Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

my world came crashing down today...


Guest Jo-88

Recommended Posts

Guest Jo-88

I have no idea why I am posting this here... but I feel I need to let this out.

My entire life just took a turn for the worse today and I have no idea how to cope with it. I don't know how to explain how serious it is without telling the whole story. As some of you may know by now, Im a graduate student I have 3 more classes to complete and I was supposed to graduate at the end of June. As my graduation gift my mom was going to help pay for me to move to san francisco and I was really hoping that the new degree will help me land a decent job out there (finally).

Well last week I was supposed to receive another federal loan disbursement to cover my final tuition and fees ($12k) as well as my living expenses ($8k). Unfortunately I got a call saying that there was an issue with my financial aid. Early last year I had taken one class at another school (FIT) and even though I withdrew they still had my academic year set for 2011-2012 and now the school I am actually enrolled in can't get the funds disbursed. For the last week I have been calling both schools back and forth (and I even got them to talk to each other) but the old school simply refuses to change the date back to when I actually withdrew. They say its against their policy and federal regulations for them to change that date, but the lady I've been working with at my current school says thats simply not true and that they do that all the time actually.

Well today after once again speaking with both schools and several departments of the federal government the reality is setting in... this can't be fixed. I won't be receiving any more financial aid until I finish the program at the original school which I have no intention of doing. Which means not only am I going to have drop out of my program now, but I actually owe them a balance... not to mention the $36k in additional loan debt Ive incurred trying to finish the degree at the new school...which now I wont have. So I have more money to pay back without anything to show for it... all I have is my bachelors in IT which so far hasn't helped me find a job at all.

Im going to have to move back home with my parents and since my brother already lives there means Im gonna be living on the couch...and I don't have a single friend where they live. Also my San Francisco plans are going to have to be shelved because part of that living expenses check was gonna be saved to help with that. Also I am probably going to have to stop my transition for the mean time as I was paying for everything out of pocket.

I am absolutely devastated... I've been crying off and on all day, I am more depressed than I think I've been in years. I don't know what to do, I just want to lock myself in my room and cry myself to sleep...

Link to comment
Guest Mia J

Oh Jodie this is so sad for you.

It is hard to believe just how hard it is to deal with the government when they are the ones who should be working for us.

Have you tried or can you try to go to legal aid for some advise on what to do.

It is just unbelievable how much students have to pay to get an education even at a so called public school.

Give yourself some time to work this out and take it easy on yourself. Maybe things will work out better in a day or two.

Remember we care here and are here to support you.

Mia

Who is really glad she worked her way through school back in the dark ages.

Link to comment
Guest Jo-88

Oh Jodie this is so sad for you.

It is hard to believe just how hard it is to deal with the government when they are the ones who should be working for us.

Have you tried or can you try to go to legal aid for some advise on what to do.

It is just unbelievable how much students have to pay to get an education even at a so called public school.

Give yourself some time to work this out and take it easy on yourself. Maybe things will work out better in a day or two.

Remember we care here and are here to support you.

Mia

Who is really glad she worked her way through school back in the dark ages.

Thank you for the words of encouragement. Also I have considered speaking to a lawyer to see what my options are but frankly I don't have the money and Im not sure if they could even help. I hope this works out, but at this point from all I've been told that doesn't look like its going to happen. My hopes and dreams have just been squashed... Im not sure how to move forward now, Im completely lost.

Link to comment
Guest Emilly

This song helped me get through something similar I hope everything will turn out better for you sister hugs

You Tube

Otis Rush Double Trouble

Link to comment
Guest Jo-88

filed a complaint against the one school with the Florida Dept of Consumer Services (think state level BBB)... I have no idea if it will help but I don't have a lot of options right now... this sucks so bad

Link to comment
Guest Maia42

This may seem insurmountable at the moment. But give yourself time, I have faith that you WILL be able to get what you need. You will find a way. <3

Link to comment
Guest ZoeG360

Jodie:

This may or may not help, but what I have found helps convince people they made a mistake is documentation. If you can find proof that you were enrolled at FIT in a specific program and you have documentation that you withdrew (there must have been some papers regarding that) then get those together and send them to the financial aid folks.

