Hello To All

[Guest Emily.SoCal]

Heya, Jillian! Welcome to the Playground. I haven't been around here too long myself, but I can tell you that in that short time I've encountered nothing but support and positivity. I'm sure you'll find the same.

Also, on a side note, I'm quite impressed that you dedicated so many years to serving our country even though military life surely kept you from exploring and expressing your gender identity. For that, I salute you.

Anyway, welcome! And see you around the site.

-Emily

P.S. I love the name Jillian! I consider it myself, but alas I have a close friend with the same name so it would have been a bit odd to say the least!

[Guest Jillian]

felicia anne

Its a pleasure to meet you and thank you for the cookies and milk. I like your name as well its very pretty as for the tour I am exploring here every day and discovering all sorts of things as well as exploring the internet. Right now I am in a school for the military out in Kentucky and after the ice storm that hit here we have not had school for allmost a week now so I have been stuck here in a motel room for allmost a week now. To say the least I am beginning to go stir crazy.

After all the cookies everyone has offered me I guess I will have to make everyone some cookies when I get back home and pass a plate or two around I must warn everyone though the cookies I like to make you cant eat just one.

Jillian

[Guest Jillian]

Emily

Thank you for the welcome.

There has been times when I wanted to quit the military so I could start being the real me. I did explore my identity a little while in the military but I had to keep that part of me hidden really well but I learned how to do that early in life with my parents. I got caught several times when I was younger and each time I learned how to hide that part of my life even better sometimes I think that hurt me more then it helped and I hid it to well even from myself.

At least I now only have this one last deployment left before I am done for good with the military and I can begin my life.

Emily is a pretty name as well and I like it, thank you my wife actually helped me pick out my name I had a name I had used for years but she didn't like it so we settled on this one.

My middle name is Marie so maybe that will help distinguish me from your friend with the same name as me.

Jillian Marie

[Guest Jillian]

Just wanted to post an update, I am back at home and did not deploy to Iraq I arrived at the mobilization station and found I could not hide who I was for a full year. I felt like I was lieing not only to those around me but to myself as well and so I told a chaplin about who I truely was and how I was feeling and so they sent me home allowing me to remain in the military until I am able to retire. At present I am one month into Hormone Replacement and much happier to be home.

[Sally]

That is exciting news!

I am so glad that things have worked out so well - I'm so glad they are letting you stay in and not lose the benifits that you have earned.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Jillian]

Well it has been some time since I have posted here and it seems my life has taken a turn. I am now one year into transistion and coming along nicely.

on Nov 10 2009 my wife went in for surgery, during surgery her heart stopped ti took the Dr's 13 min to get it beating again and during that time her brain recieved damage to the point I was told the most she could hope for is to live the rest of her life in a coma. And so I was asked to disconnect life support and allow her to pass away. And so on Sunday a day of rest for the lord I had them disconect her and 5 hours later she rested her final rest. This was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my entire life. Pray for me and for her right now we need all the help we can get.

I love you Valeria forever with all my heart and soul

Jillian

[Guest Jean Davis]

I'm so sorry to hear that honey

Please take comfort in knowing that she is in a better place and is happy.

Love and support always.

LUV

Jean

[Guest Donna Jean]

Jillian....

Please accept my deepest condolences....

May you meet again in a better place...

With love...

Donna Jean

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Dearest Jillian,

I am so sorry to have missed this post of yours for so long. To have had to make that kind of decision is something that no one should have to make, but sadly, some of us are placed in that position anyway.

No one understands the love, the anguish, the letting go, the fear, the sadness of being placed in that position. Under the advice of doctors, you made the right decision. You did the loving act.

You showed selfless love. I stand beside you.

Love

Brenda

[Carolyn Marie]

Jillian, I am so very sorry for the loss of your beloved wife. To have to decide what is best in that situation is a terrible burden, one

no one should have to bear. My heart goes out to you.

She is in a place without suffering or pain. You will see her again some day.

My thoughts are with you.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Charlene_Leona]

Jillian

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your precious wife. To be placed in that position by the doctors must of been the most difficult decision one has to of been asked to make. My heart goes out to you and your late wife and you'll be in my prayers.

Please Take Care

Charlene Leona

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

OMG how did I miss this for so long, my deepest sympathies Jillian. It is something that nobody should have to do, all trails will meet again in the end and she will be waiting for you.

[Sally]

Jillian,

I can only tell you how sorry I am that your wife has passed away and even more because you were forced to make the most difficult decision that a human being can make.

I believe that you acted in her best interests and she will be watching over you until the time comes for you to walk with her again, hand in hand forever.

We mourn the loss for ourselves and our family but we celebrate her life and know that she is in a better place.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Italic]

Well it has been some time since I have posted here and it seems my life has taken a turn. I am now one year into transistion and coming along nicely.

on Nov 10 2009 my wife went in for surgery, during surgery her heart stopped ti took the Dr's 13 min to get it beating again and during that time her brain recieved damage to the point I was told the most she could hope for is to live the rest of her life in a coma. And so I was asked to disconnect life support and allow her to pass away. And so on Sunday a day of rest for the lord I had them disconect her and 5 hours later she rested her final rest. This was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my entire life. Pray for me and for her right now we need all the help we can get.

I love you Valeria forever with all my heart and soul

Jillian

Julian, I am so sorry to hear your wife has passed away. It is extremely difficult to loose a spouse. My husband passed away in 2008 and I am still picking up the pieces of life. The death of someone we love dearly wounds us a little and healing takes time. Be sure to give yourself time and be sure to talk with someone feel you can be emotional with and they will understand. Please know if you need support that there are people here willing, wanting and able to provide you whatever support possible.

[Guest Caroline_J]

*waves* Hiya Jillian and welcome!!

[Guest angie]

Howdy Jillian,

I am Angie,one of the many supportive sisters who call this wonderful

place our second home.Having lost folks I loved dearly over the last

three years,the latest coming just last Tuesday,my heart goes out to you

and I feel your pain.Know that your loving spouse is there with you,looking

out for her girl.

Warm Soft Hugs of Empathy,

Angelique

[Paula ult]

Jillian hon,

I am so sorry for your loss.

HUGS!!!!

Paula

[Guest van-na]

Hi Jillian,

<<hug>>

Welcome to Laura's Playground.

Please feel free to come over and chat sometime.

The Chat room does require another registration that is separate from from your forums one.

Please read the chat room rules before coming in, and expect a short interview with one of the chat room moderators.

One of the things that they will ask you is if you read the rules.

We have MTF meetings-Mon & Sat 9pm est, and you are welcome to attend.

We all look forward to seeing you.

vanna