The Marcie Chronicles

[MarcieMarie12]

The 18th outing was to my gaming group of 20 years. They were trying and well, that's all I can ask. It is an adjustment for all of us. I accept that. It was fun, and really it was great to be in a place I felt safe and amongst good friends having a good time. Anyway, the fact that they were trying is really great and I soo much appreciate it.

PS: We gamed for basicaly 12 hours, I powdered my nose once at around 7 hours in. By the time I got home, I think half the make-up had already flaked off (and stubble was poking through). I cannot wait to zap the hairs on my face!

[Charlize]

It seems like you are having success and fun with your outings. I remember similar experiences as i found my way and my confidence in the world as a woman. Thanks for sharing your journey with us.

Hugs,

Charlize

[MarcieMarie12]

Well. went on outing number 19. Anyone noticing how much more frequent my outings have become? Especially on the weekends. GOt home from work, needed somethings at target. Took me an hour to get ready. But in all honesty I don't mind. I mean the only people seeing me are cashiers and store clerks but at least I know I look good. In my humble opinion. I didn't over do the foundation either!. Anyway, it was just a trip to the store. No odd looks. Voice is hard, not so much once I'm there--it is easy to keep it. Its when starting from cold that I stumble or sound a bit off. I'm going to work on that. Part of that is choosing a few common words to tune my voice to (anyway, yes, and thank you).

[MarcieMarie12]

It seems like you are having success and fun with your outings. I remember similar experiences as i found my way and my confidence in the world as a woman. Thanks for sharing your journey with us.

Hugs,

Charlize

For the most part yes. My big frustrations is my oily face tends to cause problems after a while, does HRT help with that? Had my 20th outing today. Went to the GT was late (DC Traffic is terrible) and sadly missed my appointment by 45 minutes. :hairpull:The receptionist was nice though!

[MarcieMarie12]

My 21st outing was on friday, was a pretty normal trip. Got into another discussion with another girl about credit cards. She suggested that if I am able to, add Marcie as an authorized user. I do think I'm being paranoid about using cards with his name.

My 22nd outing was to see Star Wars. I won't give any spoilers except to say Luke's in Ireland...... . To me the interesting part of being out as me was meeting somebody I didn't know if they knew. My friend might have told him, but I wasn't sure. I knew him a few years ago but it has been a few years. Finn (the star wars character) reminds me of him. I would have said something but didn't want to seem like I was hitting on him. I just kept up the act like he didn't know me.

[MarcieMarie12]

On my 23rd outing I went out with a bunch of other girls (close to 10 of us). Had a good time eating drinking and talking about stuff. I am really tired right now but I did make it to work the next day.

So on the upside I had a great night, made some new friends, and oh I used the woman's room (not single stall) for the first time when another woman was in it. Was like I need to go and I sure wasn't going to use the other two restrooms (I did not have a kid, and the other, well no--just no). Also got to wear a new dress I bought online--it fit well, and I love the rhinestone buckle on it. I have about 10 blouses, 5 skirts, 5 pants, 1 dress and 3 blazer/skirt combos to try on. This is the starter-non-thrift wardrobe for work and being out of the house. Thankfully work is a casual environment.

BTW--This is me right now: -_-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

[tracy_j]

It's good things are working out Marcie

I can relate to the -_-zzzz . I find things very tiring and did so especially at first as it was so new!

Tracy x

[MarcieMarie12]

It was more to the fact that I didn't get to sleep until after 1:00 AM. It was a late night and we all had a very good time of it. I certainly was not used to it, haven't gone out like that in a long while!

[MarcieMarie12]

SInce outing 23, I think I am up to outing 30. I guess this is what happens when being yourself becomes the norm rather than the exception. Just some highlights---went shopping with a friend of mine Me and her even shared a fitting room to try on some of them. Lost my wig when doing it (not unexpected, but still funny). Returned some of the clothes from the big buy I made a couple weeks ago (basically I had some money to start my wardrobe, so I did). 2 of skirts were bleh, not what I thought they were, and a couple pairs of pants. She had fun, I had fun, and basically I ended up picking up a dress and 3 blouses. I also did some solo shopping and purchased a clutch for a new years eve party. I had a good time with some ladies at that event--(Freddie's in Arlington) I met online.

I am guessing I am doing something right, as I am passing when in public. And more than a few times in the past week I've been in a public women's restroom without any trouble. My voice is coming along nicely, and my big issue is endurance and cold starting. I can almost get through a day as long as I am not talking for hours on end.

[Guest AshleighP]

Very exciting! I have been a way for a bit and I am just getting caught up on these forums. So happy your outings have gone well. I am still only at going out fully dressed 3 times. The last time nerves got the better of me and i only took a quick walk around the block late at night.

I do agree that underdressing helps some, but if the desire is real, it doesn't go away.

Thanks for the encouragement!

[MarcieMarie12]

Thanks Ashleigh, I would say my big take away from all this so far is that all this (being out as me) on one level seems so natural to me. On another level it is exciting that I am finally figuring something out about myself!! I will say under dressing at work helps at times, but it is not enough for me.

