Is it bad that I overlook Mtfs when I comes to dating

[Guest Jay Smooth]

I do accept all the trans people and myself man or woman, But I have Oppions just like you, Its more than the dysphoria thing but I dont want to hurt anyone

[JJ]

Of course you don't Jay.

I have an opinion too-you are having a whole lot of entertainment out of all this.

But again that is just my opinion and I really don't plan to post to these threads anymore. They all get to be alike and I am pretty sure you know the answers you are going to get before you ask the questions.

Not a game I want to play anymore myself but I wish you well

Johnny

[Guest KimberlyF]

I've never understood this desire to make people want to date me or force clubs to accept me or whatever. I am not attracted to FtMs or gender-typical guys, but I I were, what do I have to gain by putting one more person in the dating pool that I would disagree with so strongly? I'd see their decision to not want to date me without meeting me as a gift.

[Guest Lupi]

*Shrugs* I'm Pan, so it's all the same to me...

[JJ]

Lupi that is the perfect answer.

[Flint]

I like the way penguins waddle

[Guest nomnomnom]

Wow this thread...

I'm generally attracted to cis girls, guys and mtf, but would never rule anything out on a principle of labels... Just go with the flow and enjoy the whole experience of sexuality.

[Cyndee]

Folks it's ok now, as this thread was started by a person that demonstrated they were not truly seeking advice or help, but instead posted a topic that by it's very title was prejudice against one segment of the population, and then argued over what came next for what appeared to be some kind of entertainment. This person went on to say "I don't want to offend" but really was offensive and I believe knew this, and most likely enjoyed pushing people's buttons (baiter/troll). We are best to just stop replying to these types of posts here on our support forum, see rule 8 if you have any questions. We now return you to your posts of support, assistance, and unique insights.

Again - Date whomever you want, we all can be selective that's personal choice.

Cynthia -

[Guest SamIThinkIAm]

*shrug*

I really don't care either way.

Basically:

Do you and I have functional body parts that allow us to be pleasured and to pleasure each other, whatever those may be? Yes? Then we're good to go.

I'm not about to get bent out of shape about what those bits are, how you identify or how you prefer/like to use them.

So long as no one gets any STD's or accidentally conceives a child...its all the good and the same to me.

Getting caught up in the details and self-imposed 'rules' gets in the way of a lot of awesome relationships and experiences.

[Guest Leah1026]

Im not judging anyone you missed my point if you think about it it would be stressful, I just cant do that I pefer cisgendered women, And their are loads of straight men who could agree

What if you can't tell the difference? What if you didn't know the woman was trans? A difference which makes no difference is no difference at all. What we have here instead is you rationalizing a prejudice. You don't have a "preference", you have a prejudice.

By the way I have this argument a LOT with straight men in my advocacy work. It happens because men in our culture are inherently homophobic and transphobic. It's somewhat unusual to see this in a trans person though.

You said:

But 2 people with gender dysphoria=hot mess

Oh really? What about someone who's transitioned, moved on with their lives and basically has no dysphoria? Once again you've made an incorrect assumption.

You have a lot to learn my friend.

[Guest Jaques]

if we transition, move on and have no dysphoria, it wouldnt bother us if someone discovered we were transgender - i feel with some people it might still cause them to feel upset, so therefore if that were the case, they would still be experiencing dysphoria............

[Guest Kai Reddtail]

If you have to use "other straight dudes think so" as a defense I think your argument is weak. It makes it look like you're leaning on this defense because you know people will think discriminating against transwomen in dating is wrong of you, but you say "other guys do it" to make it so you don't feel bad. This is not about random straight guys, you are asking whether other people think it's bad that YOU pass over transwomen as dating prospects, so I think it's best to leave other people out of the argument.

Facts are, that if you consider yourself attracted to women but exclude transwomen, you are categorizing them differently and essentially as "not really women," and that is wrong for starters. I'm not putting words in your mouth here, this is straight up what people are going to interpret. That is what people are seeing here, that is why you're getting people's backs up.

Nobody can make you change your view on this, but I'm telling you, if you continue to view things like this for the rest of your life you will have such a narrow view and you will miss out. I guarantee this kind of thinking pervades more in your life than just dating transwomen.

Everybody is different, you can't guarantee that you will have those specific problems when dating a transgender woman. You can't guarantee just about anything in a new relationship. You could be more compatible with a transwoman than a ciswoman. Or maybe you'd try dating a transwoman and you'd find those things do get in the way for that relationship, but maybe with another transwoman it doesn't. The only way to find out what a relationship would be like with someone if you're interested in them is to go for it.

