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VickySGV

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I just retired from a job where I did field investigation for civil law enforcement for more than 30 years. As a result, I have been trained to be a careful observer and recorder of what I see and hear with my own senses. Add in a small issue of paranoia (yeah they WERE out to get me) and I am aware of things in my world that most people never see or notice even if they see.

It takes the optic nerve to transmit a picture to your brain, and the time lapse from eye nerve stimulation to brain stimulation can be measured. What the brain does with the image is where it gets complicated and time consuming, because it has to find something else to make the image mean something to you. That takes work, and most people's brains are lazy or do not see a need to do the work, so you can't remember or note something more than a few instances ago.

FAST FORWARD, because you can see where I am going with this, so I will. Post your picture here in the context of it being a trans person, and certainly I will see a trans person. Now that I am off duty and you walk by me on the street, I am no longer on hyper observation, and I will see nothing to indicate trans, because I am lazy in my brain, given the chance. On Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills though, I expect to see women dressed as women, even in male chic designs. Outside a CD club a few miles from here, I see trans people on the street and parking lot easily, not because they look bad (but many do for their own reasons [they don't care if they get read there]) but because I know its a CD/ <negative word> Club. In relaxed mode, I would probably clock the natal female SO's as trans also, again, because my brain is lazy too.

Putting your picture here will make you feel good, and thats what we are here for, but remember I will be taking more than a moment to look at it, and YES I WILL find things wrong with a perfect natal <male> <woman> picture. I kid a few of you about posting pictures of your female relatives, and this is meant as a compliment. But as a trained observer who sees people for detail, if you slipped a real picture of your third kissing cousin natal female relative in, I would still find natal male charcteristics there too, and boy would she be ticked off at you. (That would also be against the rules and guidelines and could get you kicked out of here). The more I stare at a photograph the more it will look funny, so here I personally rarely do more than glance at them. Nothing flashes "Danger Will Robinson" and I will go on my way with a thumbs up.

Moral of this story, you can probably pass in public if you simply have the nerve to post a picture here, and even if someone hoots at you here, it won't happen in real life. I have just gotten to the point with myself where this is a gut reaction about me but thats better than a brain reaction. So go out and have fun as the real you. Lazy brain in the other person is a safety net for all of us. If you go to a place with a lot of T folks, yeah you will pass for being T, but maybe thats what you really want.

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Guest Krisina

Vicky that is a good observation about people and the lazy brain. People are not looking for anything out of the ordinary, they are simply going about their ordinary day. If you are in an area you know has transgender folks you might be more observant knowing it the area. etc etc All good points. The lazy brain is a safety net for the rest of us. It might have some holes but it helps.

Krisina

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  • 4 weeks later...
Guest Lani

I just retired from a job where I did field investigation for civil law enforcement for more than 30 years. As a result, I have been trained to be a careful observer and recorder of what I see and hear with my own senses. Add in a small issue of paranoia (yeah they WERE out to get me) and I am aware of things in my world that most people never see or notice even if they see.

It takes the optic nerve to transmit a picture to your brain, and the time lapse from eye nerve stimulation to brain stimulation can be measured. What the brain does with the image is where it gets complicated and time consuming, because it has to find something else to make the image mean something to you. That takes work, and most people's brains are lazy or do not see a need to do the work, so you can't remember or note something more than a few instances ago.

FAST FORWARD, because you can see where I am going with this, so I will. Post your picture here in the context of it being a trans person, and certainly I will see a trans person. Now that I am off duty and you walk by me on the street, I am no longer on hyper observation, and I will see nothing to indicate trans, because I am lazy in my brain, given the chance. On Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills though, I expect to see women dressed as women, even in male chic designs. Outside a CD club a few miles from here, I see trans people on the street and parking lot easily, not because they look bad (but many do for their own reasons [they don't care if they get read there]) but because I know its a CD/ <negative word> Club. In relaxed mode, I would probably clock the natal female SO's as trans also, again, because my brain is lazy too.

Putting your picture here will make you feel good, and thats what we are here for, but remember I will be taking more than a moment to look at it, and YES I WILL find things wrong with a perfect natal <male> <woman> picture. I kid a few of you about posting pictures of your female relatives, and this is meant as a compliment. But as a trained observer who sees people for detail, if you slipped a real picture of your third kissing cousin natal female relative in, I would still find natal male charcteristics there too, and boy would she be ticked off at you. (That would also be against the rules and guidelines and could get you kicked out of here). The more I stare at a photograph the more it will look funny, so here I personally rarely do more than glance at them. Nothing flashes "Danger Will Robinson" and I will go on my way with a thumbs up.

