That Damned Rainbow

[VickySGV]

I am not talking about the GLB Pride symbol here, so please do not get near those issues in your mind and go way off subject.

The rainbow I am talking about is the one that has the legendary pot (vessel, not plant) of GOLD at its end. I love Rainbow's, and always have, and still will even after I finish this post. I have seen and love rainbows that I have seen from the ground and even seen from airplane windows above the earth's surface. Some rainbows are doubles with the colors reversed one from another, some are only half rainbows where I do not see both ends. A few I have seen do not even have absolutely ALL the colors in them, but they are all beautiful to me. I am not going to gripe about the colors or the completeness of them. It's that damn Pot Of Gold that is the problem, and how we get to it.

I am using the Pot Of Gold here as a metaphor for what we think will at last put our Gender Dysphoria to rest, and live lives no longer ruled by it. The rainbow and our pot, are going to be different for all of us. Some rainbows are steeper than McDonald's golden arches (I went by the original store location the other night) and others seem to have ends from horizon to horizon. In each case, where is the pot of gold? In many cases, it is at the OTHER END of the rainbow, and we cannot get to it by driving a high speed race car from end to end on the ground, and even with an airplane, we lose track of it in other clouds. For all too many of us the real answer is to go to the end and start walking up one side and heading for the other end. Even there we may get lost in the clouds briefly, or we picked a rainbow that did not have an end to it, or worse we started climbing before realizing the Gold was there in front of us all the time. Very few of us will find a perfect resolution to our GD right in plain sight.

What does that Pot Of Gold contain though?

For some of us it contains contentment with only realizing we have the GD and we are not mentally ill. In years to come, it may be that society will accept this idea readily and let us act on our differences without full transition or even so much as three pair of cross gender underwear in our dresser drawers. It will be cool, but still even that Post of Gold was found at a terrific cost and period of rainbow hiking.

For some of us, CDing once or twice a year at a convention will be all the riches in the world, and maybe we saw that in plain sight at the foot of our rainbow, which was the lopsided single leg variety. For others though the CDing just by itself is a terrible climb and will be bought dearly.

I can go on with the different other levels and what they take or do, but the main point is that if we are here at all, we need to acknowledge that IT IS MY DAMN RAINBOW and not the other person's when we start talking about how we have found our reward as we think it. I know that I did not find my real Pot Of Gold at the foot of the first RBow I got to, and saw a tin pan there instead. I had to climb several that were real doozies and find very little at their ends, but the fever continued. Even now I still find parts of my life where the GD has not been fully resolved but some think I have no more Rainbows to climb, and maybe I do not. Even I doubt that it will be fully complete in my remaining life time.

None of you can climb my rainbows, they are one per person, but I can let you see from a distance what the climb was like, and how the journey played out. If I speak with nostalgia, do not take it as a criticism of your life. I speak of how it was, what changed, and what life is like for me today. I have got to admit that my enthusiasm is waning, and my reality is sinking in at last, so the best I can do is equip you with rainbow hunting and climbing gear and let you go. I do not know your way and will not recommend too much even if you ask me, I cannot solve those things for you, I will listen if you want to bounce ideas off of me, but I will make sure you are the one making a decision. In telling me your problem, you will be in a place to answer yourself by the time we are done.

The Damned Rainbow and its treasure are there for you as you can and will do the job. Peace to all you.

No I am not getting ready to quit this place!!

[Guest]

:thumbsup: :thumbsup:

I don't remember posting this.<giggle>

Huggs,

Joann

[Guest Faith gibson]

Vicky

This is an incredible post. I just love it. You are so awesome. I hope I can bounce more stuff off of you. I value your words so much.

Faith