Dying To Self

[Guest Ephilei]

A question for transgender Christians: Have you had an experience or process of dying to self in relation to your gender? If so, how did it come about? What was it that died and what was resurrected? If not, why not?

I did go through two distinct experiences of dying to self in relation my gender.

Once was during my questioning period when I knew I was not typically gendered but couldn't identify as trans either. I performed a significant prayer where I asked God to remove all of my gender identity entirely and fill me with whatever identity God desires. Consequently, I lost my inhibitions from leaving a cisgender identity that were gripping me unknowingly and willingness to accept myself truly as I was.

The second experience was a year later thinking, "hm, maybe possibly, I've mistaken God, I'll open myself up again just to be safe." Same results.

[Guest Evan_J]

Wow, that is a very deep experience to have described. No, I never experienced it. But congratulations to you it sounds liberating.

[gennee]

When I discovered that I was transgender I prayed to God about it. He let me know that he loves as His child. I have been a born-again Chirstian for nearly 36 years. He sees our hearts and desires the best for us.

Gennee

[Guest Ephilei]

I didn't expect my experience to be special; I thought it would be common among Christians.

[Guest Evan_J]

I....ok.....I will confess, I'm one of those people who probably is afraid to die to myself. I'm not perfect, in fact I'm a looooooong way away from perfect. The thing is, most of the things I think are probably listed as imperfections by god I kinda dig having as personality traits? And that being the case, I don't know if I can honest and say I "died" to myself knowing that. And I don't lie to God.

Back when I was working through the whole sexual attraction to women thing (as a teenager) I prayed for it to Go away. Actually I begged for it feeling like I'd be suicidal in this lifetime if I thought I had to be "that". And it didn't go away, it never went away. And I had to realize god loved me regardless of what my sexual issues were. I never did that with the transgender thing but I didn't because I was feeling like (to an extent) there was a connection between identity and orientation. That my identity encompassed so much of my sexuality that to do so would in effect "doubt" what God revealed in the first go around between me and him. I think I've been prayerful about it. And certainly I've gone through a huge period where I tried to "be something else" because I though it would be better for how I was feeling regarding God but when it was all said and done I found myself more depressed and suicidal and hating myself for the attempt. In the end I felt tlike what was revealed for me was that God would rather have me "changing" the body, than "hating" the body. To me that's where the sin is, "hating" something he created. If I say "I want to destroy it, damage it, hurt myself with intent" then I hate it and myself. If I say "I have to change something so that the spirit can live and be happy" thats alteration and no sin. The body was made for the spirit to live in not the spirit made to be twisted to fit the body.

[Guest ChrissyK]

God would rather have me "changing" the body, than "hating" the body

The body was made for the spirit to live in not the spirit made to be twisted to fit the body.

These words are so true I went to church since I was 5 but stopped going when I was 13. It felt as though I "lost contact" with God in that 4 years but recalling back, I realised that God was always with me. I witnessed many events happen, that perhaps can be labelled as miracles. I start going to a local church again last month and that made me start on my journey of faith and self-acceptance. This was the foundation that made me accept me as who I am. For the past 4 years when I was , supposedly "lost contact" with God, I was in denial, trying to be someone I am not.

Anyway, recently, I asked a hardcore christian friend of mine about transgenders. (Not telling her that I am one, just made an excuse that I was doing an assignment on whether sex change should be legal in our country) Her answer was surprising! She said that God created you for a purpose (implying that God gave you the body, so you should stick with it) and said that being homosexual or transsexual is just a "stronghold", a belief that one holds very strongly. She further add that by accepting Christ, you will find salvation, that your "uncomfort" will just go away and you will become a straight person or cisgender. She even said that many homosexuals that accepted Christ became straight after that.

It was really surprising! It sounds totally opposite of what you said

The body was made for the spirit to live in not the spirit made to be twisted to fit the body.

I was and still am very disturbed by her views. What is more ironic is that she is a psychology student, and psychologists should have a more open mind about stuff like these?

Hopefully I am not going out of topic. It just came to my mind.

[Guest Ephilei]

I....ok.....I will confess, I'm one of those people who probably is afraid to die to myself. I'm not perfect, in fact I'm a looooooong way away from perfect. The thing is, most of the things I think are probably listed as imperfections by god I kinda dig having as personality traits? And that being the case, I don't know if I can honest and say I "died" to myself knowing that. And I don't lie to God.

Back when I was working through the whole sexual attraction to women thing (as a teenager) I prayed for it to Go away. Actually I begged for it feeling like I'd be suicidal in this lifetime if I thought I had to be "that". And it didn't go away, it never went away. And I had to realize god loved me regardless of what my sexual issues were. I never did that with the transgender thing but I didn't because I was feeling like (to an extent) there was a connection between identity and orientation. That my identity encompassed so much of my sexuality that to do so would in effect "doubt" what God revealed in the first go around between me and him. I think I've been prayerful about it. And certainly I've gone through a huge period where I tried to "be something else" because I though it would be better for how I was feeling regarding God but when it was all said and done I found myself more depressed and suicidal and hating myself for the attempt. In the end I felt tlike what was revealed for me was that God would rather have me "changing" the body, than "hating" the body. To me that's where the sin is, "hating" something he created. If I say "I want to destroy it, damage it, hurt myself with intent" then I hate it and myself. If I say "I have to change something so that the spirit can live and be happy" thats alteration and no sin. The body was made for the spirit to live in not the spirit made to be twisted to fit the body.

That's so interesting. Given your strong connection between orientation and gender, I would say that counts. But that's between you and God.