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angels wings

24 more days :/

13 posts in this topic

Yes it's 24 more days before my partner starts treatment . I'm scared and sad I know she needs to do this to be happy for once in her life but I'm so scared . Scared of loosing my husband scared of my life changing so much . I'm normally a positive person but gee this journey has truely tested me . So many uncertainties so many ??????

What's harder and I can't seem to get my head around is the bad timing . Our anniversary is 2 days before it will never be the same this will be our last as I've known it . I can't ask to change the date because I know she has been counting the days down she is excited . I just have to some how ignore these feelings . How do u keep ur heart happy and ur spouses ? There is no real answer I have searched high and low and I know I just have to ignore my feelings and focous on her new life . Why why why why I know why because it is what it is and nothing can change that just have to follow my heart .

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You will never loose your husband. That person you fell in love with will still be there. Yes, they will look different. They will sound different. But the person you have been with this entire time will still be there. Transitioning is trying for any couple. But this is your partner's chance to finally be the person they've always been on the inside, finally reflected on the outside. I am nervous for transitioning myself, but my boyfriend and I remain excited for my new adventure. Nervous. Scared. But excited. I congratulate you for coming this far with your partner. I know it's frightening, but I can guarantee if you pull through it, your partner will be the most loyal companion and lover you have ever known. Do not think of your upcoming anniversary as the end to your relationship with your current husband as you know it, but the start of an amazing journey that will transform your partner into the person they've always been on the inside.

Good luck to you and follow your heart,

JohnV

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Thx John means alot I needed to read that thank u

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Keep the faith dearest, love sees us through. My thoughts with you both.

Hugs

Cindy -

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Angel,

Stay strong sweetie, I know it is hard to deal with all of this stuff...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours!

Love, Svenna

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You contribute so much here I can only wish you nothing but happiness. Of course, no one's life is like that trans or not. I can share that as I have gone through various trials in my life, including the beginning of this one, I have too often focused on doors that were closing, and as a result, missed many doors that were opening up. repeatedly in my life, what I thought would be bad turns out to be ok, and what I thought was good for me was mistaken...

Today I try to accept life as it is rather than as I think it "should" be... I believe my chances for happiness and contentment are greater if i follow this path. Maybe it can help you too?

Hugs

Michelle

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Thank you Cynthia love will see me through ((((hugs))))

Thank you Svenna I am strong just some days my wings feel tired and worn out today is a new day ((( hugs)))

Thank you Michelle most days I do see life as it is but some days this angel looks back . That's my new motto now never look back just keep lookin forward ((((hugs))))

I really appreciate my friends you all mean so much to me u kick my buttt gently and reverse me . Iam only human but I know I'm a strong person and because I love my partner so much I know we will get through this . I think I should read my own advice some days ;p well today is a new day I'm going to try something differnt each time these thoughts try to get in my mind. We will come through this :)

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AW, with the love you have for you partner, I know you can make it through. Everyone has hard days and the sun will set on this one and a new day will greet you tomorrow, and may it be full of promise.

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Dee Dee u are right the love I have will help us make it through . We love each other dearly . This journey is just hard some days but today is a new day :) thank you so much for ur kind words lovey ((((( hugs)))) hope u are doing well ?

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There was a time 2 years ago I looked at each special occasion as my last because I knew I would not see another. I was right. I have not seen another birthday or Thanksgiving or Christmas as I was then. What I did not foresee was how amazing the next year actually would turn out to be.

My daughter grieved as well because she felt that she was going to lose me. And once my journey started each special occasion brought a degree of remorse that she was losing her mother and would not see another birthday etc with her. She was right. she has not, but I recently heard her tell someone that it is now much better than it has ever been.

I realize that it isn't the same as an S/O though I have been her single parent all her life and she deeply hates her bio father. But I think the point is still valid that you cannot foresee what the changes will really be or what they will feel like. Next year rather than grieving you may well be celebrating. Living with a happy person rather than one suffering through gender issues is much, much better according to those closest to me anyway.

The other thing is to celebrate today and let tomorrow take care of itself. Because even without something like transition there are no guarantees that next year would have been the same. life just isn't like that. When we invest too much in the past or the future we tend top pay over and over for what can't be changed and miss the potential in now and today. Which is all we actually have.

You have been wonderful through all this. And by the way-your feelings are important and it is important that you share them so communication stays open. Even if it brings your partner down some. At least it is shared and that feels better than the sense that someone is not really with you or is holding back which can cast a bigger pall over joy than the expression of your feelings would in many cases. This road will get much, much harder if either of you starts denying their feelings or the validity of them for the other. Not saying you have to act on them which is entirely different but you need to communicate them.

Your love and keeping communication going will see you through. Who knows how bright the future may actually turn out to be

Hugs

Johnny

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That's makes alot of sense Johnny . :)

What ur daughter went through that u described is very very similar . I have to adopt that attitude that it won't be the same but it can be better as each special occasion comes up . I did not see it that way I'm going to do my all to try and do that it sounds alot more rewarding than looking at how it was . We do tend to forget today when we feel over whelmed I think it's only human but we have to move on. Communication is never a problem for me just my partner does not communicate alot and I need her too . Every time I bring something up she feels I'm putting her down but I have never put her down I love and respect her. Better days and better times ahead it's a new day . Thank you Johnny for writting this it has helped me (((((hugs)))))

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Hi Angel,

Please don't worry about the timing; the start of therapy is a long ways from the end of transition, an important step, and one that may take her attention for a bit, but also just one of many steps along the way.

For months at a time, it was hard for me to say a sentence without the word "transition" in it somewhere. It was as if the whole world had stopped and that was all that was happening. It drove my soulmate crazy - and, after a while, it finally sank in. There is more to life than that! So, encourage your mate to take time out, take part in, and enjoy the other fine things in life, (like her mate, of course)!

I wish you the best! I'll see if I can get my soulmate to reply to you too..

Love, Megan

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Thank you Megan Rose for your heartful thoughts . The weird thing is and u all may laugh but it's not her talking about transition she never brings it up it's me I'm the one to bring it up . She isn't driving me crazy lol I'm driving her crazy ;p

((((((hugs)))))

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