Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Hello To All


Guest Jillian

Recommended Posts

Guest Emily.SoCal

Heya, Jillian! Welcome to the Playground. I haven't been around here too long myself, but I can tell you that in that short time I've encountered nothing but support and positivity. I'm sure you'll find the same.

Also, on a side note, I'm quite impressed that you dedicated so many years to serving our country even though military life surely kept you from exploring and expressing your gender identity. For that, I salute you.

Anyway, welcome! And see you around the site. :)

-Emily

P.S. I love the name Jillian! I consider it myself, but alas I have a close friend with the same name so it would have been a bit odd to say the least!

Link to comment
Guest Jillian

felicia anne

Its a pleasure to meet you and thank you for the cookies and milk. I like your name as well its very pretty as for the tour I am exploring here every day and discovering all sorts of things as well as exploring the internet. Right now I am in a school for the military out in Kentucky and after the ice storm that hit here we have not had school for allmost a week now so I have been stuck here in a motel room for allmost a week now. To say the least I am beginning to go stir crazy.

After all the cookies everyone has offered me I guess I will have to make everyone some cookies when I get back home and pass a plate or two around I must warn everyone though the cookies I like to make you cant eat just one.

Jillian

Link to comment
Guest Jillian

Emily

Thank you for the welcome.

There has been times when I wanted to quit the military so I could start being the real me. I did explore my identity a little while in the military but I had to keep that part of me hidden really well but I learned how to do that early in life with my parents. I got caught several times when I was younger and each time I learned how to hide that part of my life even better sometimes I think that hurt me more then it helped and I hid it to well even from myself.

At least I now only have this one last deployment left before I am done for good with the military and I can begin my life.

Emily is a pretty name as well and I like it, thank you my wife actually helped me pick out my name I had a name I had used for years but she didn't like it so we settled on this one.

My middle name is Marie so maybe that will help distinguish me from your friend with the same name as me. :)

Jillian Marie

Link to comment
  • 4 months later...
Guest Jillian

Just wanted to post an update, I am back at home and did not deploy to Iraq I arrived at the mobilization station and found I could not hide who I was for a full year. I felt like I was lieing not only to those around me but to myself as well and so I told a chaplin about who I truely was and how I was feeling and so they sent me home allowing me to remain in the military until I am able to retire. At present I am one month into Hormone Replacement and much happier to be home.

Link to comment

That is exciting news!

I am so glad that things have worked out so well - I'm so glad they are letting you stay in and not lose the benifits that you have earned.

Love ya,

Sally

Link to comment
  • 5 months later...
Guest Jillian

:( Well it has been some time since I have posted here and it seems my life has taken a turn. I am now one year into transistion and coming along nicely.

on Nov 10 2009 my wife went in for surgery, during surgery her heart stopped ti took the Dr's 13 min to get it beating again and during that time her brain recieved damage to the point I was told the most she could hope for is to live the rest of her life in a coma. And so I was asked to disconnect life support and allow her to pass away. And so on Sunday a day of rest for the lord I had them disconect her and 5 hours later she rested her final rest. This was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my entire life. Pray for me and for her right now we need all the help we can get.

I love you Valeria forever with all my heart and soul

Jillian :(

Link to comment
Guest ~Brenda~

Dearest Jillian,

I am so sorry to have missed this post of yours for so long. To have had to make that kind of decision is something that no one should have to make, but sadly, some of us are placed in that position anyway.

No one understands the love, the anguish, the letting go, the fear, the sadness of being placed in that position. Under the advice of doctors, you made the right decision. You did the loving act.

You showed selfless love. I stand beside you.

Love

Brenda

Link to comment
  • Admin

Jillian, I am so very sorry for the loss of your beloved wife. To have to decide what is best in that situation is a terrible burden, one

no one should have to bear. My heart goes out to you.

She is in a place without suffering or pain. You will see her again some day.

My thoughts are with you.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment
Guest Charlene_Leona

Jillian

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your precious wife. To be placed in that position by the doctors must of been the most difficult decision one has to of been asked to make. My heart goes out to you and your late wife and you'll be in my prayers.

Please Take Care

Charlene Leona

Link to comment
Guest Joanna Phipps

OMG how did I miss this for so long, my deepest sympathies Jillian. It is something that nobody should have to do, all trails will meet again in the end and she will be waiting for you.

Link to comment

Jillian,

I can only tell you how sorry I am that your wife has passed away and even more because you were forced to make the most difficult decision that a human being can make.

I believe that you acted in her best interests and she will be watching over you until the time comes for you to walk with her again, hand in hand forever.

We mourn the loss for ourselves and our family but we celebrate her life and know that she is in a better place.

Love ya,

Sally

Link to comment
:( Well it has been some time since I have posted here and it seems my life has taken a turn. I am now one year into transistion and coming along nicely.

on Nov 10 2009 my wife went in for surgery, during surgery her heart stopped ti took the Dr's 13 min to get it beating again and during that time her brain recieved damage to the point I was told the most she could hope for is to live the rest of her life in a coma. And so I was asked to disconnect life support and allow her to pass away. And so on Sunday a day of rest for the lord I had them disconect her and 5 hours later she rested her final rest. This was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my entire life. Pray for me and for her right now we need all the help we can get.