It seems to me that the problem is not that FIT wont change the date, but that the gov needs proof of the dates. They depend on the schools to give that to them but might respond if you walked into their office and said "Here, see, this is the withdrawal date, Its March, not October. I was there in 2010-2011. See this, its my enrollment here for 2011, 2012, I was here, not there"

Be nice, be cordial, don't get peed off. Ask if you can get something that will help you at least get enrolled for the final quarter untlo this gets straightened out.

If that gets nowhere, try going up the ladder. Supervisors, Managers etc. Always be nice, always be cordial. Make an appointment with a higher level person.

Failing that, find some student advocacy groups there.

Do you know anyone or know of anyone who gives a lot of money to the school? Any alumni? They have a lot of influence.

Remember that you are the consumer, you spend the money there. Be relentless.

Its been a while since I was in graduate school but I was on VA, and I ran it out to the very last dollar they had to give or guarantee and it was a squeaker.

Keep your eye on the prize.

Good Luck

Zoe

Link to comment
Guest Jo-88

Thanks for the encouragement Maia... Zoe as far as proving I am withdrawn, well apparently that isnt the issue. When I called NSLDS earlier I explained the situation and they looked up my FAFSA, it only lists my new college which is correct. The service rep basically said thats all they can really do, he said he saw where the issue was but that it was something the school had to fix. I even asked him point blank if they could help if I proved I was dis-enrolled from there he told me no. He gave me the phone number for some agency in Atlanta that he said might be able to help but when I called them I got some lady's cell phone... Im being thrown for a loop

Link to comment
Guest Elizabeth K

Thanks for the encouragement Maia... Zoe as far as proving I am withdrawn, well apparently that isnt the issue. When I called NSLDS earlier I explained the situation and they looked up my FAFSA, it only lists my new college which is correct. The service rep basically said thats all they can really do, he said he saw where the issue was but that it was something the school had to fix. I even asked him point blank if they could help if I proved I was dis-enrolled from there he told me no. He gave me the phone number for some agency in Atlanta that he said might be able to help but when I called them I got some lady's cell phone... Im being thrown for a loop

Be a tiger - don't let go. Call back again and say you apparently were given the wrong number,

Lizzy

Link to comment
Guest Jo-88

Spoke to NSLDS again (they are open till midnight apparently), anyway they told me I needed to contact these people http://www.ombudsman.ed.gov/ their entire purpose is to solve student loan disputes where the student has already tried and failed to get it resolved. Im going to call them in the morning... I'll let you know what they say.

Link to comment
Guest ~Brenda~

Taking one class at another school does not mean you were matriculated in that school. I would expect that the financial aid applies only to your matriculation.

I have one child out of grad school (graduated with honors) and another in grad school and yet another in undergraduate studies. All my kids had financial aid while going through college. My eldest needed financial aid while going through grad school, my middle one secured a stypen to go through grad school (guess it depends upon the degree). My eldest child was going through a divorce while trying to find a graduate school for her carreer choice (veterinary medicine). She managed and so can you.

One thing that I have learned in life is that monetary isssues are completely solvable. If time is part of that solution then so be it.

A year fom now, you will look back and realize that you really had nothing to worry about. Financial aid is from the government, therefore it is full of snafoo's just be patient and work with them to reconcile this misunderstanding. My eldest has $200,000.00 to pay back in school loans. She just does it without question.

Brenda

Link to comment

Jodie, I just had a son graduate with a BA here in Florida and am familiar with FAFSA, loans, etc. Two thoughts:

One, did you withdraw before the drop/add deadlines? If not, it may be necessary to get a higher up to authorize something that a lower level employee can't or won't do. So don't think quit too easily.

