How best to handle bathroom issue

[Guest G_Unit]

Hey ladies,

I will be starting work next week Thursday and my boss just emailed me asking how will I handle the bathroom situation so they can make proper accomedations. I will be about 2 weeks into hrt and i knew this would come up because i brought up my transition in the interview which everyone seems ok with it. So, how could i best handle this so people don't feel awkward?

[Carolyn Marie]

There is no "one size fits all" answer to that question. It depends on the physical layout of the workplace; i.e. what is already there. Do they have one large multi-user restroom, or single user restrooms? If the latter, the issue becomes a lot easier.

If the former, then it depends on several factors: Will your co-workers all know that you're trans? Do you want them all to know? Has there been any announcements made by management? Will there be any training provided? Does your state or city offer any legal protections? What kind of environment is it; factory, office, small or large?

One thing for sure, is that you need management's strong support. If you don't have that, than whatever your preference will be harder to implement, if not impossible. How hard are you willing to push?

Carolyn Marie

[Guest G_Unit]

My whole workplace already knows. I brought it up in the initial interview and was told should not be a problem. It's a decently sized workplace with i'm guessing multi-user bathrooms. I did my interview with my 3 bosses and they all said it shouldn't be an issue. So i'm guessing by now everyone knows that I'm Trans. it's a State Job so i'm pretty sure that HR has things in place for Trans people. It was my boss that emailed me so i have his support and the support of all my other people that were at the interview. So that basis is covered. It was my boss that came to me asking how do i plan to handle it. Willingness to push the issue, I'll push till i get enough resistance to not want to push back any harder or until common ground can be made. I'll be dressing as feminine as possible at work even with only being on HRT 2wks when i start working.

[Carolyn Marie]

Thank you for the additional information. Given all that, I think its important that the staff get some training, sort of TG 101. There is a lot of misconceptions out there about us, and far too much fear mongering in the media. Training should help with that. The training should include state or local laws, company policy, and a strong statement from management that they support your rights. It can also include information on terminology, the differences between sexual orientation and gender identity, what is involved in transition, and other relevant facts.

I know this is difficult for many, but if you think you can participate in the training, by talking a little about yourself and your desires, I think it would be beneficial. I did that, and it really helped personalize everything. But I had the advantage of having worked there for many years, and knew most of the staff.

If you believe its important to be able to use the women's restroom, then you should seek that. Be accommodating to others when possible, but don't be afraid to assert your rights.

I have a Powerpoint presentation I can send you, if it will help. Just PM me your e-mail address.

Carolyn Marie

[VickySGV]

HRT is not going to be the deciding, or even really significant factor there. Having work appropriate dress as your preferred gender, and simply being courteous will help. "I will give you respect and expect that you will respect me" as an attitude, is worth double your HRT effect. I was a supervisor / administrator with the State Of California where our Trans* employees were some of the first under non-discrimination orders from the Governor's office. It is possible that your co-workers have already received "mandatory" sexual and gender harassment training as part of their yearly development training. If you are on an assigned break time or lunch time schedule, get your supervisor to juggle your time a bit at first so that you can use the restrooms during "low flow" times so you are not in a crowd headed to them. That makes your training and contact times lighter. Ask your supervisor to help you mediate problems if any come up and to be willing to hold an open door policy on his/her time for dealing with the transition issue. Be willing to keep out of other people's space unless it is purely job related. Last item is that you are there to WORK and to fulfill their job needs, and while your gender status is important, it is far less important than being a productive and effective team member of your work unit.

[Guest G_Unit]

thanks for that Vicky, that actually helped a lot. I, myself, have a if you give me respect you'll get respect type policy and have always given it even if i didn't get it. I do plan to dress as feminine as possible, as i normally do in my daily life. So that shouldn't be a problem. When i get to work next week I think I have to sit down with my boss and talk over a few things so asking if there can be an open door policy for issues that come up will be a question I ask. I don't know about assigned breaks but I think lunch is usual lunch time, I'll have to ask. But as for the restroom issue, I think I have my answer.

[Guest G_Unit]

I just saw my Job Councelor and she found this http://www.lambdalegal.org/know-your-rights/transgender/restroom-faq it also helped.

[Guest Melissa~]

At my workplace there was a simple ruling handed down, no use of the women's restroom until post op... Then they promptly relabeled all the bathrooms unisex anyhow. Is that the management making their rule and living with it too?

[Guest LizMarie]

In my case, management said I would have full use of the restrooms once I was legally full time. And they've honored that. If there have been any problems, I've not heard of them. My HR rep also made it clear that if anyone has a problem with me, they are the ones that can find another restroom.

[Guest Carla_Davis]

Hi G.

Congratulations on your new job.

This, by Vicky, I feel this your best answer "Having work appropriate dress as your preferred gender, and simply being courteous will help"

Nobody needs to know that you are only 2 weeks into HRT.

Your "Confidence", will also play a large part in not being questioned.

Unfortunately, I am no longer employed, But I am still Pre-Op, and have not changed my voice.

I have used female restrooms, and female fitting rooms exclusively without any problems.

When outside of work, You may want to get a "Carry Letter", from your Mental Health Provider, stating that you are being treated for Gender Dysphoria, and part of your care involves that you be dressed as your Dominant Gender.

it could also be helpful, if you have not legally changed your name to a female name and/or female gender on your ID Documents.

This can save a lot of grief, if you are in a Public facility, and some one should call Law Enforcement.

I had a Carry Letter, and Thankfully, I never had to use it,but it was comforting to know that I had it

Please keep us updated

I wish you Continued Success and Happiness in your Journey.

Hugs,

Carla

[Guest Kayla Grace]

There is literally no women that I've seen working in my warehouse. The only women that I've seen are truckers. There are only two that I've seen consistantly and they work together always, and I've never asked if they use our bathrooms. There's both a male and female bathroom at work, but only the male's is accessable; the female bathroom is under lock and key as it holds the shackels and hooks used to strap things in place on the 18 wheelers. Using the male bathroom isn't a problem for me seeing as I've adapted sitting, and there's stalls in the male bathrooms the same as a female's.

Maybe I'm just lenient, but as long as I'm not being assulted, harassed, or peeped on inside the males bathroom should there happen to be boys in it, I see no reason to push a ladies' bathroom.

God Bless, and stay safe,

Natalya <3