Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Situational body dysphoria


Ravin

Recommended Posts

Does anyone experience this? When I'm hanging out at home (usually in a beat up old t-shirt), or out with the baby, I'm pretty comfortable in the body I've got. I feel great about breastfeeding my son, I know in my gut it's the right thing to do and I'm comfortable doing it wherever we are. But when I leave the house sans kids, my chest bothers me, a lot. I feel self-conscious and awkward unless I've got a compression shirt on. For years I hid beneath extremely modest women's clothing; now I wear men's clothes and that helps.

Does anyone else experience dysphoria this way?

Link to comment
Guest CariadsCarrot

Not exactly the same thing but I do experience dysphoria more in some situations than I do in others.

For me I find that I have less dysphoria when I'm involved in something that satisfies my male ego like working out hard or compleating a DIY project or something else that allows me to express my maleness in a way I wasn't able to in all the years that I was trying to fit into a female role (I want to be clear that I'm NOT saying that women can't do DIY or work out or whatever but they are things that I was always afraid to do while trying to be female because steriotypes made me feel that I would expose the true self that I was trying to deny if I excelled in those things).

Gabe

Link to comment
Guest Gregg Jameson

HI Ravin,

I understand to some degree.

You had mentioned when you leave the house sans kids, you feel more dysphoria.

Do you mean leaving the house amplifies this, or leaving the house without the kids amplifies this dysphoria?

(It may be you feel parental with your children, but then feel more of your sense of your own individuality when out without the children?)

I can tell you that I feel less dysphoria when I am with people whom see me as they have for years. My focus is different then, for some reason. I am focused upon others.

When I venture out alone, or am with someone whom knows me as I truly am, I am so grateful they see me and accept me as I am, but I also experience more dysphoria about things I have not yet fully changed. Also, when I am out by myself, I am more conscious of myself as an individual, which includes more of my own focus being on my gender, sexuality, all of who I am.

Thanks so much for sharing!

With Admiration,

Brad

Link to comment

When I'm by myself at home I'm comfortable enough. I don't feel dysphoria about breastfeeding except sometimes at night when I'm too much with my own thoughts. Aside from then, it's like when I have a use for them, they're fine. The rest of the time I just want them to go away, and I look forward to the end of my son nursing in a way I did not with my older child, despite being determined not to let my own issues leave him short-changed. And when I'm out with just the older one it's the same as when I'm by myself.

I particularly have noticed it this week as the baby is now going to child care near where I go to school, so I take him there and for convenience wear more accessible clothing (i.e., no compression shirt), then have to change when I get to the school building (though I'm thinking about changing in the restroom at the child care center in future). I also detest pumping, which I won't have to do much longer (as soon as my body cooperates as the baby doesn't drink much ebm any more).

It's like lactivist me and masculine me have struck a balance. It's really inconvenient at times, though. I see the point about feeding the male ego--going to school/work is an at least gender neutral role in a way being "mommy" to an infant is not.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   6 Members, 0 Anonymous, 147 Guests (See full list)

    • Karen Carey
    • April Marie
    • Heather Shay
    • Ashley0616
    • Birdie
    • MirandaB
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      766.5k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,912
    • Most Online
      8,356

    DeniseKell
    Newest Member
    DeniseKell
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Beth Susan
      Beth Susan
      (53 years old)
    2. Bree138
      Bree138
      (44 years old)
    3. Catamondium
      Catamondium
    4. cody
      cody
      (17 years old)
    5. kass
      kass
  • Posts

