Will They Change The Gender Marker Back?

[Guest WastelandBoat]

Sorry if this is in the wrong area....I'm just fretting and have a question.

Okay this was brought up on my other entry. I know many folks who have moved stated after a while once they are passing, right? Again at the moment; only my drivers license says I'm male. I'm passing. I haven't had surgery. So it can't be changed on my BC, yet.

My question is this; when I move to another state and get a new drivers license. Will they change the gender marker back to "f" on my ID because their rules are different than Maryland's? I won't be showing them my BC, what I worry again is if -they- can check and see if the gender marker on my Maryland drivers license matches whats with social security, and ss still has me listed as "f". Just oh god.

Sorry for asking so many questions lately. Dealing with crippling anxeity :C. I just want to start over with no drama. Its been following me everywhere in my home state, like a constant reminder. I can't afford surgery at the time being. I don't want to be denied a job because of that pesky, stupid, letter.

I just don't know what to do. I've been fighting suicidal thoughs like crazy. This whole idea of moving to Florida and starting over and my support down there has literally kept me alive. I mean, I won't kill myself. I have too much faith and good hope to do that. But it's driving me nuts. I'd rather know NOW than face it all alone and broke in Florida when I have to change my licence after 6 months of living there.

[Guest (Lightsider)]

WastelandBoat, I am not sure what will happen but I wanted to take the time and commend you on your strength to not take your own life. I hope you continue to be strong despite the challenges you face. Hang in there. I will dig around and see if I can get some one to answer this post of yours with accurate knowledge. Hugs.

[Guest Robin Winter]

I suspect you're going to be disappointed with the answer. When you said Florida, it jogged my memory of another post.

http://www.lauras-playground.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=50877&hl=

[Guest Megan_Lynn]

I suspect you're going to be disappointed with the answer. When you said Florida, it jogged my memory of another post.

http://www.lauras-pl...topic=50877&hl=

But the reason the person in your post link was having a issue was because they at one time had a Florida issued drivers license with the M on it. They had left Florida and went to Washington lived there changed over to the F but upon returning to Florida to live again Florida wants the original M put back on. Also Florida had told her that they had to do this as it would invalidate there marriage to there wife if they keep the F. because Florida does not allow same sex marriages. In this case I do believe would be an entirely different situation and he should not have the same problems keep his M..

[Guest WastelandBoat]

Nichole,

Thank you. I was making something to eat and nerviously walking back and forthing, thinking about all of this. And had to laugh sadly at myself. I've been through so much to give up. And others that inspired me went through so much more. It means alot.

Shilo,

That's... awful what happened to her. God. I don't have any history or records in Florida, though, no one knows me as living in that state at the DMV. So if its a DL swap rather than renewing an old 15 year state one. Maybe?

This here:

"If this was my first FL license things would, hypothetically, be different, since I wouldn't have an established driving record here to modify. I could have surrendered my WA license, the info in it would have matched the information with SSA, a new drivers license file would be established, and I'd be set."

I have no driving history in Florida.. and judging from the others' comments I should be set.

Megan,

Yeah.. Different situation, awful as it may be

I just am kind of dying for a soild answer. Because my boss, bless his soul. Is working his tail off to find a way to transfer me down there to another store with NO record of my old name and my assigend gender at birth. (I make a pretty okay wage at the chain storm I'm at and the health insurance pays for my bloodwork and visits, not the T though) He wants me to have a clean pass over like everyone else. "Its no ones business. No one needs to know (at our florida sister stores)." he said about filing my docmuments.

[Guest Robin Winter]

You might be right, but I assumed they would check either Social Security or Birth Certificate in this case because there isn't an existing record, in which case they would still find a discrepency and likely be difficult about it. If they will take the Maryland license as the only form of ID then yeah, he'll probably be fine, I've just never known any branch of government to be that relaxed.

[Charlize]

I wish you were coming to NJ. As i understand it all i have to do here is get the form and check the spot where it says sex change and poof m to f or f to m. I'd like it if the name was as easy but that is harder. Haven't done either because of the same sex marriage issue.

Hugs,

Charlie

[Guest WastelandBoat]

On the FtM livejournal community someone just suggested I get a passport to use instead of a BC, since you don't need surgery to mark the "M" on it. I was going to call the DMV down there Monday to see what they need in order to swap DLs. I do have a SS card with my new name on it. But I don't know if the card counts as a valid form of ID. But still, stressing wondering if they can check and see if the gender marker with SS matches the DL.

Thanks everyone for the help.

