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Guest kimberly c

facial hair

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Hi, ladies, I just cant convince my wife to let me shave all my facial hair. I would love to be hair free and explore the

outside world as a complete female and to see if I could pass. I love crossdressing so much, this is my one

drawback. Help me.

Love Kim

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LOL, as much as it pains me to say this...."It's easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission"

It's your face hun, shave away. I'm certain she doesn't ask your permission to shave her legs.

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Every wife has a line that had best not be crossed. The trouble is, we can only guess where it is. Much as I hate to disagree with a moderator, especially being only a newbie to this site, I think gaining permission in the long run would be more productive. You're not going to be able to maintain "passing" without her help and cooperation, my guess is that it would be worth the wait and negotiation.

Love, Jan

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Hi Kim,

I think that simply shaving facial hair is still firmly in the realm of masculine and not at an unreasonable thing in and of itself. Is it the action of shaving itself she resists or your intent to pass? Depending on her motivation for resisting, it will affect how best to go about convincing her.

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I have to agree about keeping her feelings in mind. It does sound like she still hasn't fully accepted this about you though and shaving would take away something that holds you to her. I would explore this with her and find out what is that she is really feeling about it. Trust me men arent the only ones who don't fully express their feelings. I would how ever be sensitive to how she feels.

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That's kind of ironic, because most wifes are against their husbands growing facial hair.

Maybe just get some clippers and make it a little shorter to get her used to the idea?

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You might try talking to her saying at this time you aren't looking to go outside, just want to feel more like a woman in the privacy of your own house. If thats OK with her, then maybe later on down the road you could talk to her about going out

Tina

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Hi Kim, like others say it's your face, your body, and your expressions.

I shaved off my greying mustache years ago, and received resistance from my wife, she liked it and said so, there was a sentimental attachment to wearing it I guess. Now it's not even mentioned, and I am taking steps to clear my face of it once and for all. In my case it turned into a grey scourge, it made me feel old, and well male. A smooth face is so nice, and when this hair removal project is done, I won't miss shaving my face one bit, yuk. Costly yes - worth it - yes !

A compromise might be shaving off what you have and using a foundation like DermaBlend to go out in femme without beard shadow. That works pretty good for a few hours anyway, then you can always regrow it, if becomes an issue for the both of you.

Cindy -

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Every wife has a line that had best not be crossed. The trouble is, we can only guess where it is. Much as I hate to disagree with a moderator, especially being only a newbie to this site, I think gaining permission in the long run would be more productive. You're not going to be able to maintain "passing" without her help and cooperation, my guess is that it would be worth the wait and negotiation.

Love, Jan

You're perfectly welcome to disagree with anyone you like :) I'll share my reasoning though. Transition is a slippery slope at the best of times, doubly so when you're in a committed relationship before coming out. It's incredibly important to consider the feelings of your loved ones, I don't disagree with that, BUT, you CAN'T let them be in total control of it either. Sometimes we have to assert ourselves, and I think that if you can't even do something as simple as shaving off your beard for yourself, something that even cis-men commonly do, then you won't really have a leg to stand on when it comes time to discuss the more important matters.

I love my wife dearly and respect her feelings, but I don't and won't ask her permission for everything I wish to do, and I know she respects me enough not to expect it of me.

As I said, though, you're more than welcome to disagree with me, I don't mind :)

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I have had my beard for over 35 years, and my wife has never seen me without it. So, I for one would not shave it off without some heart to heart discussions. I know if it was that important to me to shave it, she wouldn't stand in my way, but she would need some time to prepare for that drastic move. And I would respect that. That said, I know that even without the beard I would still be a man in a dress. I have seen so many CD's who are simply lovely and totally passable. But that would not be me. So I try to get out where I can hide in the open, or dress somewhat androgynous enough in TG friendly areas where I get a 'pass' (though not passable), despite the beard. Just my 2 cents worth...

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I had to leave my wife to stand a chance of being free. Not all her fault, I handed my freedom to her with too much permission based living disguised as consideration which she happily took for granted until I tried reversing the balance. Had to step off the Titanic to avoid going down.

Hugs

Rachel

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