    • Heather Shay
      This is such an exilerating time for you. All the emotions and a lifetime of wondering. HRT is a big step and you will soon find out its effects for you. I hope all goes well and you love the new you.
    • Heather Shay
      Which hurts worse - mental pain, physical pain or spiritual pain? Why?
    • Heather Shay
      The wall is finally falling down.
    • Heather Shay
      ex·hil·a·rat·ing /iɡˈziləˌrādiNG,eɡˈziləˌrādiNG/ adjective   making one feel very happy, animated, or elated; thrilling. "an exhilarating two-hour rafting experience
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • MirandaB
      Was just thinking (worrying?) about this since I have had an issue arise and need to see a new-to-me specialist, so sifting through the (in-network) doctors and trying to find one who gives the impression that they'd treat my condition and not try to wean me off HRT first. 
    • MirandaB
      Yesterday I went back to the store I shopped last week (where they remembered the "Miranda" to write on the changing room board) since I knew if I waited long enough I'd get a decent discount sent to me to pick up a second item I had hesitated to buy last time.    Was wearing a pair of jeans I picked up at Macys discount rack ala @Sally Stone  for the crazy price of two dollars!
    • Birdie
      My wardrobe is almost entirely from Torrid, but I know how to shop there.    Using the store credit card I got 5% off, plus 10% off ordering something and picking it up in the store. I also take their survey every time for an additional 10% off (25% off total).    I then shop their clearance items that are usually 30-70% off already.   I get 'name brand' items for Walmart prices. 
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://english.kyodonews.net/news/2024/03/273fdffe00c0-japan-society-on-transgender-issues-to-drop-disorder-from-name.html     Carolyn Marie
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.theguardian.com/society/2024/mar/18/science-knowledge-gap-trans-healthcare     I like the reference to "trans broken arm syndrome."  I've experienced it myself.  The more research, the better, certainly.  The problem as I see it, especially concerning reports in the popular press, is that preliminary results are often used to "prove" someones POV, or are misunderstood or used in a political way.  That is never helpful, and it isn't confined to reporting on trans health care issues.  For example, how many times have we read or heard about studies that "prove" coffee is bad, or chocolate is bad, or eggs are bad, etc., only to read weeks or months later that the opposite is true?  In the case of trans health care, it all gets politicized, too.   Carolyn Marie
    • Cisco1127
      I just finished the intake forms for an online informed consent clinic through Plume and im both nervous and excited to meet with my provider next week via video chat. I'm worried I will be turned down and cannot get a prescription for a variety of reasons. I was asked so many invasive questions during intake, which I knew would happen. I worried about what I should leave out, how honest I should be, what could be something that would deny me a prescription. I've been fighting with myself for a long time and now that I have opened myself up to hoping for change, I am so scared of having the carrot dangled in my face only to be ripped away.    And a part of me is scared of starting testosterone. I'm even more scared of inaction. Of not at least trying it and seeing how I feel about the changes. If I don't try it, I will never know, and I will be stuck in the loop of questioning whether or not it is right for me until I am filled with regrets for chances not taken rather than opportunities I've pursued.     Has anyone here ever felt fear and apprehension about staring HRT? How did you get over that fear? How do I know in my heart if this is right for me when I am always running through all of the endless possibilities of good and bad results?     
    • Carolyn Marie
      In keeping with @VickySGV's train of thought, here are links to a couple of Canadian legal resources.  I hope these can help you, as you do seem to need it.   https://justicetrans.org/en/resources/   https://www.courthouselibrary.ca/how-we-can-help/our-library-services/lawmatters-public-libraries/lgbt-legal-resource-round   https://www.halco.org/our-services/trans-legal-needs-assessment-ontario   BTW, welcome to Transgender Pulse, hon.  You are safe here.   Carolyn Marie
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      An option?  Sure.  When you come right down to it, everything except food/water/shelter is optional.  Life can be very basic....brutally basic.  Life can even be so bad that one's gender issues or sexuality are the farthest thought from your mind, at least for a while.  You can "play pretend" successfully for years or a lifetime, with nobody suspecting that your true self is different from the gender you were assigned at birth.  All kinds of choices, and its up to each person to decide which choices are more comfortable and less destructive to self and others.     From what I have learned, transition is a spectrum.  There's no one single way to do it, and your way may look very different from how a friend does it.  Some people go to great lengths with surgery.  Others are like me an my friends, non-op by choice or other circumstances.  You can do a whole bunch of stuff in a short time, or the process can take years.  I don't see it as a black-or-white kind of choice, but a progression towards authenticity and comfort.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...