Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Guest apostate79

5 lies I told myself before deciding to transition...

Recommended Posts

Guest apostate79

I came across this video a while ago and I found myself able to relate to a lot of what she says.

Share this post


Link to post
Carolyn Marie

This is a very good video, hon. Thank you for posting it. Those five questions come up again and again in the forums, and its nice to have them explored clearly by someone who has been there.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

Share this post


Link to post
Guest SonadoraXVX

Best post ever, into the typical questions a transgender or transsexual person has. It certainly educated me some.

Kudos,

Lucia

Share this post


Link to post
Drea

Those five questions come up again and again in the forums, and its nice to have them explored clearly by someone who has been there.

It seems to me like typical self justification to explain away concerns. That it is far from being from someone who has been there but more from someone in the stage of searching and justifying.

A perfectly typical example of how trans folk covince themselves what they are doing using information from other folks who haven't really be there.

Share this post


Link to post
Guest Melissa~

I would say that's a fantastic video, and I have to say I have muddled my way through every one of those questions over time. Some have taken me many years to answer.I only got real clarification on one through my therapist probably back in session two or three.

Share this post


Link to post
Guest Jo-88

excellent video... in fact that list should be put in text and stickied. This is good stuff, those are definitely some questions I had... no doubt about it

Share this post


Link to post
Guest Jo-88

Those five questions come up again and again in the forums, and its nice to have them explored clearly by someone who has been there.

It seems to me like typical self justification to explain away concerns. That it is far from being from someone who has been there but more from someone in the stage of searching and justifying.

A perfectly typical example of how trans folk covince themselves what they are doing using information from other folks who haven't really be there.

I am sure these questions come up a lot in GT sessions as well (they did in mine, except for the sexual orientation thing was never an issue and I was still diagnosed with GID). Of course they are not true for everyone but obviously a lot of us have these fears in common.

Share this post


Link to post
Guest Emma P

I am able to relate to a few of those thoughts myself, very nice video. Especially 2 of them.

I havent always felt like a transexual I started to feel that I maybe was around 25-26. And I like women, sure there are a few guys that feel sexually attracted to

but mostly I like women.

Share this post


Link to post
Guest KimberlyF

I agree with some of what she's said, but it is a very dangerous video.

Two of her thoughts when put together are a bad combo.

1) Of course only an individual can tell if they're Trans BUT in her opinion, if you are thinking about it, you are.

2) If you are, you owe it to yourself to try transitioning.

Therefore without actually saying it, she believes if you think you are, you prob should give transitioning a try. Why the heck not?

Am I the only one who could see things going the wrong way?

Share this post


Link to post
Carolyn Marie

Therefore without actually saying it, she believes if you think you are, you prob should give transitioning a try. Why the heck not?

Am I the only one who could see things going the wrong way?

Yes, it can be interpreted that way, but people will often interpret things in a way that validates their own beliefs. She could have been more clear about the appropriate path to take, and the inherent dangers of HRT, but given the nature of the video, I still think it serves a good purpose. There are plenty of other vids that mention therapy and the dangers of HRT. Her video wasn't meant to be all-inclusive.

Carolyn Marie

Share this post


Link to post
Guest Melissa~

Her video isn't medical or official advice. Nevertheless her musings cover some of thoughts I have dealt with from my former OTR experience( because of my limited official eduction at the time. OTR was the only way to make 45k a year at 21yo.) The career path from OTR to my current government/operations employment.

I had a difficult time wrapping my head around whether that was feminine. I am in the end the only woman in my department. My building has dual bathrooms, I set up my locker in the ladies room from day one, that was never a problem.

My therapist looked at me like I was daft for futzing over my past jobs.

Share this post


Link to post
Guest KimberlyF

It's not just what she doesn't say, but what she does.

She starts the video saying others will say "Only you can know. Nobody can tell you. And that's certainly true to a certain extent..." You'll know to a 'certain extent', but she'll give you life advice w/out knowing a single thing about your individual case. Her advice is universal.

And what a vague vid. If you just started having these feelings, it's ok! What feelings? Maybe the feelings of a CD who gets turned on wearing women's clothes, acts masculine most of the time and is attracted to women, but is just confused? They meet 1-4 of her questions and so what does 5 tell them? Transition!!! You owe it to yourself, CD! What if there isn't a Therapist in the area, but now they have this sense of fear and urgency? What kind of risky behavior do you think they might engage in? And not just from this vid but from a dozen like it and a 1000 posts.

Again, you could be CD and have some of the same questions, but this expert has stated that most likely if you wonder if you could be TS, you are TS. Get to transitioning! And if you get swept up in the moment like some who have regrets like the woman who posted on the post-op board, who's fault is it? It isn't the community's because they do not push transition!

A short vid she could have made...if you have questions, or are depressed, find a professional you can talk to.

Share this post


Link to post
Drea

A short vid she could have made...if you have questions, or are depressed, find a professional you can talk to.

I disagree. I am sure she believes this truely for herself and she is of course free to express her beliefs. This is no different than many other examples on a daily basis of self justification and rationalization. It means nothing other than how she has convinced herself.

