Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

We Know We'll be Safe Here - A beautiful UU story


Guest Mittens_kittens

Recommended Posts

Guest BreanneB

Great stroy. If all spouses where that brave and welcoming. I think that is the one biggest regret in all this. The loss of my wonderful then wife. Now we are still best friends, but she has already moved on :(. Me im stuck in a rut

Link to comment
Guest Lacey Lynne

Thank you for this marvelous story!

Know what? I'm within walking distance of a UU church now. I actually plan to go this Sunday. Why not, right?

Peace & Joy :friends: Lacey Lynne

Link to comment

I never had an understanding spouse but I do attend a UU church and it is so accepting.

After my first visit I knew that this was a place that I felt at home.

While acceptance does not require understanding, I feel that most of the members are attempting to if not actually understand to at least empathize - so refreshing as compared to all of the 'condemning messages' from so many churches.

Love ya,

Sally

Link to comment
Guest Mikkiapolis

I recently came out to everyone at my UU congregation. They were amazingly supportive. The senior minister even wrote an original "naming ceremony" to help recognize and honor my decision. She also suggested a support group of members who are helping both me and others by being there through this transition.

I present as female now 100% of the time there, and it feels like I'm in RLE (still months away for real).

Not sure if UU might be right for you? Find out for yourself with an independent opinion - take the Belief-O-Matic quiz!

Think you know it all already? Ok, here's a different quiz for you (I scored 73% - without using any reference materials).

Link to comment
Guest Mittens_kittens

Lacey,

I'm curious to hear if you got to visit the UU church and, if so, what you thought. The first time I visited, I left thinking, "Now that wasn't anything like any church I've ever been to before." But it got me intrigued, and I kept wandering back every now and then to see just what it was all about. That was about five years ago, and I'm a regular now. I had no idea that my son was TG when we started going, but their response to his coming out announcement several months ago proved to me that it was not an accident that we were there.

Mittens

Link to comment

Wonderful story. I've been considering a church and have always heardgood things about UU.

I love this line from the story: But I try to remember the biggest lesson I’ve learned, because it happened over and over. If I risk being vulnerable and honest, I will almost always be rewarded with kindness, respect, and even love. Truth is a powerful force for good.

I have experienced this time and time again in the last 18 months. A lifetime of fear of exposure replaced by acceptance by others and myself. Go figure... :)

Michelle

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...
  • Forum Moderator

A dear woman friend who goes to UU brought my wife and i a copy of that article the day she found out about me. I think it really helped my wife to accept me as me. She is a neibor and was the first to show up on the door with open arms.

What a great article in my life esp.

Hugs,

Charlie

Link to comment
Guest Mittens_kittens

Thanks, Megan, for letting me know. I'm thrilled to hear that Lacey has found a spiritual place where she feels welcome. I have no doubt that her vivacious and generous spirit is giving as much or more back to that UU fellowship as she is receiving.

Mittens

Link to comment

UU and its members are wonderful people. I didn't even think about it until after I did talk to them (thought I was doing it because they'd been paying my daughter to help with home renovation when she was still male in public) but the neighbors whom I told first were UU people. They told me right off I should come to their church because there was at least one transperson and the community was so accepting. And I find that true in general of UU. The husband of a friend of mine had found a great deal of support there as a teenager when his dad divorced his mother because the dad finally came to terms with being gay, which in the 80's was probably pretty darn progressive, even in New Jersey.

I have to put in a plug for Episcopalian also. It's a bit more geographic (depends on the diocese and the particular parish) but I was so proud of them this summer when they voted for total inclusion for trans people. I haven't gone to church much in quite a while, but I told my priest about my brand-new daughter and she just listened and then hugged me. And said there was a kid in their youth group. And someone else said there was an adult as well. So I guess I'd better get myself back to church.

Link to comment

Thank you for sharing such a warm welcoming story. Two of my best friends attend a UU church and when I told them that I was in transition. They were so accepting that it made me glad that I considered them such close personal friends.

I'm considering joining the Unitarian Church here in Columbia because I haven't felt complete acceptance in my current church for Transgendered parishioners. I may be wrong, but thats been my perception. Time will tell. Kathryn

Link to comment
  • 6 months later...
Guest DearFountain

I know this thread is old but I wanted to add my recommendation for the UU congregation. I started going to one recently and it has been so welcoming and everyone is very kind and open. My particular congregation has a lot of activities like meditation classes, which I tend to go to more than the services, book clubs, poetry readings, and hiking trips. UU's are dedicated to social justice and are not only allies but advocates; they march at Pride and support legislation for the community.

