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Dealing with Facial and Body Hair


Guest ValerieD

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Guest ValerieD

How can I deal with it? I've found that I never really get a close shave anywhere - there's always shadow. In fact, the hairs on my neck don't get removed at all, and I have a lot of stubble on my beard after just 12 hours! Unfortunately due to financial and location issues facial hair removal won't be an option for a another year, minimum, yet I hope to go full time in the summer (hopefully mid-May, just a week or two after starting HRT). What can I do?

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Guest Lizzie McTrucker

Until the hairs stop growing (due to HRT or laser/electrolysis), there always will be shadow. Get as close of a shave as possible without cutting yourself and put on some concealer to hide the shadow. then foundation. then the rest of your makeup.

Neck hairs grow in funny directions. You can shave up, down and sideways and still not get it all. I think one spot on my neck I actually have to shave in a J pattern to really get a close shave. I found 4 and 5 blade razors get the closest shave.

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Guest Krisina

Cart before the horse. If you jump some important steps along the road of transition you might find it more uncomfortable. Take care of as much hair as possible before going full time. If location and finances are an issue and if you can wait til you have had some treatment on your facial hair you might save yourself some grief. Hormones cost money and taking care of some of the facial hair first so you don't have the costs of hrt and blood work as well as the bulk of hair removal too.

I have seen people in my support group who came out full time before taking care of the hair on their face. That is NOT an easy thing to take care after the fact if you want to be on hrt. Problems with beard shadow too.

Lets look at the consequences I have seen. One was a young girl who went on hrt and is living full time as herself. She has had her name changed and been on hrt a few years. She wears foundation all the time but still needs facial hair removal. So what is the problem? It is harder after going full time and not be noticed for beard shadow and for facial hair removal treatments. If you want to get laser treatment, to get the beard shadow area of the face and neck zapped by the laser, your face will be colored from the laser treatment. After that you have 10 to 13 days of exfoliation of the hairs from your face. You can wash your face and the hairs are just under the surface and you can't clean them off your face. Its like having a dirty face but you can't clean it. You also have to use sunscreen every day to make sure your face is acceptable for the laser treatments. I have found that laser treatments take a lot of sessions, try every 5 or 6 weeks at first for the first aprox. 5 treatments, then every 8 weeks. You will see really good results after 4 or 5 treatments. You are looking at around 15 or so treatments. I don't know the exact number as I am counting what I have seen others here have had done so far and counting. I have had 9 treatments and I will never see a beard shadow again. i still need to shave but they are light colored hairs. Not everyone is a candidate for laser and it doesn't get all the hairs. That is why the FDA calls laser permanent hair reduction. Then you go onto electrolysis for what wasn't taken out by the laser.

If you go on hormones it can actually lighten the color of your hairs from what I have heard. If someone else can tell me what their experiences have been that would be great. Lighter colored hair is not a good candidate for laser.

Let's say you were going straight to electrolysis just so you have an idea what you are dealing with. One hour sessions weekly on a small area of the face until it is done. You NEED to grow out hair on your face to get the electrolysis work. So if you need work done on your upper lip area, you need to grow out the hair on your upper lip. Are you prepared to have it grow out and be living full time with that sort of thing? It won't be one treatment of clearing your upper lip and you are done either. There are several growth cycles of hair on the face, 5 growth cycles. You have 4 dormant hair growth cycles that need to be treated after that.

Don't be surprised if you needed over 100 hours of treatment on your face. That is not uncommon. Maybe even 150 hours? It can cost over $10,000. Laser treatments before electrolysis can reduce the number of treatments and cost

HRT does not make the thick male facial hairs change into fine feminine hairs. You will still be dealing with thick mail hairs, and beard shadow on HRT.

One last thing, hrt will slow the hair growth. So, if you are growing out the hair for electrolysis, it will take more days of growth for hair to be ready for removal.

A woman living full time and yet having beard shadow to cover up. People do do that, there are people here at Laura's doing that too.

