The Marcie Chronicles

[MarcieMarie12]

I think next time it will be a drop the skirt to the knees to avoid issues. It was a below the knee skirt that was loose fitting and I didn't want to remove the belt holding it. BTW-when does using the ladies room make more sense? When I am dressed, I think I've been passing pretty well, but worry about getting clocked if use the women's room (either because I loose my confidence or have some other tell).

[Carolyn Marie]

Marcie, the key to not getting hassled in the restroom is simply to act like you belong there, the same as all the other women. If you act nervous, start looking around, or stare at someone standing in line, you have a much greater chance of calling attention to yourself. If you catch someone looking at you, ignore them. Believe me, hon, women in the restroom aren't on the prowl for transwomen to bully. They're there to do their business and leave, just like you.

Be sure to act appropriately. Use a seat cover, try not to loudly pass gas, and don't drop your skirt to the floor. Don't be afraid to converse if you're standing in line. Women sometimes do that. We're part of the women's club!

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[MarcieMarie12]

I'll definitely need to work on that voice then!

[Guest Jamie61]

Hi Marcie,

I've enjoyed reading your posts. I still get a little nervous if there is a line for the restroom. I feel allot of it comes down to things that don't change, hands and feet as well as one that hard to change... voice. I've started just using more of my regular voice, avoiding any deepness and choosing my words and phrases. That seems to have open up my ability to chat more naturally. It's nice to continue to pass after talking with someone! Still though lines for the ladies room are something I try to avoid.

I am also very tired of back and forth, it's getting blurry... This is good motivation to keep moving forward. Sounds like your doing very well and your experiences are exciting to read because it's so reminiscent and how I still feel about being me.

Be safe!

Jamie

[Charlize]

This subject is obviously hard for many. Confidence and experience works here as in all situations. In time with repeated calls of nature it will become natural. By the way i hike up my skirt and in the winter often wear one that almost touches the ground. It's just a matter of bundling everything up and pulling it around front a bit. I double check to make sure i'm clear and sit.

Speaking of long skirts when squatting in a field is necessary they provide a built in rest room if spread out a bit with an eye to ground slope.

I can only imagine the giggles of my grandchildren about this subject.

Hugs,

Charlize

[MarcieMarie12]

Well, went out for time number 8 to a local support group of ladies that I've joined. Was actually my first time there as me. The exciting part is most people did not recognize me right away! We went out to eat afterwards, and had a good time. Then on Sunday went out again to meet some other ladies for lunch. I had something important to tell them--basically I am getting divorced, and I am moving out...I've been on a roller coaster ride ever since.

[Guest Jamie61]

Hey Marcie, Sorry to read about this, but perhaps it is what is best. I went through a divorce a few years ago and it still bothers me. I will be thinking about you and hoping for peace in your life.

Jamie

[tracy_j]

Parting is usually sad even when for the best. I hope things go well for you Marcie

[MarcieMarie12]

Yeah, but I am going to have to tell the parents and brothers about their sister....I want to get it over with so I know where they stand. The anxiety over their response is worse than the actual consequences...I am in 40's and financially independent (even after the divorce).

[tracy_j]

Obviously I don't know your situation but with me, even though I am probably similarly financially independant, I would feel that there is far more to lose than the money!

That said - I think taking things carefully and making steps to avoid any standoffs will help. My own experiences tell me that people do not readily understand and tend to be very confused and mixed in their reactions. It is perhaps easy to get to a position to know where they stand if you put them against you but with care, acceptance is often realisable. Changes in relationships, or understanding of such though, seems to take time.

My advice is try not to rush and think things through

Tracy

[MarcieMarie12]

I''ve been thinking about how to handle it for months. I think I am ready, and actually spoke to my GT about it. Had a nice outing yesterday, took the day off from work to get a make-up lesson. It was fun, I learned alot, and well trust me the eye-make up was gourgeous (transition lenses kind of make it hard to see).

http://forum.lauras-playground.com/forums/index.php?app=galleryℑ=12445

[MarcieMarie12]

Oh and the highlight of the day, other than getting some make-up skills for life was that I was able to interact with people, kept my voice consistent (after the lessson) and got mam'd (more times than I care to count) and called lady by a grandfather when I helped him and his wife get a picture with their two grandkids in front of that same christmas tree in my gallery. Yes I wore my sunday best, I wanted to be fabulous.

I did think I got Sir'd once, but it was an actual guy behind me.

[MarcieMarie12]

Well I got out for time number 10 to go to a different support group. I enjoyed meeting some fresh faces, but got lost on my way to the post metting dinner. Had my dress on wrong too (soon to be ex-wife point that out ( I thought the zipper was on the side not the back on the pencil skirt).

[Guest]

Well I got out for time number 10 to go to a different support group. I enjoyed meeting some fresh faces, but got lost on my way to the post metting dinner. Had my dress on wrong too (soon to be ex-wife point that out ( I thought the zipper was on the side not the back on the pencil skirt).

Your pictures look great! I've had the skirt boo boos too. Sometimes seams and zippers travel around if I scooch around too much.

