The Marcie Chronicles

[MarcieMarie12]

Well, my "job search" turned into a why don't you start your own business search. I've been looking at starting my own business and doing research and talking to prospective partners. It is a lot of work!!! The group I am working with asked for permission to do a background check, so I had to out myself because of the name change. We will see what happens.....I do have a back up plan after this.

 

I am in the process of taking some classes at the moment and no one has any idea that I am trans. Yeah semi stealth mode!! That being said, me and the other 3 girls in the class of 9 went outside to a picnic table and talked during lunch. The 5 guys all went their separate ways, guys are weird......

 

I did run into trouble being semi-stealth. The subject of my name change came up after my divorce. They just assumed I talking about leaving my husband. (cis hetero normative people just assume everyone else is cis hetero normative I guess). I went along with it, I was not in the mood to explain to them that I was trans.  Felt great to be validated, but on the other hand I did not like the white lie.

 

I am at month 9 since my surgery, I am 97% healed. I still try to dilate twice a day, though for the second time I try to use something a little more fun.  I do sometimes get some minor bleeding, but not often (1 a week, and usually when I don't get the second dilation in). 

 

[Rabbit]

Wow!  I looked back on some of those earlier pictures you posted.  Hard to believe we've all come so far in the last several years!  ?

[MarcieMarie12]

That it has!!! I know you have come pretty far as well!!

[MarcieMarie12]

It is my official 1 year since surgery, my big takeaway is that dilation is not fun....but I have one more appointment with Dr. Rumer tomorrow. I find it hard to believe sometimes how far I have come. Transitioning has been one of the more challenging things I have ever done, but was so worth it. Non trans issues are more pressing (like finding work--might be trans related though as I always wonder if they see my name do a quick search and see AKA-Dead Name). But life goes on, and really not much gets me down these days. 

[Jani]

Congratulations Marcie!  

8 minutes ago, MarcieMarie12 said:

I find it hard to believe sometimes how far I have come.

Me as well!  

 

9 minutes ago, MarcieMarie12 said:

Transitioning has been one of the more challenging things I have ever done, but was so worth it. Non trans issues are more pressing

I totally agree but we were up to the challenge!  Yeah!  You know you've arrived at normalcy when life is about living and not a constant stream of trans issues.    

 

Cheers, Jani

[Cyndee]

Congratulations Marcie on your milestone

 

Cyndi -

 

 

[tracy_j]

I like your updates Marcie. This thread was a good idea

 

Happy travels x

 

Tracy

[MarcieMarie12]

18 hours ago, tracy_j said:

I like your updates Marcie. This thread was a good idea

 

Happy travels x

 

Tracy

 I'm glad and hope others find it valuable. I had a clean bill of health from the doctor!!!

[MarcieMarie12]

Well I have been working on my business, stressing about money and the lack of income for the past year and other non-trans issues since the last update. The real estate world is not for me (found that out within a week of working at a C21 office. I do not like canned conversations nor do I like cold calling.

 

So one the business front, I've moved on to looking at another franchise. This is a pest control franchise that is based in Chicago. I'll be buying into a territory in the DC area though. I plan to be open this spring!! I also am getting a van and equipment, very exciting. But of course I am hoping the business does get off the ground as quickly as I would like. I don't think they know I am trans, but a if they did any sort background check, it probably showed my dead name as an aka. All I know is that I have not mentioned it nor have they mentioned it. . 

 

Anyway, so beyond building my business empire I've been enjoying life with my girlfriend, meeting with my dad for lunch. Sadly not much interaction with my brothers and I found out why. But basically it involved my brothers claiming that they will put up with my presence so long as I don't bring my girlfriend....I declined to attend either as my girlfriend has no one else in the area. Here is the letter I wrote to them:. 

 

"

Dear XXX and XXX,

So last Saturday, I spoke with Dad I was informed that my girlfriend of 2 years is not welcome to join us for Thanksgiving and this would be the same for Christmas. Not because he did not wish it, but because some of the nephews have issues. Honestly, I don’t buy it,… and even if my nephews “had issues”,  I would hope that my brothers would be adults in dealing with their children, rather than just giving into their unreasonable, and dare I wonder if they are transphobic demands. All this indicates to me is that there is just bare tolerance for my presence.

