Sorry For Not Posting In A Forever. Am I Getting There?

[Guest AniStacy]

Hey peeps! Sorry I haven't posted in a while. Been really busy...

I need some encouragement... My mom is struggling hectically with my transition stuff. She keeps saying people see me as a guy dressed up.

So... I've just decided to post a picture here to see what you think of me now... no hormones or anything...

I will admit that sometimes I can look like a guy... but overall i don' think i look so bad

What do you think? Am I getting there?

the white girl is me

[Petra Jane]

I didn't see the clue at first, and the only guy I can see is the one on the right of the pcture as I look at it.

Having now seen the clue, the only guy I can see is the one on the right!

[Sally]

Well, Sweetie,

I just see three girls and a guy - he's on the right.

Your mother is seeing you as she always has and to her you will always be a boy so you 'look' like a boy dressed as a girl to her.

Mine still sees me as an 8 year old boy and I'm 57 and trying to convince her that I am grown up is hard enough, she is in serious denial about my being transsexual.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Courtney Hamilton]

You look fine hun, it took me a bit to figure it out. Are you seeing a therapist? If not ask your mom to go to one and have her come with you, then try and get her to go alone. We just had a panel discussion last night at a trans meeting with 3 therapists and your mom maybe going though mourning, and trying to hold on to the idea she has of you. It takes time and understanding from us too not just from the people we tell. I mean it's a hard pill for someone to swallow and even more so for your family members, and it's not that she doesn't accept you just misses who she thought you were. So it takes understanding and patients on our behave too. When you tell people you have to be there for them as much as you want them there for you. I'm a parent and I have preconceived Ideas of how my child. And I would still miss my little boy and worry about him taking such a rough road. I mean it's just being a parent.

[Guest AniStacy]

Ok thats cool thanks, but now. My mom swears on her life that people give me weird looks in public...

thoughts and responses?

P.S. Sorry, my vibrancy is gone, emo vibes //.-

[Guest AniStacy]

My mom and i did take a therapy together, along with my dad. They both think I'm in denial about how ppl see me in public

I see a therapist once a week for the process. I'm getting my beard lasered sometime soon

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

if you're the one on the far right, you're doing it wrong.

You look fine to me. I think your mom just wants to still see the boy in you and still hold on to that.

[Sally]

Ok thats cool thanks, but now. My mom swears on her life that people give me weird looks in public...

thoughts and responses?

P.S. Sorry, my vibrancy is gone, emo vibes //.-

They are probably giving strange looks to her, trying to figure out why a mom with such a beautiful daughter is walking along with that look of impending doom on her face.

Attitude is so important and hers is litteraly attracting strange looks, but they are aimed at her.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Evan_J]

I gotta admit, it took me a bit of figuring too and I still wasn't sure who was you till your "clue". Your mother is just seeing you like she -being a MOTHER is trapped into- that is you as some toddler basically runnin around her. I go out in public and basically have to "stay away" from mine cuz she constantly screws up the pronouns not realizing how horrible it is not only for me but other people cuz they don't see what she does. They see what's REALLY there. And its just too mortifying to not only be disrespected but have to figure out what to do with all these confused people looking at me as if to ask me "who is she talking about? is she seeing someone here no one else does?" She's in heavy denial and other people actually seeing you as female is something she doesn't even want to be able to do. More of that "I lost my little boy " b.s. I can prove it by exactly what happened in my life today. My mother had gone on and on for weeks about coming by her church and saying "hello" to Mrs. whoever, and Sister so-and-so because "they asked about you" , "they pray for you" . I didnt want to because a ) I know the real relationship is between the two of them and b ) I think it will be undermining to my transition to keep people thinking of me as a previous gender by detracting from the change by having them ogling you at phases. In any case, I showed up. 4 people my age I.D.'d me but Mrs. so-and-so and Sister blah-blah (everyone older) had no bloody idea who I was, looked at me wierd for trying to speak to them like they should, I was wise enough to avoid any gender-specific terms and just said so and so's kid , they concluded she'd hed a son they somehow didn't know about , a,d told me "well, nice to meet you" even though I saw em most of mt existence . And my mother's reaction was that she was peed. The point I was making though and wanted her to have shown was that "what she sees" is just that, something she alone is seeing. That's not "what is" and its not what the rest of the world is knowing me as and not what they interact with; short story: get with the program or be let out of my world.

And as for the "wierd" looks ? Yup I got those too. If you are getting em welcome em, She wants you to feel bad cuz "you don't look completely female." But the truth of the looks is they also in your case mean you don' t look completely male either and to be prehrt thats an acomplishment.

[Guest AniStacy]

Thanks I'm quite sure many pre-hrt girls don't look female all the time...

Somehow I think most of the Looks are in my moms mind... but maybe thats just me.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Thanks I'm quite sure many pre-hrt girls don't look female all the time...

Somehow I think most of the Looks are in my moms mind... but maybe thats just me.

