Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Worried for what a new year brings...


Guest Plush

Recommended Posts

Guest Plush

Hello everyone, before i start, I'm still a little nervous about posting on this forum and i hope this is the right section to post this in; so bear with me. So basically I've had thoughts troubling me for quite some time now, so I'm going to ask. Should I come out as a female next school year? Will i pass? Will i be accepted? I do apologize but I'm still nervous to post a picture of my face, but i think it's kind of feminine except my extremely bushy eyebrows and my nose... Anywho, basically I go to a charter school, most people in the community are kind but some can be huge jerks, and overall it's a small school, about 600 people 7-12th grade. Attending right now are 5 transgender people that i know of, 6 including me. Overall people are accepting to them. But in my case, I'm different then any of them. The thing is.... they are all FTM transgenders and I'm the only MTF transgender. Each of them pull off a male look, dress like a man, act like a man, look like a man, with the exception of a minuscule sign of their breasts. For the time being, they seem like boys just starting puberty. But with me its different, my voice is semi-deep, i look like a guy, but i act like a girl. People think I'm gay but I'm not, I'm really a transgender but they don't know that. A few times actually some guy might come up to me when i'm talking to someone and be like "what are you a girl or something" i cant help but blush furiously while they walk away laughing their brains out. Another time i forgot to wash off all my makeup from home the pervious night and 3 people asked if i had makeup on. Hints? Sure, leave it at that. Sorry for rambling, anyway i'm scared i wont be as accepted being a MTF at my school because i might not pull it off. I can't really think of a valid reason to be honest. It's like I'm the first MTF there and while people are used to FTM it will be different for me since nobody else besides me at my school is a MTF. I'm sick of being refered to as a guy, everytime someone calls me by a male term i can not help but get depressed. I could be really happy and then someone calls me a he and I'll instantly be depressed again. Away from the school predicament, this summer i will be going to an amusement park and I really want to dress as a female there but I'm too scared to do it, what if i get weird looks? What if someone attacks me for my appearence? What if i do pull it off but my voice ruins it all? So what do you all think i should do? My mother told me she thinks its best to wait till i graduate but the thing is, i can't wait that long. I'd probably be dead before i get to that point if i dont change something. Oh and I'll be a freshman next year. Hopefully a freshwoman though :)

Best Wishes!!! Jackie<3

Link to comment
  • Admin

Jackie -- I do think you can live with being a teenage guy for a while longer if you have as many uncertainties as you do at the minute. I did not even know the term "Transgender" back in 1962 when I began my High School Freshman year, but knew things were badly screwed up and I was not the person I tried to be so darned hard. I do remember how much of hurry I was in at your age to get to be older and now look at life in the other direction. All of us GD folks have to learn to be survivors, but we make it in time.

As far as going to an amusement park in girl mode this summer, why not? Wearing a pink baseball cap, a print T shirt and shorts is what I wear today to do it. I just fit in with what the other girls are wearing. Unless the park in Disneyland or Disney World, I would stay away from princess outfits, but a skirt or skorts would be fine. If you are smiling, people will think you are a girl, since guys don't smile as much.

Is there a GLBTS group on campus? If the guys there at school are part of it, join it and use that as a way to get in with them and make them your friends. At that point they can accept you into the circle, and the gay thing will get straightened out.

Keep coming here and working on coming out gradually and maybe not for your freshman (freshwoman) year, but possibly there is a prom dress in your future in your Junior or Senior year. Hang in there and you will make it, and live as long as I have.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Jackie do your parents know how you feel? often their opinion and support means much more than our opinions. That being said i would talk to them about going to a gender therapist. My GT helps many young people, many of whom are younger than you. If you are going to transition at school you will need support. FTMs have a bit of an advantage in that many girls dress like boys at times. Boys however never dress like girls except at Halloween when they may have the freedom to express themselves.

Listen to your mom but also consider therapy. The therapist can help both you and your parents and who know maybe you can enter high school as a freshwoman. It is amazing how things change but as Vicky says you do have time. Try to enjoy your time regardless of your gender presentation. If you can do that you will be able to be even happier later.

Oh by the way i was shy when i came here as well but as you might notice it wears off.

Hugs,

Charlize

Link to comment

Is the school administration supportive? Do those trans guys use the male restroom without hassle, etc.?

It sounds like your peers already know Something is up with you.

Have you seen a therapist? A gender therapist can help you work out what the gender stuff means for you and help you figure out the what's and when's of your next steps. They can also help your parents understand. That would be my next step in your shoes--ask your mom about seeing a therapist.

Link to comment
Guest Plush

Is the school administration supportive? Do those trans guys use the male restroom without hassle, etc.?

It sounds like your peers already know Something is up with you.

Have you seen a therapist? A gender therapist can help you work out what the gender stuff means for you and help you figure out the what's and when's of your next steps. They can also help your parents understand. That would be my next step in your shoes--ask your mom about seeing a therapist.

Yes, the school administration is supportive but still can't use the bathroom of which gender we aren't biologically(meaning born female cant use male bathrooms). However, we do have non-gender specific bathrooms that we're allowed to use. I do have a therapist, but he does not know about my gender problems, he's just a basic therapist, I'm not sure if my mother would let me see a Gender therapist though... should I tell my normal therapist? Thanks to everyone that replied i would quote you all but im not sure how to double quote, I'm on a mobile device, but anywho, @Charlize my parents do know but aren't that supportive, i think they are trying to deal with the fact that they don't have a son anymore still, i know its hard on them, but when i told them they tried to discourage it, well my mom basically; my dad is just an obedient husband that listens to my mother. So its kind of in the middle as far as knowing if they support me rightnow. One thing my mom told me was its probably a phase but i know it is not, phases dont last for years and years. And thanks to you too Vicky, I'll keep in mind to stay strong when im feeling down, and just think of that dress hah. There is a lgbt support group but im scared to go there, i'm not sure why but i just am... so yeah, thanks again everyone, already feeling at home here!

