Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

My family doesn't support my "choice" and makes hateful comments


Guest poisonkissed3

Recommended Posts

Guest poisonkissed3

I'm genderfluid/questioning and when I came out my family denied it. Everyday they make hateful comments and bring the bible into it. I tried talking to someone at school, but she didn't help much. I don't know what to do. My family has me half convinced they're right about it being a sin. The thing is, I can't just "act like a lady already".

Link to comment
Guest Kenna Dixon

If they believe it's a choice, I wonder what possible reasons they could offer for anyone choosing it.

In order for this to be a "sin", it would have to be something you're doing - not who you are. It isn't just behavior that you can change or stop to suit another person's definition of what is "acceptable" according to some religion or other standard.

We're all raised thinking our parents are right about everything. As a parent myself, I can assure you that definitely isn't so. Of course you owe them respect, but that doesn't mean you have to deny your own gender identity.

I've never understood the propensity of some to use the Bible as a weapon. And to wield it against your own kids, well...I'll stop right there. It's a hot button for me.

Link to comment

My parents want to get me some where and preach to me but thye don't know that I have done my own Bible study and am prepared to defend myself from the Bible with them. I would suggest that you study for yourself and then when they want to bring the Bible into things you can use the Bible to defend yourself.

Link to comment
  • Admin

Please don't let your parents, or anyone else for that matter, to convince you that being TG, or wanting to be true to your feelings about gender, is a sin, or is wrong, or makes you anything other than an honorable person deserving of dignity and respect.

You're parents don't understand this, and don't wish (for right now, anyway) to understand. Give them information, give them time to get used to the idea, but do not allow them to insult, demean or embarrass you over being TG. No one has that right. I hope that in time their attitude will change. If it does not, there will be decisions for you to make then.

Transition, social and physical, is not something that one does overnight, or over weeks or even months. You should not expect to "act like a lady" just like that. None of us who have transitioned could do that, not a one. It is a process. Give yourself time, and don't listen to those who tell you that you need to act only as they wish. You need to live for yourself, not for someone else.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment
Guest aballofquestions

Im so sorry to hear that PoisonKissed...I wont try to give you any advice but I want you to know that there are people here who can help...theyve already helped me. If you havent already, consider coming by the chatrooms.

I wish you the best, and know that who you are, is not a sin. And it is not a choice any more than being a redhead or having freckles is a choice.

Hang in there,

-Alexis

Link to comment
Guest ashleynikole

Hey Kissed,

Sometimes searching the right keywords or finding exactly what you're looking for on Laura's can be tough. I mean, there's over 500,000 posts on this site.

Everyone else has given you good advice, including my sisters in Christ. I can't offer you everything, but if you want some information as a good place to start focusing your research in understanding why we can't and shouldn't be condemned just for being, check out the FAQ page on my blog. In my 18 months of study, research, some of it from friends and family, I've come across a lot of questions and statements, some that are just uninformed. I needed to clear it up for myself and hopefully it's a place to start for you.

God bless

Ashley

Link to comment
  • 3 months later...
Guest princesstess

I grew up in the 60's and 70's in a small-town Catholic family and my father was always trying to toughened me up and my mother was always laying its a sin trip on me; the old Deuteronimy 22.5 verse about men dressing as women. Well I am not a man despite what I had between my legs when I was born. I also believe it was in the context of idol worship where non-TG folks would cross-dress as part of the ceremony. And even it it was about us. One can't choose which verse one believes in which case lets go out stoning folks for swearing and not wearing clothes made of mixed fabrics. As for the God doesn't make mistakes line, well in that case lets not have medicine at all. Let preemes just die, don't bother with vaccines. etc. So the line I would take is they can't pick and chose which verses / interpretations to take.

As for me, my only option was to drop out of school and run away from home. I remained estranged from them for the remainder of their lives and only have a cursory, cards at Christmas' relationship with my brother. Such is our lot in life.

Hang in there brother and do what you need to do to be true to yourself, even if it means estrangement to your family.

Tess

Link to comment
Guest Gregg Jameson

Hi Poisonkissed,

Many great and strong responses by members (above) for you!

It's key to find all of the support you can and spend your time in supportive company, as much as possible.