 

I had truly hoped that after a few years  things would get better. Although I barely hear from either of you beyond birthday and Christmas cards, I wrote it off as you are still adjusting or just being too busy with your own lives. But at this point I am not sure we can have a relationship at all. And really, what is the point? Putting conditions for my appearance at family events takes no consideration into how it affects me or my feelings.

 

Am I to be treated by family as a pariah, some criminal on parole to have limits place on me just because I am LGBT? According to what I have experienced, that seems to be the case. Frankly, I can’t and won’t accept that. If I was not transgender would we be having this conversation about me bringing home my girlfriend? I highly doubt we would.

 

So, sorry and please don’t worry; I won’t be at Thanksgiving or Christmas this year.  You can have your holidays free from the inconvenience of me. 

 

 

It was sent before Thanksgiving, and beyond my Dad (who I CC'd on the e-mail, telling me that they read it, neither have responded.  I do wonder if it is wrong to not send Christmas or birthday cards to either brothers family anymore. I am fully frustrated with them at this point that I no longer care beyond it making me look bad.

 

 

 

[Jani]

I think the type of personality needed for RE sales is unique, for the reasons you state.  Good luck in your new venture!  I'm sure it will take off.  

 

I'm sorry you had to write that letter.  As to continuing sending cards, you don't say you're writing them off completely so sending pleasantries isn't a bad idea, especially as they send cards to you.  It will be telling if they don't continue.  I've always been a proponent of not doing things I don't enjoy so quietly pulling away sounds like a solid option, although how would your dad feel about this as it exposes a rift in the family?  

 

Jani  

[MarcieMarie12]

I think  my dad is trying to keep the peace. But what he fails to understand is how deeply this hurts. He said to try to see it from their point of view. However the only point of view I see that would warrant such a response is that either my brothers are transphobic, homophobic or one or more of my nephews are (which I highly doubt). Otherwise by this point, they would  have reached out to me in some fashion to talk about it. Instead it was just talking about the weather and happy birthday or merry Christmas. They never asked about the trans issues or discussed it with me.  . 

[Cyndee]

Wow this bites Marcie,

 

First, best of luck with your new business venture !

 

As for the family issues, sigh, do I dare generalize after reading this, that's it's a "man thing" in play, sorry.

 

From the male point of view, It's culturally difficult, especially when fathers are trying to "socialize" sons, the message is NO girlishness ever. How could the little ones see just how happy you are ?

 

Someday I hope all of this just fades away (long beyond my years).

 

Best

 

C -

[MarcieMarie12]

I just feel sorry for my dad. He saw his family disentegrate due to various events over the past few years. I had luch with him today, and he said that they never hear from me either. But that (and I didn't debate the point) is not true. I havecalled, I have stopped by a couple of times at my brothers house. In the end I told dad not to get involved as the messenger. If they want to say something, they should talk to me directly. But other than that the talk went well all things concerned. Though my mom is not doing all that well.

[Jani]

That was good that you cautioned your dad to not get involved in this sibling thing.  One way or another, it will work its way out.   Your mother is not doing well, I hope its not her health. 

 

Jani

[tracy_j]

Hi Marcie,

 

It's good to know that youa re progressing jobwise. I am not sure about pest control myself, although my judgement will probably be coloured by infestations, and from watching the Australian documentaries they show here with nasty things like Brown snakes, Funnel Webs and crocodiles ?

 

I hope things work out in the end with your family. People tend to react in different ways and, although they always seem to have a big reaction, it is not always predictable. On my side my brother and sister were very distant for a while, although not heavily negative. I just carried on as usual and they steadily accepted things (it too my brother a couple of years even to mention my hair colour). On my partners side they just laughed openly. It was just as bad, but they did get over it. Just reactions. Family are family though so it is a good idea to keep in contact, send cards etc. Personally I would keep it low key though and just let life's events push yours into the background.