It's a wonderful feeling when a sister sees a problem and adjusts things for me that I can't readily see, especially coming out of the ladies room.

Guys would never help each other like that, they take pictures and laugh, humiliating each other. Sisterhood is wonderful!

You have also reminded me to get my pencil skirt out of storage. Hug. JodyAnn

[Guest Kayla Grace]

I'm a bit late, but the forums haven't been working for me lately and I've been neck high in work.

Transitioning alone definitely has its benefits. It'll be an emotional roller coaster, not to mention the physical changes will be difficult if not overwhelming for the SO

[tracy_j]

Well I got out for time number 10 to go to a different support group. I enjoyed meeting some fresh faces, but got lost on my way to the post metting dinner. Had my dress on wrong too (soon to be ex-wife point that out ( I thought the zipper was on the side not the back on the pencil skirt).

Just for info to all - I think it is universal here so probably over the pond too but it is easy to determine positioning of a skirt / dress etc. The makers label is at the inside top to the back as you are wearing and the laundry / fabric information label is toward the bottom on the inside, to your left hand side as you are wearing. If either of these labels is missing it is still usually straightforward to determine orientation.

I find it very useful for plain skirts as I just look straight down to see the label on the left as I am pulling it on.

Tracy

[MarcieMarie12]

Well yesterday was the first time out post seperation---outing #11. I left and got out too see the GT. Then went to wall mart. I was having trouble as a pair of panties was supposed to be 1/2 off and didn't ring up prperly. So I did what any lady would do, called the clerk over to get some help! They did not even notice something amiss either with my voice or appearance. Yeah me! But still getting mam's is like a victory.

[Guest Mickey]

It's recognition. Of who we are. The woman that we knew we were. And now others are seeing us, in the same way we see ourselves. And you are right, it feels so good.

[MarcieMarie12]

Outing # 12 came and went (Basically a shopping trip to target). Lots of returned smiles and a couple of interactions--but nothing new to note. I try to keep my head up and shoulders back and a smile on my face (not hard, I am happy getting out as me). This leads me to making eye contact with other women--men oddly enough avoid eye contact for the most part. More than a few smiled back--I'm guessing that is a good sign I am passing. But other than that nothing really new.

Outing #13: Some really supportive friends of 20+ years invited me to their new house. The wife was happy there was another girl in the gaming group. Anyway, we went to dinner and the waitress asked for what we would like to drink and I waited for second then realized, hey I am one of the girls so I can speak up and order first. After that, I played a game with the husband (I may still be a girl, but I am still a gamer). I love to paint my miniatures, and name them and imagine them having all sorts of personalities. Guess part of me is still a kid. The husband sir'd me out habit and I corrected him, but I didn't correct every time--just the one time. We both acknowledged it would be an adjustment for everyone-and my thought was that correcting them on occasion would be a better approach, let them know that when they slip I notice, if I did it every time I think it would become awkward for all. They are supportive and trying, and that means a lot to me. They both got hugs in the end. I'm tearing up (in a good way) writing this....

Also, the wife said if I wanted to go shopping with her that she'd love to do that.

[tracy_j]

Happy and confident sounds good

Tracy x

[Guest]

Sounds like you are adjusting well.

I saw the part about the old habits others have.

I think you handled it perfectly. I also have some folks that cant quite get the hang of it and that is how i too handle it.

I have one co-worker that took more than 8 months to "form new habits.

[MarcieMarie12]

My fourteenth outing was great except for the end. Went out shopping, then went to my parents dressed. As I was mam'd so many times I lost count and talked to about a dozen people (no strange looks either). It was awesome. I then went to my parents house and that did not go over well. Too soon to show up dressed I guess. My mom's comments were particularly hurtful. I wonder if the support from them is conditional.

My 15th outing was to a toys for tots event. It was fun to get out and I got to introduce myself as Marcie to lots of new people.

BTW---My face gets oily after about 8 hours and the make-up gets a sheen on it. Forunately stubble isn't the issue. Just that my face feels like a giant oil slick. It looks ok otherwise.I am using an oil mattifier to reduce the oil. Is this typical? How long does your make-up last (assuming no yardwork or heavy lifting)

[tracy_j]

It might have some bearing Marcie but I have realised that the old saying with women that they are going to powder their noses when wanting to discuss things in private has meaning! I have noticed that the first part of my face which starts to get shiny during the day is my nose. I don't usually bother but on occasions do retire to the women's room to powder my nose. There may well be a lot of truth in the saying

Tracy

[MarcieMarie12]

Hmm, guessing I'm going to have a powder my nose breaks every once in a while...

[MarcieMarie12]

My 16th outing was significant in that I went for a consult with the electroligist, with no make-up (BTW-Laser first then electrolysis). I braved a grocerie store too without make-up. I was more than a bit self concious. I was clean shaven though.

My 17th outing was in the evening--I got to wear my christmas present to myself. No that link is to the dress. I love it and it fits me very well. (http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/1f30/). Too busy talking to others at a pot luck to take pictures. I brought some cornbread muffins. PM me if you want the recipe..they arre really good and easy to make.