Going to a GT, getting experience dressing up and going out, taking care of facial hair, going on hrt, that sort of order is always good. Then of course there is going full time, planning an action plan with human resources when you are coming out, or in the case of school how you plan on doing it. Change of your name on all your documents, drivers license, health insurance cards etc public notices in the local paper, We have some folks here who will tell you that it isn't done in one day or even in two days, it can take a while.

One step at a time.

Krisina

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Guest ValerieD

Well, given that I only make $16/week, am located in an area for college with no places for hair removal within reasonable driving distance, and my parents have said that they won't provide any financial support for transitioning, I can basically push back transitioning by 5 years or do what I've been planning. And I really don't want to give up my remaining time in college; you only get to go through college once, and I'm already a junior! I also want to avoid the issues surrounding transgender employment by transitioning before I have to find a job. Basically I found out I'm trans at the worst time in life I possibly could. I really don't want to give up any more of my dreams (such as going to a water park (one of the activities for the summer research session) as Valerie), or pass my last milestone in life (graduation) as <male name>.

To be honest, not seriously considering the idea that I'm trans sooner and going to a college in the north country instead of somewhere less remote are the two biggest regrets I have in life. It's a shame I hadn't even heard of transgender people when applying for college.

Any tips for body hair? Even keeping that in check is a full time job.

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  • Forum Moderator

Valerie-look on Groupon for your area. Even in this sparsely populated area I get regular offers for as much as 85% off on laser as well as electrolysis. Makes it much more affordable and is usually for several sessions. Every little bit helps. Also you might look around for stuff you can sell on ebay6 or pick up at garage sales and sell on ebay. You might be surprised and also able to pay for the hair removal slowly that way

Otherwise I can't help you much

Johnny

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Guest Donna Jean

.

Body hair becomes finer and reduces when you go on HRT....

I shaved at first every other day........

Now, maybe once a month to pick up stragglers......

I've had 65 hours of electrolysis and have at least that much to go...I've lived full time for a year and a half..I wish had gotten it all done before going full time!

Donna Jean

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I attempted transition once before and failed miserably. I passed alright as female but anyone who got close to me could see I was hiding a beard. I had 7 laser treatments and after the last treatment the hair was temporarily thinned for about a month before it all came back.

I tried everything I could to get rid of it. I was unemployed and my savings were going quickly. I tried waxing but had little to no luck with that. I hurt the skin on my face and neck more than I removed any hairs. It's very thick, deep rooted, stubborn and tough hairs. Not to mention it grows in so many different directions that it's nearly impossible to wax it.

Since I was looking for work with no end in sight I would put in applications and then spend about a week plucking my face. You would think plucking (tweezing for sticklers) would last around 3 to 4 weeks just like waxing right? Wrong. The beard is a primary/secondary? Male sexual identifier and I could spend about 4 days plucking my whole face and in about 2 days after completion I would need to do it all over again. There were so many hairs we're literally talking 12-16 hours per day pulling hairs and it didn't grow back thin it grows back pretty much as thick as it was when I started.

With no job I definitely couldn't afford electrolysis or laser so I invested $100 in a home electrolysis machine. All I managed to do with it was scar my face and otherwise ruin my skin. My face is sensitive all the time... which wouldn't bother me if I had a significant other to kiss my face and neck to make it feel good. Instead professional electrolysis is next to unbearable and I go for an hour at a time. The home electrolysis not only wasted my time and money but it didn't remove any hair. It did turn a bunch from black to white but the hairs were so thick they are clearly visible even after a shave. On top of everything else there is now a permanent redness in my skin. I need to go see a dermatologist and find out what exactly it is but it could be irritaation from the hairs growing under the skin and my skin now being so extremely sensitive, or it could be chronic inflamation which never goes away After 40 something hours of electrolysis, no 52 now, the hair is about 50% gone. I imagine like Dee Jay I probably have at least that many hours left. The problem is, even though I don't even need to shave now there is so much redness I always have what looks like a beard shadow and would require a small fortune in make up to cover.

