Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Coming Out To My Church????


Guest PatrickLee

Recommended Posts

Guest PatrickLee

I have, very recently accepted God and His everlasting love into my life. The youth minister at the church I attend is a kind and caring man. He was there for me and gave me his thoughts on some of the things I was doing in my life and told me how much better life can be if I only prayed and asked for it. It is because of his exelent advice that I now love God and appricate all the blessings He has given me, including my being a transsexual.

One of the only issues with me coming out to every one (not just my closest friends) is that most of the people I know are VERY religious and take their beliefs to the extreme. I do not want to lose the support that I have been granted just because I wish to have the body of a man. I know God has accepted me into his arms and I'm trying very hard to convice one of my friends that I can be loved by God and be a transman. I don't know if I really want to come out to my youth minister but I feel as though I have to. He has put alot into me and helped me on my journey into accepting and loving myself in ways that he doesn't know about. I want to thank him for everything. That means I have to tell him everything.

Is there anything I can say that might make this go a bit easier? Or is there a scripture that could help? I'm pretty lost on what to say to him... I plan on telling him on Wendsday or next Sunday.

Any and all advice would be greatly appricated

Thank you.

Patrick

Link to comment

This is one of the hardest decisions that you will have to make.

Most churches tend to be so conservative that they will have difficulty in even trying to understand.

If you feel that you must tell your youth minister right away, please do approach him with the positive aproach and tell him how much he has helped you already and ask him not to discuss this with anyone else until you are ready.

Good luck,

Sally

Link to comment
Guest PatrickLee

Thanks for the advice.

I want to do this as soon as possible so I can 1)get it over with and 2)continue on with trying to tell my family...

hope it all goes well

Link to comment
Guest michelle.butterfly

Hi Patrick,

I would say it depends on the denomination of your church and whether you are ready/willing/able to be an advocate for the transgendered within your congregation. It's possible that you will be accepted with open arms and love as one might hope, or it's possible you will face an uphill battle for acceptance. On the one hand, yours would be a very powerful testimony, on the other hand it can be a big blow to your faith if you find those in the church to be other than as you would expect.

If your youth minister was an important part of you accepting God into your life then I can understand why you would want him to know who you are, and I will pray that you find the love that Jesus taught in him and your church. However if for some reason you do not, please do not find it a reason to abandon your new-found faith as there are other denominations and other churches in which you may be able to find the communion with others that you are looking for.

Just for a little bit of background on where I am coming from, I was raised Southern Baptist, however over time I have come to find myself in much closer affinity to the United Church of Christ. UCC churches are free to choose their own particular doctrines, but in July of 2003 the national delegate body of the UCC (a Synod) adopted a resolution encouraging the acceptance and inclusion of the transgendered into the church, which, when I found out about it not too long ago, simply reaffirmed my belief that it is a very close match for me.

http://www.ucc.org/assets/pdfs/2003-AFFIRM...UMAN-RIGHTS.pdf

"...THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED THAT all congregations of the United Church of Christ are encouraged to welcome transgender people into membership, ministry, and full participation; and

"BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED THAT all settings of the United Church of Christ are encouraged to learn about the realities of transgender experience and expression, including the gifts and callings and needs of transgender people, and are encouraged to engage in appropriate dialogue with transgender people; ..."

With much love,

Michelle

Link to comment
Guest PatrickLee

Its a 1st Baptist church. I know the preacher personally and know his veiws on the GLBT communitee. They don't agree with my views in the least.

Thanks for the link. I'd print it off but I dont have a printer... Although its kind of sad that there had to be a bill that passed in order for this to come to be. On the other hand, it shows that there are people fighting for this.

I am ready to be an advocate, whether or not people are ready for me is the question.

I have been fought against, pushed around, thrown down, called hurtfull things all my life. (even though 18 yrs is a short time...) I can and will be able to fight for the things I believe in. I really hope it doesnt come down to me fighting the church...

I know God is on my side. I will let His love shine thru me and hopefuly someone else can see it.

Thank you for your support on this... I have already been... not kicked out... but its difficult to go back to my old church because I came out as bisexual. I gave up in that fight. I wont give up now until I have made my views clear and they have made their decission, what ever it may be.

Thanks again.

