Challenging Times

[gennee]

It seems that a day doesn't go by without reading that another transgender woman has been killed. Brazil tops the list, followed by Mexico and then the United States. With the increased visibility and the passage of many protections, the vitriol against transgender people has been wratcheted up from all quarters. Organizations such as the American Family Association, anti-TGLB and religious institutions, and municipalities are doing everything to keep transgender people on the margins.

This is the time we need to be vigilant. Two areas that I have interest in is the fallacy trans hurts traditional marriage and that religious rights are affected. I can and will refute these lies. I can say that these are challenging times. I want to a part of the solution.

[VickySGV]

The claim that we infringe on the rights to the practice of religion depends totally on what the U.S, Constitution seems to say to these people. Mostly their interpretation is no where close to what the actual court system and case law has come up with in any cases to date. The other side to these rights that have gone back many decades, is that they speak of rights, but our system requires a balancing of rights and duties to be part of our social groups. The folks you are talking about have a right to be respected, but they see no duty to respect the rights of their fellow humans. In their minds the two things cannot coexist. The right to life being a major one!!

[Guest KimberlyF]

The folks you are talking about have a right to be respected, but they see no duty to respect the rights of their fellow humans. In their minds the two things cannot coexist. The right to life being a major one!!

Yep...respect is a two way street. So is it your belief that the majority of the groups mentioned and the people from those groups-organizations such as the American Family Association, anti-TGLB and religious institutions, and municipalities-don't believe in the right to life for TG people?

[Guest jnemo]

We don't hinder people's religious freedom. It's not like we block them from going to their churches. And their rights do not extend to being able to restrict the rights of others. That some religious people makes such claims shows they're not arguing in good faith for protections that they already have (protections which are not being violated).

If they want to push back, they will find they're on the wrong side of history, as the saying goes. Just because some.many religious people got away with oppressing others, does not mean they have a right to - it means their was a failure in our social system.

Sad to say, many are not content to rant, but wish to commit violence against trans people. Whether directly or through the legal system. By attempting (and far too often succeeding) they've thrown away the right to have their beliefs respected. That's on them.

[Charlize]

I have read some terrible things happening recently in NY, NY as well. It is a pity but we still have to remember to be careful. I live in a tolerant area and the people in my town have know me al my life. They have been great. Away in the big world things can be very different. I like Kimberly's quote!!

Hugs,

Charlie

[Carolyn Marie]

I know that there is a lot of violence towards transfolk in some Central and South American Countries. The cases stand out every year in TDOR ceremonies. Regarding violence in America, and I'm talking mostly of murders, which get the most attention, there is one issue at play that I have pointed out in the past; risky behavior.

If you were to look at the cases reported in our News Forum over the past 2-3 years, you would see that most involved transwomen plying the street trade, or out in known dangerous areas in the early morning hours, or engaging in other behaviors that most would consider high risk. Now before you throw things, I'm not trying to blame the victims. But people do increase their risk of personal harm by acting in such ways. People need to take care of themselves, because no one else will.

To what degree the bigoted talk in the media or special interest groups plays in such crimes is impossible to say. Personally, I don't think it does for most such crimes, but I can't prove my belief is more valid that someone who said the opposite. Hate talk doesn't help, certainly, and it feeds the kind of mindless crap that we see in comment sections for trans-related stories. When "authority figures" say we're crazy, worthless or godless, it does make it easier for unhinged people to repeat it, or act on it.

Violence in America for all groups has declined in recent years. In the City of L.A. in 2012, with over 3 million residents, there were no reported violent crimes against trans people. I do not believe that it is statistically more dangerous for (publicly transitioned) transfolk to live in society, if they do not engage in the risky behaviors I noted above. Even one attack is one too many, but I don't live in constant fear, and I don't think there is cause for any of us to do so.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest jnemo]

I think those that publicly spread hate are more into political violence than physical violence... still, I do view that as a form of violence. Segregation, denial of care, and denial of identity are blow against a person. And they can have a deadly physical outcome when it come to healthcare. If they are a part of the physical violence, it's in encouraging discrimination and hate against trans people, as Carolyn says.

As for sex work - that's kind-of a Catch-22. It's dangerous, but also a means to an end, that is transitioning and having a place to live, food to eat. I think that's worth keeping in mind that sometimes economic and social conditions trans people in a no-win situation. No, one could argue that they shouldn't pursue these means, but in that case, I think there needs to be an alternative for them. And even not pursuing transition and living in "drab" can (as you all know) have negative mental health consequences (which economic conditions can exacerbate) and backfire (sometimes the gender non-conforming just shows through and you experience violence anyway). Idk, maybe saying this is redundant.

But I do agree - many trans women are in a place (financially, geographically, and appearance-wise) where they're not going to experience that. Not all. Not all other trans people, either.

I think economic violence, bureaucratic problems, and being driven to suicide might be more significant. But if just one of us dies I agree that it's one too many. And every year more than one of us does... so that's no good.

