Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Carolyn Marie

Personal Review: "The Danish Girl"

Recommended Posts

Carolyn Marie

I saw this wonderful movie today, along with my wife and son. There won't be any spoilers here, although the true story of Lily is pretty well known.

The performances of Redmayne as Lili and Vikander as Gerda were Oscar worthy, in my view. They were sensitive, moving, honest and tasteful. Redmayne really did his homework, and the advice and counsel he received from several in the community, including one friend of mine, really seem to have been taken to heart.

From a technical standpoint, the costumes, hair, settings and cinematography were all first rate. I won't be surprised if they get a nomination for best costumes.

Emotionally, I certainly saw elements of my own life, especially how the relationship between Lili and Gerda progressed. The pain, sorrow, fear and anger were all very palpable. At times, it was wrenching for me, and i was emotionally wrung out by the movie's end. Me and my wife and son discussed our feelings afterward, and it helped. But there were feelings and thoughts that had to remain private, even from them.

A worthy work of cinema. Please go see it.

Carolyn Marie

Share this post


Link to post
Jani

I saw this movie last night with my wife. We both cried at the end. Overall it was a little to close to home for me. I agree at times it was like an emotional roller coaster. A couple times I felt like leaving the theater. I knew a little about Lili's story so I understood this was an adaptation with plenty of liberty taken in telling the story. Yes, the acting was good and costumes and sets seemed realistic for the times presented.

Jani

Share this post


Link to post
VickySGV

I have not seen the movie yet, but in listening to my friends who have, there is one striking element on their reactions to it that follows on their progress into transition. Those who are full time and have completed transition almost find the reality to be too intense and unsettling, and they have had to really hold on to themselves to stay for the end of it. Their SO's and family members are not nearly as shaken up by it as they are, and people who are in the non-transitioning categories such as occasional CD clubber, and those who are non-Trans* see it as good entertainment, but do not especially bond with the characters and story line. For them, it is academic, but not a gut twister.

Share this post


Link to post
Charlize

I'm hoping to see it but often find my wife is not as interested as i am in movies about transition. They always hit us hard.

Thank you for the review.

Hugs,

Charlize

Share this post


Link to post
Cyndee

Thanks for your impressions Carolyn, I do want to see this movie.

I will comment how we can be affected by cinema sometimes. Before coming out I've long since struggled with seeing movies or images of cross gender themes, the emotional involvement becomes quite intense, I feared others seeing my true self. Case in point, it's early 1983 I went to see a movie then "Tootsie". Watching this movie with friends really triggered something in me. I ended up leaving the movie in the middle, quite shook up over essentially nothing. I proposed to my wife to be latter that night, I realize now, in a way I ran from myself that night.

Share this post


Link to post
JJ

Thank you for the review. I had told my daughter that we are going to see it in the theater. For economic reasons we usually wait till we can watch movies at home but we make exceptions like the Hobbit movies, the new Star Wars and this one. I want to see it in all the intensity that a theater affords.

Maybe. Because no theater is showing it here now. Nor can I find it on a schedule. I will have to go to Little Rock if I want to see it apparently. Sometimes this part of the country can be so depressing. There are some horror movies showing and some horrific movies but apparently this one is just not acceptable here.

Johnny

Share this post


Link to post
Guest

Thanks for your impressions Carolyn, I do want to see this movie.

I will comment how we can be affected by cinema sometimes. Before coming out I've long since struggled with seeing movies or images of cross gender themes, the emotional involvement becomes quite intense, I feared others seeing my true self. Case in point, it's early 1983 I went to see a movie then "Tootsie". Watching this movie with friends really triggered something in me. I ended up leaving the movie in the middle, quite shook up over essentially nothing. I proposed to my wife to be latter that night, I realize now, in a way I ran from myself that night.

I understand the running away from ourselves. That is why when I hear "you are so courageous" I usually reply I'm scared witless. I don't explain all the times I ran, all the crazy overcompensating things I did to prove to myself that's not me.

The first order of business was to have sex with a woman. Would that be like a lesbian having sex with a woman? Would it prove she wasn't hetero? Giggle. The great mysteries of life. Hug. JodyAnn

Share this post


Link to post
Guest Mickey

I saw this the other day. I watch everything online. This movie really hit me right smack in the feels. I had to pause it several times when it got to be a bit too much for me. As Vicky said, being full time, it go to be really intense at times and extremely unsettling. Over all a very good movie.

Share this post


Link to post
Guest saoirse

I'm hoping to see it but often find my wife is not as interested as i am in movies about transition. They always hit us hard.

Thank you for the review.

Hugs,

Charlize

I was going to watch it with my wife but a friend suggested I watch it myself first. this was a good idea for me as the story might have scared my wife a little . I had only a brief idea of lilly's story so I did not know what to expect . like others here there were moments I just wanted to stop watching it , there was a lot of moments where I thought "omg thats just like me " and a lot I could empathise with . it was tough watching at times but I am glad I did. I have found myself thinking about the film a lot since .

Tara

Share this post


Link to post
TrueSelf

Oh my! Only the trailer already touched me close to tears. Will have to keep my tissues ready when the movie starts from 7th january on over here.