~Patrick

Link to comment
Guest ~Brenda~

Dear PatrickLee,

This message is for you and all others that I hear a recurring theme about the angst of "coming out". Don't concsciously be concerned about coming out. Be who you are and "coming out" will take care of itself. I know this probably seems meaningless to you, but it is so important and true. If you continue to be who you are, you will find that one day everyone knows who you truely are and the cat is out of the bag. Without conscious effort, you will have come out to everyone one day. Just be yourself!!!

Love

bernie

Link to comment
Guest michelle.butterfly
Its a 1st Baptist church. I know the preacher personally and know his veiws on the GLBT communitee. They don't agree with my views in the least.

Then it sounds like you know what you are getting into. :)

Thanks for the link. I'd print it off but I dont have a printer... Although its kind of sad that there had to be a bill that passed in order for this to come to be. On the other hand, it shows that there are people fighting for this.

You're welcome. Actually, the UCC has for a long time been one of the most inclusive Christian churches, and it's likely that most individual member churches were already quite accepting prior to this, it is just an explicit addition to their already very inclusive "Open and Affirming" recommendations. And, really, even prior to that it's likely that most individual member churches were already quite accepting of the LGBT community.

I am ready to be an advocate, whether or not people are ready for me is the question.

...I can and will be able to fight for the things I believe in. I really hope it doesnt come down to me fighting the church...

That's awesome, and you know we will be here to support you and bring you cookies and cocoa (ok, well I'm to lazy to make cookies and cocoa but I bet I can convince Sally to... HEY SALLY!).

I know God is on my side. I will let His love shine thru me and hopefuly someone else can see it.

You got it, hon. Let your light shine. I know I try, although I have not chosen to do it at a church. :)

Much love,

Michelle

Link to comment
Guest michelle.butterfly
This message is for you and all others that I hear a recurring theme about the angst of "coming out". Don't concsciously be concerned about coming out. Be who you are and "coming out" will take care of itself. I know this probably seems meaningless to you, but it is so important and true. If you continue to be who you are, you will find that one day everyone knows who you truely are and the cat is out of the bag. Without conscious effort, you will have come out to everyone one day. Just be yourself!!!

Yeah Bernie, y'know, you are very wise. :)

As a whole you are absolutely right, and I think there are a lot of people that need to hear that! Although I do understand there is sometimes an internal desire or external need to 'come out' to particular people (for me it was mostly people that I wanted to hear it from me instead of someone else, and I did have to explicitly 'come out' at my job since I wanted them to start using my name because they were sending out proposals with my old name on them.) :D

But your point is well-taken; we've been talking about this more and more lately and it's actually something I think I'm about to post a topic on--the division I see between those of us that feel there are some rules that should to be followed if you are TS (less so if referring to non-TS TG) versus those of us who believe it is all about being yourself, without worrying so much about the "rules'.

With love,

Michelle

Link to comment
Guest ~Brenda~

Dearest Michelle,

You have a very good point about explicitly coming out to a certain person under your own terms. I have done the same thing. For me, it was my ex-wife. I had to tell her directly. All I can say is this... explicitly or indireclty, coming out must be natural, not forced. When I came out to my ex-wife, the time was so clear that it was time to come out, there was no real choice!!

thank you so much for your thoughts and love.

I so respect you!!

bernie

Link to comment
Guest PatrickLee
This message is for you and all others that I hear a recurring theme about the angst of "coming out". Don't concsciously be concerned about coming out. Be who you are and "coming out" will take care of itself. I know this probably seems meaningless to you, but it is so important and true. If you continue to be who you are, you will find that one day everyone knows who you truely are and the cat is out of the bag. Without conscious effort, you will have come out to everyone one day. Just be yourself!!!

Its not meaningless, trust me. Its great advice. One that I will try to live by.

You're right, of cource. I should just be who I am and not worry about the actual 'coming out'. If they will see me for who I am, thats great. If they don't and there is a need to directly 'come out' I'll do it.

Thanks and chocolate chip cookie dough to all who gave me advice! (its wat Im eating right now...)

It will all be taken to heart and used at some point and time, I'm sure! :D

Thanks again,

Patri

Link to comment
Guest Elizabeth K

Patrick

I am against the grain on this one. You will not be understood, regardless of whom you come out to, in the grocery store, in a prayer meeting, in a restaurant. Only transgendered understand the transgendered. Just be prepared. Many people, good intentioned and otherwise, interpret GOD's Will as they see fit.