I love you Valeria forever with all my heart and soul

Jillian :(

Julian, I am so sorry to hear your wife has passed away. It is extremely difficult to loose a spouse. My husband passed away in 2008 and I am still picking up the pieces of life. The death of someone we love dearly wounds us a little and healing takes time. Be sure to give yourself time and be sure to talk with someone feel you can be emotional with and they will understand. Please know if you need support that there are people here willing, wanting and able to provide you whatever support possible.

Link to comment

Howdy Jillian,

I am Angie,one of the many supportive sisters who call this wonderful

place our second home.Having lost folks I loved dearly over the last

three years,the latest coming just last Tuesday,my heart goes out to you

and I feel your pain.Know that your loving spouse is there with you,looking

out for her girl.

Warm Soft Hugs of Empathy,

Angelique

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...

Hi Jillian,

<<hug>>

Welcome to Laura's Playground.

Please feel free to come over and chat sometime.

The Chat room does require another registration that is separate from from your forums one.

Please read the chat room rules before coming in, and expect a short interview with one of the chat room moderators.

One of the things that they will ask you is if you read the rules. :)

We have MTF meetings-Mon & Sat 9pm est, and you are welcome to attend.

We all look forward to seeing you.

:wub: vanna

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   5 Members, 0 Anonymous, 131 Guests (See full list)

    • Andrea D
    • MaryEllen
    • AllieJ
    • Birdie
    • Karen Carey
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      766.5k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,912
    • Most Online
      8,356

    DeniseKell
    Newest Member
    DeniseKell
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Beth Susan
      Beth Susan
      (53 years old)
    2. Bree138
      Bree138
      (44 years old)
    3. Catamondium
      Catamondium
    4. cody
      cody
      (17 years old)
    5. kass
      kass
  • Posts

