Forever In My heart

[Guest JillyDeex_53_mtf]

I read this on the day we spread the ashes of my beloved aunt and uncle who were like a mother and father to me and This was the day Jilly finally came out and let her family know who she really was (a year in the making). I just wish I could have told them how I felt while they were still alive, but I know they heard every word I said:

Forever In My Heart

I have to write something down, before I forget it.

I should have done this a long time ago,

To open up my heart to the ones I love,

Only now do I get it.

I never truly understood

Until now that you are gone

How much I've always loved you

(And) how you'll always be in my heart!

What am I supposed to post?

Without your love I am so lost!

I feel the pain and the urge to cry

Because I do not have you by my side.

I won't let the bitterness take over

This wonderful gift you gave me, over and over.

Of showing me how to love again

and to live life, with no guilt, shame or regrets.

I spent nothing more than all of my time,

correcting my mistakes in this wretched life.

Why couldn't I tell you how I felt,

Before it was too late , and you left?

I just wish I had more time to return the love

That you have freely given away, with all your heart.

what have I done lately

To deserve this wonderful gift of love

That you gave me?

I think about tomorrow and yesterday,

For tomorrow is always a day too far

and the past you cannot take away.

I must not waste what you have given so dearly.

Don't be so angry that you must say something in vain

Cause it will come back to you with vengeance and pain

for it hurts my soul to know

That I have caused harm and sorrow

Forgiveness is always in the soul

why do we punish ourselves

Each and every day

and then preach to give up something

tat we've never really had

To give away?

o one can take away the love you possess

If you've always had it in your heart to express

and if you really care, show it with your heart

I don't say it just for one, but I say it for everyone

fill your heart with love

I never had a really good cry until now

I never realized just how much I've missed you

There will never be enough time in my life

to think about the ways I could have said I love you,

And now it's too late

My dearest Neino, you are forever in my heart

I have been taught by you to be kind and merciful

Full of love for my brother, sisters and you

Ten why do I find it to be so painfully hard

to forgive the people I love, in my heart?

Why is it so hard to show your love

to the ones that care for you, all and above?

if we can learn to forgive each other

We shall have peace in our hearts, forever

Once we find the love we have for each other

No one can take that away from us, not ever!

Search your soul, for it's in there

and you will soon see, it's everywhere!

as each day passes by I see more clearly

The tome that has sipped away, so nearly

And all that I could have done

to treat you, my Neino, more dearly

why couldn't I tell you how I feel

all of these years, until it was too late?

Who I am inside, how much I wanted to be real

then having to lose you after all of these years?

How can I feel such deep sorrow and feel such pain?

Yet still have hope that in due time and with due grace

I can release this pantomime and unlock these chains

An I can love again and learn to fully embrace

Thank you for all you have given to me

I am so sad that you had to go

But I know that you are in a place

where everyone has forgiven, for all

As I have my Mother, I love you so!

You are in my heart

Where there is nothing for you but love

And I am opening my heart

To my brothers and sisters and you, whom I love

Just as you have taught me.

Jilly Dee, 04/09/2014

[Charlize]

Thank you for sharing that Jilly. It has been a few years since i lost my parents. I have spent time standing at their graves with many of the thoughts expressed in your poem. Thank you.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest Faith gibson]

Hi Jilly,

It's very sweet and I'm sure they would have appreciated the love you gave them and how they were respected. I have lost a few family members in the last couple of years, it is very difficult. I don't know how you could have stood there for the length of time it took to read this to everyone. I tried to speak at the services for my sister and got so choked I had to sit down before I could say what I wanted. My mom is not doing well right now and I am dreading what is to come.

Faith