Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

This is from Loqua, The forums are not working for her


jenerosity

Recommended Posts

Hello mother, I am your child.
I want a talk with you.
Don't make a note, to have it filed.

I remember how we used to talk,
Innocent work gossip,
I try to speak, and yet you balk.

Do you love me? I cannot tell.
Your distance quells my heart,
But I love you, hope you are well.

I know you work, very hard at that.
When will you hear my words?
I'm your daughter, that is a fact.

I understand, you birthed a son,
born healthy, happy, strong.
It should not change, or be undone.

Toy swords and blocks, train tracks and cars,
They held my attention.
Blue stripes on clothes, or even green stars.

You saw a boy, this much I see,
Full of energy and glee.
This was your truth, I can not disagree.

So what is wrong? Would you listen please?
I am still your child.
That is still true, no one will tease.

Outside the church, that's where I park.
Alone i sleep in my car,
Wondering why, crying in dark.

Your words sting me, when we do speak.
Am I unimportant?
I don't see love, it looks so bleak.

Do I matter, or am worth care?
Can I hear 'I love you?'
It hurts so much, so hard to bear.

Those words mean much, but were not said.
It has been seven years.
'I'll never hear,' I really dread.

I think 'what if's, in dark of night,
I think 'would you miss me?'
It feels like not, fills me with fright.

Emails promised, never gotten.
Wondering if you care,
I wait alone, I'm downtrodden.

Will you hear me? I am still here.
I wait on hope's high cloud,
Drifting on down, nothing is clear.

Maybe I'm wrong, if you don't care,
I won't hear 'I love you.'
Listen to me, I give this dare.

I will not stay, hurt me anymore.
Say to me what you mean.
I'll tell you now, not at the door.

I am your child, am your daughter.
I won't let you hurt me,
Not anymore, nor will father.

I'm moving on, without you now,
I wish you would come with.
I cannot wait, no grace endow.

Goodbye mother, I am your child.
You showed how much you care,
Actions speak loud, your words were mild.

And please tell me, if I am wrong.
I do hope I am wrong,
I want to hope, as my heartsong.
Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

A lovely poem which certainly expresses the difficulty we often face as we deal with those we love but who simply cannot accept us.

If this currently expresses your world i hope you hear the words: i love you, soon and often. We all need the love of others.

Hugs,

Charlize

Link to comment
Guest Kalie Aowynn

That was horrible and it was beautiful and so many things in between. I wanted to cry the whole way through it and scream out to them what is wrong with you.

I also saw my life in there. The hurt I felt when i told my mother and when she said nothing.Just sat there and after an hour finally said "I knew there was something different with you . Something wrong in you."

I swore they would never hurt me like that again. And i have been on this journey alone until this last year when i found Laura's-Playground and some of the folks here in Arizona.

That was a wonderful poem hun and I was captivated by it.

Kalie

Link to comment
Guest Loqua

Thank you for your comments. I finally managed to get a forum account setup and not fighting me like it had when I had tried a year ago. I didn't expect it to be nearly as good as people say, but it was nice to hear that it was.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   7 Members, 0 Anonymous, 124 Guests (See full list)

    • Breezy Victor
    • Ashley0616
    • violet r
    • MaeBe
    • AllieJ
    • April Marie
    • VickySGV
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.3k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,023
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Delaney
    Newest Member
    Delaney
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Bebhar
      Bebhar
      (41 years old)
    2. caelensmom
      caelensmom
      (40 years old)
    3. Jani
      Jani
      (70 years old)
    4. Jessicapitts
      Jessicapitts
      (37 years old)
    5. klb046
      klb046
      (30 years old)
  • Posts

