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The Pain

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Having been told my "writing" is raw.

How is this?

Who are you,
to say I’m wrong?

Does my heart,
not beat?

Do I,
not breath?

Have I,
no pulse?

When I cut,
do I not bleed?

Is my blood,
not red?

When I weep,
are my tears not wet?

Who were you,
to take my life?

Must I alone,
or will you my Love,

Help me,
stop the pain.

Huggs, :wub:

Joann

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Charlize

If raw then also powerful

but who am i to judge.

Hugs,

Charlize

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Guest Jennifer T

Raw? Concise, powerful, elegant in its movement, I like it a lot!

Well done!

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Guest

:ThanxSmiley::D

Feedback from our expert writer.^^^ :blush:

Huggs, :wub:

Joann

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Guest Jennifer T

Oh Joann, an expert I am assuredly not. Experienced, to a degree. But far from the the realm of Olympus, I be! I am as Icarus, who once dreamed...

You know, I read your poem with the accent of the British aristocracy. And I must say it was quite beautiful!! Your words lent themselves well to the powerful emotions that lie dormant beneath an austere facade; the tone of royalty.

I say not these things in petty flattery, but as a honest appraisal. :-)

Peace.

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Guest

Raw is the best place to start from that's for sure. Very nice poem Joann60 :)

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Guest Faith gibson

I like it a lot Joann. Be well - Faith

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Guest

:ThanxSmiley: Girl. :friends:

I am glad you liked it.

Huggs, :wub:

Joann

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Guest Brenda Hailey

Raw is real, give me raw.

Deliberate questioning for a decisive answer,no room for gentle embellishment,or gelded emotion.

Brenda

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Guest Brenda Hailey

Raw is real, give me raw.

Deliberate questioning for a decisive answer,no room for gentle embellishment,or gelded emotion.

Brenda

It should have read "gilded" emotion,,,,,,,nothing to do with horses.....lol

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Guest

:D

We knew what you meant Girl. :friends:

Huggs, :wub:

Joann

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VickySGV

:goodjob::welldone::)

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Guest miss kindheart

Please be safe Joann

Know that you are loved

<<< hug >>>

Love :wub: vanna

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Guest

How did I miss Vicky's post? :blush::banghead:

:ThanxSmiley: both, Girls.

Huggs, :wub:

Joann

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