Moral of this story, you can probably pass in public if you simply have the nerve to post a picture here, and even if someone hoots at you here, it won't happen in real life. I have just gotten to the point with myself where this is a gut reaction about me but thats better than a brain reaction. So go out and have fun as the real you. Lazy brain in the other person is a safety net for all of us. If you go to a place with a lot of T folks, yeah you will pass for being T, but maybe thats what you really want.

Agreed!!

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Guest Kelly-087

I see transition photos, and I know they are trans as you said.

but I know I wouldn't give them a second look in every day life. I even knew a trans boy that looked like a girl to me, but because of his insistance that he was male no one really doubted him.

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  • 6 months later...
  • Admin

Bumping this one up, the same sentiments I had when I wrote it are sufacing again.

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Guest KarenLyn

This same thing is why it can be difficult to transition on the job. The "lazy brain" says "Oh, there's so-and-so, really a ...". I'm not saying that can't be and isn't regularly overcome. It can just make it take a little longer.

My observation and 2¢ worth,

Karen :)

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  • 2 years later...
Guest noeleena

Hi,

heres one for you , what about a person who is female , yet her looks are more masculine what then facial that is , yet her body over all is female, , you see many of us dont have that female feminine look about us and theres any number of reasons ,

Some of us are born this way some for surgery reason or other with disfiggerments ,

i know theres many dressers and others who wont to be like women and just dont have what is needed,

Even if your looking as you said sometines you you dont all ways see what you think you see .

My photo shows that very planly and i dont try or hide the fact of how i look , so i,d be clocked as said yet am i a male ...no...so if im judged on my looks then , i,ll be writen off as male , till one gets to know me as a person they find im not male just a normal female .

so what would you look for in a person just on sight alone because that can be very wrong . and i,v proved that with a woman i know and seen and Jos was with me as well and both of us heard her she sounded just like a deep voiced male till we saw her ,

So from that i dont base my thinking just on looks alone now as was proved in this case, ...interesting ,

...noeleena...

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  • 10 months later...
  • Forum Moderator

I'm glad you brought this topic up again Vicky.  I think context certainly has a great deal to do with it.  i've noticed that cis gendered women have trouble passing as themselves (female) at support groups.  One sees flaws in all of those who pass perfectly in the world.  I remember when i first went out paying extra attention to what it was that made my eye and brain say "female".  Hair, shape, clothing, size etc.  There are many factors and when a few of them run together without anything that screams male like a beard( i know cis women who shave) we see female.  

The majority of us definitely fit within the broad range of female appearance.  If we are very tall or huge in the shoulders it may bring questions but when other clues say female the brain goes that way especially if we have the confidence to see that as our own reality.

I allowed a young woman to run our sawmill to cut some of her flooring last weekend.  Her husband posted pictures of her Facebook and friends commented on how brave she was to do it.  She replied that all of the new flooring for her house was being cut by a 68 year old woman.  

We see what we are presented with and accept it without the questioning so many of us think others must do.

Relax and be yourself.  Life is more fun and peaceful that way.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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  • Forum Moderator

In general terms Vicky I would agree.

My experience has also shown me that if one is somewhat half and half, that is when people have to look more closely for clues. In passing (literally) this is not an issue as people just glance and the moment is gone but in an extended encounter it can be an issue. Alternatively when one is obviously female with a dress, or similar,  one is taken as female without a second glance.

The result of this is that, although it appears more risky, it is better to be obviously female. That has been my experience.

Tracy

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  • Forum Moderator

You're correct about the passing moment and that the extended encounter.  I recently was faced with an extended close visit with a stranger (was buying a car, private sale) and I had my concerns with passing but as I was dressed appropriately and behaving correctly I had no issue.  When I went back to pick it up several days later I continued to be the kind of person they (husband/wife) expected and I was treated warmly.  Yes, it was a fun experience even though I wasn't able to probe about the vehicle as "he" would have.  

Jani  

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  • 2 years later...

I have a very skinny body and very pretty eyes. It is easy for me to wear dresses and skirts. My face looks very young and many people guess me in my younger 30’s.  I shave my facial hair as best I can but there is still a shadow. If I put on makeup and my wig I think I could pass it’s the facial hair that gives me away as a male. I act very female and that is normal for me. It use to bother me but not anymore. I use to try to sit like a male and force myself to try to be masculine but now I don’t. I have gone out in public with my wig on but not a dress or skirt. I want to be beautiful! I just can’t be all male. I think it’s a lot how we carry ourselves and act. When I am mistaken as a female over the phone. I get excited! I work on a phone job. If I could get over thinking for people then I could feel more free to be me. 

