Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

The Marcie Chronicles


MarcieMarie12

Recommended Posts

I think next time it will be a drop the skirt to the knees to avoid issues. It was a below the knee skirt that was loose fitting and I didn't want to remove the belt holding it. BTW-when does using the ladies room make more sense? When I am dressed, I think I've been passing pretty well, but worry about getting clocked if use the women's room (either because I loose my confidence or have some other tell).

Link to comment
  • Replies 251
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • MarcieMarie12

    117

  • tracy_j

    34

  • Charlize

    24

  • Jani

    20

Top Posters In This Topic

Posted Images

  • Admin

Marcie, the key to not getting hassled in the restroom is simply to act like you belong there, the same as all the other women. If you act nervous, start looking around, or stare at someone standing in line, you have a much greater chance of calling attention to yourself. If you catch someone looking at you, ignore them. Believe me, hon, women in the restroom aren't on the prowl for transwomen to bully. They're there to do their business and leave, just like you.

Be sure to act appropriately. Use a seat cover, try not to loudly pass gas, and don't drop your skirt to the floor. Don't be afraid to converse if you're standing in line. Women sometimes do that. We're part of the women's club!

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment
Guest Jamie61

Hi Marcie,

I've enjoyed reading your posts. I still get a little nervous if there is a line for the restroom. I feel allot of it comes down to things that don't change, hands and feet as well as one that hard to change... voice. I've started just using more of my regular voice, avoiding any deepness and choosing my words and phrases. That seems to have open up my ability to chat more naturally. It's nice to continue to pass after talking with someone! Still though lines for the ladies room are something I try to avoid.

I am also very tired of back and forth, it's getting blurry... This is good motivation to keep moving forward. Sounds like your doing very well and your experiences are exciting to read because it's so reminiscent and how I still feel about being me.

Be safe!

Jamie

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

This subject is obviously hard for many. Confidence and experience works here as in all situations. In time with repeated calls of nature it will become natural. By the way i hike up my skirt and in the winter often wear one that almost touches the ground. It's just a matter of bundling everything up and pulling it around front a bit. I double check to make sure i'm clear and sit.

Speaking of long skirts when squatting in a field is necessary they provide a built in rest room if spread out a bit with an eye to ground slope.

I can only imagine the giggles of my grandchildren about this subject.

Hugs,

Charlize

Link to comment

Well, went out for time number 8 to a local support group of ladies that I've joined. Was actually my first time there as me. The exciting part is most people did not recognize me right away! We went out to eat afterwards, and had a good time. Then on Sunday went out again to meet some other ladies for lunch. I had something important to tell them--basically I am getting divorced, and I am moving out...I've been on a roller coaster ride ever since.

Link to comment
Guest Jamie61

Hey Marcie, Sorry to read about this, but perhaps it is what is best. I went through a divorce a few years ago and it still bothers me. I will be thinking about you and hoping for peace in your life.

Jamie

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Parting is usually sad even when for the best. I hope things go well for you Marcie :)

Link to comment

Yeah, but I am going to have to tell the parents and brothers about their sister....I want to get it over with so I know where they stand. The anxiety over their response is worse than the actual consequences...I am in 40's and financially independent (even after the divorce).

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Obviously I don't know your situation but with me, even though I am probably similarly financially independant, I would feel that there is far more to lose than the money!

That said - I think taking things carefully and making steps to avoid any standoffs will help. My own experiences tell me that people do not readily understand and tend to be very confused and mixed in their reactions. It is perhaps easy to get to a position to know where they stand if you put them against you but with care, acceptance is often realisable. Changes in relationships, or understanding of such though, seems to take time.

