Not Sure

[Guest With Faith Or Flames]

For the longest time I've thought im MTF but now im not so sure. Most of the time I hate the body I have and my masculinity. I dislike everything from my facial hair to my deep voice. Then there are times when I feel comfortable being male. What does this mean exactly?

[Sally]

It means join the club - you are used to 'being male' so it is a kind of a comfort zone when things get a little too much to deal with.

As you get closer to the HRT it becomes a bit more 'real' and you have a passing thoutght or two about, how much do I really hate being like this - if the answer comes back that you really just can't stand it anymore then transition - if it comes back not too bad or all of the time, possibly androgyne is where you are.

You (with the help of your therapist) are the only one who can answer that - be honest with yourself and don't worry about what anyone else thinks.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Jo-I-Dunno]

Like Sally said: join the club. No one can tell you exactly what your feelings mean, but a therapist can help YOU figure it out. Good luck!

[Guest Irielle]

Yup, join the club. I think it's common for us non-bigendered people to do some wandering around in our gender identiy.

I think we also worry too much when we can't fit ourselves in the bi-gendered way of thinking. After all, it's the way we were taught and the way the world seems to think.

I agree that you want to find a good gender therapist. That's the first step. Just be honest with yourself and with your therapist and most of all be happy with who you are and with whomever turn out to be.

[Guest kirsty]

This is something we all go through, I have found though that the more time goes on the less feelings I have like this. I try to think of it like this --- Nobody feels happy with themselves all of the time. Even the most beautiful people in the world who some would deem as perfect must have days where they don't like themselves and it's the same for us too. Plus there is always an edge of doubt/caution when making a decision like this. The important thing is to take things slowly, see a therapist and look after yourself.

[Guest OneOutOfnOne]

I am not uncomfortable with being male. But then, there's nothing I particularly like about it, either. Besides, I'd probably be comfortable as a walrus. Does this mean I should be a walrus? No, it only means it takes a lot to make me uncomfortable. Ask yourself if this also applies to you.

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Dear With Faith,

There is nothing unusual about how you are feeling!! I am glad that you posted your question here to let us know what you are feeling. Just go with how you feel, don't try to deny or mask you feeling1. Most of all don't think your feelings are wrong!! This is all part of growing! As you go through your feelings you are becoming more self aware!!

This is all OK, don't worry!!

LOL

bernii