Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Am I transgendered


Guest G_Unit

Recommended Posts

Hi Ladies..

My name is Stacy Anne.. I have been a Cross Dresser for quite sometime. I've always wondered if I was TG. Well most recently I've been questioning that even more because of feelings I get at random times. These are feelings I have never in my life felt before. I'm left wondering why I feel this way and what does it mean. The feelings can be described like the actual feeling of body parts being changed, even though I know it can't physically happen on their own, and other body parts growing where they should be growing. This feeling has been going on and off throughout the entire day today. Sometimes it's stronger than other times and sometimes it's weaker. I don't really know what to think and I haven't gotten a call back from my therapist to set up a time to have him help me figure some of this out. So I'm turning here for now. Maybe someone here can help me figure out what exactly it is I'm feeling and why I feel that way. So please, any help with this is greatly appreciated. Thanks for your time ladies.

Stacy Anne.

Link to comment

Well girl friend, I don't really know the answer. The coolest thing about feelings is we can feel them. They can be weird sometimes and wonderful others. Maybe the girl in you is waking up fully and it is her time to explore those feelings. Run with it and don't do anything off the wall until you meet your GT. Giggle. JodyAnn

Link to comment

BTW, I know HRT shouldn't change bone structure but I sweat at two years HRT I could feel my pelvis growing wider. Probably wishful thinking, but it works for me. Giggle. Hug. Jody

Link to comment

Thanks Jody Ann.. My therapist is a certified Gender Therapist. So Hopefully he can help me figure out everything. I may have to call my therapist again to see when I can see him.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Please dear take your time here. Seeing your GT is the right way to go for sure. In the end you are the one to decide on your path. There is no ranking system and that is important to consider. Just try to be yourself. No magic answers, i wish there were. Just a slow growth into understanding of oneself. Eventually many doubts faded for me and the road became clear. Your path may be different. Best to remember the adage "it's the path not the destination". We are always in flux. Try to enjoy the ride. It can be a wild one.

Hugs,

Charlie

Link to comment

Hi Stacy Anne,

We each probably have a little different idea as to what it means to be Transgendered, as our experiences and research are unique. Being Transgendered covers a pretty broad spectrum. As Charlie mentioned, please take your time. There is a lot to discuss and think about.

Huggs,

Opal

Link to comment

Maybe paint your nails while you are waiting? Giggle. Sally Hansen Diamond Strength in Platinum #130 is a color that you can sneak past the boys. It is very translucent and your natural nails show well. Hug. Jody

Link to comment

I'll have to do that when I get a manicure.. Cause I really need one. Good thing I can get one next month. I happen to do the worst thing a girl can do to her nails. That's chew them. I've honestly infected one of my fingers cause I chewed the nail down so much. Not really proud of it but it happened. Hasn't happened since. But that's only due to the anxiety meds I'm on and mood stabilizers as well. It's not entirely controlled but it's better. So getting myself a manicure will be a big help for me. Cause I don't really trust myself to give myself one cause the products I would want to use aren't sold in normal stores like Wal-Mart. They are only sold in beauty supply stores. Plus my mom has a close friend that owns her own salon that would probably be happy to give me a manicure and paint my nails for me. So I'll let you gals know how it goes.

Stacy Anne.

Link to comment

Oh, let me make mention I had that problem too. I started with the clear nail biting polish. Whoa does it work! One little nibble and you will be trying to get the rude taste off your tongue. Soon you won't want to go there. Hug. Jody

Link to comment

Jody.. I've actually tried that and had it not work. My mom tried that when I was younger and it honestly didn't work. I chewed them anyways. Nothing really has worked expect a manicure when my fingers were looking really crappy. I don't bite them very often anymore.. But when I do I kind of go to town on them. I mean I may not get them infected anymore but still, I tear off what I can get at. So I've been looking for something to actually use to help stop me from biting them. I've really tried everything humanly possible.. All the way down to gum.. Though that was quite expensive. So I gave up on that. I'm just glad it's as controlled as it is with the anxiety meds. So, yeah, if you can think of something else that may work I'm all ears.

Stacy

Link to comment

No answers here, but be sure and take your prenatal vitamins. They are so good for healthy nails and hair growth. You don't have to be expecting and they won't get you pregnant. LOL! Jody

Link to comment

Doctors no longer prescribe then usually, because the over the counter ones are just as strong and work good. So any Pharmacy, large chain grocery, or a WalMart, CVS, Walgreens, whatever is close by. I can say they are the only vitamins that I ever noticed visible results from.

