i gained weight as a result of forced medicine intake...
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By Abigail Genevieve · Posted
Thanks. What I do as a man is what a woman would do if she were a man. There is just something feminine about the way I act as a man. It's not that being a woman is actually better, or something to aspire to, but it is just that I am one, while not being one. If beating my head bloody to get rid off this stupid dysphoria would fix it I would find the nearest wall, but I know that if I did that, when I woke up, it would still be there. If I did not have this struggle I would be someone else and I would be less of a person than I am. They say an oak tree growing in an open field is far stronger than one in a forest. The storms come and go and I stand. This forum is the first time I have interacted with other people struggling with the same struggle and parallel struggles. It helps. -
By Ashley0616 · Posted
I'm sorry! :( Hopefully something better will come up -
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By Sally Stone · Posted
That's me too, Mae. I don't think it's me as much as it is the camera (that's my story anyway). Cameras hate me. I never met one that liked me. I often wish I was photogenic; sadly, not so much. However, you look terrific in that selfie! -
By Sally Stone · Posted
April, I'm so glad things went well when you came out to your spouse. So often, things can go sideways. It's a hurdle we all have to jump at some point. -
By violet r · Posted
I totally understand what you just said. I can relate to this very well. I have a lot.of similar feelings. -
By KymmieL · Posted
Well it is a no go for the new position. OH, well. nothing ventured nothing gained. Kymmie -
By Davie · Posted
Dickey Betts, the singer, songwriter, and guitarist of the Allman Brothers Band whose piercing solos, beloved songs and hell-raising spirit defined the band and Southern rock in general, died Thursday morning 04/18/2024 at the age of 80. Rest in peace... -
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By April Marie · Posted
What an amazing life you've shared with your wife. I can understand the trepidation you had at telling her at that point in your relationship but it certainly saved all of the guilt, the questioning and the secrecy that would have filled your lives had you not. I'm on the other end of the spectrum having denied and buried my truth for decades and fast approaching 50 years of marriage when the dysphoria and depression finally came to critical mass and I unloaded it all on a New Year's Day morning. As you might imagine, it led to a lot of questions, of questioning everything, of anger and hurt on my wife's part. Guilt, embarrassment, fear...and anything else you can imagine on my part. Thankfully, our love for each other has always been the foundation of our relationship and, ultimately, we both agreed that staying together was what we both wanted. It was a tough year but, now into the 2d since my coming out, we've hit our stride and are exploring this new norm in our life. I do so love your blog. -
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By Abigail Genevieve · Posted
I thought I would try my version of this. Changes in bold. I am Transgender. Sometimes it is remote, sometimes close. Sometimes I am euphoric, sometimes depressed. It is something I cannot get away from and cannot welcome enough. I see some things both ways that neither men as men see or women as women see. I can be gentle and compassionate and hard as nails. I was born with male genitals but a female heart I have my heart. Whatever it is. When I look at a female, I wish I looked like her Depends on the woman. When I look at a male, I wish I did not look like him Ditto. I envy female movements, softness, behaviors, appearances, fashion...EVERYTHING Female Depends. Sometimes I get angry at them because women spend time and energy in ways men don't. It is not necessarily bad. I could do without the gossip. Not all women gossip. Excessive focus on fashion is something I find annoying. And expensive. I tolerate all things male out of social obligation...not because I feel like a man or because it makes me happy....but because that's what I was forced to believe was my only choice....beginning in early childhood. Sometimes it is helpful to put on the Iron Man suit and act accordingly. But I have seen some tough women. When I look at myself in the mirror in only bra and panties...I can see my nude female body...and it makes me smile and feel amazing and warm inside....yet sad because that is not my reality. I could go either way, mostly. Really. In tests in the last two years technicians have gone really quiet when they see how little body and leg hair I have. I looked at myself this morning. Remove a few clues and a girl is standing there. When I look at myself in the mirror in only boxers...I can see my nude male body and it saddens me deeply and makes me feel sick and depressed...and at times...even ashamed....Because this IS my reality. At this point I am not going to do that. In the mood I am in I might break the mirror. My true gender does not influence my sexual interests or preferences...or change who I am....in any form or fashion. Gender identity is in no way connected to anything sexually related on any level. Not sure I want to make that statement so categorically. Life as a male leaves me with a feeling that something is off...that something is missing...that something is not as it should have been. Well put. The idea of having to continue living as a male...as someone I am not...for the rest of my life...even if its only part time...causes great sadness and anxiety within myself. I've got priorities beyond this that this must fit into. The idea of living as the girl I am and always have been on a full time basis...regardless of where I am, what I am doing or who I am around...brings me great joy, happiness and a sense of peace within myself. Would be neat. Looking like and living as a girl makes me smile. Would be neat. There are downsides. Looking like and living as a guy makes me sad. I have had lots of practice accepting this. I am Transgender....I am a girl -
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