I don't mean withdraw from life and only live at a supportive online site. I do mean, find support online and IRL, offline, etc.

Do you have a nearby GLBTQ center where you may find some additional support and some socialization in a supportive environment? Any other options, as in a similar supportive type of program at school or in your community?

Have you had the opportunity to see a supportive counselor (at school) or a gender therapist?

Please don't allow others to shame you in any way. Taking on shame from others is very toxic and can be, ultimately, very dangerous to your own well-being.

Let's keep looking for supportive options for you!

Take care!

Gregg

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 65 Guests (See full list)

    • Evelyn J
    • Susan R
    • awkward-yet-sweet
    • VickySGV
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,942
    • Most Online
      8,356

    taxicab
    Newest Member
    taxicab
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Amyjay
      Amyjay
      (58 years old)
    2. bettyjean
      bettyjean
    3. Breanna
      Breanna
      (52 years old)
    4. Emily Ayla
      Emily Ayla
    5. JET182
      JET182
  • Posts

    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Colorado isn't exactly a Republican place, and won't become one anytime soon.  I think those folks might be better off not spending their time playing Don Quixote.    We certainly have our share of California "refugees" moving into where I live, so I wouldn't be surprised to start seeing Coloradans too.  I suspect the trend over the next few years will see the blue areas getting more blue and the red areas getting more red as anybody who can relocate tries to find a place where they fit better.   
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Well, at least it'll be a place some folks could choose.  Options are a good thing.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      My family would have gobbled that jar up in a minute or two.  When we do have pickled herring, its usually for Christmas.  I didn't grow up with that particular dish, but I grew up in a Greek family so I like just about any kind of fish if I can get it.  However, ocean fish and freshwater fish taste so different.  We usually have more catfish and tilapia to eat than anything else.    What I can't quite get used to is the tons of cabbage my GF insists on eating.  When you live with a Russian, there is always cabbage soup.  Always.  When I first moved in with her, breakfast was "shchi" for soup and either bread or "kasha" which is a bowl of boiled buckwheat with butter and salt.  Those dishes can be made in any number of ways, some are better than others.  In the winter, it can even be salty and sour like kraut.  Not exactly sauerkraut, but packed in tubs with vinegar and salt so it keeps partially for the winter.  But I drew the line when the cabbage soup included pieces of fried snake one day.  😆
    • Ashley0616
      Good evening to you as well @Mmindy   That is awesome that you have support from her side. My dad has communicated with me once and that was because he was forced to. His new wife wanted to spend time with my kids. He hated me so much he was in the process of taking my rights away as a parent to my two boys. He was talking to a lawyer and I called him out on it. I don't love him at all. I'll respect him because I wouldn't be here without him but I wished I had another father. My uncles don't talk to me and unfriended me on Facebook. Almost all cousins except for two are still Facebook friends but they don't give me any support. My mom said she won't support me with that but she has said that she loves me. I have nieces and nephews that are still Facebook friends but they have yet to talk to me. I have one sister that supports me out of three. The other's disrespect me by deadnaming me. They have never called me their sister. I think for them they think it's still a phase. They don't ask questions about me being trans. I have to bring it up and on the look of their faces they don't look comfortable about it. 
    • Mmindy
      Good evening @Ashley0616,   I just got offline with HP tech support trying to get my printer tool box icon locked to my tool bar. This is one of the most important features of my printer that I like because it keeps track of ink, paper, and scanned documents. I'm diffidently not a computer geek.   I'll catch up with the other bookmarks next week. We leave to go home for the Easter Holiday with our families. Saturday with her side, and Sunday with my side. What's odd about that is I'm out to more of her side and they're reluctantly supportive. My side on the other hand are less supportive, and my sister just under me in age will not acknowledge my being there. She will be constantly moving to keep from dealing with me. I'm dead to her.   Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋  
    • Ashley0616
      I used to follow baseball and the team I would cheer for is Boston Red Sox. My favorite player was Papi. He was an awesome guy and even held a child during the National Anthem. I haven't watched baseball for a long time. It just died off to me. 
