New Here Hi and True Androgyny explained- It's not a trend or lifestyle

[Guest Casey]

Hi I am new but have spent some time reading some things here and I find it silly that people want to try to be more this/that as if gender is a trend/fad. So this my rant, with swear words changed to other words haha....

If you are trying to be androgynous- you're doing it wrong.

I have been androgynous my whole life cos I have been natural/myself my whole life. My whole life when everyone else was "being a boy or girl" (doing what is expected of them based on gender regardless of true feelings) I just did things I enjoyed doing regardless of what society said about things being for boys or girls cos my whole life I realized it's stupid and nothing but a marketing tool idiots fall for. (Well ok I'll admit there are times I have had to fake things to stop people attacking me- those people are jerks.)

Trying to fit an ideal is not what androgyny is.

It is the natural balance between masculine and feminine traits- You can't try to be androgynous, you are androgynous when you STOP trying to be male/female- when you STOP only doing things expected of you cos of your gender and just do what you feel like doing as a person. When you STOP trying to fit in, STOP pretending to be things you are not naturally or like things you really don't in regard to gender roles. That is androgyny, it isn't a damn trend. It is freedom of expression as a person without being bound by societal gender roles.

[MaryEllen]

Hello Casey,

Welcome to Laura's Playground. I agree. You don't have to fit into anyone's category. Just be yourself and do as you see fit. It's your life, after all.

MaryEllen

[Charlize]

Welcome to Laura's. "To your own self be true" is as relevant here as anywhere.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest Casey]

Hi thank you both for the welcome. I agree wholeheartedly to people just being themselves and being free to express their true personalities.

[tracy_j]

Hi Casey

Hello and welcome

There are many people here trying to find and understand themselves. The terminoligy I think trends just complicate things! It would be difficult to find someone not affected at all (I'm not just talking of trends in trans issues here).

Tell me - Is it really trendy to be here?

Tracy

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to the Playground, Casey. I hope that you find things here that interest you, and post any questions or comments as the mood strikes you. You are welcome to post in any of the forums, and don't forget about our Chat Room, too.

We do ask our new members to please read the site Terms and Conditions, as they help us keep the site safe. A link to the rules is located at the lower right of every page.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest]

Welcome to Lauras. You'll find a great deal of useful information and likely make friends because of the diversity here.

As for people 'trying' anything, people must find themselves and it's generally not easy. Many want to understand 'where' they fit in, 'what' they are and 'who' they are. I can't speak for all, but I've repressed/struggled all my life. Only now over the last couple of years have I stopped repressing/fighting and am trying to figure out who/what I am. For many people, it's not a simple answer.

It's awesome that you've been comfortable with yourself most if not all of your life, I commend you. However, most people struggle. The 'brainwashing' that occurs in society is a powerful force to fight. What brainwashing? The brainwashing that one must comfortably fit into the 'box' in which was checked at their time of birth.

it's easier today than it was while I was growing up, but it still isn't easy. One only has to read the headlines to see LGBT kids and adults that still commit suicide or the lawmakers currently changing laws that further oppress LGBT members of society. If it were easy, I would be able to tell my friends and family rather than just my wife and gender therapist.

Remember one important thing, we're all here on this website to help support each other and to learn from each other...

Again, welcome to the Playground

*hugs*

-Fiona

[TeamEffort]

I've read this post about 10 times and I'm still having a hard time with it.

I've never belonged anywhere in my entire life. I know I don't really belong in "transgender" since we're handling it differently than probably 99% of people out there. There's me, and there's him, and we compromise on what the body looks like on any given day. When it's him, he's very much a man stuck with a female body and he hates it. When it's me, I mostly do what makes me comfortable, but there are things I wish I could do that I can't get away with because of my family. Because of him, I find myself picking up on his stuff... desiring certain brands of menswear or a certain haircut or leaning away from perfume and more toward unisex scent oils. I sigh and I linger on pages and then I click away. Sometimes I have a cry in the shower because I know that no matter what I do, I'll make someone unhappy.

I read a post like this, and I realize I still haven't found a place to call home. Not really. I'm too weird for anybody. I guess I've been given permission by some in the Two-Spirit section to use that phrase, but I'm not Native American so I'm still unsure I should. I don't want to offend or get in trouble.

There's a "right" way to be androgynous? I've read this post about 10 times and I'm still unclear on what that is. I don't know how to be something other than to be it, or to try new things and see if they feel right. I'm in a confusing place. It's not just me anymore, it's us, and we do the best we can at any given moment. Am I in the wrong forum? Probably. Par for the course.

[VickySGV]

3 hours ago, TeamEffort said:

There's a "right" way to be androgynous? I've read this post about 10 times and I'm still unclear on what that is.

I cannot really tell myself and I know I have read this before.  I would give it up before you think yourself into a real headache. 

With all I have done in my life so far, all I know is that other people's expectations of me have nothing to do with who I really am, and I have gotten to a point where I  no longer try to meet those expectations or adopt them as my own.  There are places where our basic character needs to be shown, but it need not have any relationship to our personal gender spectrum.  Are you honest in your work?  Are you generous with your time helping others?  Do you encourage others to be better selves no matter what it is?  Do you thoughtfully and intelligently listen to others?  These are character traits that can be performed no matter how we look or present.  In time people will see our inner self, and we will see it as well, and it will be everything good of both male and female and all the rest.  I may lean toward mostly female now, but the few parts of being male that I ever really figured out are here too.  What's a person to do or be??