Getting My Groove Back

[Guest Kenna Dixon]

I've found myself getting lazy regarding gender presentation. To a degree, it's because I have a part-time job that requires me to play male. I guess I got tired of switching back and forth.

But looking forward to attending a Halloween party in costume Saturday night has stoked my fire.

I started thinking of the volunteer jobs I had about five years ago and how much those experiences validated my feminine identity. We live in a different area now, and I doubted that I could find a situation as nice as the one I enjoyed for a couple of years before moving away. I started looking anyway.

Well, lightning struck again. I was just invited by a local hospice organization to help with office work, and they have a very liberal gender expression policy. The volunteer coordinator is active in the local PFLAG chapter. All she wants to know is what name I wish to be called. I'll be attending an orientation Saturday morning.

Another thing I've missed is having a local hair stylist who understands my needs and is enthusiastic about working with me. I made that connection this week as well, and I have an appointment early Friday morning.

[Guest Faith gibson]

Congrats on the volunteer position. It sounds like it will be a wonderful experience.

[Charlize]

I'm sure you will enjoy yourself. I remember Halloween being a very important holiday but it was only shortly before going full time that i was really able to fully enjoy the opportunity.

As far as keeping up with being feminine, traveling has made that a bit difficult as well.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest esoterickayos]

My partner and I are just starting this transition journey. He has decided to be clear to himself and everyone else about who he is. But this figuring out in his head has put a huge wall between us. I love him and I'm not going to go anywhere, but I am worried this distance may hurt US. Has anyone else had this issue with a partner? Is there anything specific I can do as a SO to let him know I love him unconditionally and that I support him and want to still be close to him? Any advice would be helpful.

[JJ]

Though I didn't transition with a partner I did transition with family-my only child who is 38 and I share a home and have co-parented her child for over 14 years since she was born. I noticed something in the process and have seen it here time and again. I was a social worker by profession and it makes me very analytical of behavior-even my own. As I transitioned I became extremely self-involved-self centered to an extent I had never been before. My family always came first-I had raised my child as a single parent and then raising her child became my priority but suddenly I was putting me first in a way. And I couldn't seem to help it. It caused a definite distance between me and others in my life which really bothered me. Eventually it worked through and we are now closer than ever.

I've though about it and analyzed it a lot and I think that because we have to tear down our old identity and build a new one as well as re-socializing to a great extent. It has to happen to transition successfully but it is also a huge task psychologically and takes all we have. But eventually it passes and we are actually even closer to those we love because we are much healthier and more at peace with ourselves than ever before. And grateful to those who were there for us when we could not be as much for them. Who loved us and cared about us enough to ride ti through.

In other words it's a phase we have to go through to rebuild our lives but one that passes and leaves us better for it. And our relationships ultimately closer and stronger very often.

Having someone there can make a very difficult time so much better. It will pass and it will be better

Johnny

[gennee]

I had to build up a new relationship with my spouse and son. I believe that they saw that I was the same person. I didn't physically transition but most certainly did emotionally and spiritually. On Christmas Day My son and his GF gave me some gowns and a ladies sweater as gifts. I also was given a pink cap. I was surprised by this-and very happy, too.