I'm transgender, but I don't have any dysphoria..

[Guest adrianna_xo]

.. does this make me any less transgender? I'm not sure if this is in the right category.. so apologies if it's not. I guess I should introduce myself as this is my first post here on this website. I was born a boy in the year 1997 currently making me sixteen! I've always been very feminine, enjoyed girly things, been friends with the girls.. I definitely felt different from other boys. It wasn't until my sixth grade year that I learned about the term transgender and what it really means. It kind of clicked and I was like, yes that's exactly what I am!

I do identify as transgender. I am in the process of growing my hair out, I'm starting to wear makeup in public (not loads, just foundation or eyeliner for now) and just taking things slow. However.. I've realized over the years that I am a little different from most (not all) transgender girls. I don't have dysphoria. I am perfectly okay with what I have. I would like to get facial feminization surgery and breast implants (I've ALWAYS wanted breasts) - but as far as my genitalia.. I don't think I'd really want to get SRS. What are some of your personal opinions on this? Will this decision not to get SRS affect my transition drastically? Will I still be able to change my gender on my drivers license? My name? These are things I think about often.

I'm glad to have found this forum, looks like there's a lot of helpful people. Thanks in advance.

[Guest RAWR:3]

Firstly, welcome to Laura's! I hope you enjoy your stay here at the playground!

And now to answer your questions -

What are some of your personal opinions on this? - It shouldn't matter what we think, if you want to present female and keep your original genitals then that is your business. Do what makes you happy. Besides, what's in your pants is really no one else's business anyway.

Will this decision not to get SRS affect my transition directly? - I would think not, as there are quite a number of different people transitioning who don't get SRS.

Will I still be able to change my gender on my drivers license? My name? - I think these depend on the laws of where you live. The name definitely, but the gender I'm not too sure. I think the law in the U.S. is you need to have SRS for that, but don't quote me on that. (Seriously, if I'm wrong, feel free to call me out on it)

[Guest Nicodeme]

Will I still be able to change my gender on my drivers license? My name? - I think these depend on the laws of where you live. The name definitely, but the gender I'm not too sure. I think the law in the U.S. is you need to have SRS for that, but don't quote me on that. (Seriously, if I'm wrong, feel free to call me out on it)

I think depending on the state any transgender-related surgery is grounds for being allowed to change your gender marker. I know there are guys who get it changed because they've had top. In theory, getting implants or FFS may be sufficient.

[VickySGV]

Hi Adrianna, welcome to the Playground. You fit in here very nicely with by far the largest chunk of us. You are not out of the ordinary as far as your gender comfort path is concerned, so stay around a bit, and enjoy this place which is for people like you.

I do not know New Mexico's actual laws on legally changing gender on such things as drivers' license or Birth Certificate, but as long as some medical person says you have permanently (or here in CA it is possible to get it done on a less than permanent basis that has to be renewed yearly) changed your gender by some form or chemistry or surgery. BA or FFS count in some states on the surgery issue. Go to TransgenderLawCenter.org and they can use my $50 donation to point you to the New Mexico laws you need.

Just to be official here as a mod -- Please do read the Terms and Conditions which you can access from the lowest right hand corner of any forum at least once. Since you identify teenager, you can initiate topics in any forum including the Teens Forum, and respond to posts in any forum. Just as a suggestion, make a post in the Introductions Forum to help get your count up and meet new friends from other forums too. When you get 5 posts, you will be able to use the PM system here, and will be able to update your profile and get some Pics put in your gallery. Have fun here.

[Guest April63]

Hi Adrianna,

There are already a few good posts answering some of your questions, and I would essentially echo all that they are saying. I would also like to add that you sound quite similar to the way I did when I was your age. I joined Laura's six years ago (holy guacamole, how has it been that long?) when I was sixteen, and I don't quite remember being dysphoric. Maybe my memory is faulty, but I remember having having the desire to be a girl without much dysphoria. I think part of that may have been due to me trying to deny who I was, but I don't really know. Maybe it was because I was in the infancy of developing my identity.