 

You create the world around you. What you see and observe. So even if they are looking you don’t know what their thinking. I get a lot of smiles in my day. I let my female side lead and I find I’m much happier and calmer. 

 

I want to be brave! 

 

Love all

 

Tessa?‍?

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hi! When I sported a “beer belly,” short hair, and hairy legs, I never really “felt female “ when I looked at myself in the mirror or pictures. In the past two years I have drastically changed my looks. I have been removing my body hair, from the nose down, and letting my hair grow on top for 8years. I have kept my body weight down and plan on losing more, especially now that I’m on HRT, weight distribution has helped and should help as time passes.  My smooth legs and long hair have made me feel better in private and public cause I have gotten second looks from both men and women. If i didn’t have facial hair I would be more confident in passing if I wore the right makeup. I know that my bone structure in my face would be a tell, but I need to learn how to do my makeup properly. I want to have my makeup done professionally someday. I will definitely have my makeup done for Pride 2019. Another issue has been my boy parts. They make me feel self conscious. I haven’t tried to wear a gaffe yet, but I  will feel much better getting an Orchiectomy, so I don’t have to use special gaffes or duct tape, ?. I can’t wait until I can wear some of my thongs I’ve saved, and a ton I want to buy someday after my surgery. I will feel much better when I finally get the courage to wear my skirts in public. Soon! 

I must say that the Snapchat gender filter has boosted my confidence level on passing with makeup 100%! I just got it, but I love it already and know what I will be doing after I get home tomorrow, and the next day....I will be putting on makeup, and trying on different outfits and taking a ship ton o pics using Snapchat!! Very excited. I think confidence helps people looks, and being more comfortable definitely helps. 

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Sounds like your on your way girl! It’s a little harder for me because I can’t get myself to go in hrt. I want to be able to express my inner woman without it. Is that cheating? I don’t have any insurance right now and little money. Is there anyway you can remove your facial hair without hrt? I wish I was shorter. My body is tall and skinny. I feel I was shaped like a toothpick. 

I was called that when I was a kid. 

 

There’s nothing like coming back from work and putting on a mini skirt and bra and t-shirt and just walking around in my apartment. I know it’s a secret place but no one can judge me there. Today I stepped outside in my mini skirt and wig and sag down in my lawn chair. That was a big step for me! 

 

I have a guy friend who is ok with me dressing up but my family is totally against me. In fact I once got brave and went to my moms house with my wig and my step dad made fun of the situation and said I looked like a clown. That hurt. Then during a party my mom had for my girls (I’m divorced) I say girls but one girl wants to be a boy. My Step dad mentioned the wig and laughed. That hurt. Don’t they know that’s a part of me. 

 

To be trans is hard. I won’t lie. But when I’m Tessa with my guy friend it’s amazing! He once thought I was gay but we’ve covered that. He once liked me but we covered that. Now we’re friends and he does tease me but it feels so good when he calls me Tessa and Monday night he treated me like a woman. I won’t lie. When we were sitting on the couch watching on his phone Game Of Thrones I was dressed in a dress almost cuddling up to him. I guess I was feeling like a girl at that time. Was I wrong? 

 

I just want peopld to see that lovely, energetic, sexy side of me. I’m going to PFlag and I want to be able to dress up there. They know me as Tessa.  I feel really alone in all of this. As soon as I get insurance I want to see a gender specialist. 

 

I’ve said way to much here. I guess I just neeed to talk a little. It helps. Read my poems Ellora. I think you would enjoy them. 

 

Love to all❤️

 

Tessa 

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Hi Tessa! You are woman, and it is your life, you choose how you live it. HRT is one way, but not the only way to “remove hair.” HRT does not guarantee hair loss, there are different factors that will be taken into consideration. If you do take HRT, that could change your body shape, depending on how the weight distribution factors into that. Genetics, and the shape other family member might give you an idea. I wish I was taller, but alas I am not.

 

Enjoy your sacred place, everyone should have one. I can’t wait until I am able to take walks in my skirt. 

 

No disrespect, but your mom and step dad sound like they are toxic for you and your kids. 

 

Thats really cool cool that you have a friend that you can feel good being with. You are never wrong when you feel like a girl, enjoy it!

