Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

mom, unsure how to handle


Guest G_Unit

Recommended Posts

Guest G_Unit

then i need to really start eating more if i want to stay the weight i am once i start HRT. i currently weigh around 185.. just above what i was 10 yrs ago graduating High School. Though i would love that weight again.

Link to comment

Your metabolism (and lean muscle mass, which contributes to you RMR) will go down not up, so you will want to eat less not more otherwise your BMI will shoot through the roof.

Link to comment

Yea if you ever thought that women were just being whiny about how hard it is to lose weight... haha you are in for a shock! It its definitely more difficult to stay fit as a woman, and anyone who thinks differently hasn't had estrogen coursing through their veins! But you will be ok, from the sound of it you are pretty good at maintaining your weight so after that initial re-learning period you will be A ok! :D I have faith in you

Link to comment
Guest KimberlyF

I'm not saying this is the case, but is it possible that you are projecting some of these unrealistic expectations as to what HRT will do, for example, to your mother, and she is just cautious because they don't make sense to her?

One thing that most parents worry about is us getting hurt-physically or emotionally. She may think that you starting HRT and wearing women's clothes with facial hair and a very male strut could end badly for you.

My cousin has been 100% supportive from day one! but has told me many times that since I told her, she worries about me a lot more than she did.

And your therapist is a psychiatrist and not psychologist? They really should have a decent idea of what HRT can and can't do because they are a MD.

The HRT subject is confusing because there is so much misinformation out there. Everything we know is mostly based on word of mouth that is passed on as fact always, all the time. So much depends on the individual and the specific meds used. As an example, one T blocker used is finasteride. One reason it is prescribed to other people is to treat male pattern baldness. So can HRT cause hair to regrow? It can.

Though the Adam's apple and voice are two big flags to me as someone dealing with your transition should know that these are issues that may need to be addressed.

Link to comment
Guest LizMarie

Facial hair and voice are the two biggest things that identify you as "male" right off the bat. Mannerisms, walk, speech patterns, behavior patterns, these can identify you as male as well.

Regarding voice - what often happens is that as a transwoman begins retraining her voice, she begins to habituate the position of the larynx higher in the throat. This is one (not the only) of the ways used to minimize male voice resonance. It often results in a minor pitch change as well, without attempting any other pitch change, simply because the vocal tract is now shorter. This also has the incidental side effect of further reducing the profile of the adam's apple since it is sitting higher in the throat.

None of that is from HRT, just practice on voice. There are increasing numbers of women, who having mastered male voice resonance suppression but not happy with where their pitch sits even after voice therapy, that choose to have voice feminization surgery. To the best of my knowledge there is precisely one VFS surgeon in the world who has had consistently outstanding results related to pitch. Many others have had mixed results but also try to deal with both pitch and resonance. If you wish more information about that, send me a PM and I will provide it. There is an old misconception that VFS is almost always horrible so don't do it, that the risks are too high. This was based on studies done by Dr. Anne Lawrence that concluded in 2004. However, Dr. Lawrence herself has admitted that much has changed in VFS in the last 10 years so her results are not nearly as useful now as before.

As for mastering these things like walk, mannerisms, etc., many people master them better by doing, that is, by simply beginning to present and go. Others prefer to spend more time in the closet perfecting their presentation. There's no right or wrong way. Just do what works for you.

Finally, as for HRT, others have provided some of the expected side effects. However, response to HRT and hair loss is highly individual. There are indeed people who have experienced hair regrowth due to HRT alone. They are not the majority. If you have hair loss issues, you should speak to a hair loss specialist, look into a prescription for propecia, purchase topical Minoxidil (5%) and use that daily, and potentially consider weekly microneedling, if you are going to use Minoxidil. You may also decide to look into hair transplants. They are very well done now by most hair restoration surgeons, so don't be afraid of them if you feel the need to improve your feminine hair line. Again, if you need further information, please PM me.

Link to comment
Guest KimberlyF

Kimberly.. No my therapist and psychiatrist are two separate people.

OK...you prob mentioned this on another topic because I'm lost. Who are you seeing for what?

You mentioned earlier...

So yeah. my psychiatrist said start dressing, acting and behaving like a woman before we talk about our next step. So who knows more here?

Is this who you discuss your transition with, and what type of next step?

Link to comment
Guest G_Unit

I've been discussing it with both. My psychiatrist and I are looking for an HRT specialist which I found in Milwaukee. Therapist is making sure i'm handling the whole transitional process very well. and we deal with what problems come up. So I am guessing my Psych's next step is hormones. Which I need my Psych to write a letter for the Specialist then i can schedule a first consult and get going.

Stacy

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

It sounds like you are handling things well dear. My GT told me to wait for electrolysis until i'd been on HRT for 3 years. I'm fortunate in having a light beard anyway and it will thin over time. That has been her experience and she has a grew deal of experience. If i had a dark beard i don't know if i could wait. I am glad to be on HRT but it certainly not a miracle right away. I'm glad you are getting the help to do things right. It does take the help of those who care and have helped others. The early pioneers had many problems. Keep us posted and enjoy the journey.