Fast forward a few years, I started cycling between wanting to be a woman and not caring about being male. Then, almost out of the blue, the dysphoria came. The feelings of wanting to be a woman are almost consistent now, and I don't know where they came from. But I realize that I've been thinking about this for a long time, and the way I view myself, my life, the world around me, and reality in general hs changed a lot in the past few months. My personal philosophy has changed, and I think that might have allowed the girl in me to really spread her wings and blossom.

I'm not saying this will happen to you, but it's certainly possible. Only time will tell, but I don't think your lack of dysphoric feelings makes you any less transgender than anyone else. Everyone is unique and that applies to the way gender is made manifest to us as well.

April

[Ravin]

It doesn't make you less transgender. SRS is major and dangerous surgery. For those who really need it, it's a life saver. No one should be forced into major surgery in order to satisfy legal rules.

I'm not sure about birth cert, but the NM form for gender change for a driver's license requires a medical professional to sign off that you are the target gender it's changing to.

As young as you are, you might not need FFS, and you might not need breast implants depending on how hormone treatment goes for you.

Welcome to Laura's!

[Guest Gregg Jameson]

His Adrianna,

Welcome to Laura's!

I believe each state has differing laws regarding gender marker changes on licenses. Vicky cites a great resource for learning about the various laws.

You are very fortunate to not be dealing with dysphoria!

You are also very fortunate to understand as much as you do understand about yourself at this stage of your life.

My experience has been similar to April's, in that things change/shift every now and then. My feelings of dysphoria also fluctuate in severity, depending upon the circumstances/situation at hand. I knew I had some degree of dysphoria most of my life; yet, was not fully aware of just how severe this has been, how much I have repressed/suppressed, until some random event took place in my life recently and the floodgates of severe (rather paralyzing) dysphoria opened. Wow.

While the sense of dysphoria can change in severity, it sounds like you are in a great place with self-acceptance and like your presentation just as you are. Simply enjoy yourself to the max!

Hope to see you around Laura's!

Warmly,

Brad

[Guest rumo]

I'm not exactly an expert on the lingo, but I think if you widen your definitions a little you could say that you do want SRS. After all, FFS and breast augmentation are both technically considered SRS. According to the WPATH SOC and Wikipedia, anyway.

Also, if you want those surgeries, doesn't that suggest you have dysphoria related to your chest and face? (Or not, depending on what you personally feel.) I'm not trying to tell you how you feel or anything, I'm just saying that you don't have to buy the deluxe package to qualify.

[Sakura]

One can fully transition socially and be accepted as their gender role of choice with out srs . This is mostly dependant of how you present your self to the world. In alot of cases what you have between your legs will not have a lot of bearing on how the world treats you. It treats you how it recognizes you. I have been in transition 10 years pre op. Lack of SRS has rarely hindered my social growth and intergration as a woman.

I don't think dysphoira is simply tied into ones genitals alone . I have seen many manifestations of it. Height, weight, build, face , voice, breasts even ones hands can trigger it. Maybe what you are doing now is enough to suppress your own level of dysphoria . In many cases it does not take a earth shattering change like SRS and little slow changes can help to keep it in check for some. The need to change in any transsexual no matter who well adjusted seems proof positive that dysphoria is present to some degree .

In my state gender can be changed on state issued ID's with only a therapist letter. SSA as was stated to me when I changed my name with them . " we require a letter from a doctor that some change has occured surgically " it is kinda vauge as to what those changes need to be . Some states do not allow change of BC while others only allow admendments to your old one. meaning the records still reflect that your were born male but are now identified as female and some states will destroy your old one and print another with your new gender on it . Look into it in your own state.

