Passing Critiques

[Guest Emily_MI]

I have been Full-time since October of last year. I don't get outed in public, or at least I don't think I do? but I still feel that I don't pass very well. Any recommendations? critiques?

[Guest Kenna Dixon]

Hi, Emily...

It's hard to judge based upon one picture. But I can't see how you would have any trouble passing.

[Nicole W]

Look fine to me.

[MarcieMarie12]

You look great in your picture!

[Guest Emily_MI]

Hi, Emily...

It's hard to judge based upon one picture. But I can't see how you would have any trouble passing.

True, here is a album link to some more of my pics :-)

http://imgur.com/a/skmuq#0

[VickySGV]

The smile is just a tad on the tomboyish side, but it looks happy which is the major clue to you at least liking who you are!! As Kenna said, one picture does not give the whole story. The fact you posted it here in a Trans* centered site gives me clues that you are Trans*, but posted elsewhere without that clue I would not even blink at it being anything other than feminine.

I am so happy just being me, that I have gotten beyond the inner "need to pass" phase of things. I am accepted as me, whether it is androgynous ????? <either> or a woman. (Well I am a bit vocal educational about being Trans* so I blow my cover more than once in a while.)

If people are happy to be with you as Emily, accept you as Emily, and work with you as Emily, then I would not be the least bit concerned about passing. That is how Vicky's life is however she looks. Go to my gallery here and see what that damage means.

[Guest Edu]

First of all, let me remind that the camera is always a liar: details such as light, angle, etc have a much different effect on a still picture than in real life encounters. Also, pictures miss most of mannerisms and body language, as well as voice and speech patterns, which are a substantial part of passing.

In addition, we trans* folk (at least those of us who have been or tried being full time or passing) tend to pay a lot of attention to subtle clues about gender, so we can often find "flaws" that would go unnoticed for most people (and hence are not really an issue).

After those disclaimers, the one thing that caught my attention on that picture is the forehead: your choice of hairstyle (specifically, the long bangs on your left creating such a contrast) make your forehead look somewhat big. The picture angle also accentuates that a lot. I suggest you try taking some pictures at different angles, and even try some variations on your bangs, and compare them (no need to post them if you don't want). Then you can decide which one best matches how you want to present yourself.

In any case, I don't think it's a major issue. In the context of a "Trans passing forum" post, it may stand out. Outside of such context (like in everyday encounters, in a profile picture, etc), it may be noticeable but not a blatant giveaway.

Hugs,

Edu

[JJ]

Some days even after living full time for several years and not being misgendered except by people who knew me before ( most of them are forgetting I was ever any other way) I still look and in mirror and think they must be blind because I see a ghost of the past. How we actually look is the least of being see in our true gender. Mannerisms and voice and body language all count far, far more. I've read that on average we process around 10,000 bits of information about someone when we meet them. Of that only a small part is actual appearance. And no matter the appearance if the rest isn't in line it still doesn't work. So saying how someone does or does not successfully present can be really hard and misleading.

I do agree on the bangs. I've noticed many transwomen still want the clear forehead they have always been used to but it is one of the big visual differences between men and women on first glance. Men have higher and broader foreheads and expose more forehead even when their hair is long. It's kind of like men emphasize their head size and women emphasize their faces with their hairstyles.

You do look very nice. Happy and friendly.

Johnny

[Guest]

Not sure if you are wearing Make-up but typical feminine features do not appear to have much accent in this picture.

That is not meant to imply that you look Male I simply think you look like a woman without make-up. it is a personal preference thing and I like make-up.

Also I would suggest covering a bit more forehead if possible but again, just my personal taste. I love having lots of hair all around my face sometimes at the edge of ridiculous! ( think "KENNY" from South Park ! LOL! ) I find that I am partial to a swept bang across my forehead (as seen in my avatar) but that can be hard to stay in place. and not very practical for my profession.

If you do wear make-up I suggest that you highlight your eyes to make them appear bigger. ( liner,Mascara, false lashes and various highlight colors.) shape and define eyebrows might be helpful to expand the eyes. (totally your call) when I go out with minimal make-up I wear only Mascara and lipstick because they give the most bang for the buck.

Some nice earrings would go well. and maybe some color to finger nails?

You have a natural beauty thing going on there so don't worry too much about passing but rather focus on enhancing a bit (depending on where you are going and your taste of course.) also keep in mind I am giving critique to MY taste.

Your dress looks great on you and your smile is awesome! hair length and color are very nice on you also.

If your are asking if you pass in that picture I say Yes. If you want to know what I would suggest? There it is above.

:)Nothing but good intention and honest opinion. I would certainly want the same.