    • awkward-yet-sweet
      The usual social ways, of course.  Taking care of my partners and stepkids, being involved in my community.  That makes me feel good about my role.   As for physical validation and gender... probably the most euphoric experience is sex.  I grew up with my mother telling me that my flat and boyish body was strange, that my intersex anatomy was shameful, that no man would want me. So experiencing what I was told I could never have is physical proof that I'm actually worth something.  
    • KathyLauren
      <Moderator hat on>  I think that, at this point we need to get the thread back onto the topic, which is the judge's ruling on the ballot proposition.  If there is more to be said on the general principles of gendered spaces etc., please discuss them, carefully and respectfully, in separate threads. <Moderator hat off>
    • Abigail Genevieve
      People who have no understanding of transgender conditions should not be making policy for people dealing with it. Since it is such a small percentage of the population, and each individual is unique, and their circumstances are also unique, each situation needs to be worked with individually to see that the best possible solution is implemented for those involved. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      No.  You are getting stuck on one statement and pulling it out of context.   Trans kids have rights, but so do non-trans kids.  That conflict is best worked out in the individual situation. 
    • MaeBe
      I get the concept, I believe. You're trying to state that trans kids need to or should be excluded from binary gender spaces and that you acknowledge that answers to accommodate those kids may not be found through policy. I disagree with the capability of "penetration" as being the operative delimiter in the statement, however. I contest this statement is poorly chosen at best and smacks of prejudice at worst. That it perpetuates certain stereotypes, whether that was the intent or not.   Frankly, all kids should have the right to privacy in locker rooms, regardless of gender, sexuality, or anatomy. They should also have access to exercise and activities that other kids do and allow them to socialize in those activities. The more kids are othered, extracted, or barred from the typical school day the more isolated and stigmatized they become. That's not healthy for anyone, the excluded for obvious reasons and the included for others--namely they get to be the "haves" and all that entails.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Context.  Read the context.  Good grief.
    • MaeBe
      Please don't expect people to read manifold pages of fiction to understand a post.   There was a pointed statement made, and I responded to it. The statement used the term penetration, not "dissimilar anatomy causing social discomfiture", or some other reason. It was extended as a "rule" across very different social situations as well, locker and girl's bedrooms. How that term is used in most situations is to infer sexual contact, so most readers would read that and think the statement is that we "need to keep trans girl's penises out of cis girls", which reads very closely to the idea that trans people are often portrayed as sexual predators.   I understand we can't always get all of our thoughts onto the page, but this doesn't read like an under-cooked idea or a lingual short cut.
    • Ashley0616
      I shopped online in the beginning of transition. I had great success with SHEIN and Torrid!
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Have you read the rest of what I wrote?   Please read between the lines of what I said about high school.  Go over and read my Taylor story.  Put two and two together.   That is all I will say about that.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      "I feel like I lost my husband," Lois told the therapist,"I want the man I married." Dr. Smith looked at Odie, sitting there in his men's clothing, looking awkward and embarrassed. "You have him.  This is just a part of him you did not know about. Or did not face." She turned to Odie,"Did you tear my wedding dress on our wedding night?" He admitted it.  She had a whole catalog of did-you and how-could you.  Dr. Smith encouraged her to let it all out. Thirty years of marriage.  Strange makeup in the bathroom.  The kids finding women's laundry in the laundry room. There was reconciliation. "What do we do now?" Dr. Smith said they had to work that out.  Odie began wearing women's clothing when not at work.  They visited a cross-dressers' social club but it did not appeal to them.  The bed was off limits to cross dressing.  She had limits and he could respect her limits.  Visits to relatives would be with him in men's clothing.    "You have nail polish residue," a co-worker pointed out.  Sure enough, the bottom of his left pinky nail was bright pink  His boss asked him to go home and fix it.  He did.   People were talking, he was sure, because he doubted he was anywhere as thorough as he wanted to be.  It was like something in him wanted to tell everyone what he was doing, and he was sloppy.   His boss dropped off some needed paperwork on a Saturday unexpectedly and found Odie dressed in a house dress and wig.  "What?" the boss said, shook his head, and left.  None of his business.   "People are talking," Lois said. "They are asking about this," she pointed to his denim skirt. "This seems to go past or deeper than cross dressing."   "Yes.  I guess we need some counseling."  And they went.
    • April Marie
      You look wonderful!!! A rose among the roses.
    • Ashley0616
      Mine would be SHEIN as much as I have bought from them lol.
    • MaeBe
      This is the persistence in thinking of trans girls as predators and, as if, they are the only kind of predation that happens in locker rooms. This is strikingly close to the dangerous myth that anatomy corresponds with sexuality and equates to gender.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      At the same time there might be mtf boys who transitioned post-puberty who really belong on the girls' teams because they have more similarities there than with the boys, would perform at the same level, and might get injured playing with the bigger, stronger boys.   I well remember being an androgynous shrimp in gym class that I shared with seniors who played on the football team.  When PE was no longer mandatory, I was no longer in PE. They started some mixed PE classes the second semester, where we played volleyball and learned bowling and no longer mixed with those seniors, boys and girls together.
    • Timi
      Leggings and gym shorts, sweatshirt, Handker wild rag. Listening to new Taylor Swift album while strolling through the rose garden in the park. 
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...