Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Is it bad that I overlook Mtfs when I comes to dating


Guest Jay Smooth

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 67
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Carolyn Marie

    4

  • JJ

    3

  • Cyndee

    2

  • Drea

    1

Guest Bellexia

Absolutely not. Our preferences are our own. I happen to prefer cisgirls over tgs I would still date one, even fall in love with one it is just a preference. Just like I also prefer a guy my height or taller. They are just preferences and no one can choose whom they are attracted to.

Link to comment
  • Admin

There is no rule about who transfolk should date. Date the person you are attracted to, male or female, natal or trans, green or purple, lefty or righty. All that matters is that you share some attraction for each other, and have something that binds you together.

Einstein once said, "Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love." So there you have it, from the expert. :)

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

For myself I don't want to put myself or anyone else in any box but simply remain open to a relationship with anyone who attracts me. Period. Labels just don't fit us right and are actually pretty much restrictive for anyone anyway. There was a video posted here just a but ago about gender and it covers it very well. I'm not seeking any one group or ruling any one out.

Relationships -real relationships that involve the heart-are too rare to be rejected because someone has a cis or trans or any other label. In fairness I must say though that for some reason -and there are different theories-relationships between FTMS and MTFs seem to break up more often than between either group and cis people. Maybe that will change as there are more and more FTMs living openly instead of stealth but I have no idea for sure. Logic would say an MTF would understand our feelings and be ideal if we are attracted but the reality is apparently otherwise. Or was when I was doing the research a couple of years ago anyway. Isn't to say they can't work out-just as they more seldom actually do.

Johnny

Link to comment
Guest KimberlyF

Date who ever you want to date. But then don't throw rocks because certain people don't feel they could date a FtM. There are plenty of good people attracted to every type or shape or color or religion. We can't help how we feel.

Link to comment
Guest Jay Smooth

And it would be easier for a straight woman to date an ftm rather than a straight male dating a mtf, Unless the mtf had hormone blockers, Its easier for me to pass rather than vice versa and their are more ways around sex for us, Everytime I go out my mom corrcts people

Link to comment
  • Admin

Jay, you are stereotyping people, which is never a good thing. People are individuals, and every individual is unique. In a general sense, yes, FtM's have some advantages in physically being seen as their correct gender. But it is far from a universal truth, Jay. I know many young transwomen who pass perfectly well, and some young transmen who do not.

I'm going to give you the BoD given your age, but some of the things you say are, well, not very thoughtful.

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment

If you're attracted to women, and flat out say "I won't date trans women" then you're being a transmisogynist. If you're attracted to women, find somebody awesome who happens to be trans and consider that a "deal breaker" then you're being a transmisogynist.

Lets put in through a different lens. If you're white and say you flat out won't date somebody black then you're being a racist.

If the situation is that you just happen to not run into trans women, that's fine. If you realize that you're assuming everybody you've been attracted to was cis then you might be on the right road to thinking about ideas of gender.

Trans women have as wide of a spectrum of differences as cis women have. And you don't know if somebody is trans or cis until they tell you.

Link to comment
Guest Jay Smooth

I get that but its my oppinion, That would just be to much,I just dont think I could date one and all the girls Ive like were never physically male and I know that for a fact because one plays basketball and the other was in my gym class in the girls locker, If that was the case Id be in the guys but they cant let me, And the girl I talk right know is cisgendered

Link to comment
Guest ~Brenda~

Jay dear,

You are very young and seem very conflicted. I can tell you from direct experience that there are many transwomen who are indistinguishable from GG women in every way.

You seem consumed with sexuality which is not unusual for someone your age, but sexuality is not the same as gender identity.

I know that you like to express your opinions on gender identity, sexuality, MTF, FTM, and other transgender misconceptions.

The thing is Jay, is that being transgendered is far more complex than you seem to understand at this time.

Let's work on your transgendered self and later work on your sexuality.

One day, I hope you will find that being FTM is not really different from MTF. The issues are the same even if some of the details are different. Sexuality is different from everything.

I know you are going to want to retort to my reply, but before you do, think about what I have said.

Laura's Playground is a site of exploration and is not a site for judgment, bashing, or stereotyping.

Why not allow others to express their experiences and insight to you without reprisal?