[MarcieMarie12]

Well, just a quick update. I am about to start HRT, which should help in passing. (Hips yea, booty yeah, now I worry my clothes will stop fitting me right!). BTW--Spent the last 3 days dressed, went out a bunch of times, and well the onlything of note is a scuffed my new boots.... . I love the boots with jeans and a nice blouse. Fun part was interacting with a kid an his father at the elevator in the apartment complex, went to look at jewelry (not the costume kind I currently have)--the salesperson was great even though what I wanted was not available in a size 9 1/2. I am also working up to get my ears pierced. I am not out at work so I hesitate a little about that. I know I shouldn't but I think what piercing studs I want would not work in boy mode just yet.

Oh and lost a clip-on earring!

[Guest]

Omg! I remember having clip ons.!

What a pain!

Heres a suggestion: assuming you work monday - friday.

Get them pierced after work on Friday and keep them in until you walk in to work Monday morning and put them back in after work.

I guess it depends how close you are to coming out at work. If you plan on coming out at work in the next month or so, i would wait.

If you dont have any plans to come out yet, this method may help you have pierced ears.

Good luck

[MarcieMarie12]

My plan is to come out in July so as to give time for HRT and laser/electrolysis to have some effect. Now I need to find a place to get them pierced! Do department stores do this or should I stick to jewelry stores. I am not so sure a tattoo/piercing parlor is the right one for me. I can do it after my GT appointment this Friday! I do agree about the clip-ons. They are a pain and I only had a pair of silver hooped earrings because they tend to go with everything. Lost it while shopping or eating at a restraunt, or driving.

[Jani]

Marcie, There are a number of shops at your local mall that do piercing, like Claire's or The Piercing Pagoda. They're inexpensive, quick and won't question why you're having it done. I got mine pierced at the beginning of January. Just keep them clean so you don't get an infection and don't change them for the dangly ones too soon. I tried when my wife and I went to a movie and I had the hardest time getting the studs back in that night. Give them time to heal!

Good luck,

Jani

[MarcieMarie12]

BTW---Got my pink pills (ok they are actually green, the spiro is white and mint flavored) yesterday and took my first dose last night!

[Guest]

Congratulations, Marcie.

Huggs,

Joann

[MarcieMarie12]

Woke up this morning, felt a bit different! My head didn't feel fogged up like it normally does. If that makes any sense. Of course that might just be a placebo effect. Time will tell.

[Guest Mickey]

Yay! Congrats! And as far as the ear piercing, I strongly recommend a tattoo shop. They are much cleaner and safer from infections. And the folks in these places are usually way more accepting of TG people, in my own experience.

[Guest Kayla Grace]

Just an FYI, Hrt won't help all that much in passing. Yes, Hrt can change some aspects of your face, and the redistribution of fat. But Hrt is the icing on the cake. What matters the most I've found out is mannerisms such as walking and talking.

But still, it seems you are starting to enjoy becoming you! Confidence is definitely essential to passing.

So big grats to you, for going out time and time again, starting hrt, and thinking about coming out at work. I think the earrings might help to "phase it in". Just showing up en femme might be a bit too shocking for employees. Talk to the HR; they might be able to assist you further

[MarcieMarie12]

The place I work for is small (slightly less than 50 people). I'm not just thinking about it, I've already broached the subject with the head of my department (I.e. one step below that of the Boss). He is being very supportive. That being said, I am the first for our organization, and I am putting together some stuff for him and my supervisor. Most of what I have so far is on the internet.

BTW got my earrings pierced at the piercing pagoda after my GT appointment. The piercing was free with purchase and I got 50% off. Good timing on my part!! I was talking with one of the lady doing the piercing and she asked if it hurt. I said it was not as bad as the laser hair removal I am going through. She asked me what that felt like, and I said it was kind of like gettinp nippped by a horde of puppies. Though I might be in trouble because the piercing studs are way too, I can be such a girly girl when it comes to stuff like this (small amethyst in white gold). I could just leave them in for a while and see if anyone notices at work.....I could always say I just liked them because they were purple though.

[Charlize]

You may want to leave them in simply because they close in quickly at first. it was a year before i felt safe to not have something in my ears every day. I found small hoops worked great for nights as well.

I'm glad you have support from your supervisor. It may be that coming out is getting closer. Have you talked to your therapist about making that step?

Hugs,

Charlize

[MarcieMarie12]

The only place I am not out is work, so I am pretty much free to be me anyplace else. I did go over that with my therapist and coming out at work. I'm going to try taking them out before I leave for work and then putting them back in as soon as i get home. Hopefully they won't close up during the 9 hours I am at work. I live close to work now anyway.

[MarcieMarie12]

I am off tomorrow too so I will have had them in for almost 4 days.

[MarcieMarie12]

Was out today shopping ---go figure!!, what else is a girl supposed to do on a day off. Anyway, was at the door at the same time as a gentleman. He and then his son opened the door for me! I thanked them both, and it put a big smile on my face. One of those firsts I haven't had yet!