Second, its possible that FIT would have to reemburse that Feds a portion of the loan money if they showed you as a withdral, rather than a whole credit hour student. And maybe they don't like that idea? Again a manager's attention may be needed.

Good luck and don't give up too easily!

Michelle

Link to comment
Guest Jo-88

.... My eldest has $200,000.00 to pay back in school loans. She just does it without question.

Brenda

Yea I owe about $180k and now Im not gonna have the graduate degree... over the last 5 months I have been unemployed entirely and unable to find work in my original field (IT), my bachelors is basically worthless when your competing against recently laid off 40 somethings with 20 years of experience just for entry level positions... I wish just "paying them back without question" is an option but its just not that simple.

Jodie, I just had a son graduate with a BA here in Florida and am familiar with FAFSA, loans, etc. Two thoughts:

One, did you withdraw before the drop/add deadlines? If not, it may be necessary to get a higher up to authorize something that a lower level employee can't or won't do. So don't think quit too easily.

Second, its possible that FIT would have to reemburse that Feds a portion of the loan money if they showed you as a withdral, rather than a whole credit hour student. And maybe they don't like that idea? Again a manager's attention may be needed.

Good luck and don't give up too easily!

Michelle

To answer your question, I completed 1 class at FIT and then dropped out after the add drop period during my second course at FIT. I actually had a balance with FIT as I ended up having to pay for most of that second class out of pocket, but I've already paid off the balance and was assured that wasn't the issue. Theres a few funny things I've noticed, and Im starting to think there are multiple issues going on. I've been pouring over my paperwork all day. One of the things is that theres a difference between the dates of disbursement from the school issued financial aid award letter and my federal direct loan disclosure statement, one says 03/08/2012 and the other 03/14/2012 (respectively). Also when I log into NSLDS is shows my enrollment status dropped below half time on 02/22/2012 which is not true, this could either mean that the new school (FullSail btw) is reporting incorrectly or that somehow FIT is still reporting I am a student but that Im not enrolled in classes. The frustrating thing is that both NSLDS reps I spoke to said that they don't have the information on what institutions report what, so I can't find out whos reporting that im not enrolled in classes. Also the academic year supposably being reported by FIT ended on March 4th 2012 so even if FIT won't change their academic year period couldn't FullSail just adjust their dates to go from 03/05/2012 to 06/29/2012 instead of 02/22/2012 to 06/29/2012 so that there is no overlap? Something is fishy here, none of this adds up.

Link to comment
Guest Jo-88

Good news today...sorta. Since this is out of my control FullSail has agreed to maintain the tuition balance until I finish my last class, so I can continue school but before I can actually graduate Im going to have to pay off the balance out of pocket. I have no idea how I am going to do that yet but at least I can continue working on it. Jeez this whole affair is driving me nuts.

Link to comment
Guest Gregg Jameson

Hi Jodie,

This is good news. Keep working at it, it is bound to get straightened out!

Also, your reps in the U.S. Senate and the U.S. House of Representatives can be helpful in getting some of these federal agencies to move along more quickly. You may contact those from your state and share your story. They will usually have a staff person call and/or will issue an official letter of inquiry to the agencies involved (on your behalf). They usually request a response, in writing, from someone in the federal agency.

Nice job, so far! :D

Keep us updated.

My Best,

Brad

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   5 Members, 0 Anonymous, 142 Guests (See full list)

    • Abigail Genevieve
    • MaeBe
    • MaryEllen
    • Petra Jane
    • RaineOnYourParade
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      768.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,020
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Tami
    Newest Member
    Tami
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Bebhar
      Bebhar
      (41 years old)
    2. caelensmom
      caelensmom
      (40 years old)
    3. Jani
      Jani
      (70 years old)
    4. Jessicapitts
      Jessicapitts
      (37 years old)
    5. klb046
      klb046
      (30 years old)
  • Posts

