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Guest AnnieMpls

New here and hoping to connect

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Hello :)

My name is Annie and my spouse and I live in Minneapolis, Minnesota. We have been together almost eleven years and for many of them, I have suspected , on and off, that we could be where we are starting out today. We are legally married and my spouse is about to begin the process of M2F.

I am fortunate in that I am bisexual. We are also deeply in love and committed to one another. We are openminded and loving people. I am happy to be on this journey with Mykenna, and am excited for her to finally match the person she knows herself to be. We have a strong community of friends who are strong advocates of the GLBT communities and issues and, while they dont know our news yet, we are sure of their love and support.

Yet, I am wondering what truly is ahead...what happens when the hormones start working, for instance, remembering my own days with PMS and other hormone related stressors? What happens at surgery time? How is recovery? What am I missing? Do I have on rose colored glasses, believing that we can get thru this together, not seeing the huge bumps along the way?

Mykenna and I have been thru lots of life stuff in our 10 years together. We are strong, and remain deeply in love. I love her and I see her as so content and happy when she is in a place where Mykenna is allowed to come out. Putting on boy clothes on Mondays to go to work, for instance, seems odd now, and not consistent with who she is. So...I have no doubt of my love and committment, but..admit to being naive to the processes.

Can anyone help me address some of this stuff?

I look forward to meeting you all and we are so happy to have found this place!

Annie

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Hey Annie,

Welcome to Laura's and thanks for sharing your story!

Doesn't really sound like you're wearing rose colored glasses because you mention all the future bumps in the road you can think of. So you are aware of them and can prepare for them :) It's not like you think it'll be a cakewalk all the way.

But it sounds like you have a strong and beautiful foundation with your spouse and there's all the reason in the world to feel elated about that!

Also, it's wonderful to hear that you have supportive friends!

Looking forward to hearing more outta you :)

All the best,

Talon.

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Hello Annie

Welcome to Lauras . I too am the wife of a wonderful lady. My partner has started therapy and will be starting treatment soon .

The journey is bumby but with love and communication i belive we can all make it . I wish u and ur partner all the best .

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Hi Annie-

Welcome to Laura's from a fellow Minnesotan. Hope you can find some comfort here like I have found. I myself am just at the beginning stages of my TG growth and Laura's has certainly helped me with that.

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Hello Annie,

You sound a lot like my wonderful spouse.

My love and I have been with each other going on 20 years and our love now is just as strong or stronger that it was before I started to transition. Physically a lot of things do happen once HRT is started but we still have a very strong bond and are still intimate. It is just that the love making is different now than before. A partner that is bi is a tremendous help.

But having two women in a house can be different at times. Trying not to mix up clothes or making sure it is okay to wear each others clothes for one. :P

Mia

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Hey, I'm new here (in fact this is my first post) so I hope you won't mind me commenting on this too. Just wanted to say that I empathize with where you're coming from. I've been dating someone on and off for the past 6 months and we started dating just before her MTF gender transition began. It's been tough so far, and at the moment we're not together as such... but still love each other very much. I have no words of wisdom but wanted to offer support. It's nice to chat to other SO's who understand the process and the effect transition can have on a relationship.

For what its worth you sound amazingly lovely and I think your spouse is really lucky to have such a great person supporting them every step of the way :)

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Hello Annie,

You sound a lot like my wonderful spouse.

My love and I have been with each other going on 20 years and our love now is just as strong or stronger that it was before I started to transition. Physically a lot of things do happen once HRT is started but we still have a very strong bond and are still intimate. It is just that the love making is different now than before. A partner that is bi is a tremendous help.

But having two women in a house can be different at times. Trying not to mix up clothes or making sure it is okay to wear each others clothes for one. :P

Mia

Thank you, Mia

Can you help me understand about the changes that you are referring to? I can remember the days of PMS and perimenopause and I can imagine that HRT can feel like that. Physically, we are very open and flexible...changes happened when I went thru menopause, and we were able to accomodate that. Anyway, just curious about your own experiences?

Thanks!

