Jump to content


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Guest Lacey Douglas

public bathroom at 13

Recommended Posts

Guest Lacey Douglas

I was camping in the early 70's with my family, when on the beach I went to the public bathroom. It was a weekday so it was almost deserted. I was sitting there with my bathing suit around my ankles when a man about 50 came in. There were 3 stalls on one side, facing 3 stalls on the other side, and none of them had doors. He sat across from me. He was staring at me, and the more he stared the more construct I became, although I tried to cover myself, with my hands in my lap. I realized at some point I had to stand up and pull on my suit at some point, as he was going nowhere, in fact he was openly playing with himself. My erection just wouldn't go away no matter how much I willed it to go down.

Finally, I stood up and quickly reached to pull my suit up. He then for the first time spoke, and said move your hands and let me see. Without being to graphic, he made me get on my knees, and you can guess what I was made to do. After he left, I went in the water to cleanse myself both psyically and mentally.

Returning to my families campsite, with Mom, Dad, and brother, I felt so ashamed.

I have to admit that now, years later, i recall that incident, and pretend I was wearing women's bikini bottoms, and enjoy the memory, but for years, I was disgusted with the whole thing, not to mentioned embarressed

Share this post

Link to post
Guest wendy larsen

At 13, sex is an experimental thing for everyone, and much more so than people admit. You were taken advantage of my an adult, who would have gone to prison for what happened. People like him count on reactions like yours to avoid being prosecuted. You were the victim, not the criminal. It is a shame you were abused and made to suffer. It is a good thing that you are now talking about it.

Share this post

Link to post
Guest CariadsCarrot

I'm so sorry that happened to you Lacey. What Wendy said is true.

I also want to let you know that the fact you now use the memory for pleasure doesn't make it any less of an abuse or make you in any way less innocent in it. You'd be surprised how common it is for abuse survivors.


Share this post

Link to post

Dear Lacey, Sorry for the pain caused by a brutal person. You were abused, and that is the short of it. You've made the best of it but it still obviously hurts you. Talk to a therapist if you haven't already done so. It helps to know ourselves better. Thanks for sharing and welcome to Laura's.

Hugs, Charlie

Share this post

Link to post
Guest WendyJean

I concur. This guy is an animal, so low that other prisoners in prisons have nothing but contempt for his type.

You are guilty of nothing, but he knew you would feel that way. He depended on it.

Please, do not beat yourself up. I know this advice is basically worthless, human nature being what it is, but it is still true.

It also sounds like you may have some post tramatic stress over it, which is a shame. PST is slowly becoming treatable, if it gets you too down look into getting help.

Share this post

Link to post

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Who's Online   5 Members, 0 Anonymous, 12 Guests (See full list)

    • Cbxshawn
    • Nora Kayte
    • Carolyn Marie
    • Laura Beth
    • Dev
  • Topics With Zero Replies