[Guest Emily_MI]

Not sure if you are wearing Make-up but typical feminine features do not appear to have much accent in this picture.

That is not meant to imply that you look Male I simply think you look like a woman without make-up. it is a personal preference thing and I like make-up.

Also I would suggest covering a bit more forehead if possible but again, just my personal taste. I love having lots of hair all around my face sometimes at the edge of ridiculous! ( think "KENNY" from South Park ! LOL! ) I find that I am partial to a swept bang across my forehead (as seen in my avatar) but that can be hard to stay in place. and not very practical for my profession.

If you do wear make-up I suggest that you highlight your eyes to make them appear bigger. ( liner,Mascara, false lashes and various highlight colors.) shape and define eyebrows might be helpful to expand the eyes. (totally your call) when I go out with minimal make-up I wear only Mascara and lipstick because they give the most bang for the buck.

Some nice earrings would go well. and maybe some color to finger nails?

You have a natural beauty thing going on there so don't worry too much about passing but rather focus on enhancing a bit (depending on where you are going and your taste of course.) also keep in mind I am giving critique to MY taste.

Your dress looks great on you and your smile is awesome! hair length and color are very nice on you also.

If your are asking if you pass in that picture I say Yes. If you want to know what I would suggest? There it is above.

:)Nothing but good intention and honest opinion. I would certainly want the same.

I do appreciate the honestly, for myself, I would want the absolute honesty to help me with my transition; even if the comments are negative.

I don't wear makeup honestly, not that I don't want to but I am absolutely horrible with doing makeup and I end up looking like a a character from the Rocky Horror Show that is on bath salt. I get discouraged quite easily whenever I try to do my makeup, so because of my discouragement I usually go a long time before I try to do my makeup again. My cousin, who in a previous life, used to be a makeup artist and offered to help me with my makeup. I will defiantly take her on this and hopefully show me some techniques that I can not only use, but also makeup techniques that actually work for me. Also she said she has some ideas for my hair as well so I am hesitatingly looking forward to these sessions with her. I told her that she might need to carve out a lot of extra time because I am really hope fess with makeup so we will see :-)

[Guest]

ok. cool, if you are into wearing make-up then start with mascara on upper and lower lashes. Its a pretty basic application and does not require blending or other skills. if you put too much or too little its not the end of the world.

Then some lip color, get something similar to what the color of your natural lips are. this way you can practice how to apply and wear it without it being too noticeable. if you feel like you get the hang of those, try some light blush ( pinch your cheek and get a color similar to the color it becomes)

Get your eyebrows shaped by a pro at least once to see how it looks and darken/define your brows with eye shadow powder.

Those are the DO'S

if you are NOT good at make-up application the don'ts and classic hard parts are:

Foundation:. the classic cover up "Cake Face" is easy to do so use moisturizer for now.

Another pain is EYE shadow. I can imagine this is where rocky horror comes into play. don't bother with it. if your skills are not great you will do more damage than good!

Eyebrows : stay away from the pencils for now. they can be tricky.

Contour: helpful if done right but disaster if done wrong.

EyeLiner: its a pain and another classic disaster! if you do your mascara well you don't need it.

That's my version of make-up 101 for ya do what you will with it.

Good luck.

[Guest Clair Dufour]

I think how others look at you indicates how you pass. There's the girl greeting, the boy greeting and the what greeting. From there we adjust our look with what we have to work with. Most of us should look so good as you but, if your 6 foot two you have to compensate just like any tall woman has to well, you compensate. Unfortunatly, being TG often does not come with fashion sense. But behind you I see a hair salon? Your in girl land girl! Even if some of us don't know it all other LGBT people in girl land do. If your out to the right people, all you have to say is max my hair for max girl or, my makeup or my fashion and they with great pleasure will take you there even if it takes a few tries to get your best look. We don't have to be in Hollywood like Catlyn and spend thousands to get the look we want. All we have to do anywhere is find the right people.

[Guest Jamie61]

Hi Emily,

I think you look nice and you seem very happy. I think you would pass easily and I would love to have hair as long as yours!

You have such a good clean look I would try to keep that!

Jamie

[JJ]

Also try good mineral makeup. The cheap can look awful but the good ones especially are amazing and nearly foolproof. Because I am an artist I used my face as a canvas before transition. I was complimented all the time on my beautiful face-compliments on makeup mean you are wearing too much but compliments on how you look mean you got it right. Get a good set and practice .