[Guest (Lightsider)]

This ticks me off that any state has this kind of power to disrupt some ones life not to mention this realID garbage. Some states will not even allow individuals to revise a birth certificate so if you were unlucky enough to be born in on one of those backward states...ugg.

Wasteland I think you have a good chance of getting through their red tape. Please keep us up to date on how it goes for you.

[Guest WastelandBoat]

Nicole, Yeah it ticks me off too. I know some changes were made recently for the GLBT community. But things are still rough.

In Maryland to get the gender marker changed I need SRS, and again, while I would love to have my chest taken care of now. Its just really not possible. I mean I could techinally, get a loan, take leave from work. But its a whole mess I'm not really wanting to sort through. But I suppose I'm blessed enough to have been born in Maryland.

My plan as it stands I am gonna have to ask my medical doctor for a letter stating the "approved language" and that will suffice for getting a 10 year male passport. Get the new B.C. with my new name on it, then file for a passport. And.. play the waiting game.

Just sorta, clinging to my faith and spirit-guide through all of this. My friends too. But its just. Stress. I'll be beyond crushed if this falls through. It will ruin my life, and I can't go back, I could never go back. I'm beyond the point of no return.

[Guest WastelandBoat]

Updating this for other men and women who may move down here from another state like I did.

So it happened, weeks of stress and crazy and a transfer I didn't think would happen and a manager who tied up all loss ends and lots of sleepless nights.... And here I am, in Florida, in my own apartment,nobdoy but my friends know, a new life, a new start, it finally happened. I keep waiting for the ball to drop, and I thought it would when I went to get my newdrivers license today.. worrying that the gender marker would be switched back to "F".

But they kept it "M". This is what I needed/what happened.

NOTE: I HAVE NEVER HAD ONE IN THE STATE OF FLORIDA BEFORE.

Got my drivers license for Florida. All I had to do was.. give them my kidney, my right arm, left leg, brother's body....

Social Security Card

Original copy of my Birth Certificate (or Passport, I would have done this if my moving process had been slower.)

Addressed to me Brighthouse (internet) bill

Addressed to me Geico letter*

Oh and my old id

* I had information for renters insurance AND car, but since they're BOTH with Geico - regardless of them being two different letters, I needed something from another source.

And what matters to you guys, letter from my doctor, it had to give their license number, DEA number, the place they work at, some other information and them swearing under the oath and all that - that I was a trans man and had transitioned and needed all my documents to state I was male.

Good luck to everyone and anyone else who makes this move.

This also applies for trans-ladies too. The forms at the DMV I went to (In Largo, off Starkey) stated this. They were pretty nice about it took and were very hush hush so no one else would see what we were talking about at the front desk. Good luck again everyone!

One happy story, you know? A few weeks ago dad went with me to get my tags changed (we figured we'd get that done at least, because then if the worst happened no one would know I had a MD id as long as no one pulled me over, and I would keep it as long as I needed to until I got the chest taken care of or whatever was required by the state.) But my dad calmed me down that.. I probably just hear about the bad stories online, and that people who have things turn around for them tend not to publish it or it doesn't make it out there because society feeds off the sad stories... so... I told him it went through smoothly that I would write the crap outta my story. SO YES. Things went great!!!

[Guest Robin Winter]

I'm pleased it worked out. I've never been so glad to be proven wrong!

[Carolyn Marie]

I like nothing better than a story with a happy ending. Congrats, hon. Nice job!

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest (Lightsider)]

I like nothing better than a story with a happy ending. Congrats, hon. Nice job!

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

I do too! Awesome stuff!

[Guest Claire-G]

Nice one, a happy happy story well done

[JJ]

Congratz on the success and thanks for sharing

Johnny

[Guest WastelandBoat]

thanks everyone ... man its such a relief... and part of me really didn't want to have to get surgery right away.. i wanna sit on it a while because i really do not have a chest to begin with... so its just... relaxing... no one will have to know besides my close friends who've known me forever or a doctor... its all history... <3

[Charlize]

I think its great that you were able to get it all worked out. The hoops seem inevitable and so high but perseverance paid for you. It can be frustrating when we try to get through motor vehicles regardless of the issue. I had a great time getting my new photo. The ladies behind the counter were more than kind and my pic makes it easier even though it still has an M. You must feel great. My only question is why Florida? Having spent a summer there i would never live there.

Hugs,

Charlie

[KathrynJulia]

Your story gives hope to so many of us that their is sanity in one or two places in the world. Congratulations on prevailing at the Florida DMV.

Kathryn