graduation coming around =o

[Guest cela]

I am 18 yrs old (19 in dec.) so this is the year I graduate from upper secondary highschool (?) (gymnasium in Swedish)! I was planning to wear a white shirt and black pants, or jeans. I was thinking that it would work out after I got a binder, and that my body wouldn't look as pearshaped (lol). Well, now I have gotten my binder (awesome), and I tried it with the shirt and pants ... and my body still looks like a girls. My shoulders are not broad enough and my hips are too wide! Y_Y My plan was ruined, so I started thinking of a new one and thought a blazer might hide things and make me look more masculine. Buuut, I want a mens blazer ofc and those are hard to find in xs (which is usually what i have in mens shirts). Today I went and found some blazers at a store, and they all had padded shoulders. I didn't even dare to try them, afraid I would be facing huge disappointment. Sigh, with my shoulders a blazer like that would probably make me look like a clown. And I really don't want a womans blazer cuz they are fitted to the body...

Right now my only plan is to look through the kids section in every store and see if I can find something. And if my body still looks curvy with a blazer on then I'm just gna crawl under a rock and stay there forever >.> I get peed when things don't look they way I want em to! D=

Also, my friends in school have been bugging me about the fact that I wont wear a dress, it's like they are mad about it and they can be mean about it straight to my face. Now they are telling me that "you have to wear this if ur not gna wear a dress!", like they are gna force me to wear some crap that I don't want just bcuz I am not gonna wear what people expect me to wear >.<. I just want them to stop complaining and accept it! (Why do people complain when I look like a guy, which i friggin don't by the way and that scks.)