Shopping for "stuff" with poise.

[Guest cerise]

My first tube of lipstick was a tester tube that I pocketed because I too freaked out to take it to the cashier.

The lesson here is misleading. Don't steal is the obvious one but the less obvious one is don't grab the tester and put it in your basket to buy.as you'll be told that you accidentally picked the tester and will have to go back or have a clerk exchange it while you wait with a lineup behind you.

Fortunately I felt comfortable there and the lady's have helped choosing the right shade of foundation for me.

Clothing is sort of the opposite for me. I go to a dept store that is known for nice fashions, great sales and poor service in the sales clerk regards. Their retirn policy is awesome.

That way I can shop in peace. Eventually I got good enough at shopping that o feel comfortable doing so.

The most important thing is to smile at the chevkout and be courteous.

That and keep the tags on the items until you know there right.

I am sure others of have some helpful hints but for me this is where I started to feel I 'could do this'.

Hugs Cerise

[Guest Eva Marie]

For me I found out that clerks are more willing to help cause a sale is a sale either. Now I even go to the dressing room at ease and use the womans. I love to shop just wish I had more money. What I learned is the more you look like you belong then others see it also. Best of luck and happy shopping

[VickySGV]

There is NEVER a wrong shade of lipstick to buy and try!!

[Guest Jamie61]

Hi Cerise!

I have a passion for this subject because I feel that this is something every transwoman needs to be able to do, to be able to function in everyday tasks, without so much extra anxiety. We have enough anxiety already, don't we? I have been very lucky to have randomly picked some very good sales associates to help me get started. Tronda and Andrea help me shop for bras, panties and socks. Doesn't sound like much, but I really needed the help and I can't begin to tell you how different my expection was, with how well that actually went. I am grateful. Andrea advise me, that if your uncomfortable just shopping, to pick a mans shirt, and use that to cover a bra or skirt etc.. Take them both into a dressing room and try on the garment. Now I simply shop, but I like to do so presenting as female and or go to a neighboring city just to feel a little safer amoungst strangers. So far I've never had an issue. I prefer to go at off hours, mid mornings on weekdays and Sunday evenings, when the shops are slow. Once I walked into a legion of clerks doing inventory and moving racks... Yikes!

.

These experiences have made a huge difference and I so want to give back to others, the kindness and support I found so important. I'm not expert, but I could help someone just starting. Someday I want to do just that, especially regarding hair and makeup!

I wish you the best,

Jamie

[Kivana]

I get nervous going to buy deodorant, shaving cream and razors from the mens section in a store of 98% female products. Once looked at a display stand of a new lipstick as I passed because it was sticking out in the aisle, I got the evils from the cashier for an innocent glance.

Self confidence is something I have always lacked and now is something I need more than ever. Luckily we have each other

Kivana

[Guest cerise]

It takes a while to get over the nerves and I have gotten the daggers from cashiers in a few places.

As Jamie said it has a lot to do with confidence and relaxing. One cashier at London Drugs said ...Oh these will look beautiful on you... when I was buying some eyelash extentions and I replied ...I hope so .,.,and smiled at her. She smiled back.

Negatives are rare in my experiance but they do happen. Iin one place wjere there are pushey sales woman they asked .., Can I help you... As if to usher me along and I was looking for a matte blush as opposed to radiant so I enlisted her help and got something that zi wpuld have been useless to find.

The compact is almost dine and I can use that a sample to get another woman to help me find. This is a great method of looking. Its a ploy yes but it works as if you've been sent.

Never be clever or rude.

In the abo e case it gave clerk so

Ething to do and a sale.

[Guest cerise]

For what it's worth, this is a great time of the year to get your stride in this aspect of transition. Meaning Halloween, sounds weird or deceitful but it gives you a reason to be there wherever there is, clothing,makeup, or wigs even.

If it sounds like I've put a lot of thought into this it's because I have.

I'm a little on the prefatory shopper side, looking for good deals so now is more a time to stake out what I want to buy in the seasonal sales.

If your squeamish, ask for a gift receipt and if it can bring it back if it's not right. Its practical and diverts the eye off you. Then you can try it on at home in peace.

Leave the labels on until you are sure it's right.

Very important.

[tracy_j]

I remember once picking a tester and it being flagged up at the till lol. It was early days but it was too late at that point and I bet I was rather red!

Shop assistants are people and as such you will find good, bad or indifferent but I just take things as they come - another experience to be lived. As a woman I am a woman so seldom think otherwise and get more than mildly nervous. With quite a bit of experience behind me I find I sometimes buy cosmetics and things without really thinking when out as male but I think as I treat it in a 'so matter of fact' manner I get few adverse reactions.

Tracy

[bobbisue]

When shopping i carry a shopping list with me if i get any LOOKS i fidget with the list they think you are on errands .the bonus is I dont have to go back for something I forgot an hour drive each way for me

bobbisue

[Guest noeleena]

Hi ,

Shoping. well I never had any issues ,as I shoped in many different clothes shops just I drew the line at male shops unless my Mom dragged me there and that was till age 24, even when my clothes were going to fall off my back , and Mom would say time I went and brought some new clothes , I said im not buying any more as I hated them , did Mom know I hated boys or male clothes Oh ,,,YES...

So Mom would buy them , Later Jos and I got Married and yes Jos took over from Mom so it was on again , ,

Any way I used to buy clothes for Jos and if they were not quite right Jos would say you take them back so every womens shops I knew and the women serving knew me and the mail order ones knew me as well , this was some 35 years ago, , so when it came time for me to buy my own womens clothes they knew who they were for and we talked about the colours and sizing and became just a normal detail part of my life , that was 18 years ago ,

and when I needed they would help in the dressing room and that happened a few days after my major corrective surgerys ,

As I was not able to undress or dress so they helped me then, I had a good repore with them and still do some 10 years after ,

Maybe what I see is and depends on wether being male or female , Being a female I would ask for help when I needed this so I was not bothered at all , the other detail is just being normal in your interacting with others , where its different in my case has been being born female does change how you interact with others , I get on okay with men in my fields of work and the like just I struggle being around men so how I approach men is nothing like being around females ,so I have learnt and I,m some what better now than I was long ago,

When Jos and I went to the mens section to buy a tee top for a male friend , I thought oh heck do we have to will never get it right or will it fit him so Jos was much the same as I, gee don't send me to buy mens clothes boots shoes im good there just not clothes for men .

Just a thought to have the confidence , you must look at it like this, Like you go to any shop that male or female go to you need a TV or your fancy ph, thing,e who cares you pays your money they serve you male or female , so to buy womens clothes as I have whats wrong in that nothing , so just do it and think why put something in front of you that's not there while shopping , just ask the women for help as I have , and they had to see my surgerys as well did they care no,......

...noeleena...

[MarcieMarie12]

Number of time in drab shooping for girl stuff (clothes/make-up/lingerie)--over 20. Number of times I've gotten hassled 0. Really the store is there to make money, keep that in mind when you are shopping.