Love

Brenda

Link to comment
Guest Jay Smooth

Im not judging anyone you missed my point if you think about it it would be stressful, I just cant do that I pefer cisgendered women, And their are loads of straight men who could agree

Link to comment
  • Admin

I get that but its my oppinion,

You asked for our opinions, Jay. We gave them to you. You expressed yours. We told you what we think of it. What else is there to say? Of course you are entitled to your opinion. But you asked us if your opinion is "bad." Why ask if you don't want to consider the answers?

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment
Guest LuceKeagan

I am beginning to wonder about the reasons behind some of your posts Jay, this one and others. This post is one I find to be very offending since to me, like others before me, it seems as if you don't think of our sisters as women when they are women just as much as you are a young man. And Kieran and Brenda are correct when they say that genetic girls and trans girls are often very difficult if not impossible to tell any difference between the two. Unless you are asking every single girl you meet if they were born male, which I highly doubt.

I hate to repeat what others have said but it seems like you don't read our complete posts so I will repeat what others have said. Laura's is a place that is supposed to be free of judgement, stereotyping, and bashing of other groups. Any other groups. This includes transmen, transwoman, genderqueer, any other gender nonconforming group, and all sexual orientations.

Youth may be your excuse, inexperience and the lack of years on your part, but frankly I personally believe after working with multiple young people of your age bracket on a daily basis for 8 hrs a day, 7 days a week, that it is just that. An excuse. Live and -learn-, ask questions to learn....not to dig your feet in stubbornly and insist that it's just "your opinion" when you know you're offending and possibly upsetting others.

I'm very sad for you Jay, I really am. I feel like this post and others you have recently started lash out, "bash", at the other groups and people here on Laura's, and the LGBTQ community, that do not share your views. We try to offer life experiences and advice, which is what I assume you want since you make these posts for the whole world to see, and you refute, disagree, don't even read, or flat out ignore us. Please remember many of us are much older than you and have experienced many things throughout our lives.

On the matter of dating a ftm being easier or a mtf being harder to date for any gender I ask you to site truthful facts or studies to back this up. This is another misconception you seem to have. Relationships need two mature people involved to work, no matter the gender of the people involved. Relationships need -worked- on and are rarely Hollywood easy, if ever, no matter the gender or sexual orientation of the people involved.

Who are these "loads" of straight men you personally discuss sexual attraction with? I personally know many straight men who view women as women no matter her medical history. Unless you speak personally with all these men you can't know they agree with you.

To all others on Laura's, I apologize if this post comes off harsh. I've rewrote and toned it down from the original first post I typed many hours ago.

As for knowing "way" more than we assume you know Jay may I please ask you to prove it? Answer our questions directly with intelligent, thoughtful replies instead of refuting and ignoring them. Or making excuses or cop out replies about opinions.

Link to comment
Guest Zayden

Before I say anything - I am FtM and I have dated a MtF partner.

I feel that by excluding FtM you don't see them as being female. I'd say the same thing about anyone who was talking about FtM and liking men but exluding them.

However - as my ex reminds me - there is a distinct difference between biological sex and gender identity. That of course comes into play here. Obviously there are people who are attracted to physical characteristics more than mental/emotional and vice-versa.

And I'll note that I actually figured out I wasn't "into" girls when I was with my MtF partner - and it had nothing to do with genitalia - merely that I'm not attracted to femininity.

She was also pre-HRT and passed very well. ;)

Link to comment
Guest N. Jane

You are FtM and you wouldn't date a MtF? You are trans but you wouldn't date someone else who is trans?

My dear, that speaks VOLUMES! I hope you find more acceptance than you give.

Link to comment

Jay I'm sure you post topics jut to annoy people?! You ask people's opinions then not argue with them! If you know your own mind then why post?!! Personally I go for cis gendered females so they can carry a child and that's important to me! If I was to date a transwomen then we would not be able to have child which is something I hold dear to me! Don't get me wrong I could properly date a transwomen who had all surgeries but wouldn't be able to have a lasting relationship!

