Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

A Wry Assessment Of Shopping Mall Restrooms During Shopping Season


VickySGV

Recommended Posts

  • Admin

Yesterday was an absolute must to get my acrylic nails filled and one replaced due to some nail fungus issues I could see through a spot where I had accidently removed the nail polish. My nail salon is in one of the So, Calif major shopping malls and yesterday was Veterans Day which is the sneak preview of the holiday shopping season, also kids off school and a motion picture complex in the mall equals one heckuva crowd.

An added note to this story is that this mall attracts folks from one of the conservative hotbed locations that had extensive coverage by the petition gatherers that claim they have enough signatures to qualify a repeal initiative of a Trans* rights at schools bill for a general vote of the public in 2014. A resident male lawyer and repeal proponent who made some local news rag pages declaring young "males" in womens restrooms was an affront to his diety has been cited on other TG web sites was cited as a local hero there. (I hold my breath as I drive through that area).

A good lunch with three large glasses of iced tea (unsweetened) and then the hour in the nail salon having to sit and keep my hands still while the nails are worked on and polish dried, and I needed to hit the women's room for one of life's necessities. I was number twelve in line before going in the dog leg entry way when I got there. The woman in the second spot in front of me had two cis males of approximately 4 to 6 years old in tow headed into the ladies room. As we moved forward to where I could see inside the actual doorway, I counted another 12 young cis-male urchins, with buzz cuts or obvious male hair cuts, and even a couple with near sexist T shirts on. Only one similar age cis female was in the line with an older sister. At one point before I got in to use a toilet, every stall in that restroom had a young age cis male in it albeit with parent (I think ??).

Upon exiting the womens' room where I smiled and was helpful to one of the mothers, and to another lady about to drop her bags, with nary a suspicious look or question of my right to be there, I saw where all the 4-6 year old cis females were. They were in a line going toward the men's room with whom I hoped were fathers or known male relatives. There were almost NO cis male young ones headed that way. Sheer statistical numbers tell me that there was at least one bathroom odd couple in each restroom from Conservativeville. There was no outrage and no evidence of societal crumbling and debauchery going on it seemed. So where was this attorney with angst of a diety to proclaim at parents? Probably at home with a beer that his religious leader would join him for and then denounce from a pulpit the next day, while his spouse was taking their 6 year old son into a mall ladies room because they do not trust the men in that room. The young cis males in the women's room were not interested in seeing crotch anatomy, they just had to GO. I suppose it was the same way down the hall. (I would not have wanted to hit on one of the men I saw there.

The point is that these children are the same age that some of our profile young Trans* people who are now coming out are. One of the cis boy's in my line avoided the looks from the one young girl, and was not curious about what she looked like underneath.

I ended up the day with $60 worth of cosmetics from Sephora as I was mulling over the bathroom scenes I had seen again.

Link to comment
Guest LizMarie

The Pacific Justice Institute and other such hate groups are deliberately trying to sexualize young children's usage of the rest room. That's the story in a nutshell, Vicky. By painting every 6 year old or 11 year old transgirl as a potential rapist, they incite irrational fears, leading to much stupidity and, more importantly, lots of political dollar contributions to the hate groups.

In the end, that's what this is all about. PJI and others aren't in this for any real moral reasons. They are in this for power and money.

There's more that should be said about this entire bathroom law nonsense but I won't say it here.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Vicki, I think that story might make a good letter to the editor, but maybe just don't mention you are trans. On second thought maybe state that as well.

Hugs,

Charlie

Link to comment
Guest KimberlyF

I've often noticed that people who prejudge whole large groups as one seem to flock together and feed off of each other. They'll make numerous suppositions and spread many half truths because they lack self-esteem and/or self-worth so they try to find it by pushing down others while in the safety of a supportive environment.

Link to comment

I have never had a second glance when using the ladies rest room. On the other hand I can imagine what would happen if I went into the men's room.