    • Abigail Genevieve
      My wife's nurse was just here.  It is a whole lot easier to relate to her as another woman than to negotiate m/f dynamics and feel like I have to watch myself as a male around her.  It dropped a lot of the tension off, tension that I thought entirely internal to myself, but it made interactions a whole lot better.     I read your post, so I thought I would go look.   In the mirror I did not see a woman; instead I saw all these male features.  In the past that has been enough for me to flip and say 'this is all stupid ridiculous why do I do this I am never going to do this again I am going to the basement RIGHT NOW to get men's stuff and I feel like purging'.  Instead I smiled, shrugged my shoulders and came back here.  Panties fit, women's jeans fit.  My T shirt says DAD on it, something I do not want to give up, but a woman might crazily steal hubby's t-shirt and wear it.  I steal my own clothes all the time.    But she is here, this woman I liked it when I saw her yesterday. and her day will come.  I hope to see her again.
    • April Marie
      So many things become easier when you finally turn that corner and see "you" in the mirror. Shedding the guilt, the fear, the questioning becomes possible - as does self-love - when that person looking back at you, irrespective of what you're wearing, is the real you.   I am so happy for you!! Enjoy the journey and where it leads you.
    • MaeBe
      I'm sure even the most transphobic parents would, too. What does it hurt if a child socializes outside of their family in a way that allows them to understand themselves better? I have encountered a handful of kids do the binary, non-binary, back to binary route and they got to learn about themselves. In the end, there may have been some social self-harm but kids are so darned accepting these days. And really, schools aren't policing pronouns, but the laws that are coming out are making them do so--and in turn requiring a report to a parent that may cause some form of harm to the child.   If the kid wants to lie to, or keep secrets from, their parents about their gender expressions, what does it say about the parents? Perhaps a little socialization of their thoughts will give them the personal information to have those conversations with them? So when they do want to have that conversation they can do so with some self-awareness. This isn't a parent's rights issue, it's about forcing a "moral code" onto schools that they must now enforce--in a way that doesn't appreciably assist parents or provide benefit to children.   So, a child that transitioned at 5 and now in middle/high school that is by all rights female must now go into a bathroom full of dudes? What about trans men, how will the be treated in the girl's restroom? I see a lot of fantasy predator fearmongering in this kind of comment. All a trans kid wants to do in a bathroom is to handle their bodily functions in peace. Ideally there would be no gendered restrooms or, at least, a valid option for people to choose a non-gendered restroom. However, where is the actual harm happening? A trans girl in a boy's room is going experience more harm than a girl being uncomfortable about a trans girl going into and out of a stall.   How about we teach our children that trans people aren't predators who are trying to game the system to eek out some sexual deviancy via loophole? How about we treat gender in a way that doesn't enforce the idea that girls are prey and boys are  predators? How about we teach them trans kids are just kids who want to get on with their day like everyone else?
    • Adrianna Danielle
      I hope so and glad he loves and accepts me for who I am
    • EasyE
      It is sad that we can't have more open and honest dialogue on these types of topics because there is worthy debate for sure. But instead we have become a country where the only goal is to seize political power and then legislate our particular agenda and views of morality.   Remember as you read my thoughts below, that I am transgender. OK? I am pro-trans. I am trans.   But my middle school aged daughter would be extremely uncomfortable using a school bathroom also used by a biological male, as would nearly all of her friends. That side has to be considered. It's not invalidating to a trans youth's experience to take that into account and hash out what is for the common good of as many people as possible. This is reality - one person's gender expression makes others uncomfortable, in all directions. And there is disagreement on the best way to handle these types of things.   Why can't we talk about these things openly, without the inevitable name-calling that follows, and let all sides have their input and work up suitable solutions? (I bet the kids, if left alone, would work up the best solutions)... Instead, we go straight to trying to pass laws, as if we need more of those!   And why wouldn't we want parents to know if their child has decided to change their pronouns? That's a big deal and parents are right to raise that as a concern. I certainly would want to know. Not that we need to legislate this, but I would have a hard time with school administrators who try to hide this from me. They are out of line. This is my child. Whether you like my viewpoints or not, I am the parent. Not the school.    