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Guest Lacey Douglas

public bathroom at 13

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I was camping in the early 70's with my family, when on the beach I went to the public bathroom. It was a weekday so it was almost deserted. I was sitting there with my bathing suit around my ankles when a man about 50 came in. There were 3 stalls on one side, facing 3 stalls on the other side, and none of them had doors. He sat across from me. He was staring at me, and the more he stared the more construct I became, although I tried to cover myself, with my hands in my lap. I realized at some point I had to stand up and pull on my suit at some point, as he was going nowhere, in fact he was openly playing with himself. My erection just wouldn't go away no matter how much I willed it to go down.

Finally, I stood up and quickly reached to pull my suit up. He then for the first time spoke, and said move your hands and let me see. Without being to graphic, he made me get on my knees, and you can guess what I was made to do. After he left, I went in the water to cleanse myself both psyically and mentally.

Returning to my families campsite, with Mom, Dad, and brother, I felt so ashamed.

I have to admit that now, years later, i recall that incident, and pretend I was wearing women's bikini bottoms, and enjoy the memory, but for years, I was disgusted with the whole thing, not to mentioned embarressed

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At 13, sex is an experimental thing for everyone, and much more so than people admit. You were taken advantage of my an adult, who would have gone to prison for what happened. People like him count on reactions like yours to avoid being prosecuted. You were the victim, not the criminal. It is a shame you were abused and made to suffer. It is a good thing that you are now talking about it.

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I'm so sorry that happened to you Lacey. What Wendy said is true.

I also want to let you know that the fact you now use the memory for pleasure doesn't make it any less of an abuse or make you in any way less innocent in it. You'd be surprised how common it is for abuse survivors.

Gabe

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Dear Lacey, Sorry for the pain caused by a brutal person. You were abused, and that is the short of it. You've made the best of it but it still obviously hurts you. Talk to a therapist if you haven't already done so. It helps to know ourselves better. Thanks for sharing and welcome to Laura's.

Hugs, Charlie

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I concur. This guy is an animal, so low that other prisoners in prisons have nothing but contempt for his type.

You are guilty of nothing, but he knew you would feel that way. He depended on it.

Please, do not beat yourself up. I know this advice is basically worthless, human nature being what it is, but it is still true.

It also sounds like you may have some post tramatic stress over it, which is a shame. PST is slowly becoming treatable, if it gets you too down look into getting help.

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