Best Wishes to all of you!

Link to comment
Guest LizMarie

You should talk to your therapist. No one graduates from college as a "gender therapist". It's something they acquire from experience working with patients who have GID. Your therapist may be able to help you directly, or may make a recommendation to your parents that you see someone else. You can also ask your therapist to not reveal this information to your parents right now and they are ethically bound to not reveal it so your parents would not know why you might get recommended to see another therapist.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   5 Members, 0 Anonymous, 118 Guests (See full list)

    • Ashley0616
    • MaryEllen
    • Ivy
    • Wasylyna
    • DeeDee
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,940
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Raelyn
    Newest Member
    Raelyn
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. **Angela Charlotte **
      **Angela Charlotte **
    2. Carlie
      Carlie
      (63 years old)
    3. Cbxshawn
      Cbxshawn
      (49 years old)
    4. HannahO
      HannahO
      (31 years old)
    5. JustKatie
      JustKatie
      (40 years old)
  • Posts

    • Ashley0616
      Wow that is a high number for Estradiol good grief! Testosterone levels are better than mine. I don't remember my Estradiol level but testosterone was 80. To me that is really high but it was in the two hundreds the check in before last one. 
    • Ivy
      I don't understand why this would make a difference being a "dad" I mean, as far as how they would grow.
    • Ashley0616
      I don't see why not. I have worn forms since I came out. 
    • MaeBe
      I have never worn breastforms, but I assume as long as they don't aggravate your nipples you could.
    • MaeBe
      Every week I've been excited to take my shot, so it's never been an issue. Yesterday, however, I woke up and started my usual "slow roll" and then suddenly realized I had breakfast plans that I had to rush out the door for. After, it was straight into work calls, and then I got the notification from the doctor about things being too high and all the while my mind had completely slipped that I needed take my shot.   Given that I am not asking for medical advice, but sharing my journey, I will note my results: Estradiol at 447 pg/mL and Testosterone was 23 ng/dL, up and down from 26 pg/mL and 526 ng/dL respectively before treatment. Almost flipped the bit! The doc would like my Estradiol closer to 300 pg/mL, so we'll see what Monday's tests state.   Oh, and I teased the dinner with old soccer teammates and never updated the thread! It went well. There were a couple funny moments. One guy, who I was worried about their response, greeted me with "Hey, you've lost some weight!" 😎 And a friend who lives near me picked me up on the way to dinner exclaimed, after we learned one of the invitees might show up with a date, "Wait! We could have brought women?!" To which I instantly responded, "You kind of did, bringing me!" Everyone got a good laugh out of that. 😁
    • Ashley0616
      To me there isn't that much difference other the measurement, which side the zipper is on and men's pants have bigger pockets. 
    • missyjo
      I hope this is not stupid question..I have yet to start n not sure if doc will approve..but once you start growing buds n such, can you still wear forms to get to the size you were?   I'm a dad, so when I start blossoms they will be smaller for a long time n probably need surgical augmented..that's fine. I don't want to go ddd to aa to ddd..   any ideas?   thank you
    • missyjo
      April sounds fun..I keep some boy jeans to visit mom in..fir now   hugs
    • Ivy
      I like them too.  We had them growing up.  But my father's family were Swedes.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Oh my!  I guess it just goes to show how different tastes can be. Since we don't live near the ocean, Seafood is a rare luxury. We absolutely love pickled herring! Especially my husband and my GF, I guess it's a Ferman/Russian cultural thing.  But most of the kids like it too, and a jar wouldn't last in the pantry for long 😆
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      I think the key to that is just not minding eating the same thing repeatedly. Since we produce a lot of our own food here, we end up eating what is in season at the moment. So, when the yellow squash is ripening, we end up fixing squash 20 different ways. When the strawberries are ready, we eat lots of strawberries. It's kind of a different mindset to eat in season when it has become such a part of American culture but the grocery store has everything we want all the time. Like grapes in December.  My family does even things out a little bit by having a greenhouse so we have some fresh things in the winter, but it's not a 100% fix.
    • KathyLauren
      My brothers and I had to eat what was on the plate.  All of it, and nothing else.  Pickiness was not tolerated.  Some of our least favourite were liver and onions, sauerkraut, and especially rollmops (pickled herring).  We finally protested enough to persuade our mother not to serve rollmops, though she kept a jar in the pantry for years afterwards, as a threat if we didn't behave.
    • Carolyn Marie
      I'll go first.  My favorite team is the Yankees.  Loved them since I was a kid.  I was born in NYC so, yeah.  I know everyone loves to hate them, and that's OK.  I just love baseball in general.  It's a game of traditions, strategy, power, grace and skill.   Play Ball!!  ⚾   Carolyn Marie
    • Ashley0616
      I guess you do have a good point. It's just hard to try and not have the same meals over and over again. 
    • Willow
      Hi   I’ll weigh in on being picky about food.  Yes, and I was brought up that way.  We didn’t have to eat everything our parents ate.  They had a number of things they ate that they figured we wouldn’t eat, an acquired taste things or one or the other didn’t like them too.   even as an adult there are many things I won’t eat.  In my defense, there are different things my wife won’t eat.   the weird thing is that after being in E, my tastes have changed.  Sweet, sour, salty or bland, if I eat or drink too much of any one thing and I have to counter act it.   Willow
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...