Finding a Name, Your Experience and Perhaps Suggestions?

[Guest Kai Reddtail]

I have spent ages upon ages trying to find a male (or androgynous) name for myself. I have gone through tons of name websites, I have lists upon lists. I kept waiting for the one that jumped out at me, the one that made me go "Wow, that's me!"

I'm beginning to wonder if it doesn't work that way. Did anybody have that experience? Or did most of you who have a preferred name just pick one you liked and got used to being called that?

Regardless, I know that sometimes it is said people "look" like certain names. I've seen people put out pictures and ask people what they think they looked like, so I thought I would try it. Maybe somebody else knows a name that I'll like.

If it helps, names I've considered are:

Charlie

Lee

Adrian

Garrett

And names that have been suggested by others:

Noah

Andrew

There are pics in my gallery.

Either sharing your experiences with finding your name or suggestions would be great.

[Guest Luna Selene]

It's slightly serendipitous that you posted this...I just found my name today and am currently trying to change it on the site.

I don't know if it helps but here's my naming story.

Luna Selene...Two goddesses I admired, however they are two versions of the same concept; the moon. Didn't really feel it worked; it's not really me.

So I too played around with names in my head and the one I decided on is: Annabelle

It stemmed from "anne" which is what people have mistakenly called me in the past. (my actual name rhymes with it.)

I don't know if it works for you, but: Have you been mistakenly called a name of the opposite gender? Did you like the name? If so build off of it.

Also, i'd suggest paying close attention to nickname aspect of it. Try as you might, people will try to shorten your name as much as possible, (sometimes lengthen it.) so it's good to be one step ahead of you, if there are certain nicknames you don't like.

Good luck!!

-L.AB

[Guest Kallum]

It takes a while to find one that suits you.

It's a unique situation getting to name yourself.

Anyways, here is my naming story

Personally I wanted to keep my initials, so my base was that I wanted a name that started with K. In a way that was usefull because it narrowed down the list. (i did go through a stage where I tried other names but it just didnt feel right) Then I wanted to find a name that sounded good with my last name. Coinsidently I ended up choosing a name that has the same amount of sylabels as my birth name.

Some of the names I tried were:

Kasey,

Korey,

Kris,

Konner.

But none of them seemed to fit. I was just sitting around one day when I thought of the name i have now. I read a book once that had a character called Cal. I liked it. Then I tried to find what Cal was short for and I found Callum. Of course that was perfect because i could easily change the C for a K.

So Kallum was born. I just tried it out and it just seemed to stick. So that is the name I used to introduce myself to a new group of people that I was starting a class with. (side note: it took me a while to turn around to my new name, occasionally i would forget that it was me they were asking for).

One more thing, both my dad and brother have John as a middle name and I wanted to keep that because it connects me to my family.

So my full name is Kallum John ******.

I don't know what it is about the name that I have chosen, but now that I have it I couldn't even consider changing it!

It's my name

Good luck,

Kal

Edited June 8, 2012 by JJ
Last name edited out for safety reasons per T & C

[Guest Robin Winter]

I don't know if it works for you, but: Have you been mistakenly called a name of the opposite gender? Did you like the name? If so build off of it.

My name was frequently read as it's female form throughout my life, often leading to embarrassing moments. I despise the name now lol.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Is there a good, strong male family name in your lineage?

I took Elizabeth and I took Anne from my family names.

Lizzy

[Guest Annabelle Anders]

I don't know if it works for you, but: Have you been mistakenly called a name of the opposite gender? Did you like the name? If so build off of it.

My name was frequently read as it's female form throughout my life, often leading to embarrassing moments. I despise the name now lol.

Yeah, I can understand that. Before, the name Anne really irked me because I was thinking: UM, HELLO! MALE OVER HERE, STANDING DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF YOU. Why would you think my name is ANNE??

Now that've I let the gender binary drop from my life, I've lost a lot of the bitterness that came with it.

Have you tried looking into folklore and legend? You can find many great names, with meanings there...the only problem is a lot of them are VERY Folklore-y. I mean, who wouldn't want to be named Sigurd, or Freya, or Loki, or Thor? (Sorry, norse is just the first that comes to mind( DID YOU KNOW: Thor dressed as a woman and married a troll in order to get his hammer back... He went all out, Wedding gown, shoes, jewerly and all...and not a single Norse person had a problem with it.)) But then again, who would want to explain THAT to the everyday person?

Good luck!

[Guest Elizabeth K]

..and not a single Norse person had a problem with it.

Um Thor is really a big guy right? I mean if he was in a wedding dress and all... I doubt I would say anything except maybe 'nice shoes.'

GRIN

Lizzy

[Guest LauraJen]

Have you tried looking into folklore and legend? You can find many great names, with meanings there...the only problem is a lot of them are VERY Folklore-y. I mean, who wouldn't want to be named Sigurd, or Freya, or Loki, or Thor?

I know the original poster is FTM, but just for what it's worth, Freya is a legitimate female name and there are plenty of girls with the name. There are possibly even guys called Loki but that's stretching it a bit far I think!

But for the OP, I would say experimentation is key. The moderators here understand completely that people's names can change right up until when they officially register a new name, so it's never a problem, just say the word and one of the admins can do it quickly without any hassle. I've seen your photos - I should say I am much more clued up on female names, naturally (there's a baby names forum that I visit as a guest, as I've always had a bit of a fascination with names, but only ever go to the girls' section). However, I would say that perhaps Daniel or Adam might suit you? I would say that Adrian does too (one that you have considered before). Remember you can have a middle name too which can act as a nice compromise.

