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Guest Andrew Parker

Fear and anxiety running my life

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Guest Andrew Parker

I have extreme social anxiety and it's starting to take over my life. I also have an extreme fear of the future. My solution to that is to live one day at a time. That's my motto. Unfortunately, that mindset tends to cause me to make bad decisions. When peer pressure comes along i just say screw it and do dumb teenager things. I've experimented with drugs, and I seem to know my limits, but I know it's bad and I don't want to get too caught up in it.

I'm also entering my senior year of high school, and I end up skipping a lot because of anxiety. I'm in danger of failing some classes or possibly having to drop out even though I'm smart. I have no idea what I want to do with my life, but I know I need to figure that out soon. That scares the hell out of me. LIFE scares the hell out of me.

I've always assumed I'd be dead before 30, if not earlier. I've been so secluded, the real world is a foreign concept to me.

I just don't know what the hell to do.

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Guest Robin Winter

Sounds a lot like my high school years, to be honest. I have a piece of advice for you, and maybe it's not addressing the points that are most important immediately, but it stands out to me because I have huge regrets. Don't rush into life after high school. Just, don't. You have lots of time. I felt rushed and I made a very bad decision, and now I'm so far in debt I'll never climb out, and I don't even work in the field I went into debt for, because I discovered that I hate it. You don't have to decide right away how you want to spend the rest of your life, and don't let anyone tell you any different. Work at a McJob for a few years if you have to until you figure it out, so that when you do discover where your passions lie, student loans are still an option for you.

As for social anxiety, I still have that problem, so I won't be much help I'm afraid =\

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Guest Jo-88

Shilo... our stories are so similar. Anyway Andrew I think she is giving good advice and it is the same advice I would give you. I didn't know what I wanted to do when I left for college, ended up bouncing around all over the place (Im at my 6th college, my first degree is in IT which I now hate with a passion) and racked up a huge amount of debt in the process, I wish I would have taken things slower... maybe only gotten an A.S. in something specific or just not have gone to college until way later. With the economy the way it is, that "mcjob" will probably serve you better than 4 years of college and the accompanying debt (at least until things improve)... just take things slow until you know for sure what you want to do. I read an article recently where they referred to our generation as "the postponed generation", I think that sums things up pretty well at this point.

As far as the social anxiety I know exactly what that is like too (if you want to know a bit about my struggles with it, read this thread http://www.lauras-playground.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=44828 ). Unfortunately I don't have much advice to give on the subject because it is something I still struggle with daily... the only thing I can really say is that your not alone, even if it feels like it is hard to connect with anyone, they are still people there for you. Ive also found professional help to be beneficiary on a number of fronts. I empathize with you on this, I know how bad it can make someone feel :(

Hope you start feeling better about things soon :)

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Guest Robin Winter

Shilo... our stories are so similar. Anyway Andrew I think she is giving good advice and it is the same advice I would give you. I didn't know what I wanted to do when I left for college, ended up bouncing around all over the place (Im at my 6th college, my first degree is in IT which I now hate with a passion) and racked up a huge amount of debt in the process, I wish I would have taken things slower... maybe only gotten an A.S. in something specific or just not have gone to college until way later. With the economy the way it is, that "mcjob" will probably serve you better than 4 years of college and the accompanying debt (at least until things improve)... just take things slow until you know for sure what you want to do. I read an article recently where they referred to our generation as "the postponed generation", I think that sums things up pretty well at this point.

As far as the social anxiety I know exactly what that is like too (if you want to know a bit about my struggles with it, read this thread http://www.lauras-pl...showtopic=44828 ). Unfortunately I don't have much advice to give on the subject because it is something I still struggle with daily... the only thing I can really say is that your not alone, even if it feels like it is hard to connect with anyone, they are still people there for you. Ive also found professional help to be beneficiary on a number of fronts. I empathize with you on this, I know how bad it can make someone feel :(

Hope you start feeling better about things soon :)

Our stories are more similar than you thought ;)

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Guest Elizabeth K

It's different when you are old and see the past I think where you are right now is probably something that I can comment on, but I really need to try to remember back on how scary the world was when I was 18. You see, now I have all this life experience to compare against - sigh, wisdom comes late I think.

But let me try.

Focus. Take one thing at a time. That is how I would advise you. You have dug a hole, school is slipping into being unmanageable and out of control so what to do? I think you know but do you understand it will take a great effort?. Focus EVERYTHING on climbing out of that hole. That hole is not as deep as you think. STOP missing school. Lose your friends for a while. Get that final run to the end full of top grades! - talk to your teachers AFTER you start improving and BEG them to drop the earlier bad grades. If your performance is remarkably better, they are likely to do that.

So that takes effort and do you have that discipline? I mean compared to your entire lifetime its a very short time to have to sacrifice to do this. Afterward, it will REALLY make you feel better about yourself. THEN you can face the future with confidence and we can discuss college and other options.

Lizzy

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Michelle 2010

Ok, maybe check this out...

There is a book called Dear Me quoting folks like Stephen King, J P Rowling and lots more writing letters to their younger 16 year old selves.. Google it up, maybe? Might inspire you...

Now... take it from this ol' girl, for real: To spend ten lines on an internet board saying that life is totally unmanageable, and without vision, and scary... and you know THE one one thing you reference that you say you have control over??? Your drug use.... I know, I know, you really do have control of it right? Even people who's lives are totally fine, and have control of Everything in their lives, lose control of their drug use eventually, and guess what??? They don't know its happening until it has them by the throat... Just sayin'...

Now, I really like that book... I hope you check it out and get inspired :)

Hugs

Michelle

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