Currently I have a cus gendered girlfriend and 1 child so far and hopefully another child next year! This is just MY opinion and hope not to be judged on it

Link to comment
Guest Bellexia

Interesting. If I found a tg I loved, that's great, I still prefer cis girls. I am not going to apologize for who I am attracted to. You have to be happy with the person you are with, these are undeniable truths, and ugly ones at that. No one wants to admit they might be vain. They want to take the politically correct road and lie about how they feel because it makes them look better as a person.

As to the topic itself, it seems to have slipped into troll territory instead of an interesting topic.

Link to comment
Guest Jay Smooth

Well like I said I couldnt do it, And Ive talked to straight men and they have said they wouldnt date transwoman, And no im not trying to annoy or offen anyone, Like I said for me it would be to stressful, I date cisgender women so it wont be that complicated, You cant force me to date transwoman, Know if they were post op maybe but pre op no, And I never said I didnt yes you have your oppion but dont get frustrated because I dont agree, And who would date another transgender, I mean I already experiemce gender dysphria somebody else experiencing it would just be a major headace, Again thats why I go for cisgendered females, Like I said it feels better to be seen Id feel normal and whole with a straight cisgendered woman, And to luce keagan don bring gay people in this because your not changing my oppion I said I dont have a problem with but that dont mean I have to agree with every little thing, And I dont even like being grouped with Lesbians and gays because were to different issues, And gay people seem to think abbandoning them

Link to comment
Guest Jay Smooth

And what leo said also I atleast want my wife to carry a child so it can have some resemblence, and Bellexias right it did turn into a troll, It was to be interesting because their are loads of transguys who agree, I never said I didnt accept mtfs, Just because I accept them doesnt mean I have to date them

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 113 Guests (See full list)

    • MaybeRob
    • VickySGV
    • Wasylyna
    • Jordyn1215225
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,941
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Miss Cormac
    Newest Member
    Miss Cormac
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. **Angela Charlotte **
      **Angela Charlotte **
    2. Carlie
      Carlie
      (63 years old)
    3. Cbxshawn
      Cbxshawn
      (49 years old)
    4. HannahO
      HannahO
      (31 years old)
    5. JustKatie
      JustKatie
      (40 years old)
  • Posts

