fat

[ray]

Talking about weight, depression, medication, and surgeries.

Hi, this is my first post. I am fat. I have been most of my life. I had gastric bypass in late 2007, got down to the mid 160s for five years. Was never really happy. Got into the worst depression right after I had a tummy tuck and breast implants three years ago, was put on medications, and gained a lot of the weight I lost back. I'm not near where I was before, but I'm far away from what I had been. I worry now because it's even worse having my hips and larger breasts. Truth be told you can't even tell I have implants anymore, I've gained so much weight.

Most FTM support blogs I've found have been from slender people. I'm not slender. Never have been. I need support for people who are overweight, and are not able to achieve an even androgynous silhouette because of it. My hips are super wide. I am brand new to this, so I'm starting from the bottom. Any links to resources anyone can please share?

[MaryEllen]

Here is a couple that might give you some ideas. Proper diet and exercise is the key to losing weight.

MaryEllen

http://www.prevention.com/weight-loss/weight-loss-tips/top-10-weight-loss-tips-biggest-loser-club

http://www.oprah.com/health/Weight-Loss-Tips-from-Biggest-Loser-Trainers

[Charlize]

Welcome to Laura's. There are others here who have had or who have weight problems. I think few of us are completely satisfied with our looks. I simply try to accept what i've got. ( I can't complain too much.) Others work quite hard to change both lifestyle and body type. It sometimes seems to come more from admitting the problem and then making a decision to change than from anything else.

Hopefully you will find the support you need to find peace with yourself. The depression was the worst for me. In my case it was linked to an addiction to alcohol but the changes i have made have helped a great deal. Sharing with others has helped as well. Glad your here.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Jani]

Hello Ray and welcome. Hopefully you'll find some peace and comfort by reading and contributing here. We're all on our own personal journeys so you are not alone. Please join in the conversation. We look forward to hearing from you.

Jani

[JJ]

Hi Ray

When I realized I was trans I had been bedridden for 3 years and pretty crippled up long before that and my weight had soared to 350 lbs. I couldn't walk more than 30 feet-and sometimes not that. I couldn't stand unassisted for more than a minute either. I had been fit when I was younger but never very healthy. I was 63 when I decided to try to transition. When I told my family they involuntarily burst out laughing. They apologized and felt bad and I understood. The weight was causing a heart problem to be much worse and I had only weeks to a very few months left to live. Actually had set a date to end it rather than let myself slide down further

I ended up losing 200 lbs-in my 60s. And after starting building muscle back by swimming I started to hike. Now I hike cross country in a national forest around 7 or 8 miles a day with a 25 lb pack and 5 lbs in wrist weights on each arm. Did gain about 15 lbs back in muscle because I use resistance bands and do upper body work outs twice a day.

For me T made it far easier to exercise-I hate gym type exercising and still don't do that- but I felt better exercising than I ever had before even in my very fit 20s and 30s. And T made me healthier than I had ever been putting the Lupus and Fibro very nearly into remission. Also made losing weight fasteer and easier though it can and does make you hungry too.

I found a way of eating I loved and worked for me. We are highly individual so what I like and feel satisfied with may not satisfy someone else. But one thing that really helped most was keeping track of what I ate.Religiously 6 days a week. I use Livestrong's My Plate which works well and is free. I also eat whatever I want one day a week and can move that day around for special occasions. Because I have millions of empty fat cells I have to eat carefully for the rest of my life but I actually enjoy it. I'm s super taster and an amateur chef so food is very important to me. I also use it emotionally and though to a lesser degree now it is so ingrained I don't think that will ever change. One thing that helped early on was the high from the success helped fill some of the high from food. Exercise and looking like the man I have always been inside filled the rest. My next door neighbor had not seen me for awhile because we had both been busy and when I stopped to talk to her after the weight loss she actually argued with me that I was myself. I also serve on a board with someone I worked closely with several years ago who still hasn't realized it's me. I go by a different name and changed to the point she has no clue even when sitting directly across from one another at a table or working together on a project. I think she thinks I am my ex whom she never knew and is afraid to ask about me since I was so clearly in rapidly failing health back when I knew her before

Actually you didn't say if you were interested in losing weight and I apologize for all this if you are not. I think it can make a huge difference for us as FTMs because we need to lose that female layer of fat. I had enormous hips BTW-like 64 last I measured and I gained after that. Now I wear 32 pants. I have about 35 to 40 lbs of excess skin that will never go away because of my age and I have been delaying the removal surgery which is actually very painful and debilitating for awhile. But I look fit in my clothes -just not as skinny as I would be without that skin. Even enormous as I was my waist was always 10 or more inches smaller than my hips but now is about the same. My chest went from somewhere around DD to about a B. I don't measure. My Dr is looking for a local surgeon on the chest thing but binding works and I haven't been misgendered in going on 4 years. Even people who have known me all along have forgotten I was ever any different. My daughter mentioned something about her dad being an alcoholic in a conversation and they asked her what she meant because they knew I don't drink and she had to remind them I had changed and was not the dad she meant. I grinned.

Feel free to message me when you have 5 posts if you would like more info on how I lost the weight and keep it off. It's been 5 years since I started losing and will be 4 in June since the Dr ordered me to stop because I didn't have any fat left.. I'm satisfied with the way I eat and it's not a struggle to live this way which I know is for life.

It was a very hard and painful thing for me when I was overweight. I felt so hopeless. Especially at my age-I couldn't find a record of anyone my age losing 100 lbs much less the 200 I needed to lose. And I was shamed far more and treated badly far more for being so overweight than I ever have been for being trans even in this ultra conservative area . I understand the pain and hopelessness many of us feel. But I also know that if you want to you CAN beat it and have the life you dream. I'm not that special-I just found my answer. If there is anything I can do to help you find yours or make it easier it easier just let me know. I've been there.

Before: It's all me and I got even wider below where the pic stops

Now: I like black but they also have burned where I hike so black works best

Welcome to the forums. Glad you found us

Johnny

[Cosmo]

I've been back and to this post several times. I firmly believe that whatever we choose to do, be it weight loss, kicking the habit, quiting the bottle, etc,etc etc it will not happen in until we do it for ourselves. Once we are able to be very selfish by not being guilty investing in ourselves and not others, the desired change will just happen. When we are ready to do.something for ourselves and not for others, we can change our life. Just my opinion.