Link to comment

Giggle. Right off my bottle. Nature Made- Multi Prenatal, 90 tablets for less than ten bucks. You can use any brand name, all will have the key word Prenatal. It takes about two to three weeks to see any results. Trust that they are the good stuff. If you can't find them in the usual vitamin section, look in the baby section. Once you get the knack of tracking them down you will find them everywhere. Hug. Jody

Link to comment
Guest LizMarie

Whether you are "transgender" or not depends on who you ask and what definition of the word you use. In the broadest sense, cross dressers are often considered transgender, for example. But does that mean they have gender identity dysphoria (GID)? Some do and some don't. And those that do may see sufficient relief from the GID just by cross dressing that they feel no need to make further changes in their lives.

Others may suffer more deeply from GID and need more or different treatments to address it. In some cases, GID is sufficiently deep and problematic that performing a social role transition (often along with associated medical and surgical treatments) is called for.

Don't assume anything because you have certain feelings. They don't change who you are inside. The most important thing you can do is find whatever you need to live happily with yourself. If that's working as a man in women's fashion, then do that! If it's cross dressing, then do that. If it's writing female centric fiction, then do that. And if it's transitioning, then do that. But don't do things you don't need to do.

Take your time. Figure yourself out first. Find out what works for you.

Link to comment

thanks for that LizMarie. I've been slowly trying to figure myself out.. Just so unsure where to really start. Kind of think the first step is getting a place of my own again so I can do what I want, when I want. Living with a roommate that happens to be my best friend hasn't really worked out all the time. Because of certain reasons. I live around a lot of elderly people who are pretty well set in their ways. So discovering what makes me happy around them is kind of difficult. So maybe that's my real first step is moving to a place where being me is more socially accepted than it is in a small town. So maybe that is what I really need to do.. Move away from it all and discover who I am and what works for me. What ever that is.

Link to comment

Ladies,

When I think about how I truly feel on the inside it's like I know what the answer is just I'm afraid to admit to not only my friends and family, but to myself. Yes, I have thought long and hard about what the true answer is, probably for the past 2-3 weeks on and on and off basis. So maybe moving is what I really need to do. To make myself happy.

Link to comment
Guest LizMarie

If you decide to move, try to choose a reasonably large city, just to have a wide diversity of services available. Try to find employment with a company that has pro-GLBT policies in place. Securing your income and your privacy will give you a wealth of opportunities to experiment and to discover yourself.

Link to comment

Gals, would it mean something different if I knew for like a 75% surety that back when my Freshman year of High School started is when I really started feeling different.. As in I started to identify as a girl more than a boy and that has been the case since?

Link to comment
Guest LizMarie

No, it wouldn't means anything at all.

There are people who only realize their gender issues later in life. There are those of us who have known all our lives. And there are all sorts of people in between.

When you make that connection can be impacted by the degree of your dysphoria, by your socialization (which may have emphasized male so heavily that you simply shoved the rest aside), and by multiple other factors as well. Also, dysphoria can vary in degree over the years. I was like a sine wave. There were years I was miserable and years when things were tolerable, until I finally hit a wall where the misery brought me to the edge of suicide. My GID impacted my marriage. At its worst, my GID made me loathe myself that there were periods of weeks, months, and even once over a year, where I was not intimate with my spouse, yet I managed to father three children.

Dysphoria is usually not a constant. You may find that your dysphoria can be managed by other means or that it goes away if you allow yourself X (whatever X might be). Or, you may find yourself needing to transition.

But when you realize you are dysphoric doesn't mean much by itself.

Link to comment

Well I'm not sure I'm at that point yet, but I do notice some major confusion going on.. I was at my therapist today who happens to be a GT and he noticed some points that I was confused with. So I'll be going back for a few sessions to see if we can clear it all up.I just know I've not felt the same since Freshman Year of High School

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   6 Members, 0 Anonymous, 192 Guests (See full list)

    • Jamey-Heather
    • Maddee
    • SamC
    • Vidanjali
    • violet r
    • MaryEllen
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      767.9k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,014
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Quillian
    Newest Member
    Quillian
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. l.demiurge
      l.demiurge
  • Posts

