Transgender and not allowed to transition

[Guest LuckyAce]

I spoke to a doctor sometime in March about being transgender (he's referred me to the mental health services for this and other things) and my parents asked about binders because they said they'd allow me to buy one if they were safe, but my doctor said that it's not recommended and he thinks I should wait because I'm "still developing and it could cause damage" and I don't know what to do.

I'm also not allowed to change my name because my parents think they're protecting me (as mentioned in my previous post) but I think it's stupid. They might be protecting me from others' hate but not my own - which in my opinion - is a lot more dangerous.

My mum always refers to me and my sister as "girls" but there's only one in this house and it's certainly not me, and if I say something such as asking her not to call me that, she rolls her eyes and puts emphasis on male pronouns. It's so rude. If I used male pronouns for her, she'd get frustrated with me, but it's like nobody tries to understand me or my situation. I don't mean to be annoying, I'm just trying to feel comfortable with myself.

I don't know what to do since I'm only a kid. I can't change my name without my parents' permission until next year and I can't wait that long. I already nearly messed everything up last year and I don't want to do that again because I know that I won't fail this time.

Apologies for the long post but I have to keep all of this to myself and then it ends up in some kind of word explosion.

[Charlize]

I'm so glad you spoke to your doctor about your feelings and you are being referred to mental health services. I'm sure it may take some time but it is in motion. We are supposed to have an easy health care system here but everything just takes time. In the meantime try to remember that your just starting this journey that you will be on for a lifetime. It gets better. It really does. I remember being where you are and i felt much the same except back then (there were dinosaurs) my parents would have been furious. It was a time of no understanding. Hiding was the only option. It may not make it easier but i'm glad your not facing that and can at least share some with your parents.

It will take time but you will make the changes you want. Your already moving forward and before long you'll look back and the changes will be huge.

We are here to help as we can. You might also want to sign into chat. it takes a separate registration but there are great mods there who can help as well.

Let us know how it is going. Posting and reading here helped me through some rough times. Maybe it was knowing i wasn't alone.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest LuckyAce]

I'm so glad you spoke to your doctor about your feelings and you are being referred to mental health services. I'm sure it may take some time but it is in motion. We are supposed to have an easy health care system here but everything just takes time. In the meantime try to remember that your just starting this journey that you will be on for a lifetime. It gets better. It really does. I remember being where you are and i felt much the same except back then (there were dinosaurs) my parents would have been furious. It was a time of no understanding. Hiding was the only option. It may not make it easier but i'm glad your not facing that and can at least share some with your parents.

It will take time but you will make the changes you want. Your already moving forward and before long you'll look back and the changes will be huge.

We are here to help as we can. You might also want to sign into chat. it takes a separate registration but there are great mods there who can help as well.

Let us know how it is going. Posting and reading here helped me through some rough times. Maybe it was knowing i wasn't alone.

Hugs,

Charlize

You're completely right and I know it will get easier even though it's tricky at first, more so when I actually get to the point where I won't need the permission of my parents to do things related to transitioning but also because the LGBT+ community is getting so much more recognition and acceptance.

[Guest Andir]

Heei, luckyace

I already answered on one of your topics on the teen forum and I forgot to say welcome so: Welcome to Laura's playground I hope you can get alot of information for your transition later on. I just got a couple things to say so here I go

Its not that they don't want you to do a transition they just need to get used to the idea that you told them about it. Its mostly a great shock for your parents and because your young maybe they think that its a fase. Just try to get therapy for it thats the first step talking to a therapist. Its a long road your on. And I'm not much further as you i just started and i had to cut it of for some important reason that needed to go infront of myself. I always take care of the people around me.

Just give them time to let it get into their minds so they can handle it on a further stadium. Time is the most important thing for your parents. And a name change straight away etc etc it even makes it harder. My parents still won't call me by my girl name even after 2 years. But they let me start therapy. That is one step forward on this road.

If you don't want everything to grow as usual just ask for medice that stop puberity your still young enough for it that your body isnt that developed as mine. Im already 17.

Don't give it up i can see you really really want it and this is a great goal to fight for.

XMikayla