Hugs,

Charlie

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   2 Members, 0 Anonymous, 86 Guests (See full list)

    • Hannah Renee
    • KathyLauren
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,944
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Melissa_J
    Newest Member
    Melissa_J
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Amyjay
      Amyjay
      (58 years old)
    2. bettyjean
      bettyjean
    3. Breanna
      Breanna
      (52 years old)
    4. Emily Ayla
      Emily Ayla
    5. JET182
      JET182
  • Posts

    • Willow
      Good Friday Morning    I will be spending a good portion of my day at church today.  I don’t know how any of my family would have been with me.  They all passed before I figured myself out.  I often think my mother and sister may have figured it out before I did but maybe it was just my depression that they saw.  I don’t know and never will.  My grandfather Young unconditionally loved me but he passed when I was 9.   Same with my wife’s parents, both gone before.  We’ve never had the greatest relationship with my wife’s brother but we do see them occasionally.  They words and actions aren’t always in sink when it comes to me.   Sour kraut or boil cabbage were never big even with my parents so that was something we were never expected to eat.  Nor was anything with mustard.  My mother hated mustard and it turns my stomach. My wife tried to sneak it into things early in our marriage but I could always tell.  She stopped after a while.   well I wave to go get ready to go to church.  I have a committee meeting at 10 and then we have a Good Friday Service at noon.   Willow
    • Mmindy
      Good morning everyone,   @KymmieLI hope you're misreading your bosses communications. As you say keep plugging a long. Don't give them signs that you're slow quitting, just to collect unemployment.   I have a few things to do business wise, and will be driving to the St. Louis, MO area for two family gatherings.   Have a great day,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • KymmieL
      Good morning everyone, TGIFF   It seems like I am the one keeping or shop from being the best. According to the boss. I don't know if my days are numbered or not. But anymore I am waiting for the axe to fall. Time will tell.   I keep plugging a long.   Kymmie
    • KymmieL
      In the warmer weather, Mine is hitting the road on the bike. Just me, the bike, and the road. Other is it music or working on one of my many projects.   Kymmie
    • LC
      That is wonderful. Congratulations!
    • Heather Shay
      What is relaxation to you? Nature? Movie? Reading? Cuddling with a pet? Music?
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
      Having just a normal emotional day.
    • Heather Shay
      AMUSEMENT The feeling when you encounter something silly, ironic, witty, or absurd, which makes you laugh. You have the urge to be playful and share the joke with others. Similar words: Mirth Amusement is the emotional reaction to humor. This can be something that is intended to be humorous, like when someone tells a good joke or when a friend dresses up in a ridiculous costume. But it can also be something that you find funny that was not intended to be humorous, like when you read a sign with a spelling error that turns it into an ironic pun. For millennia, philosophers and scholars have been attempting to explain what exactly it is that makes something funny. This has led to several different theories. Nowadays, the most widely accepted one is the Incongruity Theory, which states that something is amusing if it violates our standards of how things are supposed to be. For example, Charlie Chaplin-style slapstick is funny because it violates our norms of competence and proper conduct, while Monty Python-style absurdity is funny because it violates reason and logic. However, not every standard or norm violation is necessarily funny. Violations can also evoke confusion, indignation, or shock. An important condition for amusement is that there is a certain psychological distance to the violation. One of the ways to achieve this is captured by the statement ‘comedy is tragedy plus time’. A dreadful mistake today may become a funny story a year from now. But it can also be distant in other ways, for instance, because it happened to someone you do not know, or because it happens in fiction instead of in real life. Amusement also needs a safe and relaxed environment: people who are relaxed and among friends are much more likely to feel amused by something. A violation and sufficient psychological distance are the basic ingredients for amusement, but what any one person find funny will depend on their taste and sense of humor. There are dozens of ‘humor genres’, such as observational comedy, deadpan, toilet humor, and black comedy. Amusement is contagious: in groups, people are more prone to be amused and express their amusement more overtly. People are more likely to share amusement when they are with friends or like-minded people. For these reasons, amusement is often considered a social emotion. It encourages people to engage in social interactions and it promotes social bonding. Many people consider amusement to be good for the body and the soul. By the end of the 20th century, humor and laughter were considered important for mental and physical health, even by psychoneuroimmunology researchers who suggested that emotions influenced immunity. This precipitated the ‘humor and health movement’ among health care providers who believed that humor and laughter help speed recovery, including in patients suffering from cancer1). However, the evidence for health benefits of humor and laughter is less conclusive than commonly believed2. Amusement is a frequent target of regulation: we down-regulate it by shifting our attention to avoid inappropriate laughter, or up-regulate it by focusing on a humorous aspect of a negative situation. Interestingly, amusement that is purposefully up-regulated has been found to have the same beneficial physical and psychological effects as the naturally experienced emotion. Amusement has a few clear expressions that emerge depending on the intensity of the emotion. When people are mildly amused, they tend to smile or chuckle. When amusement intensifies, people laugh out loud and tilt or bob their head. The most extreme bouts of amusement may be accompanied by uncontrollable laughter, tears, and rolling on the floor. Most cultures welcome and endorse amusement. Many people even consider a ‘good sense of humor’ as one of the most desirable characteristics in a partner. At the same time, most cultures have (implicit) rules about what is the right time and place for amusement. For example, displays of amusement may be deemed inappropriate in situations that demand seriousness or solemness, such as at work or during religious rituals.
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • April Marie
      Good morning, everyone!!! Two cups of coffee in the books and I am just feeling so wonderful this morning. Not sure why, but I'm happy and smiling.   Enjoy this beautiful day!!!
    • Heather Shay
      A U.S. dollar bill can be folded approximately 4,000 times in the same place before it will tear. -You cannot snore and dream at the same time. -The average person walks the equivalent of three times around the world in a lifetime. -A hippo’s wide open mouth is big enough to fit a 4-foot-tall child in. -Chewing gum while you cut an onion will help keep you from crying.
    • Susan R
      Love it! This is great news. We need more of this to combat the excessive hate-filled rhetoric and misinformation. 👍
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...