    • Sally Stone
      Go Cleveland Guardians!  I love baseball and I loved playing it when I was younger.  
    • Sally Stone
      My view is we are "dependent" on government, because as a society, we are too lazy to stay actively involved. So, we let politicians do our bidding for us.  I think we'd be in a better place government wise if we policed the actions of our politicians.  We elected them; they work for us.  Sadly, we are allowing them to run amok.  We are where we are because we have chosen to let politicians make all decisions without us.  Remember "by the people, for the people?" That was the intent of our democracy.  Today, however, it is "by the politicians, for the politicians," the people be damned. 
    • Mmindy
      "Play Ball! Batter Up!" is the closing line of the National Anthem as far as I'm concerned. It's the call of the Home Plate Umpire and signals the start of the game. I grew up in the TV and Radio broadcast of the St. Louis Cardinals. Harry Caray, Jack Buck, Tim McCarver, and Mike Shannon, were the voices on my transistor radio. KMOX 1120 AM pushing 50,000 watts of Class A clear-channel non-directional signal. It could be picked up all across MO, IL, IN to the East. KS, OK, CO to the West. IA, MN to the North, and KY, TN, AR to the South. There has always been a rivalry against the Chicago Cubs, in the National League. As for the American League, I have to pull for the Kansas City Royals. I've also been a Little League Umpire, and fan of everything the Little League stands for. Going to Williamsport, PA and seeing the Little League World Series is in my top 10 things to do on my bucket list.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Mmindy
      Good evening everyone,   I don't think my mother ever cooked a meal that I didn't like. We also had a kitchen where mom fixed the food, dad filled your plate, and you eat it. It wasn't until our baby brother was born that we could have Pop-Tarts for snacks. Before that all snacks had to meet mom's approval, and in her opinion wouldn't prevent you from eating supper.   Well my day started off on a good note, but has become frustrating because my IT person didn't transfer my saved videos I use for teaching. Then I found out that they didn't save any of my book marks for websites I use frequently.   Best wishes, stay motivated,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • MaeBe
      The number is relative to method of deliver, the time of the dose, and when the blood is drawn. However, I do want to keep away from DVT and other potential issues. I assume I may be getting backed down from my current dose, but my doc told me to stick with the higher dose, so? I also wonder if this has anything to do the my breast growth and mental changes that have been happening over the past few years, like I have some estrogen sensitivity so a little goes a long way or something? I don't have enough data to postulate, but who knows!   With weekly, subcutaneous, shots you expect to see big swings of serum level estradiol from shot to peak to trough. My doctor is interested in mid-week testing (for E and T levels only), which would be post-peak blood serum levels but they will be higher than trough. Most, if not all, resources I've seen online is to measure at trough (which I might do just to do it next time) along with a SHBG, LH, and other metrics.   This is from transfemscience.org for Estradiol valerate in oil, which is very spiky compared to some other estradiol combinations. It's also for intramuscular, which will have a slower uptake and is usually dosed in higher volume due to the slower absorption rate from muscles. They don't have subcutaneous numbers, which I would expect to see similar spikes but higher levels at similar doses due to the relatively higher absorption rate direct from fat.   Are you doing pills, shots, or patches? And when you do get your levels checked are you getting that done when your levels are lowest or some other time?
    • Willow
      Both of my parents were from the “North Shore” of Boston.  My mother Lynn and my father Swampscot.  They had an early 1900s Scots-Irish New England diet.  My sister and I were born in the 40s in Ohio well away from New England seafood and in an area where food was more German and Polish.  My first experience with liver and onions was during basic training.  They ate salt cod but never forced us to eat it same with oysters.  My dad ate oysters but my mother wouldn’t.  Anyone who ever ate an oyster can figure that one out.  I grew up eating lamb.  My wife won’t touch it. I love brazed ox tail, again no way. And the list goes on.  
    • KathyLauren
      My mother was German, so yes, I think it was a cultural thing.  If I'd known you when we were cleaning out my mother's place, I could have sent you her "threat jar". 
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Been taking it real easy.Another good neighbor of mine and his 15 year old son came over and cut down a couple dead trees on my property.Knew not to do it taking it easy.I had them put the wood near my fire pit in the back yard.Did it and happy where they put it.They knew I had stents put in and needed to take it easy
    • Ashley0616
      Wow that is a high number for Estradiol good grief! Testosterone levels are better than mine. I don't remember my Estradiol level but testosterone was 80. To me that is really high but it was in the two hundreds the check in before last one. 
    • Ivy
      I don't understand why this would make a difference being a "dad" I mean, as far as how they would grow.
    • Ashley0616
      I don't see why not. I have worn forms since I came out. 
    • MaeBe
      I have never worn breastforms, but I assume as long as they don't aggravate your nipples you could.
    • MaeBe
      Every week I've been excited to take my shot, so it's never been an issue. Yesterday, however, I woke up and started my usual "slow roll" and then suddenly realized I had breakfast plans that I had to rush out the door for. After, it was straight into work calls, and then I got the notification from the doctor about things being too high and all the while my mind had completely slipped that I needed take my shot.   Given that I am not asking for medical advice, but sharing my journey, I will note my results: Estradiol at 447 pg/mL and Testosterone was 23 ng/dL, up and down from 26 pg/mL and 526 ng/dL respectively before treatment. Almost flipped the bit! The doc would like my Estradiol closer to 300 pg/mL, so we'll see what Monday's tests state.   Oh, and I teased the dinner with old soccer teammates and never updated the thread! It went well. There were a couple funny moments. One guy, who I was worried about their response, greeted me with "Hey, you've lost some weight!" 😎 And a friend who lives near me picked me up on the way to dinner exclaimed, after we learned one of the invitees might show up with a date, "Wait! We could have brought women?!" To which I instantly responded, "You kind of did, bringing me!" Everyone got a good laugh out of that. 😁
    • Ashley0616
      To me there isn't that much difference other the measurement, which side the zipper is on and men's pants have bigger pockets. 
    • missyjo
      I hope this is not stupid question..I have yet to start n not sure if doc will approve..but once you start growing buds n such, can you still wear forms to get to the size you were?   I'm a dad, so when I start blossoms they will be smaller for a long time n probably need surgical augmented..that's fine. I don't want to go ddd to aa to ddd..   any ideas?   thank you
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...