You cannot fool around with hair removal. There are no cheap and easy methods and no at home permanent methods for it either. Always have laser or electrolysis with a professional or you could end up in my shoes. It's not a pleasant situation.

As for body hair, until the HRT starts helping you with that, wax and exfoliate to prevent ingrown hairs. Having hundreds of red, sore bumps is almost as bad as having the hair itself and a lot harder to hide.

It really does suck having to go through life male when we know we're female inside... but it's not easy to feel like a confident and attractive woman when we're constantly trying to hide our facial hair and such. You just cannot rush transition or you could end up like me. Alone, broke and living in your car. You can't change the past but you can certainly prepare for your future and I am sure you will find that much easier with a college degree under your belt.

Good luck hon and hang in there. It's worth it.

*hugs*

~Jade.

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  • Admin

I am going to go against the grain here and say do what you can to make you happy. I use one of the 5 blade manual razors on my chin and jaws, but I have a rotary electric shaver that i use in the neck area. Derma Blend foundation will do the job for hiding the blue-black shadow, and is not cakey after you learn to use it which could take a bit of doing. Its about $38 per jar, but for my being full time, it lasts about 3 to four months. I was told to hold off on Electro because my diabetes was not as well controlled as the endo wanted it to be, and because of my blond beard area (which still had a blue black shadow) Laser was going to be ineffective. My beard also has always been patchy, and HRT has slowed things down to a crawl. I do however plan on a trip to a private spot or unisex restroom for an absolute clean look for more than 14 hours with the Derma Blend. I do not however go smooching every guy in the mall after 10 hours. I have been on HRT for 33 months now, and was cleared to try for Electro, I did what I was told and let the hair grow for 4 days, got to the appointment, and it was too short and fine for the technician to do anything. So for next appointment, I go for a week sprouting the bristle. I did not have to pay for the last appointment time, since a friend was willing to lie in for me, and in two days, her beard was like a steel brush!! Oh well.

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Vicky, I have experienced that problem too. When I first started electrolysis Pre HRT I could shave 2 days before an appointment and it'd be almost too long. Now I pretty much have to shave the day of or the day after my appointment or it won't be long enough. She tries anyways but she also pinches the heck outta my skin with her tweezers when it's too short... *sighs* It's depressing but I normally only shave about once every two weeks, which isn't so bad since most of my neck and face is very light hairs or mostly cleared of hair so you can't see anything. Unfortunately she has never touched my upper lip and my chin is still pretty hairy. All around the mouth is more than enough thick hairs to depress me every time I look in the mirror. Oh well. It's gotta be done. A necessary evil right?

Valerie, I agree with Vicky in that you should definitely do whatever will make you happy. Your Mileage Will Vary and my above post was more of a warning than anything. If you're going to try at home methods beyond shaving be careful and be sure to take good care of your skin. My experiences are simply a testimony of what desperation can do to you so be careful. Patience is a virtue well worth investing in when it comes to transition. It may be hard to wait, but it will make going full time easier and a more positive experience in the long run. Practicing patience also gives you time to plan ahead. Research doctors, laser clinics and electrolysists, etc.

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  • 3 weeks later...
Guest Pamela5

The sad fact is facial hair removal is a major key to passing. Being small boned with soft features I passed well right after shaving and makeup but soon the shadow appeared and I was clocked often. I finally got my beard removed at electrolyogy 2000. It was painful and expensive but the hard fact is women do not have dark facial hair. Laser does not work on light hair; electrolysis is the only thing that works and is permanent. Having no facial hair made a very big difference for me and made me fully passable. I wish it was different but I think other girls will agree with me. Hair belongs on you head; not your body of face. I felt truly feminine once I had no body of facial hair.

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Guest ValerieD

You're luckier than me - I have a shadow even immediately after shaving! It's too bad I go to college in such a remote area and am financially dependent on parents who won't support transition.

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  • 4 weeks later...
Guest Dominique11

Hey all

at the moment i use hair minimizing cream it takes long but now i only shave every 3 days instead of every day

hugs

dominique

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