PJI is truly a hate group. I wonder what they think goes on in a women's restroom? They must have very dirty minds or some mixed up fantasies.

Mia

Link to comment
Guest DianeATL

Vicky,

This post is so ridiculous. Everyone knows that the minute women walk into their restroom, they completely disrobe and run around naked in the public area. And everyone knows that if someone with physical equipment other than theirs walks in, they will be there for one thing only, to have sex and destroy society. <removing tongue from cheek now>

Great points. I remember having to take my daughter to a men's room at a basketball game where she was at that awkward age of being too young to go by herself but too curious about what those men were doing standing along the wall. I ushered her quickly into a stall and got back out as quickly as possible but in fact was guilty of taking a wrong gender into the washroom.

Having been in a few ladies rooms, I can say there is nothing to see. Maybe primping their hair or make up but nothing in the general area. If someone did go in and invade the private space of the stall, then they should be prosecuted for that regardless of gender. It's the actions not the gender or equipment that would be the focus of the authorities.

I agree, you should make this a letter to the editor.

Hugs

Diane

Link to comment
  • Who's Online   11 Members, 0 Anonymous, 123 Guests (See full list)

    • EasyE
    • Adrianna Danielle
    • RaineOnYourParade
    • Susie
    • Ashley0616
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • Mmindy
    • mattie22
    • April Marie
    • Ivy
    • Petra Jane
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      768.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,020
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Tami
    Newest Member
    Tami
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Bebhar
      Bebhar
      (41 years old)
    2. caelensmom
      caelensmom
      (40 years old)
    3. Jani
      Jani
      (70 years old)
    4. Jessicapitts
      Jessicapitts
      (37 years old)
    5. klb046
      klb046
      (30 years old)
  • Posts