I had not gone to church for years because I could never get through a service without taking offense or feeling cognitive dissonance. Now I feel comfortable with a congregation and the services make me feel good all day instead of conflicted. I don't typically talk about or recommend religion but if you are looking for a kind, welcoming, spiritual fellowship experience without the conflict and pressure of other churches, check them out.

Also: lovely story! I will maybe print it out and bring it to the pastor, I think she would appreciate it.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   7 Members, 0 Anonymous, 127 Guests (See full list)

    • Jet McCartney
    • Chloe Summer
    • Adrianna Danielle
    • Timi
    • Maddee
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • MaeBe
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.3k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,024
    • Most Online
      8,356

    JamesyGreen
    Newest Member
    JamesyGreen
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Dillon
      Dillon
    2. Kaylee888
      Kaylee888
    3. lily100
      lily100
      (39 years old)
    4. Luce
      Luce
      (44 years old)
    5. Luke.S
      Luke.S
  • Posts

    • MaeBe
      Two words(?): Project 2025   Please provide links to the "political calculus" referred to, I'd be interested to know where this is coming from. It seems odd that anyone would be advocating to vote in a President that has stated that he will try to use the federal government to go after LGBTQ+ people because voting back Biden, that is not doing that, might cause some state legislatures to put forth more discriminatory laws.   LGBTQ+ people are not safe in a MAGA future.
    • Ashley0616
      It's awesome that you have had such a great friend in your life! I could only imagine what losing felt like to you. It's neat that you worked for the airlines. Did you take advantage of the space availability fights? My dad worked for Northwest and always flew every single summer except one where we drove from north Mississippi to Phoenix, AZ. My parents agreed to never do that again lol. 
    • Ashley0616
      The trans community won't be good under Trump at all. Biden is the one who has done more for the trans community than any other presidents. Last time Trump was in office he was at an LGBTQ rally and his support went quickly away from us because the majority of the voters are anti trans. He is going to get rid of our rights and also come after the rest of LGBTQ.  I don't know where you heard we would be better under Trump.    Trump unveils sweeping attack on trans rights ahead of 2024 (axios.com)   Trump Promises to Go After Trans People if Re-Elected (vice.com)   Trump promises to ban transgender women from sports if re-elected (nbcnews.com)
    • Sally Stone
      Post 7 “The Pittsburgh Years” When I retired from the Army, we moved to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania because I had been hired by US Airways to work in their flight training department.  The transition to civilian life was a bit of an adjustment, but I never really looked back.  At the same time, I was excited at the prospect of having more Sally time. But with work and two teenage boys in the house, getting to be Sally was a challenge.    The biggest issue in this regard were my sons, as they didn’t know about my feminine side.  My wife and I discussed, in great detail, whether or not to tell them.  If they had known about Sally, it would have been much easier to actually be Sally when I wanted to.  But I still didn’t know exactly where my transgender journey was going to take me, and this uncertainty was the primary reason my wife and I decided it wasn’t the right time to tell them about Sally.  Except for the convenience it would afford me, we didn’t think it was fair to burdened them with such a sensitive family secret if it wasn’t absolutely necessary.  If at some point things changed and it looked like I might be heading towards transition, my wife and I agreed we would revisit our decision.   Despite having to tiptoe around the boys I was able, with my wife often running interference for me, to significantly increase my girl time.  The nature of my variable work schedule meant that often days off occurred during the week when the boys were in school, and on those days, I took full advantage of the time.  Additionally, I had discovered a new trans friend through a local support group, and my wife, ever and always accommodating, ensured I had time for outings with my new friend.    Willa, my new friend, quickly became my best friend, and after only a short time, she and my wife became quite close as well.  With Willa’s help, I would soon discover that Pittsburgh was a very trans friendly city.  Together, she and I made the town our own.  We attended the theater, the symphony, we went out to dinner regularly, and I think we visited every museum in the city.  With Willa’s support and friendship, I was actually becoming quite the girl about town.    Willa and I had a lot in common.  We loved to shop, we had similar feminine styles, and we had similar views and feelings about being trans.  In fact, our frequent and deep discussions about transgender issues helped me begin to understand my transgender nature.  Having Willa as a springboard for all topics transgender, was probably as effective as regularly visiting a therapist.  I would never discount anyone’s desire to seek professional help, but having an unbiased confidant, can also be an effective method for self-discovery.    Exploring the city as Sally and spending time with Willa was instrumental in helping me understand my transgender nature, and would begin shaping my transgender objective.  My feelings about the kind of girl I was and where I wanted to go began to solidify.  Being out and socializing as Sally in a big city like Pittsburgh, taught me I could express my femininity without issue.  I honestly felt confident I could live my life as a woman; however, remaining completely objective, I just couldn’t see giving up the life I’d built as a man.   At that time, I was being heavily influenced by the concept of the gender binary, which had me thinking I had to choose between being a man or being a woman.  