  • Posts

    • Nora Kayte
      I had my pellets reupped on Monday. At first I thought that was the problem (needing more estrogen in my system) because it seemed like I could not get one. But then I started getting -excited- and wallah. But the pain was less and went away quickly after I took care of it. Feels weird talking about this but if it may help someone else in the future then I’m ok. I have a blood test in 6 weeks to see if the Estrodiol and progesterone by itself will keep the T down or not. But so far without the spiro or bicalutamide. I don’t feel any different. Except that if I try I can keep it (erections) from happening if I don’t think about it. So all and all reupping my pellets and stopping the anti androgens seem to be helping. 
    • Laura Beth
      I've come to the realization that my journey to where I am at today started some 40 years ago, if not earlier. I started to cross dress before my teens and eventually got caught by my Mom. I stayed in the closet for many years with my parents being the only ones to know, they didn't support me at all. Looking back I have come to realize that I outed myself many times to various women who I happened to encounter in everyday life while out shopping. They were accepting of me and didn't draw any attention my way while I was shopping. One older lady I remember from Scotland made a point of helping me every time I was in the store to find whatever I was looking for with a huge smile on her face. This was way before I even thought about going out dressed female. Laura would emerge for awhile then would vanish within the closet for a time.   I often wonder how well did I do at hiding in the closet, I remember being teased while in high school about how I stood and walked. Was my fake facade not covering everything as I thought it was. In my twenties I was in the closet living male by day and as much as possible female at night within my bedroom. During the mid to later part I was in college and at night I would put on one of my female outfit to unwind in. As many know college life has its challenges to keep ones privacy, ones sneaking into each others rooms looking in the closets and drawers. Yes, I did have someone get into my room the one year and find my female clothes but there was no mention of it from anyone. I would remain in the closet for another 18 years before Laura came out and wouldn't be put back. I started to dress more female around the house and eventual to the point of going out every time as Laura.   So I say to the ones still searching and questioning, look to your past for some of the answers because they very well could be there. This is not a short journey we under take but one of many pitfalls and rewards to be each discovered along the way. I am sure others here can relate to what I have said about the hiding within the closet afraid to come out but have and seen how wonderful it is to be our true selves.We can not allow fear of the unknown to rule our lives for one day more because the future is brighter without it.    Laura Beth
    • ErinLeach
      Hi sweetie. Welcome to the forum. There are a lot of great people here, and really good advice to help you on your path. This path isn't easy by any means, but nothing great comes easy.   Erin
    • Gwen
      Welcome, Tali. I'm so glad you found the courage to say hello to TransPulse. I hope you find this a welcoming and informative place, and a safe place to just be yourself. I also have social anxiety and have found life my complicated with my transgender issues. But, I have found support here, and I'm fortunate to have a few people in my life who accept me. I hope you also find the support you want/need as you make your journey, which will provide happiness too. The happiness will come!!   Gwen
    • Charlize
      It sounds like you have a good plan for the future and are getting through the present difficulties with a grace that deserves praise.  I remember the humiliation of being called by my male name in crowded waiting rooms.  Those times were instrumental in getting me to make the necessary steps to change my legal status. HRT and living as yourself are certainly major steps along your journey as is finding a style that works well and makes you feel comfortable as yourself. Thanks for the update and happy birthday!   Hugs,   Charlize
    • Timber Wolf
      Good morning Everyone!🍳   Happy Birthday Alexastimo!🎂 Happy Birthday Laura Beth!🎂 Happy Birthday Trojan!🎂 Hope your day is very special!   Lots of love, Timber Wolf🐾
    • TessaOKC
        Hi Mary,   I have slightly more than 20 good trans female friends that I speak with on at least a weekly basis. I have never felt alone and if I really need someone to talk to there is always someone nearby. My friends situation is very different. Don't know what the stats are but there appear to be far less FTM than MTF humans out there. That is stating the friend situation only for him. Now, since he's attracted to cis females, the numbers diminish even further. No clue for how many cis women are looking for transmales  but the number seems to be like really really low. So, to me, online dating is a no brainer.  I've checked a few places and the suggestions on dating sites are not many.   Good for you doing the online dating thing. I as well think we should be up front about who we are and I also think it can be safe providing that common sense is used       I really appreciate your view,   Tess
    • TessaOKC
        Thanks Vicky. Some people like very much to be part of a couple, me being one of them. Good luck at your weddings!!!
    • MarcieMarie12
      Hi Tali, one thing that helped me was getting out of the house and meeting others. My family members all responded differently  to it. My nephews were pretty much a shrug. It took time for some to come to terms with it too.   Welcome to Transpulse!  hugs, Marcie
    • Jennifer W
      Hi Raya welcome! Nice to meet you!
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. alexastlmo
      (34 years old)
    2. Laura Beth
      Laura Beth
      (51 years old)
    3. Trojan
      (39 years old)
  • Upcoming Events

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
    • Total Posts
  • TransPulse Partners