My advice is try not to rush and think things through

Tracy

Link to comment

I''ve been thinking about how to handle it for months. I think I am ready, and actually spoke to my GT about it. Had a nice outing yesterday, took the day off from work to get a make-up lesson. It was fun, I learned alot, and well trust me the eye-make up was gourgeous (transition lenses kind of make it hard to see).

http://forum.lauras-playground.com/forums/index.php?app=galleryℑ=12445

Link to comment

Oh and the highlight of the day, other than getting some make-up skills for life was that I was able to interact with people, kept my voice consistent (after the lessson) and got mam'd (more times than I care to count) and called lady by a grandfather when I helped him and his wife get a picture with their two grandkids in front of that same christmas tree in my gallery. Yes I wore my sunday best, I wanted to be fabulous.

I did think I got Sir'd once, but it was an actual guy behind me. :lol:

Link to comment

Well I got out for time number 10 to go to a different support group. I enjoyed meeting some fresh faces, but got lost on my way to the post metting dinner. Had my dress on wrong too (soon to be ex-wife point that out ( I thought the zipper was on the side not the back on the pencil skirt). :poster_oops:

Link to comment

Well I got out for time number 10 to go to a different support group. I enjoyed meeting some fresh faces, but got lost on my way to the post metting dinner. Had my dress on wrong too (soon to be ex-wife point that out ( I thought the zipper was on the side not the back on the pencil skirt). :poster_oops:

Your pictures look great! I've had the skirt boo boos too. Sometimes seams and zippers travel around if I scooch around too much.

It's a wonderful feeling when a sister sees a problem and adjusts things for me that I can't readily see, especially coming out of the ladies room.

Guys would never help each other like that, they take pictures and laugh, humiliating each other. Sisterhood is wonderful!

You have also reminded me to get my pencil skirt out of storage. Hug. JodyAnn

Link to comment
Guest Kayla Grace

I'm a bit late, but the forums haven't been working for me lately and I've been neck high in work.

Transitioning alone definitely has its benefits. It'll be an emotional roller coaster, not to mention the physical changes will be difficult if not overwhelming for the SO

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Well I got out for time number 10 to go to a different support group. I enjoyed meeting some fresh faces, but got lost on my way to the post metting dinner. Had my dress on wrong too (soon to be ex-wife point that out ( I thought the zipper was on the side not the back on the pencil skirt). :poster_oops:

Just for info to all - I think it is universal here so probably over the pond too but it is easy to determine positioning of a skirt / dress etc. The makers label is at the inside top to the back as you are wearing and the laundry / fabric information label is toward the bottom on the inside, to your left hand side as you are wearing. If either of these labels is missing it is still usually straightforward to determine orientation.

I find it very useful for plain skirts as I just look straight down to see the label on the left as I am pulling it on.

Tracy

Link to comment

Well yesterday was the first time out post seperation---outing #11. I left and got out too see the GT. Then went to wall mart. I was having trouble as a pair of panties was supposed to be 1/2 off and didn't ring up prperly. So I did what any lady would do, called the clerk over to get some help! They did not even notice something amiss either with my voice or appearance. Yeah me! But still getting mam's is like a victory.

Link to comment

It's recognition. Of who we are. The woman that we knew we were. And now others are seeing us, in the same way we see ourselves. And you are right, it feels so good.

Link to comment

Outing # 12 came and went (Basically a shopping trip to target). Lots of returned smiles and a couple of interactions--but nothing new to note. I try to keep my head up and shoulders back and a smile on my face (not hard, I am happy getting out as me). This leads me to making eye contact with other women--men oddly enough avoid eye contact for the most part. More than a few smiled back--I'm guessing that is a good sign I am passing. But other than that nothing really new.

Outing #13: Some really supportive friends of 20+ years invited me to their new house. The wife was happy there was another girl in the gaming group. Anyway, we went to dinner and the waitress asked for what we would like to drink and I waited for second then realized, hey I am one of the girls so I can speak up and order first. :) After that, I played a game with the husband (I may still be a girl, but I am still a gamer). I love to paint my miniatures, and name them and imagine them having all sorts of personalities. Guess part of me is still a kid. The husband sir'd me out habit and I corrected him, but I didn't correct every time--just the one time. We both acknowledged it would be an adjustment for everyone-and my thought was that correcting them on occasion would be a better approach, let them know that when they slip I notice, if I did it every time I think it would become awkward for all. They are supportive and trying, and that means a lot to me. They both got hugs in the end. I'm tearing up (in a good way) writing this....