Names are hard so don't think you're the only one in a quandary about it - I myself am in a long battle with my own self as to whether to go with Laura or Lily as a first name!

[Guest GeorgeM]

I think you should try thinking of yourself with that name, and if it doesn't feel like it fits you, than move on.

I actually never had to really name myself, I just claimed it. When I was younger my Grandpa, who was kind of blind, use to call me "George" to annoy me when I'd come down for the summer. Before figuring myself out I would always complain to him about it... And then when I was looking for a name for myself and missing him I decided that "George" fit and from then on out, I've been George. For a while I wanted this really long silly name after it, but decided on keeping my first initial of my female name, T, and something close to my middle names, ida mae, and came up with George Terrance Adam (last name).

[Guest Risu]

Since this thread somehow got off on names from myth I really like the name Siegfried from the Ring of the Nibelung. Beautiful story... and also a well known Norse Myth.

And also, I really really like the name Garrett!! But someone close to me uses that name and so I suppose I'm slightly biased...

It took me a very long time to find a name that really just fit me... there was one name that had always been in the back of my mind, my current name, and I kept ignoring it because I thought too many other people used it, it's a common name and I want something more original but the name kept popping up in my mind and I really thought about it so I settled on giving it a shot.

Some advice someone here gave me when it comes to picking a name is to try it on for at least a month and see how you like it. Maybe write it on a sheet of paper and tape it to the back of your bedroom door or bathroom mirror, someplace you will see it a lot and think about how you feel every time you see it for at least a month. If you're still happy with the name after that then it's probably a good fit for you. Apparently this also works for Tattoos... I tried it out for my name and I can really say that it helped me. And when I finally told my friends my new name and they called me by it my heart just lit up and then melted. It was a wonderful feeling... especially the first time the guy I like said it...

Anyways, Finding a name that truly fits can be a long and difficult process and sometimes there are names we over look for one reason or another. It doesn't hurt to go back over some names you were thinking about but then decided against for one reason or another. All I can say is that when you find it you'll know. Right now I am still in the process of choosing a new middle and last name and I've had my new first name for over 6 months now I think.

One thing I noticed for me, my given name was (Bleh) Dale... which is a nice name... but it's also my father and my grandfather's name and that doesn't work for me... so even though it's a fairly androgynous name I decided to change it. The new name I found that finally fit me was also a 4 letter name, one syllable also- Jade. All the other names I was closely considering were also 4 letter names but the ones I didn't use were all two syllables like Tori and stuff. For me Jade just fits and sounds right. It reminds me enough of the name I grew up being called and I knew from the moment I actually gave it serious thought about using it that it was right for me.

I know how agonizing it can be when you really want to find your name but you can't... but as someone who has used both a male name and a female name given to me by family members, neither name I cared for nor truly approved of... it's worth the wait to find the one that's right for you. So keep up the search, try a few on for a bit and see how they make you feel.

Good luck with your search. Don't get discouraged and just keep your eyes and ears open for the one that fits.

*Hugs*

~Jade.

[gennee]

My name is shortened from Genevieve. One forum I was on had five other fooks with the same name so I created 'Gennee' (pronounced Jenny). I've always like the name Genevieve because I find some regality to it.

[Guest pockychaser]

I've done the scroll-through-tons-of-names bit, myself, and it really depends. Sometimes, a name that you'd otherwise pass over has a meaning that hits on something defining -you-. Other times, a really nice sounding name has either unfortunate associations or meanings, some that you're aware of (Jezebel, anyone?), others that will surprise you. In my experience, it takes a lot of trial and error before something fits. Eventually, you'll find one that just slots into place. Jade had some great advice on how to do that. ^^

Now, granted, I'm still looking for my own name, and my experience thusfar is in finding fantastic names in keeping with the settings my characters would be a part of (Roleplayer reporting in. :3). However, I use Behind the Name almost exclusively. All of them are real given names, of actual or mythological people (I ended up going with non-mythological names, natch), like Senka and Melantha. For now, at least, I've settled on Mel. It's the nickname of my favorite of the characters I've made, and it's short for a number of names I like (It's also fairly close to my given name). Anyway, that's my two paragraphs. Hope this helped!

~Mel

[Guest jennahtx]

For what it's worth, my name just sort of came to me--way back in the early '90s, probably a good 10 years before I even dreamed of hormones or transitioning. I just started thinking of myself as a "Jenna", though of course I never mentioned this to anyone. Then later, after I'd been on HRT for several years and knew I was never "going back" but only moving forward, I realized that I needed a new middle name also--now that was more of a challenge.

My original middle name was a sort of family name handed down from father to son, and while unusual, it was decidedly masculine sounding, so it had to go. But I wanted to at least keep the beginning letter, so that limited me to names starting with "m"---actually a good thing, because it narrowed down my choices. I looked up names, and "Marie" sounded good with my first name. I asked several online friends and they approved also. The rest is history!

So good luck to you, and don't worry--you will eventually find a name that you like, and when you do, you'll know it!

Hugs,

Jenna Marie

[Guest Melissa~]

I am a scientist. So I used scientific method. I do desire to blend in so why not have a ubiquitous name... Ala google most popular girls names circa 1977- Jeniffer nah... But number 2 Melissa I love!

[Guest Kai Reddtail]

Thanks for all the responses everyone! It helps me to hear how you all found your own names. I'm still hoping mine will make itself known soon. lol.