Coming Out To Sales Assistants

[Guest Roberta-Belinda]

Ever since I started buying my own clothes as a twenty one year old I have always had a hankering to come out and tell the assistants that the girly items that I take to the counter were for me. I have never had the courage to do so but really would love to next time I go girly shopping. I have read many posts by folk on crossdressing sites in recent times where people have had the courage to come clean to the S.A's that the items are for them. The majority of reactions have been positive. It does seem that more and more sales assistants are more accepting of crosddressers than hitherto. If I could get over this hurdle I can only imagine how wonderful it would be.

I think such an expedition would have to be in my nearest city which is over twenty miles away. If I did it nearer home there might be the chance that I may see someone I know.

Although I have never come out to S.A.'s, I have been recognised as a returning customer in several shops. About eight years ago when I was still working I went through the a period of shopping for female clothes almost weekly. My favourite store was Dorothy Perkins, I am quite sure that the girl behind the counter had guessed that the purchases for me. She did give me some funny looks but at least she was helpful. My third trip there was a bit embarrassing as I was greeted by a young male assistant. I get very embarrassed on the odd occasions when I see male staff in Women's clothes shop and I brushed passed him and said very little. I felt much more at home with the Women assistants.

There have been times when I have hinted to S.A.'s that items were for me which have not worked out well. I remember buying a cute pair of black tights in the sadly missed Sock Shop hosiery chain store. Trying to engage in a girly chat with the S.A. I said that the tights look nice but she just said pardon and looked at me as if I was a pervert.

Will definitely try to come out to S.A'S watch this space girls.

[Carolyn Marie]

It sounds like a plan, Belinda. I wish you luck, as well as fun. I do recall vividly getting my first set of makeup items. I told the (male) clerk that they were a gift for a friend, but the way he smiled told me that he guessed otherwise. He was super nice about it, just the same.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Amber L.]

Hi Belinda. I have gone shopping a lot over the years and some s.a. Just seem to know especially when you ask if you can use the women's dressing room. There is nothing better than sharing shopping time with all the ladies. I was checking out one time at a Wal Mart and had picked out two pairs of panties with matching bras and the lady that was checking me out just came and asked me if they were for me and I did not hesitate to tell her yes they were for me. She told me they very pretty and she love the colors I had picked out. That was so much fun. I'd say go for what makes you feel good and happy. I always say confidence is are best friend. Hugs. Amber L.

[Charlize]

I remember all kinds of explanations i used when i purchased outfits at different stores when i was questioned. I can't remember ever being honest about the clothes being for me. The dress barn is supposed to be very accepting. Some support groups go there after hours to shop. That admission would certainly have made my shopping experiences better. Knowing that the sales assistants want to make sales helps. Most of them will be happy to help.

Hugs,

Charlize

[tracy_j]

I have used the 20 miles away experience but mainly for going out fully dressed. My purchases of clothing have been made far closer to home although a little here and there as my work covers a large area so I am often in other towns at lunchtime . It could be bad as people may recognise me over 50 miles away from home! The time that got me though was when we were on holiday and my partner saw me with a pair of skinny jeans in the queue at Dorothy Perkins. Although she was aware of my dressing, (in fact I may have been in those type of jeans at the time) it is yet another thing to see things face to face! Well that was now completely in the open! All to the good in the end.

I have found that shop assistants tend to readily recognise when I am buying for myself. I have found it easier if I am dressed very feminine as fewer people take any notice and the assistant is then more confident in him(her)self. It also helps if, when I am clothes shopping, I am dressed more the part and really visualise myself as a woman, not seeing myself any differently to any other customer (I can even see the woman in me in the shop mirrors sometimes but it can be a stretch of the imagination). That said I was momentarily surprised recently when buying leggings recently and on asking about sizing the assistant instantly asked me what my size was. Although there was no reference to gender I was obviously male (although with makeup) but there was good understanding between us. I did wonder if it is common in males to buy leggings. These days I don't worry, just smile sweetly, think girl and continue!

