Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

The Bottle's Caress


Guest SouthernBelle

Recommended Posts

Guest SouthernBelle

In love,

So in love

Since I've now found myself

But, still,

Just beat

For the medicine's stealth

Two times

The mirror held me

Twice!

Yes, twice I've written this rhyme

And

Aside from the known

Lives the all-knowing bottle

That begs me and carries me home

In push, I am all just alone

Link to comment
Guest Jennifer T

Belle, I hear your cry. Your words offer the struggle of your beauty against the Bottle.

Poignant and lovely.

I offer this poem I wrote many years ago to this same issue. I was also playing with alliteration as I wrote it:

"Acolyte”

Consider the bottle

Deceptive, ephemeral;

Enticing

Inviting redemption.

Who inhabits the chapel of the lost?

Who visits the tabernacle of the tormented?

And hears the dirge of the depraved?

In aqueous requiem I sang the psalm of the inebriated

And offered approbation at the gilded altar of Neon.

Now in corpulent solitude I contemplate

And proffer penance for the iniquity of the inane

And lifting the chalice of the profane

I seal my discipleship..."

- Jennifer T May 23, 2003

Link to comment
Guest Jennifer T

I'd also like to say a few words to you here.

I've always felt in control with drinking. If I got drunk, it was because I fully intended on getting drunk. When I needed to set the bottle aside, I did. When I drink, I laugh at everything. The world is lighter and I let Jennifer out a little - her playfulness, her humor, and her vulnerability. But I always control where, how and with whom.

That said, in these later years of my life, it beckons me. I feel the pull as soon as I get home.

Here's the problem, I have a health issue for which I am quite sure alcohol is not beneficial. At least, not in excess. And I do not like the fact that anything can control me.

I did drink a lot this weekend. But I am paying the piper today.

I do not want to be controlled. Not like this.

I need to walk away from it.

Link to comment
Guest Brenda Hailey

Ya,ll wanna go drinkin with me some time?

The Caress.

A little here a little there a little

The myth of control

Whispered in your ear

Another caress its power yours to behold

Pleasure divine

Sweet as touch

Forever assuring

Another caress is never to much

Contrary notions

Buried in taste

Chest subtly burning

Another caress with forever to waste

Numbness, affirming it place

Invoking splendor and smiles

Lulled by the glow

Another caress comparing pain to its grace

Temptation secured

Voice unusually robust

Heart invulnerable

Another caress courage confirmed.

Dancing in hell

Your promise declared

Consuming inhibition

Another caress for endless vice

Feelings mere platitudes

Lifes hopes, banality

Desire always giving way

Another caress for another day

Acrimony slowly creeps in

Smoke filled eyes

Apparent dimmed light

Another caress will make it alright

Resentment strikes

Resound condemnation

Falls loudly on deaf ears

Another caress for all the lost years

Truculence crashes in

Belligerence to settle the score

Obscure now the reason to fight

Another caress into the darkness of night

Lament aspirations

Never to fulfill

Dreams all undreamt

Another caress the enormity may it kill

Penetrate hopelessness

Calling its right

No way out

Another caress your essence now trite

Tears in sorrow

Expose the wretchedness of soul

Loathing, perfectly just

Another caress for the ugliness you've shown

Disgust flowing purposely

Abhorrence is destiny

Revulsion strength

Another caress for estrangement to self

Sad songs endorsing the game

Sway in compliance

Yours is much worse

Another caress for one more play

Light burst in

Piercing the bottle

Its time to say when

Another caress to start the day new

Prostrate now

Given to your plight

Knowing the dance was all true

Another caress wishing it wasnt all you.

Rest for the wicked

Time enough to renew

Just a few more hours

Another caress will get you through

Time spent in your glory

Work hard to forget

Pretenses bolstered

Another caress is waiting for you.

Cheers

Link to comment
  • 4 weeks later...
Guest miss kindheart

Finding onesself is a great accomplishment

Hang one to that and it will last you a lifetime

Nice poetry Belle

<<< hug >>>

:wub: vanna

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

The poetry of the bottle became a living hell for me. I put the cork back years ago and yet the spirits within can still sing a song that sweetly says come home, like the sweet smell of death. I'm free for today but remember the thoughts and romance held by rotten fruit.

Hugs,

Charlize

Link to comment

The poetry of the bottle became a living hell for me. I put the cork back years ago and yet the spirits within can still sing a song that sweetly says come home, like the sweet smell of death. I'm free for today but remember the thoughts and romance held by rotten fruit.