Seriously, say you started dating a girl, found out you really liked her, went out with her for a while, and then eventually she tells you she's transgender. You would then break it off, even though it was going perfectly, only because she's transgender? That's truly and simply discriminatory, and it's even worse coming from another transgender person. How would you feel from a similar perspective?

Take it from someone who once thought they were exclusively gay, love and relationships are things that can find ways to surprise you and change your life in ways you never pictured. I never thought I'd be in a relationship with a girl, and now I am and I am the happiest I have ever been.

In short: to be completely honest, I personally do think it's bad that you pass over transwomen for dating prospects as a rule. Because:
1) I think you are not treating them as the women they deserve to be treated as.
2) You cannot assume things will fail before you know the person for things like that.

That's my $0.02, whether it makes a difference or not. I can't make you change your mind or date transwomen, but you asked what people thought so here it is.

[Guest Kai Reddtail]

I also think that, whether you are entirely conscious of it or not, you also believe it's bad you overlook MtFs in dating.

Because why else would you pose this question to us?
If you truly believed that there was nothing wrong with excluding transwomen from your dating pool, then you wouldn't bother asking people whether it was bad. This thread is basically a method of looking for reassurance that this is okay because somewhere in your brain you're not sure that it is. So there's that to think about, too.

[Guest Jay Smooth]

I mean I think its fine, We all have are prefrences, I really wasn't trying o offend anyone, Sorry if I did, I do consider transwoman transwoman, I just feel better dating straight ciswomen because it makes me feel more normal and happier because of he acceptance

[Sakura]

There are two aspects of a relationship, the domestic portion , two people cohabitating to further a common goal , and the sexual aspect of a relationship. Both have equal baring to the health of a relationship. in some instances sexual attraction happens first. in which both parties are drawn together based on their partners physical lay out and attractiveness to them respectively , and then the domectic portion happens . in many the domestic portion happens first , it can happen in a number of ways, people working together.... chatting together. sharing a common space . building a non sexual relationship, that can and often times does over ride ones physical preference in a sexual partner . meaning caring and loving some one enough that thier flaws become transparent to you. or at least their pyshical ones.

Specifically your question. While i do not see it as a bad thing that you do not wish to have a relationship with some one who's body does not fit your ideal of the type of woman you want to be with. just state that " while i do consider trans women female. i am just not physically attracted to male genitaila so i feel it is not something i could personally get over and have meaningfull healthy relationship with a trans woman " and left it at that. I could respect that .

But what you have done is present your opinion in the form of back handed compliments , and more back hand than complement.

the mantra that you chant " No offence " coupled with your other Mantra " and Straight men wouldn't date trans women either " is very telling of your true intentions. your attempts to skirt around what ever it is that you are just itching to say. is as transparent to me as glass.

No offence , but every thing you say your opinions your thoughts on the subject of MTFs AND FTMs i might add ( i have read your other posts ) sound like Every Hurtfull, mysogynistic, transphobic , homophobic, bigoted and ignorant male argument against why Mtfs and Ftms are not really female or male , that has been spouted out by Every Hurtfull, mysogynistic, transphobic , homophobic, bigoted and ignorant male. i have ever come in contact with . You are either being intentionally insulting or not smart enough to realize you are putting your foot in your mouth every time you open it . i really hope it is the latter. but i suspect that it is likely not.

Sakura

[Guest Leah1026]

I mean I think its fine, We all have are prefrences, I really wasn't trying o offend anyone, Sorry if I did, I do consider transwoman transwoman, I just feel better dating straight ciswomen because it makes me feel more normal and happier because of he acceptance

I have to believe you're trolling at this point.

1. It's not a preference, you're being prejudiced.

2. Transsexual women are women, period.

3. "me feel more normal". So you're saying transsexual women aren't normal.

I'm not responding to this thread again; I just wanted to make it clear you ain't fooling anybody.

[Guest Jay Smooth]

Im not trolling at all, But if thats what belileve then fine, Again everyon has their preferences, Just because I won''t date a transwoman doesnt mean I don't see you as one, Never said that, You misread, I said I would feel more happier and normal with a straight cisgendered female, And Im wasnot ever being transphobic or homophobic, I do have beliefs, Just because someone might not agree wiith it doesnt mean their transphobic or homophobic.

[Carolyn Marie]

Jay, why don't you give it a rest? After 66 replies, I don't think anything new is going to come of this subject, and you are clearly enjoying stirring the pot, which is boiling over.

Carolyn Marie