    • Ashley0616
      That stinks that nothing transferred, and no bookmarks were saved! 
    • Ashley0616
      I'm doing patches for now but I think soon I'll go to shots because it's hard to alternate when you are doing two xx patches at once. Unless she gives me Estradiol and progesterone
    • Sally Stone
      Go Cleveland Guardians!  I love baseball and I loved playing it when I was younger.  
    • Sally Stone
      My view is we are "dependent" on government, because as a society, we are too lazy to stay actively involved. So, we let politicians do our bidding for us.  I think we'd be in a better place government wise if we policed the actions of our politicians.  We elected them; they work for us.  Sadly, we are allowing them to run amok.  We are where we are because we have chosen to let politicians make all decisions without us.  Remember "by the people, for the people?" That was the intent of our democracy.  Today, however, it is "by the politicians, for the politicians," the people be damned. 
    • Mmindy
      "Play Ball! Batter Up!" is the closing line of the National Anthem as far as I'm concerned. It's the call of the Home Plate Umpire and signals the start of the game. I grew up in the TV and Radio broadcast of the St. Louis Cardinals. Harry Caray, Jack Buck, Tim McCarver, and Mike Shannon, were the voices on my transistor radio. KMOX 1120 AM pushing 50,000 watts of Class A clear-channel non-directional signal. It could be picked up all across MO, IL, IN to the East. KS, OK, CO to the West. IA, MN to the North, and KY, TN, AR to the South. There has always been a rivalry against the Chicago Cubs, in the National League. As for the American League, I have to pull for the Kansas City Royals. I've also been a Little League Umpire, and fan of everything the Little League stands for. Going to Williamsport, PA and seeing the Little League World Series is in my top 10 things to do on my bucket list.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Mmindy
      Good evening everyone,   I don't think my mother ever cooked a meal that I didn't like. We also had a kitchen where mom fixed the food, dad filled your plate, and you eat it. It wasn't until our baby brother was born that we could have Pop-Tarts for snacks. Before that all snacks had to meet mom's approval, and in her opinion wouldn't prevent you from eating supper.   Well my day started off on a good note, but has become frustrating because my IT person didn't transfer my saved videos I use for teaching. Then I found out that they didn't save any of my book marks for websites I use frequently.   Best wishes, stay motivated,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • MaeBe
      The number is relative to method of deliver, the time of the dose, and when the blood is drawn. However, I do want to keep away from DVT and other potential issues. I assume I may be getting backed down from my current dose, but my doc told me to stick with the higher dose, so? I also wonder if this has anything to do the my breast growth and mental changes that have been happening over the past few years, like I have some estrogen sensitivity so a little goes a long way or something? I don't have enough data to postulate, but who knows!   With weekly, subcutaneous, shots you expect to see big swings of serum level estradiol from shot to peak to trough. My doctor is interested in mid-week testing (for E and T levels only), which would be post-peak blood serum levels but they will be higher than trough. Most, if not all, resources I've seen online is to measure at trough (which I might do just to do it next time) along with a SHBG, LH, and other metrics.   This is from transfemscience.org for Estradiol valerate in oil, which is very spiky compared to some other estradiol combinations. It's also for intramuscular, which will have a slower uptake and is usually dosed in higher volume due to the slower absorption rate from muscles. They don't have subcutaneous numbers, which I would expect to see similar spikes but higher levels at similar doses due to the relatively higher absorption rate direct from fat.   Are you doing pills, shots, or patches? And when you do get your levels checked are you getting that done when your levels are lowest or some other time?
    • Willow
      Both of my parents were from the “North Shore” of Boston.  My mother Lynn and my father Swampscot.  They had an early 1900s Scots-Irish New England diet.  My sister and I were born in the 40s in Ohio well away from New England seafood and in an area where food was more German and Polish.  My first experience with liver and onions was during basic training.  They ate salt cod but never forced us to eat it same with oysters.  My dad ate oysters but my mother wouldn’t.  Anyone who ever ate an oyster can figure that one out.  I grew up eating lamb.  My wife won’t touch it. I love brazed ox tail, again no way. And the list goes on.  
    • KathyLauren
      My mother was German, so yes, I think it was a cultural thing.  If I'd known you when we were cleaning out my mother's place, I could have sent you her "threat jar". 
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...