Share this post


Link to post
LeighAllison
The movie depicted well the ignorance of transexualism by the medical community and the gruesome things they did to "cure" trans women. It's so sad to imagine what trans women went through back then.


The movie showed the pain and upheaval that transition causes to everyone around. Gerta's life was turned upside down completely outside of her control. Watching that was the most difficult part of the movie for me.


Mostly the movie was a wonderful love story where Gerta, knowing that she would lose her husband (and ultimately even Lilly) supported and comforted her anyway and never stopped loving her. That's what made the movie fulfilling. She knew that she had to let Lilly fly even though she loved her (hence the last scarf scene).


What I think the movie missed on was that it didn't show the emotional consequences that led up to Lilly's transition. Most trans women before transition live their lives imitating men and doing what men are "supposed" to do. But leading an inauthentic life comes at a cost - they give up their emotions - their real selves. And when they finally do allow themselves to be their true selves they find that they have real emotions, are real people with real lives. It's difficult to ever go back to being empty. So when Gerta ask Lilly to be her husband again Lilly said that she didn't think she could do it. I understand that but I didn't think the movie gave us the basis for that understanding.


Allison

Share this post


Link to post
Guest Astrosmurf

Oh God, I went to see this yesterday with my partner. It hit home to our situation, and it was harrowing for both of us, but kind of cathartic. We both cried, my partner sobbed and had to run to the toilet after the movie. I went to the loo as well, went in a cubicle and was overwhelmed, just sobbed as quiet as I could. My partner has green eyes and the whites were red, her eyes puffy, people were staring -- full on experience. I'll never forget this film.

I agree, not sure cis people will be as enthused but the performances etc. were great. Hope they get an oscar.

I did laugh right at the beginning, the shot opens on Gurda's beautiful eyes and you can see a big mascara clump in the outward corner of her right eye :rolleyes:

I hate clumps, but apparently they had mascara back then so it's maybe still authentic lol.

Share this post


Link to post
Guest Raya

The cinematography was great, (Had to be, film about artists?) and I thought the use of close ups in hi def really worked, but I dont get out to see many movies lately. The small bit of male nudity seemed appropriate.

The story line made me feel for Gerta- I mean what more could she do, and to be rewarded with ?!! Oh well.

As a gay friend pointed out, there was the lovely Hans waiting in the wings...

Share this post


Link to post
Charlize

We went to see it and i'm glad we did. The acting was superb as was the visual feeling of the film. I loved it and the tears that followed. It gave me a visceral feeling for those who had gender issues well before HRT or successful surgery was an option. It was certainly a powerful movie and i don't think it bothered my wife nearly as much as i thought it might. She has grown in understanding to an extent i'm finding miraculous.

I highly recommend the film.

Hugs,

Charlize

Share this post


Link to post
Guest

Finally gave in and watched The Danish Girl.

 

OMG.  What an incredibly bad movie.  The cast is beyond comprehension.

The dialect/accent is incredibly bad for a Danish setting.  The pronunciation of names is equally poor.

This is little more than a Hollywood sensationalising of a Trans* individual.

The only good point of this movie; it hits you in the feels.

 

Huggs, :wub:

 

Joann

Share this post


Link to post
Guest cerise

I saw the movie in the first week of its release and recently in the last 2 months. I would say it's quite accurate in its depiction of a couple dealing with such a revelation but having read the biographies that are available online the telling is somewhat skewed or packaged. 

I have talked about it with few people but the ones I have, I expressed my misgivings at Lily referring to herself in the third person in many of the circustances. That is probably due to the fact that it was taken from her diary.

The story in my mind focused on Girda , and life unfolding after her acceptance. Alicia Vikkanders role had far more substance to it and her acting deserved all the praise it was given.

It was very triggering for me but reading the truth as to the circumstances of Lily Elbe death make me feel the movie is misleading. 

Share this post


Link to post
Tejana

Very interesting thread.  I could never bring myself to watch the movie in question.  Being all too familiar with the true story on which it was based, I could never be comfortable seeing a cinematic dramatization of the real-life person's tragic demise.

Share this post


Link to post

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Who's Online   10 Members, 0 Anonymous, 107 Guests (See full list)

    • Mx.Drago
    • Susan R
    • DragonflyGirl
    • Emily michelle
    • MaryMary
    • KymmieL
    • Carolyn Marie
    • RunValRun
    • Teejay
    • Tori M
  • Topics With Zero Replies

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      70,909
    • Total Posts
      643,501
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      6,877
    • Most Online
      8,356

    HannahM
    Newest Member
    HannahM
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. michelle_kitten
      michelle_kitten
  • Posts