Annie

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Hey, I'm new here (in fact this is my first post) so I hope you won't mind me commenting on this too. Just wanted to say that I empathize with where you're coming from. I've been dating someone on and off for the past 6 months and we started dating just before her MTF gender transition began. It's been tough so far, and at the moment we're not together as such... but still love each other very much. I have no words of wisdom but wanted to offer support. It's nice to chat to other SO's who understand the process and the effect transition can have on a relationship.

For what its worth you sound amazingly lovely and I think your spouse is really lucky to have such a great person supporting them every step of the way :)

Hi! And welcome to you! Ive been here only a few days, but have recieved such a kind, gentle and helpful welcome! Amazing!

So...how are you doing with where things are right now?

Annie

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Hey Annie :)

Well, my ex and I are really missing each other and I think on the verge of getting back together - we're both just really scared of breaking up again. We've split up 3 times in 6 months... She has some extra things going on with PTSD that proved more challenging than transition in the end. Transition feels like a finite situation that has an end in sight, sort of - culminating in her SRS in a few years. The PTSD may be forever so that's harder to manage. She's just starting to access treatment for the PTSD now.

I find myself attracted to her as she is now and also wondering about after the SRS and kind of wanting it to be right away so that I can get to know her all over again. If that doesn't sound too weird! She feels the same way; she wants to be with me and have her body be how its supposed to be. But she is okay with how it is for now, until then. I was straight (until I met her!) so there is a part of me that thinks, could I even be with a woman fully? Can we really fall in love with a person regardless of gender and can that sustain things sexually and romantically for a long time?

As you can see my thoughts are all over the place right now :D but that's where I'm at and what I'm thinking about. I really miss her and want to make things work, but part of me wonders if we'd have a better chance of succeeding if we dated after her transition is more or less complete. I really don't want that to be the case as we're in love. I hope we might be able to make things work.

When does your spouse start hormone, Annie? How are you both feeling about that step, are you excited? :)

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Hi Annie,

I will answer your question on your other post on the subject so we don't have intermixed threads going on here.

Mia

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Hey Annie :)

Well, my ex and I are really missing each other and I think on the verge of getting back together - we're both just really scared of breaking up again. We've split up 3 times in 6 months... She has some extra things going on with PTSD that proved more challenging than transition in the end. Transition feels like a finite situation that has an end in sight, sort of - culminating in her SRS in a few years. The PTSD may be forever so that's harder to manage. She's just starting to access treatment for the PTSD now.

I find myself attracted to her as she is now and also wondering about after the SRS and kind of wanting it to be right away so that I can get to know her all over again. If that doesn't sound too weird! She feels the same way; she wants to be with me and have her body be how its supposed to be. But she is okay with how it is for now, until then. I was straight (until I met her!) so there is a part of me that thinks, could I even be with a woman fully? Can we really fall in love with a person regardless of gender and can that sustain things sexually and romantically for a long time?

As you can see my thoughts are all over the place right now :D but that's where I'm at and what I'm thinking about. I really miss her and want to make things work, but part of me wonders if we'd have a better chance of succeeding if we dated after her transition is more or less complete. I really don't want that to be the case as we're in love. I hope we might be able to make things work.

When does your spouse start hormone, Annie? How are you both feeling about that step, are you excited? :)

PTSD certainly needs to be addressed, no matter what...its rough, and it can get better!

Am I excited? Yes, and nervous and full of questions. Mykenna always seems, however, so much happier and content when she gets to be herself, and I want that for her. Our marriage/r/s is strong and we do want the best for the other. She has been thru some testing with a psychologist and starts very soon with the program at our local University, which is a very good one, from what we have been told. So...while its a long process, there is alot of wisdom in that! :)

Annie

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I was straight (until I met her!) so there is a part of me that thinks, could I even be with a woman fully? Can we really fall in love with a person regardless of gender and can that sustain things sexually and romantically for a long time?

I have these same thoughts and concerns. I have been with my partner for over a decade but the transgender issues are only recent. I am finding it very difficult to think of my spouse as a woman... after so many years of seeing her as a man... but I am trying, and I guess that's all any of us can do. By the way, my mate also has PTSD, so I understand your difficulties with that as well.

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