 

i hear you, I want to be able to feel and be myself in public. I too feel alone, but I enjoy all of the baby steps that I make, and want to be patient with how this is transpiring , because I have found it is best not to rush good things. If you have a LGBTQ organization near by, they should have therapist that could help you.

 

i will check out your poems, thank you!

 

thank you for your kind words, I hope you find peace in your journey!

 

 

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4 hours ago, Tessa said:

I was dressed in a dress almost cuddling up to him. I guess I was feeling like a girl at that time. Was I wrong? 

Nothing wrong with feeling like a girl, but be careful of sending out mixed signals with your guy friend there is a difference between chilling out and snuggling. Permanent hair removal costs, you just have to budget although lots of folks on here seem to have gotten deals to help ease the financial pain a bit.

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Ellora, 

 

I recently have joined PFlag. I could ask them about a therapist. I don’t know why I didn’t think of that. 

 

I’m beginning to have a lot of trans dreams. Never had them before. I’m my dream I am a woman but still feel like a man. I never see my face but I know that I am different. I dreamt I was in a beauty pageant last night. Some people were judging me but others were supporting me. 

 

In the morning i love to put together an outfit that matches everything. Even down to the panties I wear. I only wear a bra at home. Do girls want to match everything? 

 

I love just being me at work. I work at a bank that has been supportive of me. At one time I changed my name. They gave me a new name tag for my desk and everything! But I then changed back because it just felt weird. They told me any time I want to be Tessa I they will gladly do that for me. 

 

I never really loved myself in my marriage. It was always about her.  I was a slave and she made me do things I was uncomfortable with. She would also verbally abuse me in front of my children. 

I was the cook, driver, provider, but not her lover. I think it went all down hill when I lost my job. She blamed me and then she went back to school. I did everything and worked a dead end job. 

 

I love to shop and have quite the wardrobe. People and family have told me I buy to many clothes. I like to look nice and wear a different outfit everyday. I feel clothes are an expression of how we feel about ourselves. The are the only tool to show the world who we are. You have your nails, face, hair, and body as well but clothes have a big part. What do you think? 

 

Being a man is hard for me. I was made fun of in school for my skinny body which I see now as a blessing! I can easily fit on skinny jeans. I am 5,11 though thanks to my dad. A little tall for a woman. 

 

I want to be my authentic self. Regardless of what that may look to the world. I am a beautiful woman inside and that’s what I want to show! I maybe mixed but the man part of me is very small. 

 

I love to talk. 

 

Tessa

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Hi Tessa! 

The people at PFlag would be a great resource for a lot of your questions and to talk to, and the people attending their events. I am fortunate I live in an area that next to a very friendly to our community. Glad that you have a place to go too.

 

i have had very few trans dreams, but nothing notable. If I have, I haven’t recalled any just yet. Sounds like your Beauty pageant dream was a reflection of how you might feel day to day, some people judging you and some not. 

 

Im sorry to hear that you had a bad marriage. Mine was not a good one either. That goodness that is now in the past. I’m very happy with the relationship I have with my kids now. Toxic relationships are bad and a waste of time.

 

If I had more chest of drawers I would buy more clothes ?. I have never been so into clothes, until I started to buy women’s clothes. As soon as I felt comfortable buying women’s clothes, I couldn’t stop ?, until I realized I was going to run out of space ?. I’m now holding off buying bras and tops, cause I want to wait until my breast start growing. I don’t want to waste any money in case the bra sizes change too drastically. If they do grow big enough to make a difference, then I’ll need a ton more of money, cause I have been eyeing a lot of bras ?. Kinda the same with panties, i have a ton of thongs I have an eye on after I get my Orchiectomy. There is only one type of thong I can comfortably wear right now. I have one and a half drawers just for panties, and a full half with panties that will fit better afterwards too. Shopping for women’s clothes make me feel better for many reasons. I’m  Expressing myself how I felt at the moment of purchasing, how it made me feel after I bought it, how I feel every time I think about how I feel when I’m going to wear it, and during when I can walk around my place, and dreaming of when I can go out in public. I don’t know others feel, but it makes me feel good, and that’s what counts. I have been growing my hair out for about 8 years, and  just the last three years I have been letting it flow when I want. I love my long curly hair and plan to let it grow as long as it can. I know I get looks, but I also get a lot of compliments.  I don’t wear nail polish too much, but it makes me feel good when I do wear it. I looooove lipstick, it is a must when I’m at home, and will wear it everywhere when I can. Same with mascara and eyeliner, love it!!! The color reflects  how I feel at the moment. I love my long legs so wear shorts alllll the time, and I know I get looks in public by both men and women. Look all you want. I can’t wait until Pride, I plan to have fun going out in public in full compliment. I’ll probably be floating on air the whole time! You should enjoy it too, even if someone’s else doesn’t understand. Others do not need to understand what we are doing all the time. They have their own lives  to worry about. Sometimes people get jealous when others live their lives the way they want to. People get scared when others aren’t sheep like they are. Sorry, not sorry, My Life, My Rules. 