Again, I am pro-trans. I am trans. At the same point, I recognize that validating a transgender individual's gender identity doesn't trump everything else in society. And sometimes I see that creeping into these discussions. Plus, we fight a losing battle if we have to have others' validation. We are never going to get it from everybody. Ever. Not even Jesus got it and He is God himself!   This country can be very beautiful as we each exercise our freedom to be who we are and let others do the same. But my freedom ends where yours begins and vice-versa. That requires self-sacrifice. Sometimes we have to fall back out of respect for others. Sometimes we have to let the parent be the parent even if we disagree with their politics.   My cry in the wilderness is just can we please have more open, honest dialogue where both sides try take the other's views into consideration and quit automatically going the legislative route to criminalize the other side's viewpoints.   Sorry for the rant but sometimes all of this wears me out... deep sigh... 
    • RaineOnYourParade
      Bite by bite, acrobatics in abdomen
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Yesterday when I put that shirt on I saw a woman looking back out of the mirror at me.  Usually I have looked and been very frustrated because I see a man where there should be a woman.  I was expecting to see a man wearing a woman's shirt, but it was a woman wearing a woman's shirt.   On the spectrum between intersex and trans, I am more thinking I am a lot more intersex than trans, and it is only a matter of time before my wife says "you need a bra" and then "you look like a woman!" She told me whatever I want to do is fine with her, she loves me no matter what, and I am thinking that there may be a lot more for her in this than she could possibly expect. I'm not pushing it with her.
    • Petra Jane
      We have been asked to post this study.   I'm an undergraduate university student in my third year completing a BSc in Anthropology. I'm working on my dissertation, looking at languages with grammatical gender (e.g. languages like Italian and Spanish, nouns are either masculine or feminine). I'm curious if this affects/bothers people with gender identities outside the typical binary of male and female, like non-binary or transgender identities. Using this forum, I would be very grateful if anyone could answer the 5 questions I have put together in a Google form, they are open-ended questions, and you can be as brief or detailed as you want/comfortable with! All responses will also be kept anonymous. As you can probably guess, I came to online forums because finding participants in person is difficult. Talking about gender identities, I understand, can be very personal, so this online anonymised format can be safer. :) If anyone is also particularly interested in this topic, it would be awesome to message one-on-one and do the Google form survey. Having one and one interviews would also be good research! But NONE of this is compulsory, and only if anyone is interested and doesn't mind helping me out and can do so. Institution Supervising Research Study University of Kent Web Address for Study Participation https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdS9zU_dt3RR1V8-3s_0EnDl6w-jsS6-WOZO41uWeqUP0q_YQ/viewform?usp=sf_link
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
      @Mia MarieI found this    Here are critical resources to help transgender seniors face the challenges of growing older - LGBTQ Nation   As far as financial aid I came up empty. :( I'm sorry. I can only imagine what you are going through. 
    • Ashley0616
      @Adrianna Daniellecongratulations to you and your boyfriend! Hopefully a future wedding in the future!   @WillowI'm sorry about that he passed away. He sounded like a role model that others should follow.   @MmindyI'm sorry about your head cold! Hopefully it won't last too long and hope for good rest and recovery. 
    • Mmindy
      Good morning Mia,   This is a great question, and I'm looking forward to the input from others.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Mia Marie
      I see more and more postings with what the LGBTQ support organizations are doing and I see less and less about helping the older generation of us. All I really see is them wanting to help transgender youths and no matter how many times I ask for help, they tell me they can't help or they tell me the office I contacted only works with the youth only. Is there an organization that helps older transgender people? All I find when I do a search turns out with nothing more than talking about trans youths. I feel as though us older trasn folks are being left out. I applied for financial help in a form of a grant, twice, and was turned down with no explanations of why. They did ask me to help go over applications which told me I was automatically denied. Really doesn't seem fair, does it?  
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...