There are lots of tutorials as well as makeup people at cosmetic counters who are eager to help.
Teenage girls practice a whole lot and have to hone their skills. So do transwomen. Makeup isn't something you are good at because you were born some gender

. It's something you learn And a skill you refine. Get good and you can be more attractive than you dream without looking made up

I was always called beautiful from teens to just before transition. Even fat and old people would talk about my beautiful face. Yet I was also told I looked like a clone of my father when I didn't have on makeup-so much that it startled my mother who thought for a moment I was him when he had been missing for 25 years. And I am seen as male with no question now with that same face that was praised as a beautiful woman. I have good bone structure but the rest was makeup. Practice and practice and then practice some more. Anyone can look stunning with enough practice and you already have a good start with a good face.

Johnny

[Charlize]

I think you should pass but agree less forehead helps and so would a pair of earrings. I didn't notice them in any of the picts. Hopefully your enjoying being you whether you pass or not. Your smile says yes.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Jani]

Emily,

We all have doubts. I know I do but I haven't been outed when in public. Remember that we are our worse judges as we have intimate knowledge of who we are looking at in the mirror. We will always see him looking at back. That said I think you look fine. Smile often and keep a positive attitude. It really shows. Concerning make up, just do a little. Try a little mascara and liquid liner, not too much, just enough to "highlight" your eyes without looking like you have make up on. My philosophy with make up is "less is more". Lots of good advice has been written by others here!

Jani

[SoSarah]

Emily, I worried all the time about being clocked then I realized most people don't even know what time it is. No matter how far I have come, or even grow in this process my sister's will always see their brother's face. By your picture It would never occur to me that I wasent standing next to some lady shopping for a blouse at Macy's. ( young lady ☺ ). For me coloring my hair started the "yes mam!" greeting to arrive more often. Mannerisms has been my Achilles heel. Remember you will probably be your own worse critic. Keep it up and be happy, it goes a long way. Smile's... Sarah

[Guest]

Who's the new girl? She's cute! You're fine Kiddo.

Since you're asking about improvements, I agree with most comments here with a few variations. Purely my opinion added, so take it with a grain of salt. Your mileage may vary.

First stop, a very smart and experienced hair dresser. You have nice hair and enough of it to work with. The very top half destroys your female look. They can help you decide how to get the most feminine style for you.

With make up it's practice, practice, practice! Next stop Walmart or a pharmacy for some make up remover wipes. If you blow it, clean it off and try again.

An on the go day look for me is a very thin stripe of gel eyeliner above my eyes. Just to accentuate them. A nice lip color and not much more.

If you experiment with an eyebrow pencil, choose a color close to your natural color. Remember, make them sisters not identical twins. They will look more natural and take far less time and effort than obsessing perfection.

I love eye shadow but not the dark smokey eyes look. My best colors are a base of copper color and a pink on just the lids. Want dramatic? U tube is your friend. More make up knowledge there than a slumber party! If you can afford the treat, go to Ulta for a full blown make over, you will learn alot. Just always be mindful that the make up style, colors and amounts needs to fit the occasion and maybe time of day. Don't go drag queen dramatic to a camp out.

Lots of pretty girly ear rings. Get multiple piercings so you can wear as many as six. Sometimes I only wear a pair, sometimes three pair, or mix and match. I love my ears to jangle, but that's just me.

Go gettum girlfriend! You already have a great start. Nothing on earth made me feel better than for the first time placing my Ulta and Sally's beauty supply cards in my purse. It was like my official membership cards to the girls club! Giggle. Hug. JodyAnn

[Cosmo]

Alright, I started this previously and my battery died when I was nearly finished. I had a bunch more cheap and easy tips and tricks but I'm at work now. From a stylist perspective this is what I see. Nothing major. Just some ideas to perfect a good look

+1 on the mascara. Along with that a curler. Curling is not a one shot.and then your done. Before applying mascara curl at the base, the a tad farther out and again after that. If you lashes are stubborn after curling them apply hairspray to a clean spoolie and apply to lashes then a couple three coats of light mascara.

Look up tight lining your eyes. Much easier than traditional eye liner, a million times faster and imo open your eyes up tremendously. If you only have time for one thing you'll opt for tight lining. You'll need a good quality brush and a small pot of quality waterproof eyeliner.

Unfortunately you have the typical masculine brow with the associated hairline. Your stylist should be encouraging you to go to a full fringe around eyebrow length. This will camouflage those characteristics.

Eyebrows need to be shaped. Remember they should look like sisters not identical twins.

Play with contouring and shaping. Dark recedes, light brings to the forefront. Get to a quality makeup counter and have them teach you basics. Most work on commission so if you can't afford anything at least tip them for their time. You'll always be a welcomed guest.

I'll post some fabulous references for how to on makeup. They are priceless. They are no longer in print but can find on ebay.