It was Willa who reminded me there were no rules requiring gender identity to be binary.  During one of our deep discussions, she posited the idea of enjoying both genders, something she was doing, and a concept that made a lot of sense to me.  I was already living the life of a part-time woman, so I simply started paying more attention to how that was making me feel.    One characteristic that was dominating my feminine self-expression (and it continues to this day) was that when I was Sally, I was “all in.”  When I became Sally, it was such a complete transformation that I truly felt like a woman.  The feeling was powerful, and if I had to describe it another way, I’d say it was akin to an actor, so into the part, they actually become the character they are portraying.  That was me, and I discovered that this level of depth was extremely fulfilling, and that feeling tended to last long after transitioning back to my male persona.  Part-time womanhood it seemed, was actually working for me.    Eventually, a job change forced me to move away from Pittsburgh, but the enlightenment I experienced while living there has shaped the nature of my bi-gender personality to this day.  Even after leaving, Willa and I remained the best of friends.  We had many more adventures, some of which I will detail in later posts.  Sadly, Willa passed away two-years ago after contracting a prolonged illness.  Her loss was hard to take and I miss her dearly.  However, I have so many fond memories of our times together, and because her support helped shape me, she lives on in my heart.   Hugs,   Sally
    • missyjo
      thank you dear. I'm constantly working at adjusting n writing off other people's judgment or input.   thank you n good luck
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Them's fighting words, but I intend to discuss this respectfully, calmly and so forth, in accordance with the forum rules.   Considering the one issue below in isolation:   There is a political calculus that trans folk may be better off under Trump than under Biden.  The argument goes that Biden has created such a backlash by moving so far to the left that red states, in particular, are reacting with a swarm of laws that negatively impact trans folk.  Some of his actions strike many people as clumsily forcing unwanted regulation on people, and some of his appointments, such as the luggage stealing bigender individual, have not helped advance trans folk but rather the reverse.  In a second term Biden would make things worse for trans folk because of the backlash and resentment his policies would create.    Trump likely would have negative impacts to trans folk, as he did in his first term with respect to the military, so it is a set of tradeoffs as to which is worse.   Thoughts?
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Can you dress androgynously? 
    • Ashley0616
    • Abigail Genevieve
      There are trans folk who pass better than some cis people.  People usually aren't on the lookout for those who are cross dressed.  As long as there are no multiple screaming signals and you don't draw attention to yourself you can probably pass better than you think. For example, if you walk into a bank in heels, however, and you DON'T know how to walk in heels, you will attract the attention of a security guard, especially if you are acting nervous. If you wear flats and just go to the bank and do your business like anyone else, it is likely no one will notice, except that there was a customer who was taller than most women are, but then there are tall women, and tall, broad shouldered woman.  I made the mistake years ago of thinking I had outed such, and knew she was a he.  Later I learned she had five kids, and her husband was bigger than she was.  Ooops.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I don't know much about CNAs.  They report to an RN, right?  Can you somehow bring this up to the RN in a way that does not get your CNA mad at you? I'm not saying you should, but maybe that is a good course of action.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      This is the thing.  A month ago tomorrow is when I stopped wearing m clothing.  Today I feel great.  I do not have dysphoria when I am dressed as and I move as a woman.  I was just thinking about that because I was wondering if I would or will get hit with a wave of "you don't have dysphoria so you might as well dress like a guy. Less hassle with your wife."  Not that she is aware, to my knowledge, that these androgynous clothes are women's.  No desire to "flip", no feeling of need to, just happy identifying as female.  Speaking, in my deep guy voice, with female voice patterns, doing the feminine gestures that come naturally and without exaggeration and at peace.
    • Birdie
      Yes, my brother was born lactating due to absorbing hormones from my mum.    Of course she isn't a nurse, she is a CNA. She should however still have general medical knowledge.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I agree.  But sometimes unethical conduct must still be legal, because the cure would be worse than the disease.  One problem we have today with the internet is the trolls can gang up on someone and destroy them - we see the with school bullying as well.   He was in the Southern Baptist Convention, and maybe he should have moved his church over to say the American Baptists, who might have been able to help him. A Southern Baptist pastor is king in his church, peerless, which means he could not have gone for help in his church.  And he could not have gone for help from any other pastor in the SBC because they likely affirm the SBC statements on these matters.  I think he was stuck.    I read this when it came out in the news.  Very sad situation.  
    • Carolyn Marie
      One organization that I know of that is dedicated to assisting LGBT seniors is SAGE.  They advocate for, and have services for, all LGBT folks, not just trans folk.  You can find their website Here.  I am not sure what, if anything, they have in terms of financial assistance.  I'll let you know if I find anything else.   Carolyn Marie
    • Davie
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...