    • Carolyn Marie
      https://english.kyodonews.net/news/2024/03/273fdffe00c0-japan-society-on-transgender-issues-to-drop-disorder-from-name.html     Carolyn Marie
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.theguardian.com/society/2024/mar/18/science-knowledge-gap-trans-healthcare     I like the reference to "trans broken arm syndrome."  I've experienced it myself.  The more research, the better, certainly.  The problem as I see it, especially concerning reports in the popular press, is that preliminary results are often used to "prove" someones POV, or are misunderstood or used in a political way.  That is never helpful, and it isn't confined to reporting on trans health care issues.  For example, how many times have we read or heard about studies that "prove" coffee is bad, or chocolate is bad, or eggs are bad, etc., only to read weeks or months later that the opposite is true?  In the case of trans health care, it all gets politicized, too.   Carolyn Marie
    • Cisco1127
      I just finished the intake forms for an online informed consent clinic through Plume and im both nervous and excited to meet with my provider next week via video chat. I'm worried I will be turned down and cannot get a prescription for a variety of reasons. I was asked so many invasive questions during intake, which I knew would happen. I worried about what I should leave out, how honest I should be, what could be something that would deny me a prescription. I've been fighting with myself for a long time and now that I have opened myself up to hoping for change, I am so scared of having the carrot dangled in my face only to be ripped away.    And a part of me is scared of starting testosterone. I'm even more scared of inaction. Of not at least trying it and seeing how I feel about the changes. If I don't try it, I will never know, and I will be stuck in the loop of questioning whether or not it is right for me until I am filled with regrets for chances not taken rather than opportunities I've pursued.     Has anyone here ever felt fear and apprehension about staring HRT? How did you get over that fear? How do I know in my heart if this is right for me when I am always running through all of the endless possibilities of good and bad results?     
    • Carolyn Marie
      In keeping with @VickySGV's train of thought, here are links to a couple of Canadian legal resources.  I hope these can help you, as you do seem to need it.   https://justicetrans.org/en/resources/   https://www.courthouselibrary.ca/how-we-can-help/our-library-services/lawmatters-public-libraries/lgbt-legal-resource-round   https://www.halco.org/our-services/trans-legal-needs-assessment-ontario   BTW, welcome to Transgender Pulse, hon.  You are safe here.   Carolyn Marie
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      An option?  Sure.  When you come right down to it, everything except food/water/shelter is optional.  Life can be very basic....brutally basic.  Life can even be so bad that one's gender issues or sexuality are the farthest thought from your mind, at least for a while.  You can "play pretend" successfully for years or a lifetime, with nobody suspecting that your true self is different from the gender you were assigned at birth.  All kinds of choices, and its up to each person to decide which choices are more comfortable and less destructive to self and others.     From what I have learned, transition is a spectrum.  There's no one single way to do it, and your way may look very different from how a friend does it.  Some people go to great lengths with surgery.  Others are like me an my friends, non-op by choice or other circumstances.  You can do a whole bunch of stuff in a short time, or the process can take years.  I don't see it as a black-or-white kind of choice, but a progression towards authenticity and comfort.
    • Sally Stone
      I buy online occasionally, but I'd much rather try something on in the store to know if it fits or how it looks.  I'm not sure this is actually "shopping across the aisle" since I often shop for women's clothes dressed as a woman (but not always).  That said, I have had great success finding amazing deals on the discount racks at department stores.  I never buy anything at retail in fact, I usually only purchase when an item is seriously discounted.  Macy's, Nordstrom's, and Dillards clothes are extremely pricey, but you can find some amazing deals on the sales racks.  In Macy's last year, I bought a $300 dollar gown for $45 and just last week I found a really pretty and very feminine sweater on the Macy's rack for $16.99.  The original tag price was $89.00.  My experience is that department stores tend to sell higher quality clothing, which means you can find some great stuff when you shop their sales racks.   I have found some great things at Goodwill myself.  And in the interest of full-disclosure, I have given a lot new or nearly new women's items to Goodwill as well.
    • EasyE
      Discovered this recently as well... you have to be more of a hunter because it isn't always obvious what the sizes are... at least the store near me organizes fairly well by color and such ... found a nice pair of khakis and a nice white skort, though also found a few shirts that when I got home, yikes, way too tight... 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Wow.  To borrow things and break them... that's what we call a "USDA A-Grade Crap Filet."  Most mechanics hate it when others borrow their tools...or even touch them.  And that's with permission.  Without permission?  My GF would probably put somebody in the hospital for that.    And definitely, if they gotta borrow something multiple times...better be buying their own when that paycheck shows up.  At least get the Harbor Freight version.  Most of their stuff ain't that bad. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      You might not think of it, but Goodwill has a TON of stuff.  I guess a lot of women buy clothes, hardly wear them, and then give them away when they get bored.  I've seen name brand stuff there for $3 or so.  You can always take a look...looking is free.  One of my friends is good with a sewing machine, and she gets stuff that's a bit bigger, then adjusts the fit.  Easier to subtract fabric than add 😄   I shop across the aisle, but for boy things.  And believe it or not, its actually more difficult if you're looking for something super cheap.  Thrift stores...most of the stuff for boys is worn out.  And being small, its super tough to find things in my size.  Even shorts, jeans, and t-shirts... good luck finding them in size "tiny fox."  Everything is made for Big and Tall.  6ft plus, built like a brick outhouse....Manly!  My husband complains since he's not 6ft tall, and if he has a tough time finding clothes that fit, its practically impossible for me. 
    • Mmindy
      When I worked as a mechanic in a truck shop. The standard saying was: If you have to borrow a tool more than three times, you need to buy one of your own.    Blue collar hands,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Finally found out boss did fire a co worker I hated.A mechanic and I was one of 3 mechanics fixing his screw ups.Plus he would go into other other mechanic's toolboxes taking off with tools without asking.One was mine,one was a diesel compression tester kit of mine and broke the gauge part which I will have my Snap On dealer order me a new gauge tommorrow when he comes in
    • VickySGV
      Find and get in touch with the closest LGBTQ center near you and (1) they will know of programs that employ Trans people willingly and (2) will have ways to get you competent legal help to break you free of your family and their controlling and damaging behavior toward you.  I do not know Canadian Law on this, but here where I am you could get a court order to stop them from interfering in your life.  Gender Dysphoria is not a mental health issue that should keep you from managing your personal affairs.  The people at those centers know what we go through and are ready to help you.
    • Ashley0616
      You look great in all of them!
    • Mirrabooka
      I'll try!     I still have no desire at all to start wearing skirts and dresses, and I don't have the curves to justify wearing women's jeans or slacks. I think the furthest I will go is maybe some pretty and androgynous tops one day. That's what appealed to me with the hoodie - it just looked so much nicer than any of those on offer from the men's department.
    • shelli
      Hello.   My name is not Shelli but for my safety i have to use this name here.   Im looking for advice.   In canada conversion therapy is illegal. My family has employed a psiciatrist to comversion therapy me covertly. I am 45 and the administrator of a wealthy families estate.   I have been fleeing this for about 7 years. It began by me having mtf grs. I was supposed to have ffs and top and vocal aswell. They allowed the bottom surgery. Then began getting social workers, the psyc and an accountant to slander me from town to town as i tried to get work and stablity in my life. I eventually went back to male atire to try and hide and restart transition. Each time they wojld find out where i was and it would start again.   I spoke out about it and now they claim i destroyed there lives by seeking help and that im an adult child since i cant get a job while they do this so that i cant as i would take control of the families fortune. They have had this psyciatrist diagnose me falsly with scizophrenia, upsetting me then bipolat, borderline, psicotic, and so much more. They have even tried getting me framed for crimes i never commited.   Im terrified, living in the woods, off hormones and even when i turn to the lgbt community in my area they have convinced many of them that im a trans man etc etc etc.   It never ends.   I would like to hear any advice.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...