I normally wouldn't bother commenting on such as it is so much the norm, but with some discussions in other topics about evolution in the community and the rather short memory, to me this provided a perfect example. Not just the video, but the way it automatically is accepted as valid justification.

Take someone who is CD that fantasizes about being woman full time. Such person finds a rationale to explain away all the things that would cause questions about them being transsexual, and then this person makes a blog, posts videos and such describing their experiences and talking about how great it has been since they decided to "transition". Other CD oriented folks see it and see it applies to them, hear how great "transition" is, starts to think about it for themselves and if they do, they start parroting the same justifications. It doesn't matter that the first person, hadn't actually finished transitioning or not, it is accepted. Next you know, the types of experiences CD have and feel become accepted basis for "transitioning". Now I don't know that there is anything necessarily bad about CD who "transition".

The vid is yet another example of how things have gotten into this "transition or not transition" contextual framework. But again that is so commonplace it is hardly worth noting. I do wonder where are all the people seeking treatment have gone? Is it now reduced to just some lifestyle decision?

I am sure these questions come up a lot in GT sessions as well (they did in mine, except for the sexual orientation thing was never an issue and I was still diagnosed with GID). Of course they are not true for everyone but obviously a lot of us have these fears in common.

I have no doubt at all such questions come up and again sure it doesn't prevent diagnosis. What is value is discussion about such in therapy and it is always best done when one can express what they feel abstractly rather than all this outside information.

At a meeting once I remember an instance where someone was asked a question and was struggling for an answer when someone else jumped in and said "maybe she just feels blah blah blah". The person immediatly grasped on that lifeline. The point is that the person didn't know and how they answered for themself would have provided some insight, but having been furnished an answer from a third person, her parroting the furnished answer it was impossible to find out what she was going to say for herself.

Share this post


Link to post
Guest

I can't get it to play correctly after trying to listen to it in bits until it finally came to the end. Pressed play again and it did the same thing. Anyone want to share what the five things were? Jody

Share this post


Link to post
Cyndee

Oh no I watched the video, and I drank the water......

I tried it and I liked it, and it seemed to feed on it's self....therefore It must be for me.

I owed it to myself to at least try, just like the video says, I ended my denial, oh no, now what, I'm a woman, and I really did need to change my sex after all (almost complete)

Seemed like a self fulfilling prophecy :)

Hindsight is so perfect now....

Share this post


Link to post
Guest

Cyndi you pulled this rabbit out of your hat on the day before I leave for surgery!

Amazing the clip Plays fine on my dumb blonde app smart phone, the last day I can ever question this and turn back? What a GodShot! Sound the alarm!!!

OK I'm cancelling the flight and taking the cash to by a manly truck or maybe an old Harley!...

... Oh HELL NO!!! LOL! I'm taking this ride to the end of my life however long or short. The one thing I will actually finish and never loose interest in. I have found a new freedom and a new happiness, I will sing it from the heavens, loud and strong! The prices I pay are far above rubies, yet more precious than gold! My joy will continue to flow if for nothing more than to whizz people off! Not really, I'm not vindictive like that. Giggle.

It's really not all that cut and dried. I am still on my journey, I will still, question, learn and grow. Some male in me will still filter back in my life, I can peacefully allow that to happen.

My summation is like my favorite line in the movie TransAmerica, " It's like someone put you in a blender, you're still the same, but you just got rid of all the boy pult!" EUREKA! That's me!!!

Thank you Cyndi I love you, your timing is fabulously perfect! Well I'm off to the airport to do my twenty four hour check-in. This will be a wild weekend on the vacation of my lifetime! Hug. JodyAnn

(Now about that Harley,,, make mine a Chrome, pink and grey Sportster! Giggle.)

Share this post


Link to post
VickySGV

My heavens, this was originally posted two weeks before I got the fateful phone call telling me that my surgery date had been advanced three months, and would be just 9 weeks in my future then. Some of us I guess can live on the edge, and even jump off it without being pushed as far as transition goes. I do not see where I took part in this conversation then, how did I miss it?

Share this post


Link to post
Guest Raya

I thought the video was great advice, and still relevant. Also timely, tomorrow I finally get my endo appt. Thanks Cyndi.

Jody, safe travels and a speedy recovery to ya.

Share this post


Link to post
Guest

I thought the video was great advice, and still relevant. Also timely, tomorrow I finally get my endo appt. Thanks Cyndi.

Jody, safe travels and a speedy recovery to ya.

Thanks Kiddo! Boarding passes in hand! When I'm done, I will do cartwheels and the splits! Well... After I heal up. Giggle. Hug. JodyAnn

I thought the video was great advice, and still relevant. Also timely, tomorrow I finally get my endo appt. Thanks Cyndi.

Jody, safe travels and a speedy recovery to ya.