Also, the wife said if I wanted to go shopping with her that she'd love to do that.

Link to comment

Sounds like you are adjusting well.

I saw the part about the old habits others have.

I think you handled it perfectly. I also have some folks that cant quite get the hang of it and that is how i too handle it.

I have one co-worker that took more than 8 months to "form new habits.

Link to comment

My fourteenth outing was great except for the end. Went out shopping, then went to my parents dressed. As I was mam'd so many times I lost count and talked to about a dozen people (no strange looks either). It was awesome. I then went to my parents house and that did not go over well. Too soon to show up dressed I guess. My mom's comments were particularly hurtful. I wonder if the support from them is conditional.

My 15th outing was to a toys for tots event. It was fun to get out and I got to introduce myself as Marcie to lots of new people.

BTW---My face gets oily after about 8 hours and the make-up gets a sheen on it. Forunately stubble isn't the issue. Just that my face feels like a giant oil slick. It looks ok otherwise.I am using an oil mattifier to reduce the oil. Is this typical? How long does your make-up last (assuming no yardwork or heavy lifting)

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

It might have some bearing Marcie but I have realised that the old saying with women that they are going to powder their noses when wanting to discuss things in private has meaning! I have noticed that the first part of my face which starts to get shiny during the day is my nose. I don't usually bother but on occasions do retire to the women's room to powder my nose. There may well be a lot of truth in the saying :D

Tracy

Link to comment

My 16th outing was significant in that I went for a consult with the electroligist, with no make-up (BTW-Laser first then electrolysis). I braved a grocerie store too without make-up. I was more than a bit self concious. I was clean shaven though.

My 17th outing was in the evening--I got to wear my christmas present to myself. No that link is to the dress. I love it and it fits me very well. (http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/1f30/). Too busy talking to others at a pot luck to take pictures. I brought some cornbread muffins. PM me if you want the recipe..they arre really good and easy to make.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   5 Members, 0 Anonymous, 96 Guests (See full list)

    • Betty K
    • Breanne_O
    • EasyE
    • Braxton9312
    • Petra Jane
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,945
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Melissa_J
    Newest Member
    Melissa_J
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Amyjay
      Amyjay
      (58 years old)
    2. bettyjean
      bettyjean
    3. Breanna
      Breanna
      (52 years old)
    4. Emily Ayla
      Emily Ayla
    5. JET182
      JET182
  • Posts