    • Maddee
    • KathyLauren
      One of our cats is polydactyl.  He has 7 toes on each front paw and 5 on each back paw, for 24 toes total.   Another one, an ex-feral who, at the time, was free to roam, climbed 50 feet up a tree without having any thought about how he was going to get down.  His pal climed down backwards, but he couldn't.  He ended up coming down by leaping from branch to branch.  Which nearly gave us heart attacks, because he only has one eye and therefore has no depth perception.   The other ex-feral (both are now indoor cats) obviously does not have those soft pads on his feet.  At night, when we are in bed, we can hear him stomping around the house.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      The two o'clock Onshoring meeting was going well.  Taylor was leading, inviting other people up to speak on their specialties. Aerial photogrammetry and surveying, including the exact boundary, were out for contract signature  Gibson had handled that - Manufacturing was supposed to, but somehow hadn't happened.  Legal issues from Legal. Accounting reported on current costs, including all upkeep, guard salaries, etc.  Manufacturing was supposed to give those numbers, but they hadn't.   The downside was the VP of Manufacturing.  He had arrived at the meeting red-faced, his tie askew, clutching a bottle. It smelled strongly of vodka. He had never done anything in his twenty years of being VP of Manufacturing, and he did not like being asked now.   "Mr. ----, do you have the inventory we asked for?" Taylor asked politely.  VP Gibson had asked him to have his people go through the plant and not only inventory but assess the operational status of every piece of equipment.  They needed to know what they had. "I'm not going to take any f---- orders from a g-d- tra---," he snarled. "God knows what kind of perverts it has dragged into our fair city and bangs every night." "That is completely out of line." That was Gibson.  Taylor controlled herself.  That was a shot at Bob, not just at Taylor.  She was glad Bob was not there to do something stupid.  Had Mrs. McCarthy been talking? What had she said?  Was she given to embellishment?  Taylor took a deep breath. "I'm not sorry.  You f--- can take this stupid onshoring --- and shove it up your -" "That is quite enough."  This was the head of HR. "You can take your sissy ways and sashay -" "You are fired." "You can't fire me." "Oh, yes I can," said the office manager.  The VP took another swig from his bottle. "Try it."  He looked uncertain. "I will have you removed.  Are you going to leave on your own?  I am calling the police to help you leave." And he dialed the number. He stomped out cursing. They heard him noisily go down the hall.  This was the front conference room.  He actually went through security and out the door, throwing his badge on the ground on his way.  The guard picked it up. They could see this through the glass wall. "Can you fire a VP?" "The Board told me that if anyone gives me problems they should be shown the door. Even a VP.  I can fire everyone here. I won't, of course. Those were problems." "Are you alright, Taylor?" She nodded.  "I've heard worse.  Shall we continue?" And they did.   The last item was that certain business people in China had been arrested, and the corporation that had been supporting them all these years had been dissolved.  They were on their own, and the Board was dead serious on straightening things out.  After this meeting, Taylor believed it.  She did not attend the meeting to discuss how to distribute the few duties the VP of Manufacturing had done.  That was ultimately up to the Board.    
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Lunch was at Cabaret, still free.  The place was quiet: it was the sort of place you took a business client to impress them, and the few other people were in business suits.  Most of the legal profession was there.   She told him of the morning's frustrations, breaking her own rule about confidentiality.  She asked Karen how the branding was going, and Karen had snapped back that she had not started on it yet - they had all these proposals.  Taylor had explained that it was important, for the two o'clock meeting, and Karen told her to do it herself.  Karen pointed out that Taylor could not touch her - her uncle was on the Board and her brother was VP of Manufacturing.  Nor would the two computer guys go out to the plant - they were playing some kind of MMORPG and simply not available. If she wanted the pictures, she should go.  Mary prayed an Ave Maria, but both she and Brenda were racing to get the proposal out. The client wanted it Friday for review.   She didn't bring up what Mrs. McCarthy had told her.  She wasn't sure how to approach it.  She thought of telling her of a 'something more comfortable' she had bought in case he ever DID show up at her door. It was in the bottom drawer of her dresser, ready to go.  Instead she talked about moving to a place with a garage.  Several of the abandoned houses had one, and they had been maintained well with China cash.   Bob had finally realized that when he was introduced as Bob, Taylor's boyfriend, that was just how things were done here. Other people had introduced each other in terms of family relationships, which were strong.  Long before you found out anything else about someone, you knew how they were related.  Family kept people from leaving Millville.    "What is the real name of this town, anyway?"   She laughed.  "I am trying to find that out.  It's 'Welcome to Millvale' when you come into town from the north, and 'Welcome to Millville' on the south.  I have counted two other variants."   "What a town. Roosevelt is like that, with the families, but there is only one spelling."  
    • Ashley0616
      Nothing wrong with that. I'm glad that you found what makes you happy! Just curious what does your wife think? If it's too personal I understand.
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
      – According to a recent survey, the most popular name for a dog is Max. Other popular names include Molly, Sam, Zach, and Maggie.