I am much older. I will NEVER witness my transitioning with a church memeber, preacher, priest, youth minister or otherwise. This is because it is too much of a temptation for people to use scripture - such as a man shall not put on the vestments of a woman... etc. TOTALLY out of context.

Actually there is NOTHING in the Bible regarding the accident of being born in a body that is not a reflection of a person's sense of self. I have studied the Bible for years, but for understanding, not verses to quote. There is nothing about 'gender reassignment." But people will intreret there is PLENTY in the Bible, and call us homosexual and an abomination in the eyes of GOD.

I answer any criticism, and had it from my own wife, who asked why I would shun GOD's gift of my body?

Well... I had a specialized situation in I ASKED for resolution - to gender dysphotia, not my transsexuality, which I was unaware at the time. I was definately and miraculously led to this resolution. I won't witness, but I could as it came to pass under supernatural conditions, an intercession from the Blessed Mother. It is as clear as it can be, I am delivered to my transitioning by GOD's Will. Anyone who debates this is insulting GOD's Will, not me.

Please let us know how it works out if you decide to continue. And I wish you the best, hopefully with a compassionate Christian response.

End of story - that's all I have to say on that (Forrest Gump).

Lizzy

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   3 Members, 0 Anonymous, 89 Guests (See full list)

    • Betty K
    • Faye1972
    • Pip
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,942
    • Most Online
      8,356

    taxicab
    Newest Member
    taxicab
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Amyjay
      Amyjay
      (58 years old)
    2. bettyjean
      bettyjean
    3. Breanna
      Breanna
      (52 years old)
    4. Emily Ayla
      Emily Ayla
    5. JET182
      JET182
  • Posts