    • Susan R
      The fear is a natural and expected. Few of us can say we didn’t have some apprehension before introducing our true selves to the world. Although, when you do this you will begin to get a strong feeling of empowerment that comes from your inner acceptance. It’s subtle but happens.  Every day, you’ll get up feeling happier than the last and going out into the world will get a little easier each day. In no time, you’ll be so anxious to get on with your day...as yourself Emily michelle. Any looks or mumblings under their breath from others will instantly bounce off you and your confidence will take over.  Then one day, a moment will come and you’ll say to yourself, “Why didn’t I do this earlier?”.
    • KymmieL
      Yep, but I actually had some nice texts from him. No mention of him still being mad at me about things. Tomorrow is my grandson's 5th birthday. I had to make sure all the presents that were sent from Amazon got there.   Kymmie
    • Emily michelle
      I tried to put humor in it and said I was gonna start doing suave commercials lol
    • KymmieL
      Emily, just tell nosy neighbor it is nunya, non of your dang business. As for your brother in law I would just say, I just want to grow out my hair, period end of story. If you don't want to come out at the moment.   Kymmie
    • Emily michelle
      You are 100% correct I need to nip it in the bud. I’ve been getting tired of hiding. My sister said she would be there with me. I’m still just scared for some reason. And I’m afraid I will become the laughing stock of the county.
    • NB Adult
      Exactly, we can't choose our family but thankfully we can choose our friends and in time they will become our family.
    • Susan R
      I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this so suddenly. Things seem to be coming to a head though for you. It’s to be expected as you transition as you know. I put coming out for as long as I possibly could but eventually the time arrives when hiding it much longer is not realistic and more trouble than hiding it. You might ask your sister to be there for support (assuming she would) when you tell him.  The neighbors are a different story. They may start to come up with their own ideas as to what is going on. Sometimes their ideas can be way off and more outlandish than reality so it’s usually better to nip it in the bud before rumors start flying. Just my opinion...take it for what it’s worth.   My Best, Susan R🌷
    • ShawnaLeigh
      Thank you all.  I wasn’t sure as my natural color is a chestnut brown and it looked so foreign to me at first.  Well chestnut brown in my youth. It’s now a crappy grey.  Lol I do intend to do an everyday makeup and take another picture with natural light and I will post these too.   Thank again!❤️❤️❤️
    • Emily michelle
      I hate nosey neighbors too. I can kind of understand her because it’s hard to keep a secret from her husband. My wife and I spend a lot of time with them. He has been asking too mostly about why I haven’t gotten a haircut. I’m pretty afraid on how he will react. What made it even better he asked her about me in front of a whole crowd of people I know.
    • KathrynnCox
      Wow. That’s not cool. Personally I hate nosy neighbors. Mine just complain about my lawn. Right now. I’m so sorry you got cornered. You should be able to come out when you are ready, not someone else’s schedule. 
    • Emily michelle
      My sister just cornered me and asked when I was going to tell her husband. Because he is asking questions and our neighbors are asking questions. Of course the one neighbor is a loud mouth that has no filter. Apparently he asked my sister point blank what is going on with me. So I don’t know I want to come out so bad but I’m scared to death.
    • MaryMary
      I remember when I was a teenager the first years when I felt more intense dysphoria. I was starting my puberty (the wrong one). It felt like a mix of panic and depression. It was like a cloud that was setting in on top of my emotions and feelings. Without really realizing it I went from being relatively happy, listening to pop music and all that to being a trainwreck and just unable to deploy any effort on any projects and listening to very very dark music, suicidal etc etc lol I also remember when my voice changed because I remember the trauma and the panic. In fact I reacted so strongly that my voice didn't actually deepened. Later, doctors said it was because of stress...   Then as an adult, before my coming out it was like a general numbness and felt like I was turned off (like a computer that is turned off). I like the expression "crushing depression" that someone used, that's pretty much it.   Now I relatively don't have a lot but when I feel it it's no longer general numbness and depression. It's more like a knife stab, that sudden feeling you have the first second when you learn a really bad news.   Anyway, that's my way of describing    
    • Susan R
      I can relate to this exact feeling although I never smoked, I have seen the affects on others.  After purging my entire wardrobe, the powerful feeling of ‘accomplishment’ would eventually wear off.  Then, during this state of suppression, the dysphoria would start to kick in, often triggered by singular events...seeing a beautiful woman, seeing a man act chivalrous to a woman, or some similar event. My mind would not relent on those images and the need to dress as myself would increase as it always had. Within a week, I found myself thinking about nothing else but dressing as myself.  Eventually, to calm my mind, I would break down and go shopping.   Acceptance of yourself and who you are seems to be a good way to stop this unproductive, painful and costly cycle...at least this is true in my case.   Susan R🌷
    • Suiraa
      As previously stated, everyone experiences dysphoria differently. I've tried to study mine some to try and understand how it functions. It is like an internal mechanism that is uncomfortable and knows exactly what is causing the discomfort. This discomfort is then translated into impulses that feel very similar to craving something like nicotine (but not quite). One of the things for me is that I will feel discomfort in my body hair and I will have to shave and make myself look pretty. Otherwise I will start to become distracted and irritable. I need to study it way more and I currently consider my understanding of these mental processes to be rather limited.
    • Tori M
      What's all the fuss?  Is that not your natural color?  It's you, girl!  Hottie, gonna have all the guys' heads turnin'.
  • Upcoming Events

×
×
  • Create New...