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
      Either new environment/ not potty trained
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Bob was on his way home from the dojo and he "just happened" to driver by her place. It was 10:30.  Her light was still on.  He knew exactly where she was sitting.  He saw her in his mind.   A fierce wave of desire that took his breath away suddenly showed up. All he had to do was stop, get out of the car, walk to the door and knock.  She would answer, glad to see him.  She would know why he was there and what he wanted. She would invite him in, maybe get him something to drink, disappear for a moment and return in "something more comfortable."  She would lead him back. Oh, joy.   And never, ever speak to him again afterwards.  Or she would not let him in but be angry about it.  In no way, emotionally, physically, mentally or spiritually, was she ready for this, and he knew it, if he was honest with himself, and she knew he knew it.  She would look upon it as another assault and their relationship would be irretrievably broken.  He would have to leave town. It would devastate her. It would devastate him.    He fought himself.  He was frozen to his seat as his reason and his body fought. He was twenty four years old, a full-blooded male with normal desires; he had just worked out and he was ready.  All he had to do now was open the car door. No one would know. He held his hands, one in the other, to keep one from moving, against his reason and will, to open that door.  He did not want to be a slave of his desires.   He looked across the street.  Mrs. McCarthy, sister of his landlord, was peeking though her window.  She knew his car.  Everyone in town would know by noon the next day if he got out of the car.  Taylor did not need that, either, and she would know, if he came to the door now, what a selfish thing it would be: in his own eyes, in the eyes of Taylor, in the eyes of the town, and worst of all, in the eyes of God.   He sat there a moment longer.  He was, as he reflected, entering into her sufferings in a small way that she would be made whole, healthy and happy: what he wanted more than anything.  But this hurt.  Why had all this come on her?  He asked God again, but there was only silence. He drove home in that silence. He chided himself for even going on her street and for driving on it other nights.  He would stop that, he told himself.   ------------------------------------------   The next morning Taylor went out to her car to go to work.  Mrs. McCarthy met her before she got to it. "I thought you were going to get lucky last night, dearie," she said. Taylor was puzzled. "Why, what do you mean?" "That young fellow - you know, Bob - he's been driving around here, going up and down the street some nights, not stopping.  Well, last night he parked and sat in his car for a while.   I think he was staring at your window.  I think he was trying to get up the courage to knock on the door. I was rooting for him.   But then he drove away.  Faint heart never won fair lady, as they say. What a shame. You two are a lovely couple.  Well, have a good day!" "Thank you, Mrs. McCarthy."  Taylor knew Bob extremely well and knew what had been going through his mind.  She was more than grateful he had not gotten out of the car. Better for him, better for her, better for everybody.  Surgery "down there" sooner than later.  This was driving the poor boy crazy. It was driving her crazy, too.  But she had a lot to work through. Surgery "up here" she said, pointing to her head.  She woke up her therapist on the way to work.  They were still talking when she pulled into her designated parking spot.  That was a perk that had happened yesterday.  She took a deep breath and headed into work. It would be another wild day.
    • Ashley0616
      bittersweet: especially : pleasure accompanied by suffering or regret
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I'm thinking about some interactions yesterday I did, while presenting as male but acting as female, that were far better than I did when I was presenting as male and acting as male.  #girlunderhood. I do a crappy job at acting as male and I am giving it up.  I am not talking about feminine gestures or presentation but just relating as a woman.  People don't realize I am doing it but it is a whole lot easier to do.   You don't just put on a dress and BOOM you are a girl.  You are a girl and you put on a dress.  Or not. Whether I am in jeans or a skirt (I wish, wife would have lots to say) I am a girl.  I don't need $250 in makeup and heels and hose and all that.  I don't need surgery. Honey, I have arrived.  Now I have to work out how that best works in my life, causing the minimal damage and creating the maximum good, but I have more working room.   Oh, and I am still pissed off at everyone and everything. #Contradictory.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      @Willow it is certainly possible that my husband planned it. Placing me in the path of an opportunity....he certainly does things like that. GF has done some work for the company as an outside consultant, so I'm sure the company owner knows what potential resources are around.    It could also have just happened randomly. He has taken me to work with him before, just because he likes to have me around. I remember one time that I fell asleep with my head in his lap, and he held a meeting with his subordinates without waking me and making me move.  The company culture is family oriented and relaxed.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      The photo is great.  Software is phenomenal but it also is sort of a promise of things to come. Years ago this sort of thing took a photographer and Photoshop and all sorts of things and you would say, "I can look like THIS??"   Me, I am a duck.  That's from my driver's license.  Just kidding.
    • MaeBe
      I lucked into that picture. I took like 10 before that, which appropriately make me look like a donkey. ;)   Thank you so much for the compliment!
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...