[Guest jnemo]

Interesting about the walking at night thing - that it wasn't something safe to do is something that I internalized long before my trans realization... And I live in a relatively quiet town. But even though I've always walked home safely here (I have actually only experienced violence towards me during the day) there was always that nagging worry, that knife-edge of paranoia. But we all don't absorb the same lessons.

Now, I read about the violence that does occur here (police blotter and campus crime stats) and it's not walking alone on the street so often as it's being in a place with people you trust, who betray that trust by turning on you in some way. Another common factor is being in the presence of people using alcohol or other hard drugs.

Also... I want to say, maybe the direct violence is indeed the most significant. How do we decide that? Death is pretty serious, isolated or not. Many of us live in safer situations, but we're lucky in that regard - many of us don't.

[Guest Jennifer T]

It's my experience and observation that each and every 'group' in our country interprets the constitution and the ideologies of "separation of church and state" in ways they believe benefits them. Without fail.

But none of us were there at the birth of our country. None of us know what was in the hearts and minds of those who signed the Declaration of Independence and began forming the laws by which we govern ourselves. And sorry, it annoys me when any of us pretend we do. We make assumptions. But that's the best.

Let your arguments stand on their own merit. Let your cries for vigilance or social change stand because the are relevant or worthy.

Peace.

[JJ]

It seems to me that as the true nature of our condition becomes known the religious fanatics have less ammunition. As long as they see this as a sexual perversion or expression of some sort they will wage war. But as we become more and more visible as normal people essentially facing unusual and difficult challenges-as we gain faces and humanity to the public it will make a real difference. It's easy to make a joke or a hate speech or pass a law against a faceless pervert-it is much harder to do the same to your son or daughter or neighbor whom you know to be a good and decent person. And we now have hard scientific proof as well as the backing of the AMA and APA that this is not some disorder or psychological condition.

Our greatest defenses -or weapons-in this battle for equality are education and visibility. The former is becoming easier and the latter to some extent because it is getting safer and more accepted to be trans as more people are exposed to out realities but I believe visibility is and will remain out biggest challenge because we are driven to just want to live our lives and leave the trans issues behind once we transition successfully. So it leaves the more militant and/or flamboyant members of the community who are most visible. The public sees the drag king or queen or the "man in a dress" person without realizing that the woman or man standing next to them is also trans.

People come in all shapes and sizes. There are a number of 6 foot plus women in my community. Some are heavily muscled as well but no one challenges their gender. The same with the numerous small and delicate looking men. People just never think about us as the people we really become when we successfully master transition socially. Even members of our own community sometimes postulate that we don't really pass well because they see the failures rather than hearing and remembering or believing all the testimonials to the contrary. There is a stage of transition where we are seeking validation and perhaps fool ourselves but we have been forced to be careful observers and we know when we are clocked. If anything, I think post transition we tend to be surprised at how seldom we are.

And it is those very people who best represent our community. Yet are least likely to do so because they want to just live the lives they have worked hard to achieve. I am not sure what the answer to the visibility question is-except to create an awareness of the need for visibility in the community and encourage those who step up to represent us as we truly are. Hopefully more and more high profile people will be able to come out as well, as happened with other LGBT historically. It affects the public perception which will spike the guns of the religious right faster than anything else.

I also agree with Carolyn that our own risky behavior has contributed to our level of violence. Brandon Teena is a perfect example. He chose to associate with violent phobic criminals and knew when he reported what they did as a reaction to his deception that he was likely to be killed. They told him so in no uncertain terms. Doesn't justify the murders-especially of the innocent -but that very high profile case was completely avoidable. Nobody deserves to be raped or murdered but we can certainly minimize the danger rather than putting ourselves in harms way. In some ways we do have to be more careful and more vigilant and learn the rules of the gender we live. There was a young woman drug behind a truck and then executed not so far from here. She was not associating with negative or violent people but she forgot that a woman cannot walk alone at night on the highway. And being trans made what would have been a rape a horrific murder which will never be solved.

So far in this small and ultra religious community I have not faced one negative action -or even comment-but I think that is in part because they know me. I am a human being to them. And therein lies the key. We must be seen as people -familiar in our sameness to them. And we need it understood that we are not making a choice. We are addressing a birth defect-a physical need

The truth for me is that I really can't understand why anyone cares what I wear or call myself as long as I remain a good and decent person in how I live my life and interact with my community.

Johnny

[VickySGV]

The folks you are talking about have a right to be respected, but they see no duty to respect the rights of their fellow humans. In their minds the two things cannot coexist. The right to life being a major one!!

Yep...respect is a two way street. So is it your belief that the majority of the groups mentioned and the people from those groups-organizations such as the American Family Association, anti-TGLB and religious institutions, and municipalities-don't believe in the right to life for TG people?

My observation is beyond a "belief" which is based on factors OTHER THAN the 5 human senses. Certainly the one civic leader in Louisiana bit the gravel against the Trans* woman who offered him some rocks and a target, but had the encounter been out in the backwoods with no witnesses or publicity the encounter could well have ended differently. When we are not seen as having the requisite "HUMAN" qualities such as identical beliefs and behaviors, we lose all vestiges of what the framers of the U.S. Constitution seem to have envisioned. In all fairness, Trans* folk have not been the only victims that way, African Americans, Latino's, Irishmen, G&L, and us as a recent tack on to the list.