Your mom is in denial - you look fabulous! Listen to YOU not anyone else - and it irritates the peawaddly outta me when your own loved ones refuse to support you! YOU not only pass, but you ARE a girl as far as I can tell. Darn it!

Lizzy

[Guest AniStacy]

I think they trying thier best... they'll get there.

They adjusting how they adress me, so I'm hoping they'll get used to it and get it right

But right now... what they think about my appearance is very upsetting.

Because i do care what they think unfortunately

[Guest Courtney Hamilton]

. I'm a parent and I have preconceived Ideas of how my child. And I would still miss my little boy and worry about him taking such a rough road. I mean it's just being a parent.

Let me clarify cause of a reply i got on another post ....First let me say that was an example of how I would see it IF it were to happen to me, it hasn't but I do wonder about one of children. Next I would like to rephrase it should have read, if I would type as fast as I think.

"I'm a parent and I have preconceived ideas of how my child will be. And I would miss the image of my little boy, and worry about him taking such a rough road."

I'll start using the preview post more than I do.

Sorry to have caused confusion.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

I think they trying thier best... they'll get there.

They adjusting how they adress me, so I'm hoping they'll get used to it and get it right

But right now... what they think about my appearance is very upsetting.

Because i do care what they think unfortunately

Yes you care! You are supposed to care - and they in turn are supposed to care for you. It WILL work out, but it is so HARD sometimes.

Well, my therapist says when a transgender person comes out of the closet, their family goes into the closet.

BUT you look great - you mom would think Sheryl Crow is a man too.

Keep us posted on your progress

Lizzy

[Guest Little Sara]

Thanks I'm quite sure many pre-hrt girls don't look female all the time...

Somehow I think most of the Looks are in my moms mind... but maybe thats just me.

I thought the same in my earlier HRT/fulltime days (which I did at the same time). I dismissed it as her being paranoiac, but its true people gave me weird looks.

It had mostly to do with the breasts (or lack thereof) and the skin texture for me, and probably my acne.

My acne went away, I grew somewhat small A cups and my skin texture softened (that's the face that counts) and well, I wasn't receiving any looks afterwards.

Even when I did receive looks (prior to that), people gave me the benefit of the doubt at least, but be careful still.

It took me 6 months of hormones to achieve a very-high passing status (which I define as 99%).

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Dear, AniStacy!!

You sooo PASS!!, I see three girls and a guy. The white chick is awesome!!!!

Way to go GIRL!! You have nothing to worry about!!! You PASS, and without hormones!!! Nice and natural!!!

LOL

bernie

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

it irritates the peawaddly outta me

I'm stealing this word.

p.s. I think your mom and my mom are in the same state of denial.

[Guest AniStacy]

THanks to you all

Confidence is back.

Another question...

Do you look at ur pics and like sometimes just see guy, when perhaps there isn't sooo much?

cuz i do that

[Guest Little Sara]

THanks to you all

Confidence is back.

Another question...

Do you look at ur pics and like sometimes just see guy, when perhaps there isn't sooo much?

cuz i do that

Yeah that's how I call pics I think are unflattering on me. The worst is that I'm usually imagining things.

[Guest Ashlee]

THanks to you all

Confidence is back.

Another question...

Do you look at ur pics and like sometimes just see guy, when perhaps there isn't sooo much?

cuz i do that

And with that confidence, you should see less and less of "him"

As more people, especially your close family, even more especially you mom, come the the realization that you are a girl, and treat you as a girl, your confidence level will continue to grow. If the people around you see and treat you as you really are, you will see more of that girl in your pics.

You look great! And you look like you were having fun too!

{HUGS}

Ashlee

[Guest Jackson]

Now I missed the clue too, AniStacy. I didn't have any idea which of the three ladies you were in the photo.

You look great. I wouldn't worry about it at all.

[Guest AniStacy]

Thanks

<3

Can't wait for my first laser therapy and for my hair to grow.

Laser + Hormones + Hair = Beauty I hope.

I'm striving for that ideal inner beauty I've craved for so long

Mwa mwa to all of you <3

[Guest Elizabeth K]

THanks to you all

Confidence is back.

Another question...

Do you look at ur pics and like sometimes just see guy, when perhaps there isn't sooo much?

cuz i do that

Always - well, sometimes no and I get scared! but yes, we MTF's almost always see the guy for some reason.

Lizzy

[Guest ~Brenda~]

THanks to you all

Confidence is back.

Another question...

Do you look at ur pics and like sometimes just see guy, when perhaps there isn't sooo much?

cuz i do that

All of the time my dear. All of the time!! I have reconciled myself that I will never like any photo of me. Don't worry though, as I said before... WOW! you are smokin' ;-) You are definitely a woman!!

LOL

bernie

[Guest mia 1]

O.K. the one on the left and you look fab. if you are any of the two in the middle I could never ffigure it out..if you are the one on the right....what position do you play in the backfield?

Really I hope and that you know that is a joke! mia