Thanks Kiddo! Boarding passes in hand! When I'm done, I will do cartwheels and the splits! Well... After I heal up. Giggle. Hug. JodyAnn

Share this post


Link to post
Mia

Wow. Quite a bit of what she mentioned, I've thought about before. This video really helped me. Thank you~

Share this post


Link to post

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Who's Online   1 Member, 0 Anonymous, 147 Guests (See full list)

    • Janeshannon
  • Topics With Zero Replies

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      68,402
    • Total Posts
      618,914
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      5,374
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Avery Ann
    Newest Member
    Avery Ann
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Raider901234
      Raider901234
      (44 years old)
  • Posts

    • Janeshannon
      Susan, you look smashing! Congratulations. 
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.kmbc.com/article/kansas-city-police-investigate-possible-murder-at-vacant-home/28182279   Not much info in this article.  I'll update it tomorrow.     Carolyn Marie
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.northcountrypublicradio.org/news/story/38975/20190625/vermont-insurers-can-t-deny-care-for-transgender-youth   Carolyn Marie
    • Ellora
      Happy Birthday! 💜
    • Ellora
      HAppy belated birthday! 💜
    • BerndB
      Thank you, I just think, that it does get to me, to have been going forward and backward the last two years. And then having a consultant, which is not very sensitive and not very forthcoming with information. Anyway, it is good to speak about it and getting it off my chest.
    • VickySGV
      Good going girl!!   For some of them it is following the herd of ants and not intentional meanness to you for others, their concepts of "reality" need to grow up, but for now you have done what was really left to do.
    • Ellora
      Go with your bad self! Woohoo! 🤗 Thats great that you had the strength and courage to rid the negative people from your life. No time for that nonsense. Very Happy for you! 💜
    • VickySGV
      Thank you for the additional info there, it does help to know what is going on.  My Endocrinologist explained one thing to me that may help a tiny bit.  It is not the levels in your blood that determine effectiveness.  Our bodies have receptor cells for the hormones that they need to pass through in order to work.  In my case, I did have constantly low doses and still they did a satisfactory, but not phenomenal job of bringing me to where I most likely  would have been if they had started at age 11 instead of age 60.  It did take me nearly 4 years to max out in most ways and longer in a couple of others.
    • BerndB
      Hi, looks like I've got a bit more explaining to do. In Scotland you see a specific clinic for transgender problems, but your local GP has to then write out the prescription orders, once the clinic got in contact with them. I had problems with the local GP and also there was a problem with the general supply of the prescription on and of for about  a year. The supply is now steady and I found eventually a surgery, which is prepared to write out the prescription, but still see the consultant from the transgender clinic. He did prescribe the various dosages. This is not something I have decided to do on my own. Sorry, if I came across wrongly there.
    • Raven1981
      Just want to share that today I had to do the hardest thing and that I had to get rid of 2 old friends off my social media and block there phone numbers.   These were friends that I grew up with since I was little and when I came out, they said that they were alright with me and that they support me.  But then I found out that they were posting hateful Trans things on social media, one of my friends told me that I will never be a real woman.  Both of my old friends I am finding out were actually hating and discrimating against the LGBTQ community.  So I deleted them from all my social media, blocked their numbers and told myself, that I don't need to be around this type of hate.  I am happy and confident to finally be me and I don't need these type of people in my life who are hurtful.   So I am feeing myself from negative people.
    • Jani
      Hi BerndB.  I think your doctor may have been a bit harsh there with that admonishment.   It seems obvious to me your levels are not consistent with you're dosages but I am not a doctor.  I assume being in the UK you are under care of the NHS.  Is there a better way to ensure a steady supply?  Is it a local issue or country wide problem?   I don't know anything about T methods of delivery so you should discuss this with your doctor or another medical professional.   Jani 
    • VickySGV
      Welcome to the Forums, I hope we can give you some direction here.   How are you getting your levels checked if the doctor is not ordering the tests and evaluating them as they are done?  If the doctor is evaluating the results and sees no problem, then there is not much to be done.  Trying the "various dosages" (which we cannot discuss on these forums) without the doctor's approving the change or monitoring it over a long period of time is very hazardous and will create some strange effects that are not going to be fun.  The fact that you have an unreliable source of the drug may indicate that another more certainly supplied medication is what is needed here so you do not get peaks and valleys.  You are looking at 3 to six years for full physical maturity of the HRT effects comes on and in that period things go fast and slow just as is.  By all means get a second doctor to review and consult with your doctor but do not become that consulting doctor by wishing. 
    • Charlize
      I have severe coronary artery disease and could never consider anything other than topical E.  Shots or pills would be risky at best.  It took a long time before Dr.  McGinn in consultation with my cardiologist worked out a plan for me.  They would never allow the other methods of using E as they are much more likely to have serious side effects including clotting which would be fatal for me.  Saying that injections are safest is totally incorrect!   I am not an MD and neither are other member here so please remember to speak to your doctor who knows your medical issues.  There are many false thoughts out there which is why we don't allow members to speak of dosages here.  What may work for one may cause terrible damage or death to another.  This site was started by a woman who suffered terrible damage but fortunately survived. If the pro and cons of various delivery devises continues to be discussed here this thread may be removed.   Hugs,   Charlize
    • Charlize
      Welcome Tammy Anne.  I think you will find you are not alone.  Anyone who tells you they don't live with at least occasional doubts is probably less than honest.   The trick for me was to find self acceptance.     Hugs,   Charlize
  • Upcoming Events

×
×
  • Create New...