My youth pastor has "promoted" me to the adult class

[Guest Motormouth18]

My youth pastor has "promoted" me to the adult class on Wednesday nights, which I hate. I feel like a fish out of water. I'm the only person under the age of 40 in there. The next youngest? The pastor himself at the age of 42. I love my pastor to death, but I don't like his way of teaching. He goes so in depth because he's an evangelist. He just preaches, whereas my youth pastor will sit down and have a discussion with his class, which is much more my style, so to speak. My youth pastor said that I'd get so much more out of our pastor's message. Boy, was he wrong. I can get what my pastor's preaching, yes, but his message isn't so clear, if that makes sense. Not mention, I'm still gonna be in school(college) soon. The pastor uses adult life(kids, marriage, jobs, mortgages, etc) in his sermons. None of which apply to me. Heck, I don't even have a boyfriend or a social/work life at all. Wouldn't I have more in common with the 13-17 year olds?

There's one other thing too. My pastor isn't as accepting of me being trans as the youth pastor. My pastor is only tolerate, whereas my youth pastor is supportive. He understands that this exists and it ain't in my head of the devil at work.

Wednesday, I'm gonna talk to my youth pastor. Tell him what I just wrote. I know that I'm gonna be stuck in the adult class til August because the wacky Wednesdays are for the kids, but afterwards, when school starts back, if I'm gonna be forced into the adult class, I'm gonna stop going. Why should I go when I don't fit it, and I don't get the message preached?

[Carolyn Marie]

I agree, hon. If you don't like the idea of the promotion, then don't do it. I don't know how things work, but I can't believe they would make you do something you don't feel right for, where you don't fit in and aren't comfortable. This has to be about more than what fits their needs. Let them know how you feel. If you don't fight for what you want, who will fight for you?

Carolyn Marie

[Charlize]

You may be simply suffering one of the consequences of growing up. I remember having to leave teachers i really loved when i was young. It took a long time to relate to the new one. Fortunately you still have your youth pastor to talk to.

I'd give the new fellow a chance and if after some imd it doesn't seem to be what you need it may be time to move on.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Ravin]

Does your church not have a young adult class at all? I know many churches of your denomination or similar have that, targeted at college-aged kids, single young adults and often another class for young married people as well. It sounds like there is a large generation gap at your church, and without targeted ministry, it's likely to stay that way. I doubt you are the only kid to graduate high school at that church--do others tend to disappear/stop going? Is there another church in the area that might be more welcoming to you as a young adult?

[Guest Motormouth18]

I've given my pastor 2 chances before, both for Sunday Worship. Both times, I ended up walking out because I couldn't take his style of preaching. He feels like we're nothing but scum that deserves to be discarded like you'd do to the scum on your shoe(paraphrasing his words from last week) and preaches like that. I fail to see how we're scum. Inferior to God, yes, sinners. yes, but scum? Talking like that to a person with severe self esteem issues isn't a good idea.

Almost every youth aged kid at my church has left before graduating HS. When I joined the youth in 2008, there were 6 or 7 of us who were less than a year apart. Now, I'm the only one. It was the same with the youth before me(currently ages 25-30). None of them stayed after their junior year, except one, but he left right after HS. Most kids desire to leave this rural area(town of 600 people. The county has four towns with less than 1.500 people in each) for college, and 90% of them do.

I was under the impression that this new youth group that my church has got now was gonna go through college age because of the lack of young adults. Either my youth pastor changed his mind, or there was some miscommunication there. There was supposed to be a college age thing every second Saturday of each month, but that hasn't happened. 2 months in a row with nothing.

My church is the biggest around here. There are no other "white" churches around here with people my age.(churches here are very segregated. My church is the only one with white and black people). The Methodist church has a congregation of the elderly folk in town and they only have Sunday worship twice a month. All of the rest of the churches are either for blacks or are even smaller in size and classes.

[Guest Sylvie]

My youth pastor said that I'd get so much more out of our pastor's message. [cut] The pastor uses adult life(kids, marriage, jobs, mortgages, etc) in his sermons. None of which apply to me. Heck, I don't even have a boyfriend or a social/work life at all.

I think if you focus on the above, you can maybe angle it like, "Thanks for suggesting I give the adult class a try. I've noticed that it is geared for adults in a vastly different place in life than I am. I get so much more out of the youth class and have prayerfully decided to continue attending that class."

(maybe the "prayerfully" part is a cheap shot, makes it harder for him to argue about it possibly haha)

Really though, I hope the chat with your youth pastor goes well! I think this is a common problem in many churches, forgetting about the group of people who are no longer in high school, but aren't in (maybe even, not looking for) a serious relationship/marriage/having kids.

[Guest Jan Jane]

Were it me, I'd tough it out till I go to college. I've attended several and there are always local congregations with active college aged groups. They pick you up and deliver back to campus and often you get invited to meals and etc. You may find one that you'll really be happy with.

[Ravin]

Given that lack, I'd try talking to the youth pastor again. Point out the departure of your peers, and ask him to reconsider.

And keep working on getting out of that small town yourself.

[Guest Motormouth18]

Well, my youth pastor wasn't there, so I couldn't talk to him. he's busy with a summer camp for kids. I fell asleep for a few minutes on my the pastor because of disinterest and because the air conditioning wasn't working well. I told him that I fell asleep. He said that he saw that and he wished that he had something to throw at me(joking). He also said that I did well. I think that he realizes that I'm not ready for his class.