Hi there

[Guest Greg_THX1138]

I'm just a guy with an unfortunate medical issue. Someone stole my "Y" and left a second "X" instead. That wouldn't be all that bad except for the fact that a lot of stuff I really dislike came with that second "X" and a lot of other stuff was lost along with the missing "Y".

Other than that, I am just your average guy. Well, one way I am a bit odd: I am a gamer. Yep, a 51 year old gamer. I'm the oldest person in my guild.

I have been a chatter for a long time under this name and finally decided to make a forum account when I noticed that trans poetry is allowed on this site. It remains to be seen if I can post any of my stuff... I will ask a moderator first. If not, I'm sure there's other things I can join in on.

I am 51, untransitioned, can't pass. My health has never allowed me to medically transition and that second "X" came along with exaggerated female characteristics, the worst being somewhere over a DD chest (that hurts from fibroids bad enough to not tolerate any compression), "great child bearing hips", and all that stuff. I ask people replying to me to, please, accept my word that I have tried everything, spoken to doctors, etc. I can't medically transition.

In one way I am extremely lucky: I have a very loving cisgendered s/o who sees past the flesh suit I wear to the real man I am. We have been together for many years and she's the reason I keep on keeping on.

Along with hoping to post some poems, I am here (and in the chatroom) with the goal to keep on keeping on, which is sometimes very, very difficult. Sometimes its a day to day battle, sometimes an hour to hour battle.

Well, enough rattling on.

Greg

[Cyndee]

Welcome Greg to Laura's playground and thanks for your intro.

I'd gladly trade you my Y for your second X and who knows someday it may be possible ?

Post away here in our forums, after 5 posts you may begin to use private messaging with other members.

I hope you enjoy your time here

Hugs

Cynthia -

[Guest ChefErik93]

welcome greg! we are a fun group of people but we can also help you in your down times. it is wonderful to hear that your s/o is so supportive of you. support is something that we all need! keeping on can be a day to day battle. especially for someone who cannot medically transition.

i will tell you the same thing i tell to people i know...life sucks sometimes. i do not sugar coat things. what i can tell you is that there are still options for you. i don't know what they are but i believe everyone has options. i can also tell you that we can help you as well as your s/o giving you support.

laura's has helped me a lot here recently and i hope it can do the same for you!

i look forward to your poems! keep your head up and keep on keeping on as you say.

once again, welcome to the forums,

Erik

[Guest frida314]

Hi Greg, welcome. There is a comment about you can't transition and can't pass. In general terms, how has that worked out? I ask, as I am really locked up, being retired, married and just figured out I never was the guy person. I'm thinking my future options are quite different from the younger gen here. How does one handle feelings in one gender and physically other? Hope it was ok to ask.

[Guest miss kindheart]

Hi Greg,

<<< hug >>>

Good to see you finally made it over here to forums

vanna

[Guest Carla_Davis]

Hi Greg,

Welcome to Laura's Playground Forums.

First let me congratulate your SO for being so Accepting and Loving YOU for being YOU.

Please give her a kiss for me.

You are very fortunate to have a caring SO.

As for Posting your Trans Poetry, if it doesn't violate the T & C at the bottom of the page, Post away.

If there is a problem, the Moderators will get back to you if there is a problem. They ARE very friendly.

There ARE many FTM here, so you will have many friends.

Hugs,

Carla

[Guest LizMarie]

Welcome to Laura's, Greg! You just be you. That's enough for us, if it's enough for you.

[Guest Opal]

Hi Greg, and welcome to Laura's! Hope you continue to post as you can and feel comfortable in doing so. Some of the other members are gamers, and there is a gamers' section in the Forums, but you may already know that.

Oh, I also saw that you have an interest in Steampunk. I do not know very much about it, but Johnny (JJ) , and some others here sure do! Sounds like fun!

Hugs,

Opal

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to the Playground, Greg. Whether or not you have or can transition is irrelevant to us. What's important is for you to learn and grow, ask questions, post comments, and feel free to be yourself. This is a pretty good place for that. i look forward to reading your stuff.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Greg_THX1138]

@Cynthia Rae: oh, how I wish it was possible.

I do not know if my poems are going to be appropriate here. Only a couple are, based on the language I used, inappropriate, however, all of them reflect my... not that good... mental state.

@ChefErik93: that is kind but, please, I ask you to trust me when I say I have tried everything. I really am not up to going through what I have tried.

My s/o is a great support.

@frida314: it has not worked out well and is worsening as I age. I have been dancing on the razor's edge for some time now because it would hurt my s/o. I am a walking knot of dysporia and self-hate.

I have heard of older people managing to, at least, pass so, while my situation is not good, that does not mean your situation is also destined to follow my path.

@Vanna: thank you. I should be in chat again relatively soon.

@Carla_Davis: I am not sure my poetry is going to fit, as I explained above for the same reason I cannot talk much in chat other than the few 1 - 1 chats I have had.

And yes, my s/o is my reason for life.

@LizMarie: thank you. Sadly the mental state I am in negates being fully "me".

@Opal: I will look around and see if there are corners I fit. I have not been up to doing so yet. As far as steampunk, yes, its a blast. If you have read Jules Verne, you have a good idea as to what it is.

@Carolyn Marie: thank you much. I shall see how much I can post and, since I will be on moderated posting for 3 more after this, I think I will take advantage of that and post a poem or two.

[Guest ChefErik93]

i understand that you have tried. i hope that you can find the support that you need here

Erik

[Guest Rebecca A]

Welcome to Laura's Greg,

I'm glad you made it over to the forums side of things and glad to hear you have a wonderful s/o that helps support you. We all need love and support. :: hugs ::

[gennee]

Hi Greg and welcome to Laura's.