Hugs,

Charlize

Charlize, thank God the chain was broken. You're truly free now.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   6 Members, 0 Anonymous, 145 Guests (See full list)

    • VickySGV
    • April Marie
    • Stefi
    • Ashley0616
    • MaeBe
    • Abigail Genevieve
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      767.9k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,014
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Quillian
    Newest Member
    Quillian
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. l.demiurge
      l.demiurge
  • Posts

    • Ashley0616
      Nothing wrong with that. I'm glad that you found what makes you happy! Just curious what does your wife think? If it's too personal I understand.
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
      – According to a recent survey, the most popular name for a dog is Max. Other popular names include Molly, Sam, Zach, and Maggie.
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
      Either new environment/ not potty trained
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Bob was on his way home from the dojo and he "just happened" to driver by her place. It was 10:30.  Her light was still on.  He knew exactly where she was sitting.  He saw her in his mind.   A fierce wave of desire that took his breath away suddenly showed up. All he had to do was stop, get out of the car, walk to the door and knock.  She would answer, glad to see him.  She would know why he was there and what he wanted. She would invite him in, maybe get him something to drink, disappear for a moment and return in "something more comfortable."  She would lead him back. Oh, joy.   And never, ever speak to him again afterwards.  Or she would not let him in but be angry about it.  In no way, emotionally, physically, mentally or spiritually, was she ready for this, and he knew it, if he was honest with himself, and she knew he knew it.  She would look upon it as another assault and their relationship would be irretrievably broken.  He would have to leave town. It would devastate her. It would devastate him.    He fought himself.  He was frozen to his seat as his reason and his body fought. He was twenty four years old, a full-blooded male with normal desires; he had just worked out and he was ready.  All he had to do now was open the car door. No one would know. He held his hands, one in the other, to keep one from moving, against his reason and will, to open that door.  He did not want to be a slave of his desires.   He looked across the street.  Mrs. McCarthy, sister of his landlord, was peeking though her window.  She knew his car.  Everyone in town would know by noon the next day if he got out of the car.  Taylor did not need that, either, and she would know, if he came to the door now, what a selfish thing it would be: in his own eyes, in the eyes of Taylor, in the eyes of the town, and worst of all, in the eyes of God.   He sat there a moment longer.  He was, as he reflected, entering into her sufferings in a small way that she would be made whole, healthy and happy: what he wanted more than anything.  But this hurt.  Why had all this come on her?  He asked God again, but there was only silence. He drove home in that silence. He chided himself for even going on her street and for driving on it other nights.  He would stop that, he told himself.   ------------------------------------------   The next morning Taylor went out to her car to go to work.  Mrs. McCarthy met her before she got to it. "I thought you were going to get lucky last night, dearie," she said. Taylor was puzzled. "Why, what do you mean?" "That young fellow - you know, Bob - he's been driving around here, going up and down the street some nights, not stopping.  Well, last night he parked and sat in his car for a while.   I think he was staring at your window.  I think he was trying to get up the courage to knock on the door. I was rooting for him.   But then he drove away.  Faint heart never won fair lady, as they say. What a shame. You two are a lovely couple.  Well, have a good day!" "Thank you, Mrs. McCarthy."  Taylor knew Bob extremely well and knew what had been going through his mind.  She was more than grateful he had not gotten out of the car. Better for him, better for her, better for everybody.  Surgery "down there" sooner than later.  This was driving the poor boy crazy. It was driving her crazy, too.  But she had a lot to work through. Surgery "up here" she said, pointing to her head.  She woke up her therapist on the way to work.  They were still talking when she pulled into her designated parking spot.  That was a perk that had happened yesterday.  She took a deep breath and headed into work. It would be another wild day.
    • Ashley0616
      bittersweet: especially : pleasure accompanied by suffering or regret
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I'm thinking about some interactions yesterday I did, while presenting as male but acting as female, that were far better than I did when I was presenting as male and acting as male.  #girlunderhood. I do a crappy job at acting as male and I am giving it up.  I am not talking about feminine gestures or presentation but just relating as a woman.  People don't realize I am doing it but it is a whole lot easier to do.   You don't just put on a dress and BOOM you are a girl.  You are a girl and you put on a dress.  Or not. Whether I am in jeans or a skirt (I wish, wife would have lots to say) I am a girl.  I don't need $250 in makeup and heels and hose and all that.  I don't need surgery. Honey, I have arrived.  Now I have to work out how that best works in my life, causing the minimal damage and creating the maximum good, but I have more working room.   Oh, and I am still pissed off at everyone and everything. #Contradictory.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      @Willow it is certainly possible that my husband planned it. Placing me in the path of an opportunity....he certainly does things like that. GF has done some work for the company as an outside consultant, so I'm sure the company owner knows what potential resources are around.    It could also have just happened randomly. He has taken me to work with him before, just because he likes to have me around. I remember one time that I fell asleep with my head in his lap, and he held a meeting with his subordinates without waking me and making me move.  The company culture is family oriented and relaxed.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      The photo is great.  Software is phenomenal but it also is sort of a promise of things to come. Years ago this sort of thing took a photographer and Photoshop and all sorts of things and you would say, "I can look like THIS??"   Me, I am a duck.  That's from my driver's license.  Just kidding.
    • MaeBe
      I lucked into that picture. I took like 10 before that, which appropriately make me look like a donkey. ;)   Thank you so much for the compliment!
    • Mmindy
      You're welcome Sally,   Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Mmindy
      This is a great analogy. The statement is true as it relates to the tree. The analogy fits because we as a LGBTQIA community are stronger when we stand together. It also work here on Transgender Pulse Forums. The support I feel from so many others has made me comfortable with my stance, because I'm in a beautiful forest of friends. So when I'm out alone and confronted. I can respond and act like the single tree in the field, surviving whatever comes my way. My roots reach back and communicate with others like me.    Standing Strong,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...