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Guest KimberlyF

Smile/wave & tell someone.

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Guest KimberlyF

Two posts on this topic.

First this was on my Facebook this week:

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So here I am smiling and waving at everyone who reads this. And if it makes you smile just a little bit, you can think that I just had chia pudding and have a seed stuck in my tooth w/no floss. Trying to work it out currently w/my tongue. If anyone comes into the office I'm planning on avoiding direct eye contact till its out.

Second, I just heard of a 21 year old who killed himself. I did not even know this individual, and yet if there was a real way I could have helped him, I would have tried. It is such a sad event and it spreads to all those around.

This kid just had lunch w/his mother the day it happened. Everyone is unique and a gift. Everyone has value. I don't know his pain, but I *know* there are people out there that would have tried to help him if he asked. And those are just the people that don't know him. I'd have to believe some in his own family or friends would have gone further. All he had to do was ask. What had been overheard from the family inbetween the tears is they had no idea.

I have been there. I know many people who have been there. I am happy I didn't act on any of the feelings I've had in the past. Many people know where I've been and where I am. My support system did not exist until I stepped out of my comfort and built it. Nobody had any idea about me.

Do not keep these feelings to yourself. If you ARE trying to fight this alone, know that you are special and you have worth. All you need to do is ask for help and people will try their best to give it.

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Carolyn Marie

This is a wonderful post, Kimberly, and contains some real truths. Thank you for sharing the story, and your words of wisdom. It is so true that you can never know how you impact someones life by a kind word, or just an acknowledgement that they exist. That is what we all try to do here. I know it has helped. It helped me.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

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MaryEllen

Thank you for sharing that with us Kim. We probably won't have any way of knowing but you just might have saved someones life today. Bless you, Kim.

MaryEllen

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KathrynJulia

Let me chime in also Kim. That was a very thoughtful post you just made. It's a reminder to all of us to look out for each other and do the little things that show someone that they are noticed and not alone. Thank you, Kathryn

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Guest sophia.gentry58

I agree with you Kimberly, many times we walk on this earth expecting every passer-by to know how much we are hurting and wanting them to just reach out and grab hold of us and tell us everything will be alright without realizing that while they may see the hurt expressed in our facial expressions, they will not know the extent of the pain we are going through without us first reaching out to them. Most of the time when we feel we are at the end of our rope and feel that we are all alone (one of the earmarks of suicidality-aloneness) there is almost no place that we cannot turn for outside help. However, the question begs asking, what happens when there truly is no one in whom we can turn; what then? I believe one of the greatest examples of what to do in a rare case such as that comes from Viktor Frankl, M.D., Ph.D who learned how to find meaning in life where the evidence all around him was to the contrary. I like to use this example because most of us will never experience having to find meaning in life while at the same time being challenged to maintain that mindset while death is all around you; your brethren being made out of lamp shades or put into ovens to be burned alive. This was Viktor Frankl's experience during the cup cake regime, yet he was able to maintain that positive mindset, and not only he, but many others whom he counseled while being held captive in the concentration camp.

There are many, me included, who would argue that albeit we may never (prayerfully) ever have to experience the ordeal he went through, my ordeal is every bit as significant to me as Dr. Frankl's was to him. Even if that is true for each of us, still, we must find a way to find meaning in life despite the ordeal if we are to survive those times we think there is no one there to help us. Failing to accomplish the aforementioned many times results in the thinking of some that the only answer to what ails us is to use a permanent solution to fix a temporary problem. This search for the meaning of life will come more from within than it ever will from without.

There is a resilience training that I have found useful in understanding the importance of this search for the meaning of life. This training is called Master Resilience Training and has six pivotal core competencies which goes a long way in helping one to ascertain their purpose, which really is about the meaning of life, your life on this planet. The six core competencies are Self-awareness, Self-regulation, Optimism, Mental Agility, Strength of Character, and connection. While time and space does not allow me to delineate each of these competencies, one thing is abundantly clear, albeit we all can agree on the paramount importance of others in whom we can go to for support, five of the six core competencies are related to mastering self and only one deals with mastering how to have a connection with others outside of self. One of the biggest reasons divorces are so prevalent in our society is because we tend to make connections and get into relationships with others before we have fully gained competence in understanding self; its also why many fall prey to suicide as well.

There will be times, for whatever reason, we may ultimately find ourselves alone (real or imagined) and without a support system. If or when that happens, if we have learned or are learning who we are in the grand scheme of this great universe we live in and our place in it then we stand a far greater chance of surviving the onslaught of the feelings of loneliness, hopelessness, and helplessness which ultimately can lead to fixing our temporary problem(s) permanently.

Sophia

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Guest ~Brenda~

Wow Kimberly,

That was a tremendously fantastic post!

Thank you

Love

Brenda

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Guest angels wings

Powerful words Kimberly thank you for posting this thank you for giving hope to others .priceless lovey just priceless

Angel :)

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Charlize

Thank you Kimberly for you kind and thoughtful words. There is so much magic in the contact of another human be it physical touch, a kind word or a smile.

Hugs and a morning smile,

Charlie

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Guest LizMarie

Thank you, Kimberly. This is a wonderful sentiment!

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Guest Zayden

Thank you Kimberly, and to everyone else who has shared here.

It's actually helped me tremendously.

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Guest ErinMc

Nice post Kimberly. Sometimes life has a way of bringing us down. But it is nice to see some positive energy in this crazy world of ours.

BTW... Smiling and waving right back

Erin

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Guest meganstar

All weekend long I've ridden my emotional dive attempting to keep a good face on around my wife and daughter. Kimberly thank you for your mention of Dr Frankl. Sometimes its difficult to remember that it can always be worse. Far worse.

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Guest Razilee

I've had two good friends commit suicide. I have scars myself. I tried to befriend them, but who can understand the pain another is going through. One of them was engaged and the other turned down my proposal. I'd like to think that it was a momentary lapse of judgement that unfortunately had irreversible consequences. It's thinking on that sort of decision that cautions me against transitioning as well. Although not quite as drastic it's very difficult and expensive to reverse.

Live long and prosper,

Raz

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VeronicaStone

Thanks for posting that, Kimberly. I'm going to meditate upon that and try to employ it. I'm not at all a smile-and-wave kind of person, but this is worth me trying to step beyond that.

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