 

I bought a bunch of 5” seam shorts and threw away all of my cargo shorts and pants. I got rid of my baggy clothes and I’m trying to watch my weight. I wish I was as skinny and tall as you. There are sooo many skirts, blouses, and dresses I would buy!! It would be sooo much easier to buy bras and tops, especially the cute ones. And the skirts and panties. Enjoy the advantage you have buying clothes! 

 

I am am the Happiest when I can be myself, and that’s when I can be the woman I truly am. It will happen, it is happening. Revel in the small things and baby steps. Oh and when you feel “butch,” be butch, don’t feel bad if you are not as feminine at the moment. Be yourself! I hope you have a wonderful life ahead of you. Don’t let others discourage you. If they are toxic, then phase them out, or set your boundaries when you are with them. 

Enjoy life, enjoy yourself! 

?

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Thanks. 

 

You sound like a very sweet person.  I wish I had more confidence in myself not to worry what others think. Even when I dress up in bright clothes I’m looked at a little strange. I don’t care. I don’t wear my wig in public or work. 

 

I do have a lot of mini skirts and they feel great! I love them!  Not to many dresses though. I get embarrassed buying them so I never try them on. I need to get over this. Who cares what the dressing person thinks right?

 

Anyway. Keep up your confidence girl! 

 

Ttyl Hon 

 

Tessa 

 

 

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DeeDee, 

 

Thanks for your reply. I think what attracts me to him is that he is nice to me and let’s me be the girl. He says he doesn’t like people but me and him get along so well. He doesn’t really take care of himself much though. Same clothes all the time. I asked him why? He said he likes himself that way. So that’s cool. It’s weird having these feelings. I like girls but I am attracted to men in some way to. If we could put gender aside I think true love is from the heart. I’m so confused. I feel mostly like a woman but still have feeling like a man. Crazy. 

 

I feel Tessa is who I really am but to look like her is work. I mean making people see you as a woman. My inside screams woman! 

 

I get lonely and depressed when I’m alone. When I dress up like Tessa all of that seems to fall away. I love to write, color, take photos, style, read, and take the beauty in of the world and people. I love bright colors and sunsets and romantic movies. I love the feeling of freedom inside myself. Not trying to be someone I’m not. I love wearing jewelry. 

 

I feel emotions of people and want to cry with them. Especially st my job with the customers who have to give up their cars. I’m a collection specialist and sometimes it’s a hard job. 

 

I just needed to say these things

 

Tessa

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19 hours ago, Tessa said:

Thanks. 

 

You sound like a very sweet person.  I wish I had more confidence in myself not to worry what others think. Even when I dress up in bright clothes I’m looked at a little strange. I don’t care. I don’t wear my wig in public or work. 

 

I do have a lot of mini skirts and they feel great! I love them!  Not to many dresses though. I get embarrassed buying them so I never try them on. I need to get over this. Who cares what the dressing person thinks right?

 

Anyway. Keep up your confidence girl! 

 

Ttyl Hon 

 

Tessa 

 

 

 

You're welcome, and Thank you! I wish I was brave enough right now to be able to go out in Public in the clothes i would rather wear. My confidence is building and ever growing, it isnt always there, but im working on it.

 

The dresses I have were purchased on Amazon. I cant wait until im brave enough to try and buy them at a real store. I only buy my camisoles and other prepackaged clothes at Costco.  I have two stores I have in mind, and cant wait until i go some day. I also buy my skirts online. I prefer to buy the wrap skirts, cause they are easy to put on, comfortable, some come with great colors.

Take your time, dont pressure yourself, when the time is right, it will happen. My anxiety builds up if i pressure myself, and for now amazon and costco will do. 

 

Thank you again, and best wishes for everything that makes you happy!

 

=Hugs= 

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  • 2 years later...
On 8/14/2016 at 9:20 PM, Jani said:

You're correct about the passing moment and that the extended encounter.  I recently was faced with an extended close visit with a stranger (was buying a car, private sale) and I had my concerns with passing but as I was dressed appropriately and behaving correctly I had no issue.  When I went back to pick it up several days later I continued to be the kind of person they (husband/wife) expected and I was treated warmly.  Yes, it was a fun experience even though I wasn't able to probe about the vehicle as "he" would have.  