    • Adrianna Danielle
      I hope so and glad he loves and accepts me for who I am
    • EasyE
      It is sad that we can't have more open and honest dialogue on these types of topics because there is worthy debate for sure. But instead we have become a country where the only goal is to seize political power and then legislate our particular agenda and views of morality.   Remember as you read my thoughts below, that I am transgender. OK? I am pro-trans. I am trans.   But my middle school aged daughter would be extremely uncomfortable using a school bathroom also used by a biological male, as would nearly all of her friends. That side has to be considered. It's not invalidating to a trans youth's experience to take that into account and hash out what is for the common good of as many people as possible. This is reality - one person's gender expression makes others uncomfortable, in all directions. And there is disagreement on the best way to handle these types of things.   Why can't we talk about these things openly, without the inevitable name-calling that follows, and let all sides have their input and work up suitable solutions? (I bet the kids, if left alone, would work up the best solutions)... Instead, we go straight to trying to pass laws, as if we need more of those!   And why wouldn't we want parents to know if their child has decided to change their pronouns? That's a big deal and parents are right to raise that as a concern. I certainly would want to know. Not that we need to legislate this, but I would have a hard time with school administrators who try to hide this from me. They are out of line. This is my child. Whether you like my viewpoints or not, I am the parent. Not the school.    Again, I am pro-trans. I am trans. At the same point, I recognize that validating a transgender individual's gender identity doesn't trump everything else in society. And sometimes I see that creeping into these discussions. Plus, we fight a losing battle if we have to have others' validation. We are never going to get it from everybody. Ever. Not even Jesus got it and He is God himself!   This country can be very beautiful as we each exercise our freedom to be who we are and let others do the same. But my freedom ends where yours begins and vice-versa. That requires self-sacrifice. Sometimes we have to fall back out of respect for others. Sometimes we have to let the parent be the parent even if we disagree with their politics.   My cry in the wilderness is just can we please have more open, honest dialogue where both sides try take the other's views into consideration and quit automatically going the legislative route to criminalize the other side's viewpoints.   Sorry for the rant but sometimes all of this wears me out... deep sigh... 
    • RaineOnYourParade
      Bite by bite, acrobatics in abdomen
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Yesterday when I put that shirt on I saw a woman looking back out of the mirror at me.  Usually I have looked and been very frustrated because I see a man where there should be a woman.  I was expecting to see a man wearing a woman's shirt, but it was a woman wearing a woman's shirt.   On the spectrum between intersex and trans, I am more thinking I am a lot more intersex than trans, and it is only a matter of time before my wife says "you need a bra" and then "you look like a woman!" She told me whatever I want to do is fine with her, she loves me no matter what, and I am thinking that there may be a lot more for her in this than she could possibly expect. I'm not pushing it with her.
    • Petra Jane
      We have been asked to post this study.   I'm an undergraduate university student in my third year completing a BSc in Anthropology. I'm working on my dissertation, looking at languages with grammatical gender (e.g. languages like Italian and Spanish, nouns are either masculine or feminine). I'm curious if this affects/bothers people with gender identities outside the typical binary of male and female, like non-binary or transgender identities. Using this forum, I would be very grateful if anyone could answer the 5 questions I have put together in a Google form, they are open-ended questions, and you can be as brief or detailed as you want/comfortable with! All responses will also be kept anonymous. As you can probably guess, I came to online forums because finding participants in person is difficult. Talking about gender identities, I understand, can be very personal, so this online anonymised format can be safer. :) If anyone is also particularly interested in this topic, it would be awesome to message one-on-one and do the Google form survey. Having one and one interviews would also be good research! But NONE of this is compulsory, and only if anyone is interested and doesn't mind helping me out and can do so. Institution Supervising Research Study University of Kent Web Address for Study Participation https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdS9zU_dt3RR1V8-3s_0EnDl6w-jsS6-WOZO41uWeqUP0q_YQ/viewform?usp=sf_link
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
      @Mia MarieI found this    Here are critical resources to help transgender seniors face the challenges of growing older - LGBTQ Nation   As far as financial aid I came up empty. :( I'm sorry. I can only imagine what you are going through. 
    • Ashley0616
      @Adrianna Daniellecongratulations to you and your boyfriend! Hopefully a future wedding in the future!   @WillowI'm sorry about that he passed away. He sounded like a role model that others should follow.   @MmindyI'm sorry about your head cold! Hopefully it won't last too long and hope for good rest and recovery. 
    • Mmindy
      Good morning Mia,   This is a great question, and I'm looking forward to the input from others.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Mia Marie
      I see more and more postings with what the LGBTQ support organizations are doing and I see less and less about helping the older generation of us. All I really see is them wanting to help transgender youths and no matter how many times I ask for help, they tell me they can't help or they tell me the office I contacted only works with the youth only. Is there an organization that helps older transgender people? All I find when I do a search turns out with nothing more than talking about trans youths. I feel as though us older trasn folks are being left out. I applied for financial help in a form of a grant, twice, and was turned down with no explanations of why. They did ask me to help go over applications which told me I was automatically denied. Really doesn't seem fair, does it?  
    • Ivy
      Require students to use bathrooms that align with the gender they were assigned at birth Prohibit transgender girls in seventh grade or older from participating in girls sports or other girls-only activities  Ban gender-affirming health care — including surgery or hormone treatment — for transgender students under age 18, even if parents consent or the treatment is recommended by a doctor Require schools to notify parents if students change their pronouns or otherwise signal they identify as a gender other than what’s on their official student records Doesn't look like it "protects" anybody.  It actually is about restricting trans kids rights.   The ways politicians name their bills etc. is a farce.  Most of the time they do the opposite of what they're called.
    • Mmindy
      Thank you @VickySGVfor locating and posting this document. I'm saving it as a PDF on my laptop. I'll move it to my iPad later.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Ivy
      There's a lot of bad information out there.  People like the sensational stuff, whether it's true or not.   Too many people live in a news/opinion bubble.  My ex's late husband kept Fox News on 24/7.  It was always there in the background of their life.  There is something about "trans" stuff every day, and always negative.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...