    • Ivy
      I grew up with it, my mother's side were Germans.  I still like cabbage.  I make a sweet/sour dish with vinegar and brown sugar, add some bacon if you have it.  And in warmer weather, slaw.  I like that better if it's a few days old, and has worked off a little.
    • Ivy
      Pity that we can't just respect each other and get along.
    • Willow
      Good Friday Morning    I will be spending a good portion of my day at church today.  I don’t know how any of my family would have been with me.  They all passed before I figured myself out.  I often think my mother and sister may have figured it out before I did but maybe it was just my depression that they saw.  I don’t know and never will.  My grandfather Young unconditionally loved me but he passed when I was 9.   Same with my wife’s parents, both gone before.  We’ve never had the greatest relationship with my wife’s brother but we do see them occasionally.  They words and actions aren’t always in sink when it comes to me.   Sour kraut or boil cabbage were never big even with my parents so that was something we were never expected to eat.  Nor was anything with mustard.  My mother hated mustard and it turns my stomach. My wife tried to sneak it into things early in our marriage but I could always tell.  She stopped after a while.   well I wave to go get ready to go to church.  I have a committee meeting at 10 and then we have a Good Friday Service at noon.   Willow
    • Mmindy
      Good morning everyone,   @KymmieLI hope you're misreading your bosses communications. As you say keep plugging a long. Don't give them signs that you're slow quitting, just to collect unemployment.   I have a few things to do business wise, and will be driving to the St. Louis, MO area for two family gatherings.   Have a great day,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • KymmieL
      Good morning everyone, TGIFF   It seems like I am the one keeping or shop from being the best. According to the boss. I don't know if my days are numbered or not. But anymore I am waiting for the axe to fall. Time will tell.   I keep plugging a long.   Kymmie
    • KymmieL
      In the warmer weather, Mine is hitting the road on the bike. Just me, the bike, and the road. Other is it music or working on one of my many projects.   Kymmie
    • LC
      That is wonderful. Congratulations!
    • Heather Shay
      What is relaxation to you? Nature? Movie? Reading? Cuddling with a pet? Music?
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
      Having just a normal emotional day.
    • Heather Shay
      AMUSEMENT The feeling when you encounter something silly, ironic, witty, or absurd, which makes you laugh. You have the urge to be playful and share the joke with others. Similar words: Mirth Amusement is the emotional reaction to humor. This can be something that is intended to be humorous, like when someone tells a good joke or when a friend dresses up in a ridiculous costume. But it can also be something that you find funny that was not intended to be humorous, like when you read a sign with a spelling error that turns it into an ironic pun. For millennia, philosophers and scholars have been attempting to explain what exactly it is that makes something funny. This has led to several different theories. Nowadays, the most widely accepted one is the Incongruity Theory, which states that something is amusing if it violates our standards of how things are supposed to be. For example, Charlie Chaplin-style slapstick is funny because it violates our norms of competence and proper conduct, while Monty Python-style absurdity is funny because it violates reason and logic. However, not every standard or norm violation is necessarily funny. Violations can also evoke confusion, indignation, or shock. An important condition for amusement is that there is a certain psychological distance to the violation. One of the ways to achieve this is captured by the statement ‘comedy is tragedy plus time’. A dreadful mistake today may become a funny story a year from now. But it can also be distant in other ways, for instance, because it happened to someone you do not know, or because it happens in fiction instead of in real life. Amusement also needs a safe and relaxed environment: people who are relaxed and among friends are much more likely to feel amused by something. A violation and sufficient psychological distance are the basic ingredients for amusement, but what any one person find funny will depend on their taste and sense of humor. There are dozens of ‘humor genres’, such as observational comedy, deadpan, toilet humor, and black comedy. Amusement is contagious: in groups, people are more prone to be amused and express their amusement more overtly. People are more likely to share amusement when they are with friends or like-minded people. For these reasons, amusement is often considered a social emotion. It encourages people to engage in social interactions and it promotes social bonding. Many people consider amusement to be good for the body and the soul. By the end of the 20th century, humor and laughter were considered important for mental and physical health, even by psychoneuroimmunology researchers who suggested that emotions influenced immunity. This precipitated the ‘humor and health movement’ among health care providers who believed that humor and laughter help speed recovery, including in patients suffering from cancer1). However, the evidence for health benefits of humor and laughter is less conclusive than commonly believed2. Amusement is a frequent target of regulation: we down-regulate it by shifting our attention to avoid inappropriate laughter, or up-regulate it by focusing on a humorous aspect of a negative situation. Interestingly, amusement that is purposefully up-regulated has been found to have the same beneficial physical and psychological effects as the naturally experienced emotion. Amusement has a few clear expressions that emerge depending on the intensity of the emotion. When people are mildly amused, they tend to smile or chuckle. When amusement intensifies, people laugh out loud and tilt or bob their head. The most extreme bouts of amusement may be accompanied by uncontrollable laughter, tears, and rolling on the floor. Most cultures welcome and endorse amusement. Many people even consider a ‘good sense of humor’ as one of the most desirable characteristics in a partner. At the same time, most cultures have (implicit) rules about what is the right time and place for amusement. For example, displays of amusement may be deemed inappropriate in situations that demand seriousness or solemness, such as at work or during religious rituals.
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • April Marie
      Good morning, everyone!!! Two cups of coffee in the books and I am just feeling so wonderful this morning. Not sure why, but I'm happy and smiling.   Enjoy this beautiful day!!!
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...