 

I too hope your parents are both Ok

 

Tracy

[MarcieMarie12]

I am two days from doing my first treatments!!!  I also realize I've been away for almost a month an a half. Lessons learned:

Taxes, government licensing, leasing, financing, marketing, training, customer management software and other details take a lot of my time. It has been very stressful, and having everything on the company web site only in mens sizes is a bit dysphoric for me too. But it would be frivolous for me to ask for women's sizes.  

[Jani]

Hi Marcie!  I've wondered how you were progressing.  It seems you're on the cusp of this adventure taking off.  Great!  I wish all the best.  I'm sure you've done all your homework and trained well.  

 

Can you alter the men's uniform to fit?  

 

Jani

[MarcieMarie12]

Not really, thankfully they seem to be unisex. But it is aggravating. GIrls do not look great in things designed for men.

[MarcieMarie12]

• Never did where that uniform. It just looked to crappy on me. I was swimming in it. I also ran into it setting off my dysphoria, so that was a bit unexpected. I am going to try to sell the business after this season though, I found other aspects very much not to my liking (sales and marketing are my least favorite things). In the end Ihave around 45 repeat customers and about 20 I just di one off.treat ments for (mostly through groupon). Once I am done with the busines I am thinking I will try either cyber security of teaching.  

[tracy_j]

Hi Marcie. It's good to hear from you again. I am sure I am I am not the only one who thinks about you. Thank you for the update. Well you have given it a go. Hopefully in profit. Keep happy!

 

Tracy

[Charlize]

Good to see you Marcie.  I sounds like your making changes in your life.  Keep in touch.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Jani]

Hello Marcie, Glad to see your post.  I'm sorry the business didn't quite work out as you hoped but I suppose it was an experience to add to your list.  I've always heard Groupon sales were loss leaders since they take a good percentage off the take on top of the discount they recommend.   I hope you can sell quickly and that your new venture works out well.  

 

Cheers, Jani  

[BrandiBri]

Hi Marcie, I have been distracted by life for quite some time now and hope to get back to reading and sharing again. I backtracked to when you had your surgery. I am glad that it went well. I am sorry about your brothers, hopefully they will come to accept you as the wonderful person you are. 

On 12/1/2018 at 6:49 AM, tracy_j said:

. Family are family though so it is a good idea to keep in contact, send cards etc.

I think this a good idea, even if you just send cards. this will let them know that you harbor no hard feelings toward them.

I hope that you find the right niche where your business opportunities lie. 

As I look back on my journey, I find that the advice and support you and others here has been invaluable. I remember feeling as if I had known all of you since i had been reading your posts for many months before registering here. Sorry about rambling, I know this is about your journey, not mine. Just had to let you know how much you have helped me in my journey.

 

Hugs,

Brandi

[MarcieMarie12]

Hi, been a while and thought I would give an update. After all was said and done my then girlfriend and I went to Arizona to visit her dad. We also met and had a nice lunch with my brother there.  We also met a friend (our hairdresser) in Tombstone. Got a cool cowboy hat that I love and it fits my big head.  In January I looked at the numbers and realized the business model I bought into was flawed as the territory was too small for the money they wanted me to spend on advertising. Basically in the end I closed my business.

 

After that I started substitute teaching more and more. I really enjoyed it until Covid shut the schools down. I then went back to school to get my teacher's license. That took me until December to complete the classwork.  

 

In May I got married to my then girlfriend. It was a small ceremony. But we are happy. In October we went to my Uncle's funeral and it was a bit wierd between myself and my brother. They ignored me for thr the most part and only interacted when were talking with my dad.  Not my issue, was polite but I am not seeking to maintain a relationship on their terms. If they want one they are the ones who will have to reach out now. 

 

 

As I said before most issues in my life are not trans related, and for the most part I am enjoying my life. It's not perfect, but expecting that is making onself unhappy in my opinion.

 

[Chloe Cozee]

@MarcieMarie12 Hi, I am new on this site and just read your update. Wow, you have been busy!