Jani  

I dated a woman who was an auto mechanic she was all woman but had a somewhat masculine demeanor perhaps from working mostly with males all day. I knew another woman who was a carpenter. She was a very girly girl but she was strong as an ox but built very "womanly".

 

I was out in "sissy" mode taking trash to the compactor when it began to rain. A lady asked "Ma'am do you need a ride?" It started pouring so I accepted. I used my male voice when speaking with her.  I figured she's see me walking around the complex in boy mode. I've been "ma'amed" at the post office and by wait staff.  I've been "ladies" when with my wife. It drives her nuts and when we go out she wants me to put my hair in a ponytail.  If I got the "full treatment"  the only thing that could out me are my hands. My hips indent above my navel like a genetic female.

 

I think with most "fully treated" M2F unless I looked for the few tell tale signs, I would not be able to tell.

 

 

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  • 3 months later...
On 8/24/2021 at 5:11 AM, Sometimes Chrissie said:

I dated a woman who was an auto mechanic she was all woman but had a somewhat masculine demeanor perhaps from working mostly with males all day. I knew another woman who was a carpenter. She was a very girly girl but she was strong as an ox but built very "womanly".

 

I was out in "sissy" mode taking trash to the compactor when it began to rain. A lady asked "Ma'am do you need a ride?" It started pouring so I accepted. I used my male voice when speaking with her.  I figured she's see me walking around the complex in boy mode. I've been "ma'amed" at the post office and by wait staff.  I've been "ladies" when with my wife. It drives her nuts and when we go out she wants me to put my hair in a ponytail.  If I got the "full treatment"  the only thing that could out me are my hands. My hips indent above my navel like a genetic female.

 

I think with most "fully treated" M2F unless I looked for the few tell tale signs, I would not be able to tell.

 

 

I might be imagining this but the older you get, and I'm 58, you can get away with a less feminine figure maybe? I've already learnt the rudiments of making your hips seem larger, and men are far less likely to examine you closely if you look like 58.  Mask wearing definitely helps.  When the time comes to take that giant leap into the open air in public I'll wear a coat and scarf, little bit extra camouflage.  

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I have never looked my age. Even into my 60's, people thought I was in my late 40's. But I can't kid myself at 69 into believing I can pass as a 40-something female. I have to remind myself that it's ok, that I don't have to try to, and I can dress more my age...with a certain degree of appropriate fashion sense. In other words, I don't have to dress as an elderly street urchin. And yes, masks, as useless as they are otherwise (IMO) are helpful.

 

I've suddenly, with the onset of my first fall/winter season being able to dress as myself, become much more comfortable in public. Grocery shopping, going for long walks, etc. Never thought I'd be doing that so quickly. Today I was wearing tights, a light jacket (over my shirt, under which was a bra), and ankle boots. Heading into a store, one of the security gentlemen held open the door and said, "How are you today, young lady?" If he only could have seen how I lit up under my mask!

 

I've been growing my hair, from a crewcut, for 21 months now, my facial hair is not thick or dark enough to shadow, very naturally light, and about half gray now, so even after a day or so of not shaving it's not an issue except up very close. Without the mask, with the appropriate clothing, hair style, and manner, only relatively close observation and scrutiny would suggest something other than a senior citizen type woman.

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I get ma'amed a lot. It's mostly to do with my voice, but I like to think I have a more androgynous sounding voice, and voice apps have helped to gauge that. I start off at a higher pitch but my sentences always end at a low pitch, and it's kinda nice! Once I get my haircut and get new glasses, hopefully my face will look less feminine and I'll be harder to clock. I can definitely see masculine features in my face, and I tend to focus on those a lot. I can't name them, but I know they're there.

But apparently I act really masculine? I was told, verbatim, "This is the first time I've seen [my name] act like a girl." How was I acting like a girl? I got flustered. That's it. So apparently I act very masculine, and that may be why I'm more comfortable in male dominated circles. No clue, but it's something.

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  • Forum Moderator
9 hours ago, Hannah Renee said:

I have never looked my age. Even into my 60's, people thought I was in my late 40's.

Transition, E and wearing a wig i always get a kick when folks look shocked when i say i'm 73.  If they say i look like i'm in my 50's i like to complain.  "Why not 40". 😄

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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