Welcome to the LP

[Guest Whoops]

Sakura! You may want to check this information. "A condensed version would be for you to go the Social Security web site, fill out the SS-5 form, search for gender and read the FAQ on how to change your gender with Social Security, print that out and have it with you, then click on the link for identity and follow it so you can find out what they will accept as proof of identity." -Lois Simmons (a comment on "It’s Not ‘All Psychological’: How the Medical Establishment Fails Transgender Patients" article)

Another quote from her in the same article " I changed my legal name, including the name on my Social Security card 13 months ago. At that time, evidence of surgery was required by SSA to change the gender marker. That policy was changed in May 2013 so there would be consistency between SSA policy and State Department policy, which did not require evidence of surgery to use your preferred gender marker on your passport.

I went back to my local Social Security office and had to school them on the new policy (6 months after it was implemented!). But the clerk checked with a supervisor and five minutes later they processed my gender change without another hitch."

Sorry for the all the quotes there but I thought the info may be able to help you. The person they were talking to has had breast surgery and they were able to get their marker changed in SSA records. The FAQ for gender will give you more information that hopefully helps.

[Sakura]

Oooooh I did not know that when I had looked into it was like 3 years ago. Thankies for the info

[Guest]

Going back to sixteen is a long, long time ago. Now as I look at pictures from then, I was very feminine looking. No wonder I became hugely over compensating to prove I was the man. Never mind how I looked and felt privately, but that was another day. I too did not have any symptoms openly and dramatically of GID. That came after Estrogen and all my brain lights came on. From the moment I started HRT the Genie was out of the bottle never to return.

I do have one slight variation, I'm intersexed. I have great female coding at the gate, so I had a fabulous transformation even late in the game. I have not had surgery one. The Boob Fairy showered her love and my whole body changed radically. It is a total game changer, not for the faint at heart. U-turns are very difficult too.

My suggestion would be to see a gender therapist first. Dig into finding the real you. Then I would see what HRT would do. It is reversible in the beginning, as you go along that changes too. I truly believe you will need very little modification, if any. Let your second puberty completely run it's coarse. Then go under the knife if all else fails.

I changed my name completely, then all my legals and accounts. Filed my gender marker change on my new drivers license, then filed changes at SSA. That was two months before the new law change, so I went back to SSA to change my gender marker. I just received my pretty new F marker Passport. I am irreversibly female, mind, body, soul, legals, lock, stock and barrel!

Easy enough to do, just take your time and investigate each step thoroughly. The turtle wins the race. Your journey will unfold soon enough. Hug. JodyAnn

[Guest JayGray]

I feel like I'm in a similar boat. I don't know if it was from my own obliviousness to my being transgender. I was always a bit feminine, or perhaps I was simply unmasculine. There were many things that I did that I'd catch myself doing and say "no, men don't do that" (like sway my hips when I walk). It wasn't until I realized that I was transgender and stopped letting myself do those things that my depression lifted.

I do have a bit of dysphoria, and its in relation to my voice and my face. My voice tends to be high, but this seems to be a reflexive change of mine; my natural register is very low. As for my face, I don't really recognize myself in the mirror or in pictures, at least not until more recently when I started moisturising and plucking my eyebrows.

I don't intend on getting genital surgery. I may get breast augmentation if I want them to be bigger than hormones make them (I'm 6 feet tall, so I'd like them to be in proportion; though I won't have very wide hips). The way I see it, my genitals only matter to my wife and I.

[Guest Melissa~]

Oh sure one could be trans and not have dysphoria, but the dysphoria is the primary motivator for transition. One could transition without any motivation, it's not typical thing. I certainly am not one to claim my body and life are perfect...They are a work in progress.

[gennee]

I am transgender but I'm not dysphoric. I am most comfortable presenting as a woman. Changing my gender marker has rumbled in my mind from time to time but I don't know if I will follow up on this. A turning point for me was when I went to church as a woman for the first time. It felt so right. I have been attending services as a woman since then.

I am considering taking some voice lessons. I discovered that I was transgender when I was fifty seven. I never tied my feeling of being different to a gender issue. While I'm not going to transition physically, I certainly have emotionally.