[Guest LizMarie]

JJ, I read an interesting article at Slate that speculated on the roots of homophobia in our culture, because those homophobic roots are also often related to transphobia.

In it a gay man made the observation that men in the United States are in this horrible culture trap. The popular culture refuses to believe a man can be bi-sexual and often assumes such a declaration simply means they are actually gay and unable to come to grips with their situation. Further, the slightest mistake in any male's sexuality can have them permanently branded as "gay" (and worse terms) even if they actually are heterosexual. Even the suspicion that someone is gay can be thrown in their face to question their masculinity.

Consequently, the speculative piece wondered if men in particular were highly homophobic because of this fear of being labeled homosexual themselves? Relating to that is that many people, especially men, can refuse to see a transwoman as a woman and instead see her as a "guy in a dress" and consequently is the ultimate rejection of masculinity. Add in that our society tries to worship masculinity, tries to objectify women, and the author concluded that there is a very rational reason that men respond with such intense homophobia (and transphobia) even if the underlying basis for that decision is completely irrational in itself.

Thus we get to your statement:

The truth for me is that I really can't understand why anyone cares what I wear or call myself as long as I remain a good and decent person in how I live my life and interact with my community.

And is the reason why they can't live and let live as you think is what I mention above? Are they "defending" their own masculinity by challenging all other approaches that might redefine their masculinity?

I don't know but I found it to be an interesting thought experiment and worthy of consideration.

[Guest KimberlyF]

The folks you are talking about have a right to be respected, but they see no duty to respect the rights of their fellow humans. In their minds the two things cannot coexist. The right to life being a major one!!

Yep...respect is a two way street. So is it your belief that the majority of the groups mentioned and the people from those groups-organizations such as the American Family Association, anti-TGLB and religious institutions, and municipalities-don't believe in the right to life for TG people?

My observation is beyond a "belief" which is based on factors OTHER THAN the 5 human senses. Certainly the one civic leader in Louisiana bit the gravel against the Trans* woman who offered him some rocks and a target, but had the encounter been out in the backwoods with no witnesses or publicity the encounter could well have ended differently. When we are not seen as having the requisite "HUMAN" qualities such as identical beliefs and behaviors, we lose all vestiges of what the framers of the U.S. Constitution seem to have envisioned. In all fairness, Trans* folk have not been the only victims that way, African Americans, Latino's, Irishmen, G&L, and us as a recent tack on to the list.

well, considering that prob 99.9999% of interactions in the country take place away from publicity and I'm sure many of them happen without witnesses and some in the backwoods, that the majority end up in violence or loss of life for TGs?

Is this only an issue in the backwoods? Are backwoods people different from others?

[gennee]

A lot of wonderful comments here. I do agree that risky behavior has played a role in some transgender deaths. I do believe that everyone is entitled to their own beliefs but when they infringe on other people's right to live their life, then I have a problem with that. I can't sit idly while we are being killed, stepped on, put out of our homes and schools and jobs because some don't like who we are. Using religion to promote this is vile and disgusting, in my opinion.

When I began being out in public, I was educating the public so to speak that I exist and that I'm living my life. I had some comments hurled at me, both positive and negative, but it doesn't stop me one bit. I just refuse to be a victim. Why should I hide something that took most of my life to find out? The last eight plus years have been the best of my life.

Education is still needed because, quite frankly, many people have no clue what being transgender is. Now with schools and churches and places of employment having to deal with it, education is vital for students, parents, school administrators, law and legal professionals, medical professionals and others. I can put my education degree to greater use.

[Guest devida]

Johnny writes that he really can't understand why anyone cares what he wears or call himself as long as he remains a good and decent person in how he lives his life and interacts with his community. I feel exactly the same way and like him I live in a small town where I have (so far) had little animosity expressed towards me (in fact people are usually very friendly) even though I don't think that I've seen one other person who dresses like me. I am an older quite flamboyant genderqueer bisexual man. But maybe because I am older I am a bit more careful now than I used to be, when, for example, I was a young man living in Lebanon and every other car had passengers who screamed at me asking if I was a boy or a girl and whether I wanted to have sex. Nobody ever asks me the former anymore, nor, all too infrequently, the latter! I am also aware that many, many people create their identity by what they are not and for transgender people this is a real and present danger. Unfortunately even in the LGBT community there's discrimination against transgender people, and, I believe, for the same reason. TG people are an affront to everyone who defines their core identity by the hatred of the other or by the definition of themselves as tribally not the other. No wonder so few of us are out publicly and so many of us want to pass as just ordinary people. But it won't do. As Johnny indicates we really won't get basic civil rights, let alone tolerance by the mainstream until we are visible. Gays and lesbians have achieved amazing levels of acceptance in the last few years by showing that they are just exactly like everyone else, except for the gender of the person they love. They became no longer a threat to most people in the developed world. The question we have to answer is how do we do that?