With my very feminine dress, now often definite woman (although not yet girly girl) even local, I am often surprised about how accepting and open assistants are in all types of shops. I do sometimes discuss makeup etc with checkout girls at the supermarket. Teenage / early twenties girls are good for comparing notes even if they have less experience as it is still a newish idea to them and they more readily compare notes with others. The only issues I sometimes have (not an issue at all) is when served by a very junior assistant. They are sometimes a little embarrased I think, but just be confident and reassure them. It will help them and us!

Yes Belinda, although I do not know quite how you look, in my experience looking more feminine really makes things easier as the assistants make their assumptions and it saves tricky dialogue. I don't think you would get the pervert look either (I think I sometimes have had it when in work clothes with shirt / tie but not otherwise). It just takes practice. Expect a few boo boo's. Teenage girls go through that (it's good to be a teenager again ). I do get a few funny looks and amused smiles from women. I just smile back. Funnily it makes me happy (women notice more than men). Startoff away from home and see how it goes. Experiment. Experience is all!

Tracy x

[Guest Stevie]

I surprised myself with my courage shopping the first time. I guess I just figured the sales assistant would assume I was shopping for my wife. A very nice sales lady was helping me; toward the end of my shopping she was smiling up a storm I then realized she knew exactly who the items were for. She was very sweet.

[Guest Shawna]

Like many of us I used to shop for my " wife's bras & panties" and felt embarrassed when I thought the sales assistant knew it was for me.

Several months ago I was returning bras to a lingerie shop, that I had bought " for my wife" when the manager asked me if the band was little bit small or a lot small. I said they were very very small. She quietly said we do fit men. What a wonderful remark. I laughed and replied " you would fit me". I agreed and that day I was fitted and bought 4 bras and panties for me.

Since then I have visited many different shops and always told the SA that Im shopping for myself. No one has been anything but helpful.

The younger sales assistants are super and only one older woman was a little uncomfortable but she tried to help. I was polite and just asked for help from a younger girl.

Have confidence. It goes a long way.

[Guest Elyssia]

I have never been that confident to come out to many sales assistants, although i was in a lingerie shop looking for something and i had been in there for quite a while without finding what i wanted. The assistant came over and was showing me things and was asking does my wife like this or that, bravely i said that I was buying for myself, she was really nice about and said we have a few cd who come in and shop for themselves. She asked me if I'm sure about my size and offered to measure me, which I accepted.

I tried a few things on and ended up buying a bra and panties, a good day shopping.

I haven't been that brave for a while but small steps

[Guest Wendae]

It's really a non-event. I remember the anxiety the first time and was relieved when the s/a was friendly and helpful. It's never been a problem.

[robinmaybe]

I recommend telling sales assistants that you lost a bet and have to buy women's clothes. I find it's a nice step towards coming out to a sales associate. I've done it a couple of times with cashiers and have never had a negative experience. I find they are particularly friendly if you tell them that you lost a bet to a girlfriend or sister. I think it's because even women who like dressing up resent the fact that men aren't expected to do the same for them (and with all the time and money it takes women to look good who can blame them/ us) and enjoy seeing a male forced to return the favour. If you find one assistant to be particularly non judgemental you can always come out to them later. Best of luck.

Robin.

[Robin Silk]

one of my first shopping experiences i was with a GG friend buying a couple of corsets at fredericks of hollywood, we picked out a few styles and headed to the dressing room. it was such a surprising wonderful feeling when my friend cinched up the back, it took my breath away! back to the story...as i was standing there in panties and corset the SA walks right in and says hows it going in here? i said oh just fine she said let me know if you have any questions, i was in shock but had enough courage to go up and pay for 2 corsets and get out of there. i said to my friend why didnt you lock the door!! she said the lock was broken could that be why the SA gave us that dressing room? still brings a smile to my face. now i shop for my clothes all the time by myself with good results and feel most comfortable at thrift stores where i can try on lots of clothes without having to check in.