    • Susan R
      Love it! This is great news. We need more of this to combat the excessive hate-filled rhetoric and misinformation. 👍
    • Susan R
      The experience was the same for me @April Marie. I slept much deeper and I woke up each morning feeling so much more restful sleeping with forms solidly in place. For me, wearing breast forms at night started when before I was a teenager. I had no access up to modern breast forms and certainly no way to buy mastectomy bras back then. I wore a basic bra my mom had put in a donation box and two pairs of soft cotton socks. I have some crazy memories of things I did in my youth to combat my GD but regardless, these makeshift concoctions helped me work through it all.   All My Best, Susan R🌷
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Colorado isn't exactly a Republican place, and won't become one anytime soon.  I think those folks might be better off not spending their time playing Don Quixote.    We certainly have our share of California "refugees" moving into where I live, so I wouldn't be surprised to start seeing Coloradans too.  I suspect the trend over the next few years will see the blue areas getting more blue and the red areas getting more red as anybody who can relocate tries to find a place where they fit better.   
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Well, at least it'll be a place some folks could choose.  Options are a good thing.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      My family would have gobbled that jar up in a minute or two.  When we do have pickled herring, its usually for Christmas.  I didn't grow up with that particular dish, but I grew up in a Greek family so I like just about any kind of fish if I can get it.  However, ocean fish and freshwater fish taste so different.  We usually have more catfish and tilapia to eat than anything else.    What I can't quite get used to is the tons of cabbage my GF insists on eating.  When you live with a Russian, there is always cabbage soup.  Always.  When I first moved in with her, breakfast was "shchi" for soup and either bread or "kasha" which is a bowl of boiled buckwheat with butter and salt.  Those dishes can be made in any number of ways, some are better than others.  In the winter, it can even be salty and sour like kraut.  Not exactly sauerkraut, but packed in tubs with vinegar and salt so it keeps partially for the winter.  But I drew the line when the cabbage soup included pieces of fried snake one day.  😆
    • Ashley0616
      Good evening to you as well @Mmindy   That is awesome that you have support from her side. My dad has communicated with me once and that was because he was forced to. His new wife wanted to spend time with my kids. He hated me so much he was in the process of taking my rights away as a parent to my two boys. He was talking to a lawyer and I called him out on it. I don't love him at all. I'll respect him because I wouldn't be here without him but I wished I had another father. My uncles don't talk to me and unfriended me on Facebook. Almost all cousins except for two are still Facebook friends but they don't give me any support. My mom said she won't support me with that but she has said that she loves me. I have nieces and nephews that are still Facebook friends but they have yet to talk to me. I have one sister that supports me out of three. The other's disrespect me by deadnaming me. They have never called me their sister. I think for them they think it's still a phase. They don't ask questions about me being trans. I have to bring it up and on the look of their faces they don't look comfortable about it. 
    • Mmindy
      Good evening @Ashley0616,   I just got offline with HP tech support trying to get my printer tool box icon locked to my tool bar. This is one of the most important features of my printer that I like because it keeps track of ink, paper, and scanned documents. I'm diffidently not a computer geek.   I'll catch up with the other bookmarks next week. We leave to go home for the Easter Holiday with our families. Saturday with her side, and Sunday with my side. What's odd about that is I'm out to more of her side and they're reluctantly supportive. My side on the other hand are less supportive, and my sister just under me in age will not acknowledge my being there. She will be constantly moving to keep from dealing with me. I'm dead to her.   Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋  
    • Ashley0616
      I used to follow baseball and the team I would cheer for is Boston Red Sox. My favorite player was Papi. He was an awesome guy and even held a child during the National Anthem. I haven't watched baseball for a long time. It just died off to me. 
    • Ashley0616
      That stinks that nothing transferred, and no bookmarks were saved! 
    • Ashley0616
      I'm doing patches for now but I think soon I'll go to shots because it's hard to alternate when you are doing two xx patches at once. Unless she gives me Estradiol and progesterone
    • Sally Stone
      Go Cleveland Guardians!  I love baseball and I loved playing it when I was younger.  
    • Sally Stone
      My view is we are "dependent" on government, because as a society, we are too lazy to stay actively involved. So, we let politicians do our bidding for us.  I think we'd be in a better place government wise if we policed the actions of our politicians.  We elected them; they work for us.  Sadly, we are allowing them to run amok.  We are where we are because we have chosen to let politicians make all decisions without us.  Remember "by the people, for the people?" That was the intent of our democracy.  Today, however, it is "by the politicians, for the politicians," the people be damned. 
    • Mmindy
      "Play Ball! Batter Up!" is the closing line of the National Anthem as far as I'm concerned. It's the call of the Home Plate Umpire and signals the start of the game. I grew up in the TV and Radio broadcast of the St. Louis Cardinals. Harry Caray, Jack Buck, Tim McCarver, and Mike Shannon, were the voices on my transistor radio. KMOX 1120 AM pushing 50,000 watts of Class A clear-channel non-directional signal. It could be picked up all across MO, IL, IN to the East. KS, OK, CO to the West. IA, MN to the North, and KY, TN, AR to the South. There has always been a rivalry against the Chicago Cubs, in the National League. As for the American League, I have to pull for the Kansas City Royals. I've also been a Little League Umpire, and fan of everything the Little League stands for. Going to Williamsport, PA and seeing the Little League World Series is in my top 10 things to do on my bucket list.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Mmindy
      Good evening everyone,   I don't think my mother ever cooked a meal that I didn't like. We also had a kitchen where mom fixed the food, dad filled your plate, and you eat it. It wasn't until our baby brother was born that we could have Pop-Tarts for snacks. Before that all snacks had to meet mom's approval, and in her opinion wouldn't prevent you from eating supper.   Well my day started off on a good note, but has become frustrating because my IT person didn't transfer my saved videos I use for teaching. Then I found out that they didn't save any of my book marks for websites I use frequently.   Best wishes, stay motivated,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • MaeBe
      The number is relative to method of deliver, the time of the dose, and when the blood is drawn. However, I do want to keep away from DVT and other potential issues. I assume I may be getting backed down from my current dose, but my doc told me to stick with the higher dose, so? I also wonder if this has anything to do the my breast growth and mental changes that have been happening over the past few years, like I have some estrogen sensitivity so a little goes a long way or something? I don't have enough data to postulate, but who knows!   With weekly, subcutaneous, shots you expect to see big swings of serum level estradiol from shot to peak to trough. My doctor is interested in mid-week testing (for E and T levels only), which would be post-peak blood serum levels but they will be higher than trough. Most, if not all, resources I've seen online is to measure at trough (which I might do just to do it next time) along with a SHBG, LH, and other metrics.   This is from transfemscience.org for Estradiol valerate in oil, which is very spiky compared to some other estradiol combinations. It's also for intramuscular, which will have a slower uptake and is usually dosed in higher volume due to the slower absorption rate from muscles. They don't have subcutaneous numbers, which I would expect to see similar spikes but higher levels at similar doses due to the relatively higher absorption rate direct from fat.   Are you doing pills, shots, or patches? And when you do get your levels checked are you getting that done when your levels are lowest or some other time?
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...